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valerie Inshan

How do you manage your friends list?

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I often help newbies and I often friend them to make it easier for me to tp them to helpful places or freebie stores. Very few of them maintain contact after that first day and I will delete them once they've been there long enough that I've forgotten who they are.

People who are or were actual friends don't get deleted even if they haven't logged on in a long time.

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When I first started SL, I had someone who I thought would make a cool friend unfriend me after a bit. I was disappointed, but I guess she didn't feel like putting up with a newbie for to long after the first stepping stones...hehe. I used to delete people with a message that I would readd them if they ever came back to SL, but then stopped doing that when people who I was good friends with suddenly stopped logging on.

I was away from SL from 50 days cause my HD crashed...when I came back I too had found some people had defriended me without seeing whether or not I was okay or why. I told them all what happened, and some readded me.

I have close friends, acquaintances, business contacts all on my list so it wouldn't make sense for me to remove people I don't speak to all the time. I think only reason I remove people if I didn't feel like declining their friend request at the time they asked me to be friends (i do decline people who don't read my profile regarding random friend requests,though).  I will give some friends a time out (aka uncheck them from online list) if I get 5 TPs a day. I don't want to accidentally tp to a location while I'm working or talking with a friend and I have notices from my groups coming in.

I keep my calling cards as well so I can keep track of who was ever added to my friends list.

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What is this "manage" that you speak of? I really dont see any advantage to pruning my friends list.

Basically the only time I will unfriend someone is if they put out mass blind TP offers.

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The friends list has become harder to manage ever since they started using web profiles to make privacy settings!

I never add someone unless they're a VIP to me, or some person of interest, or if not: then they must approach my avatar and converse with me and cause me to like them.  The words they say isn't what makes me like them.  I like them if I see something in them that appeals to me.  People who talk to much might get muted.

Once they are on my list, I rarely remove them unless I feel they failed the above yet somehow convinced me to add them.

People who are obviously phishing for avatar behavior or RL information are removed when my suspictions make me uncomfortable.  Also people who emote to me as soon as I login are candidates for friendship removal if I hardly know them.

Other than that, most people on my list need very little 'managing', most people are friendly and respectful.

 

 

Alt=:smileywink:

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My friends list is based on amount of interaction.

I am not so eager to build up my friends list to some x amount, some people just accept and accept till they hit some high number....and it means nothing, like having 5000 pals on Facebook or MySpace, why have that many when you are not going to keep in contact with all of them...

I used to have 50 friends in MySpace, I actually wrote 50 messages, 1 for every friend each week (none were copy-paste). Over half did not respond to several messages after I took the time to write them something. So I deleted them, the number of contacts or friends do not mean anything other than some ego thing.

Considering the number of people on SL, most will forget who you are unless you actually stay in contact..and most people stay in contact with a handful of people at most.

I get guys adding me before they even talk to me...I tel them that I do not add unless I get to know them first....I am not some habitual add-ho. 

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To be useful, my friends list needs to be focused. So, I prune mine regularly. The very act of cleaning it forces me to consider what each person means to me and sometimes prompts me to re-establish contact with a neglected friend. I admit to feeling unhappy sometimes when I am defriended, so I try to be sensitive when defriending others. I consider the depth of the friendship, the length of time without contact, and the pleasure, if any, that the friendship brings me. For uncomplicated situations where I perhaps met the person once, no contact in three months is enough to take them off my list. If the friendship meant something to me but now is dead or unpleasant, I sometimes send a polite note at the time I defriend. I try not to burn any bridges.

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I have a question; I have recently downloaded the SL Notifier app and it says I have to buy a server to make it work. What is the name of the server supposed to be?

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I got 6 people on mine and none of them speak to me.. but in turn its not like i hit them up either.. i feel like the time is a bit awkward.. like "hey whats up?" After so many monthes.. im an axious person like that.. and i dont wanna be labeled as a weirdo for trying to talk to people after ages.. i know.... im a sensitive snowflake..

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I have a simple system in place. 

1. If somebody offers me friendship I accept it, but if they don't talk to me in the next few day I silently drop them. 

2. Also if I'm the only one how is hiting up the other one to chat I will drop that person. 

 

 

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   Uhm. Not sure why a 9 year old thread was revived to ask about something that doesn't directly have to the topic to do. 

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Way I handle it? It's a two-way street process, like a flower, a relationship needs to be nurtured and if party A is giving in more effort than party B is then most likely it's not worth keeping around, so in that instance I'll remove a contact and carry on; as it's a good indicator they probably didn't care much to begin with and are just there to be there. But, for the most part I keep people on my list, no matter for how long they haven't logged in or some such because things happen and real life is is real life. If there is a clear sense of "I'm here and there for you" then it's no big deal.

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9 years on and my policy on my friends list hasn't changed. I delete them when I've forgotten who they are.  People who are/were genuine friends don't get deleted even if they've not logged on in months or years. Who knows, maybe one day they'll come back and it'll be nice for them to know that at least one of their old friends is still around.

This makes me wonder, lots of people post here saying they need new friends because they've come back after a break of several years and no-one on their friends list logs in any more. What if they do, but they already removed this poor guy cos he didn't log in for 2 years?  

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Its quite simple how I manage mine. If you have not made any efforts to talk to me in more than a month you get deleted. If I am the one that always has to initiate the conversation every time you will get deleted in a few months. If I keep trying and you dont respond back ever, you get deleted sooner. Its called a friends list for a reason, its for friends to keep in contact with each other. if either side of that equation is not holding up to their end of the deal then there is no friendship and they no-longer deserve to be on the list anymore.

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