When you see an avatar who needs help with their appearance - what do you do?

[Penny Patton]

I never offer unsolicited criticism or advice for other people's avatars. Some might appreciate it, but others would just get offended. If someone does ask I will be very honest and as constructive as possible.

 

I do sometimes stop by newbie help areas to see if anyone is looking for help but, again, when I'm out and about I don't just offer advice to people who aren't looking for it.

[Ariel Vuissent]

I've been scared off of accepting freebies, especially skins, from people since discovering that many items I was given when I was new were copybotted. They have, of course, since been deleted, but I would be suspicious of anyone giving out bunches of freebie items. I'd rather send someone to freebie shops for them to pick out their own things. That way, not only can they be relatively sure they're not getting copybotted items, but they also get to choose what THEY think is attractive, even if the person giving the landmarks hated it.

I would want someone to tell me if my avatar looked really bad - things poking out of weird places, attached wrong, upside down, whatever. I'd be less thrilled to be told that my shape or skin or clothes in general looked bad, since that's pretty subjective - everyone likes different things. I do tend to let people know - mostly guys - that they would look better with an AO, since lately I've been running into tons of guys with no AO, and many of them have been around since 2008 or 2009.

[Xena Barzane]

Normally, when out and about, if I see someone caming me with their pointer and they look like they might need help, I will message them and ask if they need help. Usually most people will ask, especially if they are under 90 days. I hand out landmarks frequently, for things like AO's, skins, hair, or point them to marketplace.

If they have a problem like shoes, then yes, missing bases, or even hair with the LL base and not a bald base, it's easy to strike up a conversation to help them with those sorts of things. But I too usually read profiles and rezz dates, as most of us know, this is an indication of what type of SL'er the person is, or if they are willing to spend linden to upgrade to a better looking avatar.

[Marcus Hancroft]

Howdy, Miss Venus!

What I don't get are those avatars who look like noobs with freenis', system hair, etc., and when you look at their profile they are over 1200 days old.  I've seen a number of them recently and when I do, my first thought is that they must not care one whit what THEY look like, but expect that another avatar that's beautifully put together is gonna want to marry him/her right on the spot! When I see someone that old whose in a noob skin and all, they invariably have NPIOF.  Which means they've never spent one single linden in SL. It's those people who I ignore.

If there is a new resident who has obviously TRIED to do something with themselves, I have a lot of help I can give.  I made my own shapes that I can give to them for free, I have a bunch of landmarks to freebie skins, clothes, etc that I can give them and I even have a gift bag full of premium clothes that I have purchased in the past that I no longer wear that I can give them!

The last time I did that, though, I saw the guy I gave all that stuff to a few days later, and he was in worse shape than the first day I saw him in SL.  When I asked him about everything, he said he decided not to keep any of that, trashed it and was happy as heck at his new avatar!  So, there went all that money I spent, down the drain.  Oh, well, I wasn't wearing those clothes anymore anyway.  But it was just how unappreciated everything I did for him went in the end.

I'll be a LOT more selective from now on in who I decide to help.  :smileysad:

[Kascha Matova]

 

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Venus Petrov wrote:

There are those who leave profiles fairly barren because they wish to have a conversation first--i.e., ask me what you want to know. I prefer to find something that might be of interest to me or is a common interest to start a conversation.  So, look at your profile as if it were someone else's and think of how you might start a conversation with yourself.

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See now I don't get that. I saw you say it was curious to have only one pic in the profile after having been around for two years, but when did there start being an obligatory usage of the profile for anything?

When I first got here in '07, I threw all kinds of pictures in my profile and shoutouts to friends, stores, clubs, blah blah blah. After a while, I just stopped doing it. Not for any particular reason besides that it was simply one more thing to update constantly. Then on breaks, I've completely wiped it, like it pretty much is now. I don't feel much obligation to start filling it out again.

Everyone is a stranger until they take the step not to stay one. Not getting on your case Venus, but this need for the Cliff-Note version of people ahead of time is a very bad carryover from RL. Interaction between people is not the better for everyone needing a quick summary of others before deciding whether or not they're "worth the time". I remember the days when if people wanted to talk to someone they'd walk up and start talking. They'd discover as they went along. They'd get to know them by getting to know them. I miss those days.

[Venus Petrov]

 

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Kascha Matova wrote:

 

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Venus Petrov wrote:

There are those who leave profiles fairly barren because they wish to have a conversation first--i.e., ask me what you want to know. I prefer to find something that might be of interest to me or is a common interest to start a conversation.  So, look at your profile as if it were someone else's and think of how you might start a conversation with yourself.

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See now I don't get that. I saw you say it was curious to have only one pic in the profile after having been around for two years, but when did there start being an obligatory usage of the profile for anything?

When I first got here in '07, I threw all kinds of pictures in my profile and shoutouts to friends, stores, clubs, blah blah blah. After a while, I just stopped doing it. Not for any particular reason besides that it was simply one more thing to update constantly. Then on breaks, I've completely wiped it, like it pretty much is now. I don't feel much obligation to start filling it out again.

Everyone is a stranger until they take the step not to stay one. Not getting on your case Venus, but this need for the Cliff-Note version of people ahead of time is a very bad carryover from RL. Interaction between people is not the better for everyone needing a quick summary of others before deciding whether or not they're "worth the time". I remember the days when if people wanted to talk to someone they'd walk up and start talking. They'd discover as they went along. They'd get to know them by getting to know them. I miss those days.

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There is nothing 'wrong' with your use of your profile.  After all, it is yours.  I was just stating my opinion.  I am more likely to strike up a conversation with someone if I can see something of interest in their profile.  If it gives me nothing, I move on.  I am suggesting that I am shy and like to have some common interest (or an idea of one) before I say 'hello'.

 

[Kascha Matova]

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Venus Petrov wrote:

 

There is nothing 'wrong' with your use of your profile.  After all, it is yours.  I was just stating my opinion.  I am more likely to strike up a conversation with someone if I can see something of interest in their profile.  If it gives me nothing, I move on.  I am suggesting that I am shy and like to have some common interest (or an idea of one) before I say 'hello'.

 

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I can understand shyness. And again I really wasn't getting on your case. I guess I just feel like quality people are often levels deep and don't necessarily put themselves out there in a profile, preferring for people to actually commit to getting to know them. I know I'm that way. I'd want you to just come up and say hi if you wanted to, without pre-qualifying me like I was trying to buy a house. 

If you see me in-world, just throw a rolled up pair of socks at my head, or paddle my butt with a tennis racket. I'll chatter like there's no tomorrow and you'll know all about me. It works almost like a ripcord  :womanhappy:

[Rhonda Huntress]

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Venus Petrov wrote:

 

I think Immy on page 1 had a good strategy.

 

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Way off topic but ... how many posts per page do you have?  At the time of writing this, I only see one page total ....

 

Back on topic:

I take the same stance as you would in RL; never ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you actually see the baby moving.  And never ask someone if they need help with their appearance unless they duck walk with a box on their hand.

I will usually introduce myself and welcome people that are very new but beyond giving a generic offer to help or answer any questions, I do not do anything to try and fix someone else.  I may mention to someone I see their bits and ask if they knew they were visable but that has happened maybe twice in 4+ years.

[Zim Gunsberg]

I usually limit my interference by giving LMs unless they specifically ask for help.  If it's an older account still wearing system skin/hair/clothing I figure they're either fine with looking like that or don't care and say nothing.

[Kalynn Carnell]

I've helped a few newbies here and there during my time in SL.  Usually, it's someone that I've been talking to already for a little while and then they just ask me for help.  The most fun I had was helping out a guy friend that had a rez date fairly close to me.  My sister helped with him...and I can say that a year and a half later, on his SL wedding day, he was still wearing the hair that I had helped him pick out.  LOL.  His partner wouldn't let him change it.

I have seen some people with shapes that honestly make me want to ask them if they actually meant to look like that.  I never do, but if a prim is poking out somewhere or they aren't wearing the bases with their shoes or the SL system hair is showing, I'll send an IM to let them know.

As for filling out profiles, I'm like Venus.  I like to perv the profiles to see if there is something interesting in there that I can open a conversation with that person about.  I have to say that I don't really have any places or clubs or anything in my picks; just a few to reflect my sis, a funny moment with a friend, funny quotes I've heard while in SL, and a poem that my RL boyfriend wrote a few years ago.

Mmmm....I think I need to go hit some of the newbie welcome areas to see if I can help out anyone.

 

[Nuuna Nitely]

I only say something when asked. Otherwise it's non of my business how people choose to look in SL.