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chardonay Babii

Why a guy would play as a girl in SL

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Since it was mentioned a little earlier: I've found the best way to woo girls, and some guys for that matter, is to be a cute little birdie. I get all the scritches!

But silliness aside, I never got why people were so quick to think guys with female avis are just looking to bone. First off, the girls do get most the good stuff so from an avi building standpoint a female avi is going to be the better route and second off, well, it's harder to express your more feminine side in a male body in real life so why not do it in a virtual one? Always made sense to me.

My SL gender situation was a bit interesting. Started off in a female avi (I was female at the time, also an FTM here) then had a male alt that I actually liked being on even more, felt more, well, me. Threw so many people off that I was, at the time, a chick with a male avi because that's not so common. After a while being on my female avi just kinda felt, well, wrong. So I started looking at my real life too and, then, it hit me that I'm a guy and it was so drilled into me that I was what my body was for so long that I had been missing it. I still do have my female avi and I use her sometimes for roleplay (Non-erotic) but it's different with those who know me on that avi because they knew me when that avi was me (I made her to look just like my RL self at the time) but I went from being a girl playing a girl to a guy playing the same girl with that avi.

When it comes to my avi now, since gender is still a bit fluid to me (I'm a guy but I'm a feminine guy) and I worried about how people saw me based on my avi's setup since there's a lot of women who see a male avi come up to them and react differently than they would to a female avi since, well, we all know there's a lot of rude, "Hey wanna f***?" male avis out there and it's understandable for ladies to have their guard up. So I just went with an adorable little black headed caique parrot that way no one gets the wrong idea. You don't see a cute little bird with a pinwheel in their beak walking up to you and think "Oh boy, another horndog. . ." instead I tend to get "OMG you're so cute!" reactions which I don't mind a bit.

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I too have a male alt, and the thing I noticed is that I'm honest about it unlike most I have come across. I have In the rl section of my profile as big as day that I am a rl woman; mainly because I feel it's deceptive to wait until I feel comfy telling others I meet that after the fact nor does it "ruin" anything for me because I'm being honest and open and not trying to hide behind this veil.

If a person isnt trying to be deceitful than just be honest up front ... and yes it's true some people still will not care and still hit on me but thats their decision to make not mine.

I dislike when people use other genders but state it no where in their profiles and use the excuse of "It doesn't matter because I'm not trying to be intimate with anyone" etc etc. 

Yet some even become out right upset with this way of doing things and to me that's another underlining agenda regardless to rather they're ready to admit that or not.  

 

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When I started playing MMOs,  one of my guildies explained why he played a female character.  Basically, he told me that if he's going to be staring at a toon for 8+ hours a day,  he wants something cute to look at.  When he was  looking at the backside of a character all that time, he'd rather see a cute female butt wiggling as she ran, rather than staring at some dude's flat butt.   Made sense to me.  *shrug*  Who am I to tell someone who or how they can play?

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This could be a question of age also.

Generally, we all look like 20's to early 30's. Well dressed. Well groomed. Even the non-human avis are either neat and trim, or very developed ( Minotaur's, Were's, curvaceous bunnies). I danced with a man once who was in his mid 70's. His experience was that when someone found out his age, 9 out of 10 would either log out without a goodbye, or 'suddenly' need to log off.

A lot of people need to believe that what they see on screen is what is behind the keyboard. SL has changed a lot over the years. Very many people seem to need SL to mimic reality. I come here to take a few minutes to escape reality. To have better shoes. To be able to buy a new house once a month. I like the fantasy aspect. (I have a micro fairy avatar). I can do RL in RL. I don't care what gender you are behind the keyboard. Don't be an ass in whatever gender, species, object you present yourself in :)

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To keep things simple I log into SL as a human being.

With a well balanced feminine and masculine side it doesn’t really matter which gender you want to hang out with or what age. I’ve met bisexual males with a female avatar and 60+ year old women with 20 year old looking avatars. Be open minded and fiendly, who knows what you might learn or experience? Too many people are afraid. Afraid to let the unknown slip into their lives. SL is a great way to let the unknown surprise you in a relatively safe way. Make use of it as it does give you the chance to raise your awareness. 

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16 hours ago, Saiyara said:

This could be a question of age also.

Generally, we all look like 20's to early 30's. Well dressed. Well groomed. Even the non-human avis are either neat and trim, or very developed ( Minotaur's, Were's, curvaceous bunnies). I danced with a man once who was in his mid 70's. His experience was that when someone found out his age, 9 out of 10 would either log out without a goodbye, or 'suddenly' need to log off.

I've seen this happen. I'm almost 30 IRL but most my friends in SL are older folks, just get along better with them. But I've heard a lot of them, men and women, say that when someone finds out they aren't as young as their avi looks they treat them completely differently, even just chatting with them. Worst incident I know where someone got severe backlash for not looking like their avi however happened with a friend who survived a really bad car accident.

Let's call them Charlie since that's a nice, gender neutral name to make them harder to identify. Well Charlie's face was damaged beyond reconstructive surgery at the time in a car crash as a child. They have to look at what that drunk driver did to them every single day. Their avi, however, looks like they should have if the crash hadn't happened when they were a kid, they blended the looks of their parents to make an avi that looks as they think they would have. Charlie is a total sweetheart, always there for people, very kind and has a killer sense of humor, a great person. Some of us who've known Charlie forever on SL (8 years in my case) and who they know they can trust know what Charlie looks like IRL, well they started getting to know someone they thought they could trust and who they were interested in. After three years of knowing each other Charlie decided to show this person what they really looked like IRL because it seemed like things might get serious and go beyond the grid. When the person found out they flipped their s***, called Charlie things I dare not repeat, accused them of being a lying manipulator and even tried to ruin Charlie's reputation by sending the picture (A screenshot of the picture to be exact) to everyone in Charlie's friend group. Little did that person realize the rest of us already knew and didn't give a hoot so the response that person got was pretty, well, we were ready to rip them apart.

OK, so Charlie didn't look like their avi. Charlie has to live with being looked at like they're some alien every day of their life. They see the damage to their face every day in the mirror, yet people really expect them to make their avi reflect that so, even when Charlie is in a virtual world they can't escape the very thing that has caused so much pain and isolation for them?! Some people want the virtual world to match reality so much that even someone like Charlie gets flack for not making their avi have a face like their own? They may say those who don't make their avi match real life are in the wrong but, in reality, people who expect others to make their avi look like them, in some cases, are just plain cruel. Sorry but someone else's little comfort bubble isn't worth the distress matching an avi to RL would cause some people.

In case you're wondering what happened to the jerk that did that to Charlie, well, about month or so after it happened no one saw hide nor hair of them afterwards. We think we chased them off the grid, least on that avi. People in that group had a lot of friends, including a real estate company owner and that person's name ended up on a lot of sim ban lists. As for Charlie, they FINALLY found a plastic surgeon willing to at least try, younger doctor who knows a lot of the newer techniques. It's slow going but Charlie has their nose and ear back now so, hey, progress is progress!

But the big point here is that some people have really, really good reason to not make their avis look like them. We're judge based on a random roll of the genetic die every day, we didn't get to choose how we look or our disabilities, skin tone, etc. And those who've been disfigured by accidents sure as heck didn't choose to end up that way. Why should anyone be judge on something they didn't choose? It's very superficial and shallow for someone to expect another to make their avi look like them so they can continue to be judged by traits they had no choice about. If someone chooses to make their avi look like them, in any way, shape or form, that's up to them but it should never be expected of someone and no one should ever feel forced to do so.

Heck, like I said in my previous post, I like being a bird not just because of my love of birds but also because it's less threatening. I'm a 6'1" guy with 27 inch wide shoulders and, overall, a considerably intimidating frame and look even though I'm mostly a big teddy bear, and goof ball personality wise. If I went around with a human avi that looks like me, well, it likely wouldn't be near as easy for me to strike up conversation and make friends.

Man, I really need to stop writing mini-essays all the time, sorry bout that!

Edited by Victor Maven
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7 minutes ago, Victor Maven said:

I've seen this happen. I'm almost 30 IRL but most my friends in SL are older folks, just get along better with them. But I've heard a lot of them, men and women, say that when someone finds out they aren't as young as their avi looks they treat them completely differently, even just chatting with them. Worst incident I know where someone got severe backlash for not looking like their avi however happened with a friend who survived a really bad car accident.

Let's call them Charlie since that's a nice, gender neutral name to make them harder to identify. Well Charlie's face was damaged beyond reconstructive surgery at the time in a car crash as a child. They have to look at what that drunk driver did to them every single day. Their avi, however, looks like they should have if the crash hadn't happened when they were a kid, they blended the looks of their parents to make an avi that looks as they think they would have. Charlie is a total sweetheart, always there for people, very kind and has a killer sense of humor, a great person. Some of us who've known Charlie forever on SL (8 years in my case) and who they know they can trust know what Charlie looks like IRL, well they started getting to know someone they thought they could trust and who they were interested in. After three years of knowing each other Charlie decided to show this person what they really looked like IRL because it seemed like things might get serious and go beyond the grid. When the person found out they flipped their s***, called Charlie things I dare not repeat, accused them of being a lying manipulator and even tried to ruin Charlie's reputation by sending the picture (A screenshot of the picture to be exact) to everyone in Charlie's friend group. Little did that person realize the rest of us already knew and didn't give a hoot so the response that person got was pretty, well, we were ready to rip them apart.

OK, so Charlie didn't look like their avi. Charlie has to live with being looked at like they're some alien every day of their life. They see the damage to their face every day in the mirror, yet people really expect them to make their avi reflect that so, even when Charlie is in a virtual world they can't escape the very thing that has caused so much pain and isolation for them?! Some people want the virtual world to match reality so much that even someone like Charlie gets flack for not making their avi have a face like their own? They may say those who don't make their avi match real life are in the wrong but, in reality, people who expect others to make their avi look like them, in some cases, are just plain cruel. Sorry but someone else's little comfort bubble isn't worth the distress matching an avi to RL would cause some people.

In case you're wondering what happened to the jerk that did that to Charlie, well, about month or so after it happened no one saw hide nor hair of them afterwards. We think we chased them off the grid, least on that avi. People in that group had a lot of friends, including a real estate company owner and that person's name ended up on a lot of sim ban lists. As for Charlie, they FINALLY found a plastic surgeon willing to at least try, younger doctor who knows a lot of the newer techniques. It's slow going but Charlie has their nose and ear back now so, hey, progress is progress!

But the big point here is that some people have really, really good reason to not make their avis look like them. We're judge based on a random roll of the genetic die every day, we didn't get to choose how we look or our disabilities, skin tone, etc. And those who've been disfigured by accidents sure as heck didn't choose to end up that way. Why should anyone be judge on something they didn't choose? It's very superficial and shallow for someone to expect another to make their avi look like them so they can continue to be judged by traits they had no choice about. If someone chooses to make their avi look like them, in any way, shape or form, that's up to them but it should never be expected of someone and no one should ever feel forced to do so.

Heck, like I said in my previous post, I like being a bird not just because of my love of birds but also because it's less threatening. I'm a 6'1" guy with 27 inch wide shoulders and, overall, a considerably intimidating frame and look even though I'm mostly a big teddy bear, and goof ball personality wise. If I went around with a human avi that looks like me, well, it likely wouldn't be near as easy for me to strike up conversation and make friends.

Man, I really need to stop writing mini-essays all the time, sorry bout that!

 

C24FE178-10B6-49B4-BED2-9FCBBB36B3FD.jpeg

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Really funny question, but would u ask a dog avi to bark in voice as proof it IS an IRL dog and notre à Switch? Would u condamn an SL manager to be à Fake if IRL he has no job? Where on TOS it s said u have to do an avi corresponding to ur IRL? Why to Ask justification and rationale? The only response should be SL IS second life, IRL IS first one, why should SL be equal IRL? À topic to Ask why it IS done IS the first step to provide rationale to later condamn.

Edited by LamyaeNeferati
Typo
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On 2/18/2018 at 5:57 PM, Elijah Pyrithea said:

I’ve met bisexual males with a female avatar

Everyone is Bisexual to some degree, I think its normal. In all my years in SL and the honesty anonymity affords its been almost every girl has confided in me an attraction to other girls at some point. Guys are a little more reluctant to be honest but many have also said they had varying degrees of bisexuality including experimentation but not strictly gay.

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3 hours ago, chardonay Babii said:

Everyone is Bisexual to some degree, I think its normal.

I agree, and if you’ve never ***** a *****, you should definitely try it.

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10 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I agree, and if you’ve never ***** a *****, you should definitely try it.

I´m always kinda iffy when I read that... I mean I tried... thoroughly... for 8 months... and nope I just don´t feel the slightest attraction to female bodies. Not my own nor any other SL or ...any life really.. not even Kasha and well I can tell she´s hot:P

But to pick the "SL Avi looks like RL person" topic up again ... well, we do have some similarities like Kasha has my eyes. I do have a "me" shape with an outfit and a RL picture in my profile (HEY! The helmet is off so it counts, k :P ).

In fact Kasha´s 3 days older than me and I guess (well ok I got more grey hair XD) we kinda look our age (I am horrible at guessing ages) so I never really had these problems. On the other hand the gender doesn´t really bother me, never has, even when I did adult RP and the dude I played with occasionally was a female in RL according to  a friend who "HAD" to tell me and was so shocked when I was like "oh? hm...so?" My first SL hubby looked FAR from his avi... like... opposite far xept for both having brown hair! Dude was ...4-5times the size his avi was. And trust me that was not why I´d call him some ... not so nice names nowadays.

I don´t think I know anybody where avi and person look alike

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On 2/22/2018 at 7:56 AM, LamyaeNeferati said:

Really funny question, but would u ask a dog avi to bark in voice as proof it IS an IRL dog and notre à Switch? Would u condamn an SL manager to be à Fake if IRL he has no job? Where on TOS it s said u have to do an avi corresponding to ur IRL? Why to Ask justification and rationale? The only response should be SL IS second life, IRL IS first one, why should SL be equal IRL? À topic to Ask why it IS done IS the first step to provide rationale to later condamn.

 

DC095775-237D-4AD8-AA92-4A3120664D22.jpeg

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1 minute ago, Akasha Sternberg said:

I tried... thoroughly... for 8 months.

You tried, that’s what counts! So you know for sure what you like!

92978A16-2D1C-4B23-B2E6-AD4831415089.jpeg

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3 minutes ago, Akasha Sternberg said:

But to pick the "SL Avi looks like RL person" topic up again ... well, we do have some similarities like Kasha has my eyes.

I have the same tattoo in RL and SL.

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14 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I have the same tattoo in RL and SL.

ohhh I know I know and shhhh ... me too ;) (well... as good as it´s recreatable in SL...or was back then xD ) but beside that... yeah ^^

 

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Just now, Akasha Sternberg said:

ohhh I know I know and shhhh ... me too ;) (well... as good as it´s recreatable in SL...or was back then xD ) but beside that... yeah ^^

 

That’s one way to be extra sexy and unique, right?

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Just now, Love Zhaoying said:

I’ll show you mine if you show me yours! 

0296582F-DE92-490E-AC8A-49AA1BB180DE.jpeg

MEEEEP but I´m shy... nah seriously - no prob^^ but then you posted yours the other day

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3 minutes ago, Akasha Sternberg said:

MEEEEP but I´m shy... nah seriously - no prob^^ but then you posted yours the other day

You’ve seen it then. ?

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4 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I agree, and if you’ve never ***** a *****, you should definitely try it.

The feminine has a few sides and one is sexual. The one I like best is pink, cute, kind, empathetic, sensitive,  sweet and a great communicator.  See, just pretty in pink after a shopping trip. Not looking for sexual gratification!

That helped me get over the 100L fashion tragedy I bought off the Markeplace an hour before that little voice in my head said don't buy that is now in my trash, lol.

Snapshot_005.png

Edited by chardonay Babii
Half asleep typos
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IMG_6632.thumb.JPG.55f15c7bba7c2f8f57450fbfb50446b8.JPGRL today I did a test I came across,  the thing is to measure the length of your index and ring fingers. On a guy typically the ring finger is longer because of testosterone exposure in the womb while your developing. As it turns out mine is exactly as a girls would be being equal or ring finger smaller.   Plus those nails of mine can grow as long as falsies and I have really long eyelashes girls would die for too lol.

 

https://msu.edu/~bjlab/androgens.html 

That probably explains a lot. Waxing chest could be done in under 5 min virtually painlessly cause there is virtually no hairs and has always been that way. 

 

IMG_9403.JPG

Try it and tell me how you go..

Edited by chardonay Babii

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