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How can you tell if someone is male or female?


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*****

I have been looking for the right place in these new forums to ask how you can tell if someone is really male or female because I met someone on Saturday night and although she said she was female she called me 'Mate' which worried me.

*****

Is it normal to role play a different sex and is it rude not to tell people when you are?

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Tonight I am having the chicken korma that has been in the slow cooker since this morning since I didn;t want to waste any time cooking when Villa are on the tele. I;ll put a couple of keema nans in the toaster to have with it.

**********

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You can't unless you meet them in RL... and occasionally (but rarely) even then.

Yes it is normal in SL to RP a different gender then your actual one. If your only relationship with them is an RP sim you shouldn't assume any information your get is RL information. They could be portraying a character completely different then themselves.

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You could ask.

You could visit regions with voice. Read a residents profile. There are SL dating/matching services. You can add likes or dislikes to your profile. You could post a classified add. You could open a clothing store and give points for complaints and the avatar with the most points is more than likely what you're looking for. 

 

 

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Unless someone chooses to reveal their sex/gender to you, this real life information is not actually any of your business.

 

If you place in the real life section of your profile, that this is a particular hang up of your's, and someone chooses to be in an...er...romantic relationship with you, then it would be rude (but not TOS violating) to deceive you on this issue.   But some people are rude. 

 

On the other hand, some people might find your interest in their real life information intrusive and rude.  There will always be competing interests, and it's hoped that most of us can compromise in a way that allows everyone to be content.

 

I am female in real life and I call people mate from time to time (also "matey potatey").

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In some cases it can be difficult to tell in-world. Take Dragons, for example; unless we use an anthropomorphic shape with gender "clues", it can be difficult to know by looking.

Typically, it is polite just to observe for a bit to see if the Dragon reveals important gender clues in normal conversation. If you end up interacting and need to know to avoid feeling awkward, then simply ask. We're used to mammals not being able to figure it out anyway. ;)

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Don't be ridiculous! Why would I want to talk to a dragon of any sex. I'm not that delusional.

**********

Tonight I had the chicken korma that has been in the slow cooker since this morning since I didn;t want to waste any time cooking when Villa are on the tele. I;ll put a couple of keema nans in the toaster to have with it.

**********

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>> Is it normal to role play a different sex and is it rude not to tell people when you are? <<

Yes it is quite normal, and no it isn't rude. At least I don't care: unless for RL intimacy reasons, why would you want to know their RL gender anyways?:smileyindifferent: The character of the person behind the avatar is what counts most, not their look or age or gender or how many  X or Y chromosomes they have.

Plus, it's not others to decide that you "have to" disclose your RL gender anyways. It's entirely up to you what you tell about your RL. If  YOU wish to disclose your RL gender or other info about your RL, feel free to disclose it, but if you rather wish to keep it your secret, keep it your secret - and don't listen to those who want to force you.

RL=RL, SL=SL. It's entirely YOUR own decision if and what you share about each life in the other one.

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Normally, you can't. If it matters, ask.

However, they could make a mistake, such as when I was on my male alt (well, fellow alt) and said something like, "/me puts her glass down." Of course, that may have been more a case of thinking like I was primary, who's female, rather than my human, who's female.

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"Mate" is used equally by females as it is males in some parts of the globe.  One's RL gender can sometimes be determined by their texting and possibly interests and personality, but there will always be exceptions to the rule.

I honestly do not care what a person's RL gender is... or their SL gender.  I accept every avatar at face value and treat them accordingly and where appropriate, noting their avatar's gender (i.e. "Sir," or "Miss").  It just seems easier and also more respectful.

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The person could just as easily be Austrailian.

Anyways, when it comes to Roleplay, it really shouldn't matter, as it comes to talent more than anything else. I've seen blokes play ladies, ladies play blokes, both rather well.

Come to think about it, it really shouldn't matter in SL, period. But there's all those people trying to use it as Match.com with pretty dolls......

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I guess you can see from the replies that people are in SL for different things.

If your new friend's operator being male worries you, you might want to ask yourself what you are in SL for.  That answer will probably determine your tolerance (or not) for people being "different" here vs RL.

Personally I try to treat everyone with respect, consistent with their AV shape.  I have friends who openly admit they are the opposite sex RL and I have others who do not.  I respect those reasons and since I am not looking for SL to lead to any romantic tryst, that works for me.  Your mileage of course will vary.

 

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Behaviour, shape, sports liked in rl, language......all can indicate RL gender, but its seldom just one thing that gives gender away. And as long as somebody doesn't live cam with you, you will never be sure.

Just the word "mate" wouldn't be an indication for me, but if

-  (s)he tells you (s)he loves to play RL rugby and golf

- and loves to tune up cars

- and talks generally rude

- and her avi has huge boobs and lips

- and has all the latest technical gadgets

- and (s)he tells you in the first flirtation (s)he has a big wet **bleep** (and doesn't show a pic of a swimming lynx)........

You might wanna ask yourself if it really matters to you if the person behind the avi has the same gender as the avi :)

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If it truly is a hangup for you, you can ask the other player. If they do not wish to tell you, then it is prudent to back off and refrain from asking again or trying to figure it out.

I personally do not care what the gender of the player is - even if the RP turns erotic. I am not my character(s), and the same (usually) holds true for the other player.

Another issue that sometimes comes up is the orientation of the other player. I have actually met gay guys who play straight female characters. Amusingly enough, for ERP .... they are bloody good at it.

So to sum it up?

It truly does not matter what the gender or orientation of the player is - even if your own character is supposed to be a self-insert! The character still is not you, and the same should be true of the other player.

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Supperfan wrote:

*****

I have been looking for the right place in these new forums to ask how you can tell if someone is really male or female because I met someone on Saturday night and although she said she was female she called me 'Mate' which worried me.

*****

Is it normal to role play a different sex and is it rude not to tell people when you are?

**********

 

Rule nr 1 in Second Life: everybody lies.

There are no exceptions to this rule.

So, just lie along and enjoy the extended version of the Muppetshow!

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"Mate" is a normal thing for anyone to say, especially if they are British or Australian. It doesn't mean they are male, it may often mean that they think you are male.

It's quite normal for people to play avatars of the opposite sex. Or of both sexes. Or of no sex at all. And it's not rude to not say so. The only way to know for certain is to meet them in real life.

This is what SL is all about - be whatever you choose to be, for whatever reason you can imagine.

Real life identity belongs on facebook, not here.

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There's also the enormous community of transgendered people in SL, many of whom have avatars of the gender they are becoming... and some of whom still display traits associated with the gender they are leaving behind... In this case, voice just confuses the issue.

In the end, as people have said, unless you're after a RL relationship with someone, it's best to treat someone as if they are the avatar.

Sio

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"Is it normal to role play a different sex and is it rude not to tell people when you are?"

 

Actually I'm increasingly of the view that it's downright rude to ask anything not specifically stated in a person's profile.  I recall when this used to be SECOND life...and 'who you really are'  would be met with looks of blank bewilderment.

 

 

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