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Friendly Friends Friending to Friend

Prokofy Neva

By Prokofy Neva,
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Prokofy Neva

Prokofy Neva

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I often find newbies instantly friending me as soon as they land in the welcome area or infohub. Most of the time I click "yes" if I'm not AFK because I figure they need help building a friends' list when getting started. If they IM me to chat or ask questions later from another sim because they have my card still, that's fine. I don't mind them staying my "friend" until they begin to send out mass messages to me to join them at a club because they are either now owners trying to build traffic or they are hired to produce traffic by owners. That ends my little friendship with the newbie sometimes, but I try to err on the side of friendliness.

Another thing that happens is when tenants friend me who aren't really my friend but just want to friend me so they can find me online for service. I assure them they can reach me offline in email and I answer all IMs promptly but they like that little reassure so I'm happy to be friends.

This does somewhat devalue the notion of friends but that's ok : )

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Darren Oates

Darren Oates

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Yep its no diffrent from reallife those who prosper best and have a easy life have a very small circle of close freinds other wise you find yourself being dragged down into the never ending issues of life that you yourself woulnt ever get into.  That said many people joining a GROUP is much better for helping those newbies than offering frendship a group is for the mass and freinds are best kept to small numbers.

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Storm Clarence

Storm Clarence

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I handle it a tad different.  I go to a welcome center every friday and help some newer people. I pass out NC's and take some of them shopping - explain some of the smaller things I have discovered about SL.  Many offer their friendship and I accept - I also explain a little about calling cards and friendships.  I explain that I will not keep them on my friends list, but I do have their calling card.  If they want to continue in any meaningful relationship (what I consider a friend) then they should contact me - as I will them.  If nothing happens neither loses. 

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Dresden Ceriano

Dresden Ceriano

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I usually never except friend requests if that person hasn't spoken to me first. What I do is IM them and ask if they need some help. I do this before declining their request, that way if they answer me and do need help I can except it. Then I will let them know that they can IM me if they need any further help in the future. If they don't answer then I decline their request, simple as that.

I'll also let them know that some consider it rude to send a friend request without taking the time to first start a conversation with them. I consider that an important thing to point out, especially if they are new.

Personally, I never send friend request without asking the person if they want me to first. I just think that the most courteous way of handling it.

...Dres

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Venus Petrov

Venus Petrov

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I, too, visit Welcome Areas a couple of times a month to hand out helpful NCs and answer questions.  Most of the time, I do not get offers of friendship there.  However, I do often get offers of friendship from patrons at the club where I DJ.   This usually happens when I am working.  Most of the time I will have had absolutely no exchange with someone before a blue box drops down asking to be my friend.  The path of least resistance for me in that moment is to accept the offer.  I will wait a couple of days to see if that person contacts me (usually they do not) and then remove them and let them know in a brief IM that they have my calling card should they need to contact me.

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Treasure Ballinger

Treasure Ballinger

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My friends list is pretty large; very few are actually friends; SL business related stuff, disability related contacts.  Outside of the scrolling (lol) it doesn't bother me much, as I know who the friends are, and who are 'others'.  I'm that way in RL too, something that carried over into SL.  My RL husband has a best friend, that they've been best friends since age 3.  People tend to pass through my life, although there are one or two that have been there a long time; still, not that long.  The thing is, I'm ok with this, as I'm rather an isolationist anyway.....I don't need to be entertained, at all, I'm good, alone.  Someone on the old forums, I forget who, had a tag for awhile, that I loved.  It read:

**Log On.  Open Communication Box.  You have no friends online.  EXCELLENT!  **

LOL, I always liked that,

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Storm Clarence

Storm Clarence

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Prokofy Neva wrote:

I do wish I could have "contacts" like a business card and "friends" who are really true friends. The lists are out of control.

I look down the list sometimes and note the ones that have my build perms. Those are true friends.

 

My 'true friends' are the ones I speak with and share my SL experiences.  My 'true friends' are my only friends.

PS I let anybody build on my property - of course, I am a friendly friend always friending a friend.

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Ishtara

Ishtara

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I decline random friendship request by complete strangers, and politely explain to customers who want to friend me that I reserve my friends list for long-time acquaintances and business partners.

I'd also like to see a contact list in addition to my short and manageable friends list that I try to keep around ten names or less. Unlike friends, contacts shouldn't be notified when I come online, which is my main concern.

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Jessika Rang

Jessika Rang

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Just yesterday I had a friend request come out of the blue from a brand new resident (I was hair shopping).  I sent him back an IM saying it was innappropriate to friend someone without starting a conversation first.  He then proceeded to ask me where I was from in rl and what my age was (lolz).  So I tried to explain that those aren't the greatest conversation starters in SL.  I did end up friending him but it likely won't last (he was pretty young and he's from an Eastern Block country so our time zones likely won't be conducive to "hanging out").

I like to be friendly and helpful to noobs but I don't go out of my way like Storm and Venus.  I will de-friend eventually but I don't regularly clean out my list.

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Jessika Rang

Jessika Rang

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Ishtara wrote:

I'd also like to see a contact list in addition to my short and manageable friends list that I try to keep around ten names or less. Unlike friends, contacts shouldn't be notified when I come online, which is my main concern.

 

I totally agree that there should be a way to "categorize" friends lists and give different permissions to different categories.

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Wildcat Furse

Wildcat Furse

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Here’s a simple description of how SL friendship works for me:

1/ Any resident can invite me for friendship
2/ I can accept or reject the invite (or just ignore)
3/ The friendship is only active once accepted
4/ A silent or boring friendship = U get poofed
5/ Real friends stay for life ;o)

*meows*

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