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How can you tell if someone is male or female?

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I suppose that inevitably, individual phobias, religious beliefs or personal taste are going to affect “who prefers to do whatever with whomever”.

Second Life has been helpful to me because it opened my eyes a bit more to a broader view of the world. It presented me with the notion that people can be interesting, attractive and even sexy based on what their brain transmits to the keyboard and not on any social, racial, gender or Other demographic.

Not everyone wants to broaden their horizons, which is their privilege. I don’t have to live their life; I only have to live mine - and I mess that one up frequently enough :-)

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Edited by AmandaKeen
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On 5/18/2018 at 2:19 AM, Bradford Mint said:

At this point Marth, there is insufficient information from which to deduce but based on a previous post of mine, I don't care, nor am I seeking to find out. Over a sufficient dialogue however, there are other factors which can provide a fingerprint. Men (typically) have a different writing style from women, the choice of words, phrasing, conveyance of emotions etc.

I wouldn't suggest that it's infallible, any more than education about such techniques is knowledge of how to defeat them but it's no different to sales tricks which use crafted phrases to influence, people who are alert to such can spot traits.

General advice though is that if you're bothered about the reality, don't play the game!

Years ago, one of the forum regulars was a fella who's displays of misogyny and arrogance annoyed quite a few of us. He routinely lauded his own ability to induce emotional outbursts in females. Curiously, he was not able to raise my temperature and I was, on occasion and without undue effort, able to drive him off the rails. On a whim, I started pasting his screeds into one of those online gender guessers. He routinely measured as "female". I then started pasting in my own. I routinely measured as "male".

Although I believe the gender guesser was wrong on both counts, I won't discount it entirely. I once role-played a male in an IRC chatroom and got a much better reception than I ever did as Maddy. During my one-and-only SL fling, it seemed to me I might have had better results as a male, or better options for worse results.

Knowing how easy it is for me to present as any gender I please, I see no point in trying to ascertain the gender of anyone else here. You all are as smart as I and, though you don't advertise it, I suspect you can be as nefarious. So go ahead and fool me. There's nothing like the nefarious machinations of intelligent people to keep my interest. If you're smart enough to take advantage of me while making me happy, that's just dandy. My happiness is all that counts.

;-).

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i live in the uk, we have many dialects prob as many as the eastern block countrys, and belive me us girls are no different to the lads, we write in chat sometimes the same as we speak, now im from the west midlands, which is north of Birmingham UK and we have two brummie and black-country, the term black-country is not a racist term but it derives from the area in the late 18th century, where we had a lot of iron smelting, and coal mining a due to the soot and we used to get a lot of dust which covers the area, also we have cockney (London), scouse(Liverpool), Geordie  (Newcastle up on Tyne) and Mancunian (Manchester), some times its difficult for me to understand them having said that here is a bit of how i talk and im a female yom a bosta me wench, translated, is your are a very good looking girl, or put kettle on cocker om bosting for a gup o tay, which means im thirsty can i have a cup of tea , so dont worry male or female we spake, sorry speak the same, all the best guys 

Edited by binder59
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I have met too many people IRL that are still unsure if they themselves are male or female.  How am I supposed to know over the internet and why should I care?

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On 6/2/2018 at 6:04 AM, binder59 said:

i live in the uk, we have many dialects prob as many as the eastern block countrys, and belive me us girls are no different to the lads, we write in chat sometimes the same as we speak, now im from the west midlands, which is north of Birmingham UK and we have two brummie and black-country, the term black-country is not a racist term but it derives from the area in the late 18th century, where we had a lot of iron smelting, and coal mining a due to the soot and we used to get a lot of dust which covers the area

I recall reading that there are efforts to preserve the Black Country dialect, which is wonderful. Reading about its history, and its influences, it certainly should not be lost as some other dialects have.

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On 6/4/2018 at 4:19 AM, Stephanie Misfit said:

I recall reading that there are efforts to preserve the Black Country dialect, which is wonderful. Reading about its history, and its influences, it certainly should not be lost as some other dialects have.

thank you

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18 minutes ago, Derekmate said:

And do we know how to tell if somebody have a fufu or a dingaling? 

How do you know in RL? More to the point, why should you??

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18 hours ago, LexxiXhan said:

How do you know in RL? More to the point, why should you??

Most of the time I use my eyes or touching if it's allowed. Combination of this to make the trick. 

And the why? Well if I hope to have a faerie cave to my dingaling. And it's make me sad if turn out that the other party  mamber have the same thing what I bring to the party. 

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How to tell if someone is male or female: Ask them...

If you choose to believe or not, that's up to you. Why would you need prove? If its for a relationship, well if someone does not trust me on my word there's no base for a relationship anyway.

 

Edited by Zeta Vandyke
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I thought that the point of SL was to be...well...a second life! Surely it isn't relevant what gender someone is in RL and it should only depend on what they choose to be whilst online? Or maybe I'm innocent and naïve about this!

I'm female and chose to have a female avi in SL; but I've friends in SL who have male, female and 'other' avi's; I treat the them as the gender that they are in a particular avi. As long as everyone is happy then surely there is no problem!

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It always tickles me how many people (almost always guys, let's be honest here) are so focused on the "accuracy" of another avatar's gender... but nothing else.

Your average non-new SL avatar is a hyper-attractive, often hyper-sexed, liberated perfect specimen in their 20s, around a foot taller than the average for their gender. Some of us might actually be the correct age, might even have the same hair/eye/skin colours, but we're all "lying" with our avatars to some extent.

To ignore all of that, with the sole exception of gender, is pretty funny.

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pretty simple: by opening your eyes, take it what you see... and not giving a flying EFF if that´s resembling their RL or not xD

oh and I scrolled through the ancient beast that is this thread to make sure I haven´t comented before (...I didn´t see any post of mine but... I´m stupid-blind at times and yeah xD) - I guess the british slang term mate isn´t as well known as I thought it would be...(hm.) I use it myself and I happen to be female in...most lives (I do have 3 male PNPChars but that´s it)

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when i don t wanted skype with my friend(he said i should proof that my pics are my pics).he called me woman with big boobs...:D

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There are a large number of avatars with breasts, and *****es, I am pretty sure in almost every case the person behind the avi does not have both.

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In the average joe's head, how do you figure out if she is female:

  • Ask for pictures.

If she refuse, she's a man.

If she accept:

  • Ask for more pictures, voice, cam and/or nudes.

If she refuse, she's a man.

If she accept:

  • Ask to be her boyfriend.

If she refuse or claims to be in a relationship, she's a *****, post gathered pictures online with attached slurs.

 

You see where I'm going with this.

Edited by Kyrah Abattoir
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Guess if the average joe is afraid of role playing with a male as female, then the average joe should stay away from sl.
Even in bars it's not 100% guaranteed, but at least is very less likely. If they meet the woman of their dreams and find out she is a post-op trans, I know they would leave her. But that, in my view, is the worng way of thinking (others may disagree at will).
Another thing the average joe should learn is that most people come here to rp. To experience what they can't in rl. To give a touch of reality to some dreams (even if virtually). If they can't live with that. Well, don't come to sl.
If someone chooses to rp as a woman in sl, in sl they are a woman. The same way someone chooses to rp as a furry or something else.
Ultimately, sl is like a drug that lets me be want I desire (no lucifer needed) 9_9

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First you should ask yourself what do you want out of your SL. If you just want it as a place to escape from your RL for a brief moment and only use SL for RP purposes....should gender matter? If you are thinking about turning your SL romance into RL I think you should have a right to know...at least that would be a respectful thing to do. Me personally I am a female and really do not care what the RL sex of an individual I am interacting with is. However, my RL partner who is also on SL which is a Male; he does care even if it is just for RP purposes. So with that being said: Its your preference. Don't be afraid to ask if you do want to know. But also be careful of what you ask and ask yourself 'do I really want to know the answer?'

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2 hours ago, Kyrah Abattoir said:

You see where I'm going with this.

For added amusement .. Joe (a straight cis male) has a female avatar.

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4 hours ago, AngelSkyLuv said:

First you should ask yourself what do you want out of your SL. If you just want it as a place to escape from your RL for a brief moment and only use SL for RP purposes....should gender matter? If you are thinking about turning your SL romance into RL I think you should have a right to know...at least that would be a respectful thing to do. Me personally I am a female and really do not care what the RL sex of an individual I am interacting with is. However, my RL partner who is also on SL which is a Male; he does care even if it is just for RP purposes. So with that being said: Its your preference. Don't be afraid to ask if you do want to know. But also be careful of what you ask and ask yourself 'do I really want to know the answer?'

I would think that for a person playing the opposite gender in SL to truly have the full "experience" of being that opposite gender, the person they are dealing with must believe that they are the same gender in both worlds. So, ask away, but you will never know if you are getting an honest answer.

But to be fair, the person playing the opposite gender should make it clear right from the start that any romance that might develop is and will forever be, restricted to sl only.

Besides, "what is your rl sex?" is only the first question. And one lie can be followed by as many lies as there are questions asked.

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Actually, in RL most recently - gender is subject to “what gender do you identify as?”......

So maybe the SL complexity question might be;

“If you are OK with me asking about your RL, What is your RL Biological Gender, what gender do you Identify as in RL, and is your SL avatar consistent with your RL?” 

Interrogation  to be Followed by;

”Because if you are in RL as you are here, I would like to have you over for sexxorz”.

Wow, when written out, that was even more crass than I imagined :-)

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21 minutes ago, AmandaKeen said:

Wow, when written out, that was even more crass than I imagined :-)

... and still a cut above some of the random I'ms I've had from guys TODAY .... seem's to be in influx of eastern European / Russian guys and they are hella blunt.

Oh, and this one creep who just says that he's "proud of me" ... whatever the f*** he means by that.

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25 minutes ago, CoffeeDujour said:

... and still a cut above some of the random I'ms I've had from guys TODAY .... seem's to be in influx of eastern European / Russian guys and they are hella blunt.

Oh, and this one creep who just says that he's "proud of me" ... whatever the f*** he means by that.

Get this.....I had this guy proposition me in rather dodgy Russian-English - completely out of the blue. He was offering a DJ gig at his club in exchange for Cyber on a weekly basis....he had a PLAN for this all worked out....

When I replied in Google Russian that I was not Interested in becoming a kept-woman and found him to be very Uncultured, I got a response in plain English. He said that he was only role playing and was actually from San Mateo and liked my Flickr stream. 

I tried to politely explain that it’s only “Roleplay” if both of you know you’re doing a scene....otherwise it’s “lying”. Unfortunately he was suffering from some kind of situation that had the Typist solely focused on the sexxorz (I’m assuming testosterone poisoning but might be wrong) and they didn’t see my point.

That concept kinda ties in with a couple of current forum threads :-)

Its a big, confusing grid....

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Edited by AmandaKeen
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4 hours ago, AmandaKeen said:

I tried to politely explain that it’s only “Roleplay” if both of you know you’re doing a scene....otherwise it’s “lying”. Unfortunately he was suffering from some kind of situation that had the Typist solely focused on the sexxorz (I’m assuming testosterone poisoning but might be wrong) and they didn’t see my point.

I can also agree that this example isn't Role-Playing, coming from 10+ years of Role-playing experience and now retired.

Like Acting, it's not something that is to be done out of the blue. Keanue Reaves isn't John Wick 100% of the time.

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On 6/5/2018 at 7:26 PM, Derekmate said:

And do we know how to tell if somebody have a fufu or a dingaling? 

i dont think u can to be honest unless you can read minds, the beauty of sl is that, unless you are told by the person then you will not know, unless you know the person in rl, rp if someone wants to be ie male or female is totally based on the role they play, a lot of people here would prob want to keep there real id private because of there circumstances in rl, its about trust and having trust, in someone, its a catch 22 question, im not a religious person, but does god exist, no one knows for sure, unless they have seen him or her,  its a great question tho, to be honest i would not worry about it, i dont care who or what gender they are in rl or sl, as friends are friends at the end of the day, thats all that matters to me personaly

 

Edited by binder59
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