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Where are all my friends? Come on in and lets get comfy by the fire!


Hippie Bowman

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Try the tricks that you have learned in RL.  Go to a place that looks interesting, or an event where you might enjoy the music.  Or search for a group that sounds promising ... a shared interest maybe.  Then read profiles of people around you to see who they are and what they enjoy.  And strike up a conversation.  "Hello!   I'm new here.  I notice in your profile that you enjoy basketry.   So do I.  Are there good places to see cool baskets in SL?"   The things to avoid are the same ones you would avoid in RL -- don't be a jerk and you'll be OK

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@Dronejoe,

Welcome to Second Life!  And welcome to the Forums that are a fun adjunct to SL. A lot of us have actually made friends right here, in addition to making friends in world...so don't be a stranger!

Rolig's advice is spot on, but there are a few peculiarities about SL that may bear discussing as well.

  • Try speaking first in Nearby Chat.  Many people consider a person to person IM to be more personal, and jumping right to IM can be viewed as impolite...sort of like hugging a person you have never met before.
  • Don't be offended if people you speak to don't respond.  Some may indeed be too stuck up to talk to the newcomer, but they may also be away from keyboard (AFK) or tied up in IM conversations with other people, or working in another window on their computer.  If I am working on building something, I go into a trance and completely tune out everything else.  My ex-partners used to tease me about this.
  • Remember to be close enough to be heard.  Local chat text can't be "heard" beyond 20 meters; if a person's nametag fades out or becomes invisible, you are out of nearby chat range.  (IMs, on the other hand, are like a phone call.  Their range is unlimited.)
  • Do NOT simply run by people and hit them with an unsolicited Friends request.  This is seen as VERY impolite by most residents.
  • Don't just say "Hi" and then wait for a response.  As Rolig says, make your first communication meaningful, and one that invites a response.
  • Don't make your first query "A/S/L?" (Age, Sex, Location?), or indeed any request for Real Life information.  While some of us do share RL info with our close friends, a great many people in SL wish to NOT bring Real Life into SL, especially with those they don't know well.  One way to politely seek RL info is to offer a bit yourself.  For example, instead of asking "Where are you from?", try "I'm from Uzbekistan...you?"
  • If you have been chatting with someone for a while, and the two of you seem to be hitting it off, you can ask, "May I add you as a friend?"  If they say yes, then right click them and choose Add/As Friend.
  • Asking for help with SL is one good way to meet people.  Especially if you do so in one of the newcomer help areas, like Caledon Oxbridge University, New Resident Island, NCI, or Firestorm Help Island.
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8 hours ago, Dronejoe said:

Hi, Newbie here. 

Looking to make some friends. Not sure how to go about it. I don't know if I can just post a simple "Hello World" in the Nearby chat box or if I need to do some amazing fly-by's to get attention. I think just a simple hi and fun conversation is always a good way to start. :-)! 

Welcome to Second Life, Joe! (May I call you Joe?)

Rolig and Lindal have given excellent advice. You can put that advice into practice at one of Hippie Bowman's Sunday breakfasts. You'll find a link to the in-world group here...

https://my.secondlife.com/groups/adf67d17-9017-6f09-02ee-bd0db569302e?username=hippie.bowman

Clicking on "View group info in the Viewer sidebar" will launch the viewer (if it's not already running) and bring up a window where you can join the group. You'll then get notices and landmarks for each Sunday's breakfast, which happens at 8AM SLT (California time).

 

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48 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

Clicking on "View group info in the Viewer sidebar" will launch the viewer (if it's not already running) and bring up a window where you can join the group. You'll then get notices and landmarks for each Sunday's breakfast, which happens at 8AM SLT (California time).

 

While I'm perfectly happy with calling it California time, Maddy, it's also used by Nevada, Washington, almost all of Oregon (a smallish state north of us full of surly people who tend to drive too slow) and even part of Idaho.

The official name is Pacific Standard Time. 

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11 minutes ago, Dillon Levenque said:

Oregon (a smallish state north of us full of surly people who tend to drive too slow)

Dem's fightin werds. 2804-1300690941.gif.5a503168d9bef91a7d89c8304fc38e57.gif

Funny thing is Oregon is about the friendliest state I've lived in and I've lived in a few other states. Most people here break the speed limit all day long. I can't afford to pay even one speeding ticket so I don't haul ass every where I go. 

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I knew I'd fetch at least one of ya with that remark :-). Having been cruelly  victimized by many Oregonians in the course of multiple work visits in that state, I seldom fail to get a dig of my own in when given the chance. Oregonians once even had bumper stickers saying "Don't Californicate Oregon", long before The Red Hot Chili Peppers ever shared a garage. 

Truth is these days if you find me in Oregon it'll typically be somewhere east of Highway 97, on two-lane roads where I tend to drive even slower than the affable small-town locals.

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1 hour ago, Dillon Levenque said:

I knew I'd fetch at least one of ya with that remark :-). Having been cruelly  victimized by many Oregonians in the course of multiple work visits in that state, I seldom fail to get a dig of my own in when given the chance. Oregonians once even had bumper stickers saying "Don't Californicate Oregon", long before The Red Hot Chili Peppers ever shared a garage. 

Truth is these days if you find me in Oregon it'll typically be somewhere east of Highway 97, on two-lane roads where I tend to drive even slower than the affable small-town locals.

I'm not from Oregon... now I gotta look at a map. 88129982_shakefist.gif.929bc0a8072aac5cf7b0569c3e6a8f77.gif

Oh... wrong side of the Cascades for me. :P

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Happy Friday Everyone!  Welcome to Second Life Joe (no advice just be kind to all you meet, and don't take any wooden nickels!  Which means be cautious in one's dealings)

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Going to celebrate tonight by watching the original Bachelor Party movie starring a very young Tom Hanks.  Great music from the the 80's too.   Say what you will about his dramatic roles (Forrest Gump, Green Mile, Saving Private Ryan) his early movies (Splash, Bachelor Party, and Money Pit) are very very funny! 

Special thanks to Rolig and Maddy for helping me embrace winter and a gift for you below😁  There is a beauty in a winter landscape for sure!

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55 minutes ago, Jameson2001 said:

There is a beauty in a winter landscape for sure!

Years ago, I woke to find a winter wonderland outside my window. The wind had blown in off the lake, plastering the east side of every tree with a beautiful thick layer of snow. The coverage was so complete that the trees blended into the western sky so well it was hard to see where the trees ended and the sky began. I ran outside to find the highest vantage point from which to observe this, and was rewarded with a view I'll never forget. It was disorienting, I really couldn't tell where the horizon was.

And it was sooooo quiet. Anyone who's experienced a snowfall knows the silence it brings, and how that intensifies the beauty around you. It's as if nature said "Everybody shush now, and look at what I've made for you."

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6 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

And it was sooooo quiet. Anyone who's experienced a snowfall knows the silence it brings, and how that intensifies the beauty around you. It's as if nature said "Everybody shush now, and look at what I've made for you."

This is one of the best parts about winter. I love getting out to walk in fresh show.  It is like having the ground covered with feathers -- a natural muffler, soaking up all of the little sounds and leaving only the sound of the wind.  Years ago, I wrote

First Snowfall

The sound of snow

Arriving on slippered feet,

Padding softly on the lawn,

Delights me

Even though the blinds are closed

And I am still half in the pillows.

It is an empty fullness,

A whisper,

A hushed anticipation.

I hear it past the soft creaking

Of the house awaking

And the distant murmur of wind in the oaks,

Past the tapping of nuthatches

And the morning call of chickadees.

An old friend has come again,

Begging silently to show me

The world in her new coat.

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4 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

Begging silently to show me

The world in her new coat.

Wonderful Rolig, the ending is exactly right.

I love songs that capture the magic of snow. Here's one...


There's a line in the song I think about when walking the paths in my woods, under saplings that bow under the weight of new fallen snow...

"Oh, the branches of every tree bend like a cathedral over me."

It's easy to understand why people would draw that analogy, but the trees were there first. It's the cathedral that bends over us like the branches of winter trees.

Monkey see, monkey do.

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44 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

And the morning call of chickadees.

I won't remember to retell the story when spring comes, but there are large viburnums (Breakfastius Dinerium, I think))  below my bedroom window, where little birdies gather in spring for coffee and donuts hours before I'm ready to wake up. I know it's called the "dawn chorus", but gossip is not song.

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1 minute ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

I won't remember to retell the story when spring comes, but there are large viburnums (Breakfastius Dinerium, I think))  below my bedroom window, where little birdies gather in spring for coffee and donuts hours before I'm ready to wake up. I know it's called the "dawn chorus", but gossip is not song.

It's another of the joys of a woodsy life. I have lived for short times in suburbs and have visited in cites all over the world, but it's hard to hear the world from places like that.  I love the quiet times when I can eavesdrop on those gossiping birds and listen to the wind in the trees.  

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8 hours ago, Jameson2001 said:

There is a beauty in a winter landscape for sure!

A winter landscape is definitely fabulous - as long as it stays the hell off the roads anytime I have to drive.  There are way too many folks in Colorado these days that have not spent near enough time mastering the art of driving in winter conditions.

Edited by LittleMe Jewell
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1 hour ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

A winter landscape is definitely fabulous - as long as it stays the hell off the roads anytime I have to drive.  There are way too many folks in Colorado these days that have not spent near enough time mastering the art of driving in winter conditions.

The best snowstorms are those that close I-43, so I can cross country ski on it. I can't remember the last time that happened, and I can't wait for the next time it happens.

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8 hours ago, Lia Sharpshire said:

Hello, I'm Lia and enjoy making friends ^^ been in SL for 9yrs just came back from a break of 4 yrs hope to make new friends since I've returned.

Welcome back Lia. Make yourself at home here around the fire. And happy Tuesday everyone!

 

Peace!

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