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Aislin Ceawlin

Question regarding Breaking the Fourth Wall thread

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How do you respond when someone you literally just met asks questions about your RL? I really don't want to be rude, but am usually flummoxed as to how to respond!! It goes something like this ... SOandSO Resident "Hi, where are you from? How old are you?"  Aislin Ceawlin ".........................................................................um......................................." lol! I'm totally not ashamed of my RL age, but like so many in the other thread, I like to reserve RL facts for those I have known for a long time, and trust. I just don't know how to respond without sounding snarky! :matte-motes-sarcasm:

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Well first, answering questions like that is not really a case of 'breaking the fourth wall', as someone pointed out in the original thread. In theater the Fourth Wall is the invisible one across the front of the stage (somewhere in the development of theater the idea of framing the stage developed—Google if you care; all I know is that it happened). The stage upon which the actors stand is surrounded. There's a backdrop and also (sometimes built-up scenery, called 'flats', sometimes just an open space) to 'wall' off the sides. Hence 'Exit, stage left'.  The imaginary Fourth Wall divides the drama from the audience and is normally never breached*, ie: the actors do not engage in conversation with the audience.

Thus, calling the sharing of RL in SL something regarding the Fourth Wall is a bit of a misnomer, but it does kind of represent the idea so I have no real problem with it.

In  your case, I can understand that you don't want to appear rude but you need to keep in mind that anyone who asks those questions is rude to begin with, so if you respond in kind it would not be inappropriate. As it happens, not everyone who does that realizes it's rude. So that makes them not rude intentionally, but still probably way uninformed and unobservant about what SL really is. In the other thread I said I'd answer "Where are you from?", with my general global location but in fact that only came later, because I realized it had to do with likely online times. At first I used to just say, "Help Island" because when I joined that's where I started. I was trying to make the point that my questioner was talking to my avatar and thus getting only my avatar's info. Most times they realized I wasn't going to answer the way they wanted and moved on. No loss on either side, and really no rudeness.

 

ETA the footnote I asterisked but forgot about.

*There are times when the Fourth Wall is deliberately breached for dramatic intent. One such lives only in my imagination, but I would love to see it happen. "The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg" has always seemed to me to be practically written for the stage. There are a handful of locations in which all of the action takes place; staging it would be a snap. In my imagined production the house deliberately leaves seats unsold, and those seats would be occupied by actors for the 'Town Hall' scene—they'd just come out from behind the stage, in costume, sit down and say 'hiya' to the people around them. One of said actors would of course be playing Jack Halliday, and at the appropriate moment shout, "THAT'S go the hall-mark on it!" to set off the festivities. The idea is to recruit the audience of the play to become the attendees in the 'Town Hall' scene that the play is going to portray. The audience would not only be speaking to the actors, but they would in fact become actors in the play themselves. I am much amused by imagining a crowd of people who don't really know each other at all, coming together to chant , "You are f-a-r from being a b-a-a-a-d man!".

 

Pardon my digression. A favorite. "The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg". Short story by Mark Twain. If you are not familiar with it I urge you to find and read it. An absolutely delightful work.

 

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lol, Madelaine, I have done that, actually. I guess I'm looking for a polite way to tell them that I prefer not to share...hmmmm, I think I just answered my own question! lol

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Dillon, great answer! I did know about "The Fourth Wall", but since it was the title of the thread, chose to just go with it, lol! 

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Dillon Levenque wrote:

Pardon my digression. A favorite. "The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg". Short story by Mark Twain. If you are not familiar with it I urge you to find and read it. An absolutely delightful work.

Agreed, it's a favorite of mine.

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My response....

Oh I'm so tickled that you want to step into my RL life so quickly........here is a fantasy picture of me in a compromising pose for your enjoyment...........[ passes a picture of a Victoria Secret model and then saunters away.]

:P

 

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I was just approached by a guy at  (a popular jazz ballroom) who immediately informed me that he was "hot". No "Hello, how are you?" Nothing, just that he was hot!!! lmao. I asked if his air conditioner was broken (only thing that came to mind right at that moment) He actually replied with laughter, apologized, and disappeared! lol!

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LlazarusLlong wrote:

If someone asks me a real life question I generally respond by asking them what colour (color) knickers (panties) they are wearing.

Well, fair's fair!

Black, crotchless... with a zipper in the back.

...Dres *thought about asking you a real life question, then decided he'd rather you remain an enigma*

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" I like to reserve RL facts for those I have known for a long time, and trust. "

 

Seems like you just did respond. Use that.

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I have a routine for the ones that keep digging past ice breaker stage...

Them:Where are you from?

Ceka: The states

Them:Really? where in the states?

Ceka:The south.

Them: Oh really,what state?

Ceka:Are you wanting to stop by for a visit or something?

 

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Ceka Cianci wrote:

 

Them: Oh really,what state?

 

 

Answer : The state of non-disclosure.

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Ceka Cianci wrote:

I have a routine for the ones that keep digging past ice breaker stage...

Them:Where are you from?

Ceka: The states

Them:Really? where in the states?

Ceka:The south.

Them: Oh really,what state?

Ceka:Are you wanting to stop by for a visit or something?

 

Me: Yeah, sure... what's for dinner?

...Dres

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Amethyst Jetaime wrote:

Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.

Demmit .. I  wanted to know if you're Mrs. Santa or just an enthusiastic elf .. :robotindifferent:

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one time i was commenting that to a friend, why people find it difficult to be immersive, his answer was because they can't.

some people live reality very firmly, giving low importance to their imagination, they either get it repressed, seeing it as an obstacle to work at their best with reality, and by thus it become atrophied by lack of practice, or some people are not born that creative, and the part of the brain that provides imagination is very little developed.

so they come to second life seeing it as any cartoon that you watch on tv, a bunch of unrealistic drawings moving around on the screen, they want to interact with other people that are using second life, and they start to talk about real life just like they would talk to a person they meet in rl. they talk about what happens in the real world and maybe about the controls of the viewer, they can't get immersed, and some may think that people that get immersed are hallucinating or something giving importance to the cartoon, they may see immersive people as kind of crazy.

i do not judge people bad for asking me questions about real life right away, i understand that that's how their brain works, if i am too immersive, and feel that it affects my interactions with second life, i just don't become so much a friend to them, i usually tend to have as friends people that disrupt less my way of living.

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Aislin Ceawlin wrote:

How do you respond when someone you literally just met asks questions about your RL? I really don't want to be rude, but am usually flummoxed as to how to respond!! ...

As I said in the other Fourth Wall tread, I am often in SL conversations about RL matters so I discuss RL. Also, I will say things like: "Got to run, time to take something out of the oven" or "RL phone call, BRB". However, depending upon the circumstances, some things are inappropriate. For example, a reference to the (RL) phone would not be appropriate when involved in RP in an earlier period of time.

I have been in discussions in SL with other moms about raising kids in RL. But I still keep somethings to myself.

Even in an RL online forum or other venue, some things are appropriate and some are not. When on-line in a discussion forum I will not reveal my kids' school, my address, my phone number, or some other information. With a few exceptions, when online I do not reveal the name of my law firm or even the city.

Of course, the same goes in face-to-face RL conversation. If, in most circumstances, I was asked about the size of my bra, I would be offended and would not reply. But in the lingerie section of a store that would be a normal question and I would give the correct reply.

In SL it depends upon the circumstances and each persons feelings about mixing SL and RL.

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Aislin Ceawlin wrote:

How do you respond when someone you literally just met asks questions about your RL?

 

You already wrote the answer!

See?!   ↓             


Aislin Ceawlin wrote:

 I like to reserve RL facts for those I have known for a long time, and trust.

 

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Vandris wrote:

"
I like to reserve RL facts for those I have known for a long time, and trust.
"

 

Seems like you just did respond. Use that.

Oh..haha  Vandris was already on it! 

Well, there you go two brilliant people *cough* telling you.....how could we be wrong!?   ; )

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Dresden Ceriano wrote:


Ceka Cianci wrote:

I have a routine for the ones that keep digging past ice breaker stage...

Them:Where are you from?

Ceka: The states

Them:Really? where in the states?

Ceka:The south.

Them: Oh really,what state?

Ceka:Are you wanting to stop by for a visit or something?

 

Me: Yeah, sure... what's for dinner?

...Dres

If they haven't caught on that they are prying too much too soon by then,then it's time to be direct with them..

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