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What does "ladies only" mean?


jaleasha
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"Pammy's is a girls club, so ladies only please."

I am a male IRL who always uses a female avatar in SL. I've seen several places on SL described as "ladies only" (or women-only, or females only). Does that mean only people who are female IRL (regardless of the avatar's gender) or does it mean only female avatars (regardless of the users real life gender). There's never any explanation, so I assume everyone on SL must know what this means? 

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jaleasha wrote:

"
Pammy's is a girls club, so ladies only please."

I am a male IRL who always uses a female avatar in SL. I've seen several places on SL described as "ladies only" (or women-only, or females only). Does that mean only people who are female IRL (regardless of the avatar's gender) or does it mean only female avatars (regardless of the users real life gender). There's never any explanation, so I assume everyone on SL must know what this means? 

That's probably a question best left up to the owner of the establishment. Some might interpret it to mean only female avatars, while some might interpret it to mean only rl females with female avatars. So, really, it's best not to ask folks here, you're more likely to get both answers-which will leave you right where you began ;)

Of course, there aren't really any good ways to know if the female avatar has a real female running it, or not...so I suppose interpretation may mean absolutely nothing at all ;)

 

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It refers to female avatars.

Everything else would be impossible to verify for every visitor. It has been this way at all the places I went to, who were "ladies only". And a quick search for "Pammy's" reveled that the handle it this way too, as the describtion said "female Avi's only".

 

 

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My interpretation matches Steph's, "ladies only" means female avatars. It's not really nice, practical or useful to limit membership to only "genuine" female-in-real-life biological sex (whatever this would mean) in almost 100% of cases. Most establishments seem to be relating to gender and gender expression - if you feel feminine then you're probably welcome. And you're right, that most folks are aware of what happens online and that gender expression/presentation is increasingly non-binary (both online and off).

That said, I can only speak for myself and don't know what these establishments are seeking to cultivate or protect. I don't frequent gender-specific locations very often because I personally prefer the mix. I do have a couple of thoughts for how this might go, entirely subjective, disregard entirely if you choose:-

 

  • These locations would definitely reserve the right to police admissions, and would possibly have additional rules concerning acceptable behaviour. It may not be appropriate - in these locations - to speak "as though you were female-in-real-life", to "mansplain" or to use "male gaze"-styled language. Often this kind of boundary is a 'soft boundary', but in certain cases it could be seen as incredibly rude or transgressive to present your experiences as "typical" female experiences or to "speak for" other women who may have differing experiences.
  • Worth noting also, that some women at these locations may be exclusively looking for same-biological-sex interaction and very much not looking for male attention and the fetishization that sometimes goes with it. If you're getting involved with someone who seems like they have these strict expectations then honesty is definitely better than secrecy and omission.

If you're unsure on this, it may be most useful to ask other folks in attendance at these locations (as Tari suggests), to see how they'd appreciate contributions to be made. If it seems like your attendance would cause issues or affect other people negatively (such as making people uncomfortable), perhaps consider a move to somewhere else for a while.

Hope this makes sense. :)

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As I said above, I'm not sure that there is an issue, but I don't often go to these types of places. I could see some people having issues with transgressive behaviour in these environments for some pretty legitimate reasons which I outlined. Nice people are nice, but unless the sign says "Nice people only" it's not what's being talked about. These aren't my issues, just those I've seen and the reasoning behind them as I understand it to be. Their world, their imagination.

Not sure partnering is objectively best any particular way around, but instead best left to those in the partnership. Honesty is, at best, a temporary and fleeting state of affairs and I don't see huge dividing lines separating SL away from my reality.

Hope that clarifies. :)

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jaleasha wrote:

"
Pammy's is a girls club, so ladies only please."

I am a male IRL who always uses a female avatar in SL. I've seen several places on SL described as "ladies only" (or women-only, or females only). Does that mean only people who are female IRL (regardless of the avatar's gender) or does it mean only female avatars (regardless of the users real life gender). There's never any explanation, so I assume everyone on SL must know what this means? 

Just use a female avatar like all of the other guys and stop worrying about it. Almost all interactions in SL are roleplayed to some extent.

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steph Arnott wrote:

Lost me there. How would you determine as 99.9% are not RL female? I am and know no place that can or do ask.

You wouldn't, which is what I said, lol. Since there is no way to really determine who is and who isn't.

I still say, ask the owner, only that person knows what he/she means. 

 

edited to fix stupid typo

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