Friends List Query : 'Diplomatic deletion'

[Kitty Otoole]

Like most people in Sl I went through a phase of accepting friend requests and sending them out to all and sundry when I was a newb..now I realise my friends list is just beyond control!

I've been in game ages and it's time that I reeled it in somewhat, but the problem is people know whn you have deleted them don't they? Is there any way you can do this without the avatar concerned being aware? I'm not asking this to be shady; rather than cause offence to people!

I know it sounds an odd query but is there a way to do it at all? If there isn't I'll just leave it, it's good for the ego after all (!) BUT it's disturbing me that I have no idea who the majority of the people are! I know I'm getting old but surely my memory ain't THAT bad?

 

=^..^=

[Storm Clarence]

You can either delete the name - defriend.  Or you can contact the individuals and tell them you are deleting the name.  Either way works - whatever you are comfortable with.

I delete.  If they really want to continue a relationship of any sort they will get back in touch with you.

There is no way to do it where they would not know.

[Derek Torvalar]

If you don't remember or interact with some of the people on your list then it is likely they won't remember you either and therefore won't be offended if they see the notification. In fact they may be just as relieved to see there friends list shrink too.

If you delete someone and they get offended by it even though you only have spoken to them once or twice 4 months ago I wuldn't worry too much about it. If they cared they would be speaking to you on a more regular basis, wouldn't they?

[Venus Petrov]

Turn it around from your perspective.  If suddenly you did not see a friend on your list, what would you think?  If you had not talked to them in awhile, maybe relief?  In any case, Storm's reply is correct.  You cannot hide that you are not on their list any longer and they are not on yours.

[Cinnamon Lohner]

There is no notification when someone defriends you.  I just tried it.  It's not like the group removal.  The only way someone would know is if they notice your name missing from their friend list.

--Cinn

Edited to add: Bee just pointed out to me that viewers like Phoenix DO in fact notify the user if someone de-friends them.  So my answer only applies to SL viewers.   Which unfortunately doesn't help the problem :smileysad:

[bee Baroque]

in phoenix at least, perhaps other tpvs as well, you get a notification if the person is online at the time of defriending.

[Cinnamon Lohner]

ah. I was wondering if that might me the case. Stupid TPV's I'll edit my answer. thx!

[bee Baroque]

storm gave a great answer.

if you do decide to remove people without letting them know first there could be a chance they will im you seconds after you remove them if they are online and happen to use the phoenix viewer. phoenix sends the other person a notification when someone defriends them. (only if they are online) just be prepared. but perhaps they won't do it at all.

in the end it's your friends list.

oh, i love your signature!

"does this count as annoying...?"

[bee Baroque]

np i do love my phoenix, but in this case i agree with you, that "feature" is a stupid drama magnet.

[Porky Gorky]

A friend of mine did this recently and was paranoid about offending people. So she decided to tell a little white lie in the event a de-friended person got back in touch. She told people her account had been hacked and that the hacker had cleared her friends list. This way no ones feelings got hurt...just blame it on some else :smileyhappy:

[Kitty Otoole]

Thanks, I've just bitten the bullet and done it..and I feel relieved! Thanks for your reply- I do appreciate it:)

( yes, i know i'm a TOTAL softy!)

[Kitty Otoole]

Thanks for your help, and the comment on my sig!

 

=^..^=

[Kitty Otoole]

Thanks for your reply-appreciate it!

[Kitty Otoole]

You made some really good points there- thanks for your input!

[Kitty Otoole]

Very true: I had a good think then swallowed some dutch courage and decided to just go for it:)

[Peewee Musytari]

Hey hey KItty,

Just do it when they are offline, if they don`t notice your name gone from their list they probably won`t miss you....Though I am personally mortified that you didn`t miss me when I zapped you the other day LOL :smileyvery-happy:

[Kitty Otoole]

YOU ZAPPED ME? YOU RATBAG!! xxx

[Peewee Musytari]

Yeah sorry hehe....But did make me laugh when I saw your post here....Was nothing personal, we`ll still keep randomly bumping into each other I`m sure, my list was getting a bit too insane too, we are too old lol HUGGS

[RedMokum Bravin]

Text for a notecard :smileyhappy:

"Dear friend,

I haven't heard from you in ages and maybe we both lost track of how and why we have become friends.
Since I can no longer afford to buy rezzday presents for all of my friends, I have decided to finally shorten the list.
I hope you won't mind if I take you off, until somewhere in the future we might meet again on a more regular base.

If you really insist on keeping me among your friends, I kindly ask that you pay me L$ 500 as a contribution to my administrative cost.

Yours sincerely...."