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How can you tell if someone is male or female?

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"2. When people arrive at a new space, like a prospective rental or a concert, most of the time, the female who is really a female in real life sits down. She wants to get a feel for the place as a home, she cams around to see if she can tolerate the camera angles and views, she wants to get settled.

.." See, this is the stuff that gets to me. I'm female in SL and RL and I do no such thing. I tp in, step away from the landing point to rezz, and if people are dancing, I start dancing, if I'm shopping, I start shopping. Nesting? really? In 2011?"

 Wise old proverb say : Man who worries too much about if girl is real girl in unreal world can't find real girl in real life

So.. is a guy who sits down gay ? ..Oh dear  

Clearly the person writing that hasn't much experience of SL or RL..Of the million plus visitors to my sim over the three years I can't recal any patern of sitting confined to one gender or the other. Smart people ( Yes maybe mostly girls ) sit on a chair to move fast away from a crowd on landing  but I know many men who use the same trick too. Or were they sock puppets of RL Girls or ....or.. Gee... Get a life lol

I've studies behavior in sl for years and I can't think of one rule that applies to all members of any one group. Most men refuse to sit on a floor cushion in case it has a fem sit but certianly not all and i know men who sit on them to make a point.

Just aviod men wearing big axes on thier backs, a sure sign of insecurities....in most cases..~cough

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A close male friend of mine set up a female avi and for a while managed to pull this off until he was getting pixel bumpy with a girl and she asked him if he was a man in rl. He admitted he was and when he asked how she'd guessed, she told him he used certain words way too much. He couldn't react sexually as a woman because he wasnt one, and I think took his cues from very bad 70s porn films lol

 

 

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Finora Kuncoro wrote:


Siobhan Taylor wrote:

There's also the enormous community of transgendered people in SL, many of whom have avatars of the gender they are becoming... and some of whom still display traits associated with the gender they are leaving behind... In this case, voice just confuses the issue.

In the end, as people have said, unless you're after a RL relationship with someone, it's best to treat someone as if they are the avatar.

Sio

That is a really good point. 

I have a number of TG friends and for most of them SL is a way to explore who they are becoming.  In addition I know that in some unfortunate cases SL is the only outlet available to them.  RL prejudice and discrimination against TG peoples is very pronounced in some parts of the USA and Canada. 

Finora and Siobhan,

 There is a large TG community in SL and the reasons you suggest are quite valid, in my opinion. I would point out that a whole lot of TG's aren't really 'becoming' anything, though. For everyone who actually goes all the way to the change there are certainly hundreds probably thousands that never will, including a great many who live as females 24/7 in RL. For many, just slipping into the role is enough. And the almost complete, not just acceptance of but really indifference to, transgender in SL is a wonderful thing. By indifference I mean that other than situations that might involve intimacy I can go anywhere and talk to anyone without the slightest feeling of being somehow 'different'. That's very nice, to say the least.

@Ossian: Kegels? What a loon he was to ask that. I started doing those after my first 'ride-along' to the Lamaze class. It's not quite the same set of muscles but it's the same exercise and it's quite helpful with um, self control.

I always enjoy these threads. It seems to be a never-ending topic; they keep showing up.

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@Dillon etc: May I suggest that you might do better in future posts not to use 'TG' to indicate 'TransGender' as it is the abbreviation generally used in SL for 'Teen Grid' - and the possibilities for misunderstanding, particularly on these forums which are open to all SL participants, is significant.

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Cato Badger wrote:

@Dillon etc: May I suggest that you might do better in future posts not to use 'TG' to indicate 'TransGender' as it is the abbreviation generally used in SL for 'Teen Grid' - and the possibilities for misunderstanding, particularly on these forums which are open to all SL participants, is significant.

Huh. Never thought of that. That will be difficult; it's the standard term. But I'll try to remember. It doesn't come up in the conversation here that often anyway (except in threads like these).

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Ossian wrote:

Once a guy asked me what a kegel was.  That was his test of my RL gender.

He didn't realize that his test would make him a RL woman as well.

Not to mention that kegel / pubococcygeal muscle exercises can (and should!) also be performed by men. It has a variety of benefits, but the only one that I can mention in this forum is prevention of incontinence in later life.

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Ishtara wrote:

Not to mention that kegel / pubococcygeal muscle exercises can (and should!) also be performed by men. It has a variety of benefits, but the only one that I can mention in this forum is prevention of incontinence in later life.

Thank you for letting me know the name of the muscles involved. And I think I skated as close to talking about the benefits in my earlier post as I could. Not that preventing incontinence is not a benefit.:smileywink:

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my inventory count is low compared to others, less than 6000 items, I do not sit when I get to a place to feel the homey feeling like some poster said, but why so many looking for clue words and stuff, what is wrong with voice or web cams,

If someone asks me to voice I do, it is funny how sometimes, people has doubts but they do not ask you to voice, because they do not want to voice, if someone really feels like they need to know who is Sidney, well thats is what skype cam call is for, after all, they can call me and check it out, no problem, now again, that usually shows they are hiding something themselves, because when I offer to web cam, so they can have a peace of mind, a percetage finds an excuse not to do it, so why they ask for tests in the first place, weird really

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Prokofy Neva wrote:

Here's how I can tell, usually 100 percent of the time:

5. Computer programmer. While there are a tiny percentage of females in this very male enclave and always a few will show up huffily in a thread like this to claim it isn't a male enclave, in fact we all know it is. So if your date has *edited for mature content*, races all over a territory, and has like "AWGroupies" in her groups and loves going to the bug triage office hours, unless you like soul-mating, this is not the date for you.

Prokofy! I am that tiny percent and now I feel obligated to to point out that it isn't -entirely- a male enclave.   Ok.  It mostly is.  I am usually the only woman on the teams I work on, but damnit..that doesn't make me a man here!

Was that huffily enough?

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It is difficult.  I sometimes get a suspicion that someone is perhaps not the gender of their avatar, but, in the end, it doesn't matter to me. IF they want to be a guy or a girl, then that's what they are in sl. I have av's of both sex, and I play whichever I feel like at the time. Not sure whether I'm convincing as the wrong gender, but no one's ever called me on it, probably because they feel the same way as I do. A friend, a guy, who plays girls but admits openly on his profile that he is a guy,  once told me that one way to test if a girl is a guy is to start talking about shoes. He says no man knows how to talk about shoes....unless, I suppose, he's gay or a TV! I've not tried it out myself though

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There is even sadder news on the profession/hobby used as an indication. I read a survey of users of a 3D CG software package and it is overwhelmingly males that took the survey. You could argue the females didn't need any help or tutorials and never came accross the site...my suspicions are you can also look at the choices of what gets modelled and shown in gallaries etc. It is game stuff, sci-fi, women, and...well, yeah stereo typical guy stuff and work based stuff lol. So, I keep on thinking many devs who make sculpties in 3D progs must be guys to.

But, SL is a bit odd! If we are to use stereotypes...well, it is full of dolls! AND, you can dress them up and have another social life full of all kinds of stereotypical things! I mean, you can even get kitchens and make believe bake! Heck, you can gossip via IM's with several people, put on new clothes to make some other avatar feel less sexy than you and try to steal the attention of her guy avatar fake ...wowowo...wiat...HUSBANDS! Surely, if marriage is here it MUST be a very welcome place to the stereotypical female. So, if there was ever a stereotypical female who programmed...I mean, how could she resist being here! So, really, if stereotypes are to be used....wouldn't SL be the one place you would expect to find female programmers hanging out?

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Maybe the forum change was a good thing after all. For this to be the only thread on this subject that I've seen and for the majority of the responses to indicate that there are more well adjusted people answering than space cadets is wonderful. It sure wasn't like that before.

All I know is that these threads have become reminders of just how lazy and arrogant the human race has become. That's all stereotypes are. Lazy attempts to shortcut spending the time it take to get to know someone by throwing them into a box of predictability. As if the person doing the judging simply lacks the ability or whatever courage it takes to be surprised, or to adapt to the new. Or overestimates the weight of their own tiny pool of experience.

I remember when it used to annoy me that people tried to base who I am on generalizations such as the ones in this thread. Then I remembered that defying almost all of them for the entirety of my life was all the proof I've ever needed that I've succeeded in becoming and remaining my own person who had a lot of loving exposure to learning experiences, and took advantage of them. And I rejoice.

Solar Legion is right. You won't know unless you're told, or you meet, or you take the time to know them well enough to figure it out. Someone else said every woman is different, and that was right too. You need to let people teach you how to treat them. If you're not prepared to celebrate their individuality but instead want to mistrust and suspect it, then what's the point of being here of all places?

(Mother. Avid football, tennis, martial arts, and motorcycle lover. Programmer and graphic designer. Navy daughter and sister to three brothers. Loudmouth. Change my own spark plugs. Won't ever buy you a tie on your birthday. Well, because it's lame. Like obligatory flowers.)

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SL is a virtual playground for people, it is a sim, a roleplaying game.

A game that you can act and play as yourself or someone else.

Unless the user slips up bad, it is hard to tell.

This remark "mate" may not be a strong enough indication.

I would not try to test that person, that is rude and wasted effort on having fun...just enjoy the game, if you have second thoughts on this person:

1. do not socialize with that person; or

2. keep socializing, but do not get too close and personal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I agree with Caty,

I don't know so well if a woman is playing guy, but I usually can spot a guy playing woman during general chat and way they respond.  

Never used the term "mate" in way said.  Althoogh do use that term when talking about mating or my "true" mate.  *smile*

Can always turn to talking about babies.  A guy invariably gets off that topic as quickly as he/she can.  haha.  Apart from causing them, they have very little knowledge of what we then go through.  

Which reminds me,  must replace my diaphram tonight.

xox   Ruffles 

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I have a point of view where it's like, I don't want to know.  I am interested in the avatar and the avatar alone.  I don't want to meet in rl, just want to get my rocks on sl. I really don't want to be thinking if the girl I am with is really a guy because that will freak me out, so I never ask and I don't think about it all.  That's just me.  For me, on sl I am more int the muscular women avatars, so in that world it gets a little dicey since most of them are professed "lesbians" because most of the places that they hang out out treat male avatars like garbage.  So I know, alright some of them have to be guys because there is no way there is that many female admirers of muscular women, just not statistically possibly.  But I'm not going to ask or make a case of it, although I assume that the ones who charge for services are likely guys, but I can not confirm or deny.

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Marvolo Ferrentino wrote:

I have a point of view where it's like, I don't want to know.  I am interested in the avatar and the avatar alone.  I don't want to meet in rl, just want to get my rocks on sl. I really don't want to be thinking if the girl I am with is really a guy because that will freak me out, so I never ask and I don't think about it all.  That's just me.  For me, on sl I am more int the muscular women avatars, so in that world it gets a little dicey since most of them are professed "lesbians" because most of the places that they hang out out treat male avatars like garbage.  So I know, alright some of them have to be guys because there is no way there is that many female admirers of muscular women, just not statistically possibly.  But I'm not going to ask or make a case of it, although I assume that the ones who charge for services are likely guys, but I can not confirm or deny.

Unless statistically SL draws more people who are at the extreme edge of the curve.

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I am biologically male IRL, feel transgendered, but cant exactly afford an operation. I  am an avid roleplayer and usually play a female. SL is my outlet to be the beautiful woman I feel I was meant to be. Furthermore, I am only interested in females IRL, but I am willing to RP erotically with borh gendera id/when the Rp calls for it.

I dont mind telling people this, really, but I consider it rude to be demanded to provide voice verification of feminity. I am not actively seeking a relationship, considering I dont do long distance nor do women exist anywhere near me who find me attractive or desireable, nor care for my gender identity, sexuality notwithstanding. My avi is the INNER me, which is all that matters at the end of the day.

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Lily Kanashimi wrote:

I am biologically male IRL, feel transgendered, but cant exactly afford an operation. I  am an avid roleplayer and usually play a female. SL is my outlet to be the beautiful woman I feel I was meant to be. Furthermore, I am only interested in females IRL, but I am willing to RP erotically with borh gendera id/when the Rp calls for it.

I dont mind telling people this, really, but I consider it rude to be demanded to provide voice verification of feminity. I am not actively seeking a relationship, considering I dont do long distance nor do women exist anywhere near me who find me attractive or desireable, nor care for my gender identity, sexuality notwithstanding. My avi is the INNER me, which is all that matters at the end of the day.

Superbly necroposted!

I'll make it really easy for you to determine who is what in SL.  I am the only 100% true female in Second Life and in real life, although my real life brother says I am a very tomboyish girl.  I had dolls, with which I did not play, and my brother made hotpants for one of them.

My avatar, Echo, actually started out as a male avatar, because my main avatar was female and this one was an alt, and I wanted to see what it was like in a virtual world to be male but then Echo found a fairy costume for a while, and after that a blonde wig and this is who I've been ever since.

*****

Just be you, whoever you want to be, in Second Life.  If you can keep a relationship in Second Life and not ruin it by taking it to real life, you can be a very fulfilled person, of male or female gender, or anything in between. Just be happy and true to your inner self.

As for those who demand or require you to provide RL proof of your gender, walk away from them. They have some real issues going on - ie do not want to admit that they are probably homosexual or bi, but are fighting with their macho urges.

 

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I was with a shemale lover onetime and the first time i was going to ummm.... pleasure her, I asked if she was cut or uncut (yes it does make a difference in how you play with them), and I  love detail.

 

She answered by looking at her avi and saying looks cut to me.

 

A rl guy would have told me what was between his rl legs :)

 

My apologies if this post is too graphic for this forum.

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1. If the person 'looked at their avi' and told you what they saw instead of what was in rl...seems to me you have your answer, in which case, why ask the forum. 

2. You said you were going to pleasure 'her" so at that point it sounds like you were interested in the she part of the shemale so your question is irrelevant.

3. This is a virtual world...what difference does it make what gender someone is unless it henders the role play...in which case, if you don't like the skill of the player, move on.

I could be wrong, but i believe you can determine the gender the person signed up in SL with initially by the little symbol shown on a mini-map and perhaps elsewhere. That doesn't mean the person designated their real gender to begin with but usually I would think most people do. The bottom line is, you can't tell what actual gender anyone is in a virtual world. If you want actual 'truth in advertising' then go rl.

5. If you weren't attempting to shock, then all the question needed to be is, "how do i tell the rl gender of an avatar." There was no reason to go into detail...

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IceaRina wrote:

 

I could be wrong, but i believe you can determine the gender the person signed up in SL with initially by the little symbol shown on a mini-map and perhaps elsewhere. That doesn't mean the person designated their real gender to begin with but usually I would think most people do. The bottom line is, you can't tell what actual gender anyone is in a virtual world. If you want actual 'truth in advertising' then go rl.

 

Welcome to the bear pit that is the Second Life Forums.

The little symbol shown on a mini-map does not show anything about gender.  Little green dots mean other avatars, little dark blue dots (rarely seen) are the Linden officials, green "v" shapes mean the avatar is below you, upside down "v" shapes mean the avatar is above you. 

And yes, if people want absolute truth in who or what they are playing with, RL is the best place to be.

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Superfan:

 

Guys playing female roles in SL has become more common . For females it's less common playing a male.   It sometimes is easy to tell based on their profile (no voice, no cam, no pics)..or noting in their profile at all even though they've been here for a while.  Others flower things up a little.  Some guys are just honest and say they are a RP female, but most aren't because they've caught a lot of flack...Some want to dress up...and just be a woman...kinda makes one wonder when pixel sex in involved...(man on man in the real world).  In SL they are what they want to be, in  the real world is another story.  Some may be bisexual..some are married....others crossdressers (and this let's them do the woman thing safely) and others want to score a chick so they go lesbian.  It is sad that one can't be open and honest about this but that's SL.  When in doubt - voice.  Yes they can morph their voices now but I think you need to pay a fee for that and most wouldn't.   Hope this helps..

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