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reneenow

Sex and Relationships on SL | HBO

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I work on a RL HBO series that explores sex and relationships in the Digital Age. I'm developing a segment that takes a look at these topics through the eyes of the SL community. If you are user who is interested in being interviewed by our correspondent here in SL, or give us the scoop in RL, please shoot me a message. I'd love to chat!

Thanks for your time!

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Just what we need, another Sexpose.

Here's a challenge for you, something NEW no one else has done before.

Covering the Non-Sexual side of Second Life.

Don't you journalists have any original ideas?

 

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Not volunteering anything here except sincere advice:

Please, please do serious research for this show. Don't just read a bunch of old articles that repeat the same old expectations about SL, then help to shoehorn the show into those expectations. I've seen this kind of laziness time & time again in so-called journalism shows, not just about sex or digital platforms, but about anything that's non-mainstream.

Really understanding SL requires spending time in world, personalizing your own avatar, exploring the world with multiple people, & hearing many views on how they relate to & use this world.  Virtual sex is only a small part of it. That part can partly be understood as filling emotional & psychological needs that real people have. It's partly about living out fantasies, but it's also about real people connecting through a digital medium.

I'm also going to recommend this event to you, next Saturday, August 30 at 1pm SLT (Second Life Time = Pacific Time)

An Analysis of Nudity in Second Life, presented by Herman Bergson  & The Science Circle

https://www.facebook.com/events/1472942452964574/

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Shamash/136/129/22

 

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Hi Perrie,

This is for a series segment, not a complete "sexpose" as you put it. SL is quite vast and I understand that there are a lot of working parts, but since the show is based around sex, relationships, and technology, I'm just trying to narrow the focus in this post. I hope to find users who can share their specific point of view.

I appreciate you reading the post.

x

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Hi Persephone,

I appreciate your response. Please note that I am not a journalist, nor do I claim to have an extensive knowledge of SL. In fact, there are many wonderful people who have helped me learn to navigate this world in my 3 weeks or so on SL. What I'm hoping to find are users who might share their experiences with me and potentially with our viewers -- helping us to understand what it's like to connect, sexually or otherwise. Since this is an HBO show about sex and technology those are the topics that we'll be exploring, but I think that it is the individual users who will be able to shed light on the many faces of SL -- that there is much more to this community.

Thanks for your time.

X

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Whats the pay for this gig then ?

Even the surveys for homework offer a few pennies :)

ETA : and took a glance at your groups - so that sort of segment eh :) rule 1 : at least try to cover your tracks eh

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I'd be happy to chat with you.  Feel free to hit me up via email: hadhox@gmail.com or you can contact me in world.  I'm Hadley Hoxley.  I get offlines in my email so anytime.


Thanks

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Hi Sirhc! Unfortunately there is no pay for an initial conversation. It would just be a chance for us to meet and discuss the idea.

Thank you for your response. :matte-motes-bashful-cute-2:

 

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Today is my 30 day birthday at SL. I've read the comments so far and what I see missing is the damange that happens because of your picked topic.

One thing I've seen are a lot of people that forget that it's digital and it's online. Some over my past 30 days, seem to be so involved mentally, they forget they are sitting at a keyboard w/mouse using a computer. It's just so real to them.

My point is this. Look at both sides. The good along with the bad and you'll find there are people here that actually get hurt. Keep in mind there are real people behind these graphic representations of digital people.

Please don't be one sided as I always see any program do. I came originally because of a NetFlix video caled Second Life 2.0 - and I've found that SL is not even close to what I saw on that video. Please don't be one sided in your reporting.

FatherofDavid

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FatherofDavid wrote:

Today is my 30 day birthday at SL. I've read the comments so far and what I see missing is the damange that happens because of your picked topic.

One thing I've seen are a lot of people that forget that it's digital and it's online. Some over my past 30 days, seem to be so involved mentally, they forget they are sitting at a keyboard w/mouse using a computer. It's just so real to them.

My point is this. Look at both sides. The good along with the bad and you'll find there are people here that actually get hurt. Keep in mind there are real people behind these graphic representations of digital people.

Please don't be one sided as I always see any program do. I came originally because of a NetFlix video caled Second Life 2.0 - and I've found that SL is not even close to what I saw on that video. Please don't be one sided in your reporting.

FatherofDavid

 

I'm glad that you've not only stuck around for thirty days but have even begun to assess what SL is. Don't be too critical of the Netflix thing you watched (I've no idea what it was) or even the point of view of this purported story. Those of us who've been here a year or two or more tend to jump down the throats of anyone who does a Second Life story, complaining that they're always seeing it from the outside.

That's usuallly true, but I'm not sure it matters much. Those of us who've been here a longish time, were we to tell the SL story, would probably tell it from our own personal perspective, and all of our stories would be different! Oh, sure, in some cases most of us following along would be nodding our heads, but in many cases there would be people yellling, "No! That's not it at all! You're getting it all wrong!". There is no "Second Life Story", any more than there's an "Earth Story". We make Second Life what it is, all of us. It's as many different things as we want it to be.

You are of course right in commenting about real people being really hurt. Someone very close to me sometimes calls her first experience here "falling down the rabbit hole". There's no real defense from that, any more than there is in real life. You just have to keep your eyes open as long as you can (that's not easy when the lips are millimeters away from yours) and hope for the best.

Stick around, why don't you? I think you'll enjoy the place.

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FatherofDavid wrote:

Today is my 30 day birthday at SL. I've read the comments so far and what I see missing is the damange that happens because of your picked topic.

One thing I've seen are a lot of people that forget that it's digital and it's online. Some over my past 30 days, seem to be so involved mentally, they forget they are sitting at a keyboard w/mouse using a computer. It's just so real to them.

My point is this. Look at both sides. The good along with the bad and you'll find there are people here that actually get hurt. Keep in mind there are real people behind these graphic representations of digital people.

Please don't be one sided as I always see any program do. I came originally because of a NetFlix video caled Second Life 2.0 - and I've found that SL is not even close to what I saw on that video. Please don't be one sided in your reporting.

FatherofDavid

 

I'll ramble.

Although the anonymity of SL (and other social environments) makes it easier to deceive, that differs from real life only by degree. SL doesn't take away empathy. People get beaten, raped and murdered in RL relationships. I don't think it's so much a matter of people changing when they're in SL as them looking more like themselves here than anywhere else. SL may make it easier to break hearts, but it also makes it impossible to break bones.

Since the dawn of recorded history, people have been romancing each other virtually. How many ancients had their hearts filled and then broken, all by letter? Did they forget they were sitting at a desk with a quill pen in hand? Or, was it real to them because it was... real?

SL may be faster and better, but we're still the same.

We can hope for a balanced view of life in SL, just as we can hope for balanced journalism. But the entertainment industry does not carry the journalist's burden. They're here to entertain. So, the question is whether we want to see SL examined for entertainment purposes. As an SL resident, I'll feel no more insulted by a lopsided view of SL residents than I am by a lopsided view of athiests or blondes. What really bugs me is the bad rap we nefarianists get.

;-).

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I don't mind you covering the sexual side of Second Life at all. Any publicity is good publicity. But if you want to make a real IMPACT with your article you need to be different. To do this please at least feature that sexual activity with images of Second Life at its very best.

Rather than the usual grainy images recorded on an office laptop with minimum graphics settings in a sim with 100 people lagging it out. Because that is what every journalist since 2007 has done.

No doubt these better images would look better on an HBO program too.....

If you need help with how to set that sort of scene and visuals up on your computer I am available - just send me a notecard in the game or message me on this forum. I'll set it all up for you free of charge and even record it for you in 1080p if you need. Then you just need actors to take part and I'm sure you can find those for a dime a dozen.

For reference this is how good Second Life can look. And people can have animated sex iin private high-performance sims. They can do that using sexbeds and other furniture with thousands of pre-recorded animations, made by real actors using motion capture:

second life looking good.jpg

And god forbid they might actually be doing something other than sex in these beautiful virtual worlds too...

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reneenow wrote:

I work on a RL HBO series that explores sex and relationships in the Digital Age. I'm developing a segment that takes a look at these topics through the eyes of the SL community. If you are user who is interested in being interviewed by our correspondent here in SL, or give us the scoop in RL, please shoot me a message. I'd love to chat!

 

Thanks for your time!

I'm assuming this is the show in question unless we're told otherwise.

http://www.vulture.com/2013/12/real-sex-reboot-hbo-sex-now.html

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Well, since this TV show will be just about sex and considering the fact that many free sex places are designed horrible with old textures and without any knowledge of proper building skills....I think we are doomed, again.

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Sadly I think you're right. 

And that is such a tradegy because if the truth got out about the sheer design beauty of Second Life combined with the fact that you can have dynamic and interractive "sex" in that idealistic world would draw in tens of thousands of new players overnight. The work, depth and talent of designers in Second Life I am convinced is unparralleled anywhere else.

My offer still stands though - I'll set it all up for you for free......even spend some of my own money if it helps SL...

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I suggest reading some blogs about SL, but only from real residents who've spent time in SL, not from the people who jump in straight to the worst adult regions & seem to think this is all SL has to offer:

Second Life Adventures, by Caroline Resident is a good one. (I'm afraid that if I put in a direct link, I'll get in trouble, because her content is explicit.)

Here's another recent blog & survey, you might find useful:

  SL Enquirer

 

I may as well comment from personal experience too, though I don't want to be named in this story.

For me, SL sex is entertainment. I'm not looking for RL love in here, but I do appreciate friendship, sensuality & eroticism. I don't see anything wrong with people getting sexually aroused & even reaching orgasms with the use of avatars, erotic text and/ or voice. If you're doing voice for an erotic encounter, I guess it's pretty much like phone sex. Adding some attractive avatars doing naughty animations with each other, just gives you a visual to add to that. If you do text instead or along with voice, that's like reading & writing erotic stories to each other. It takes a bit of effort, but it's fun & potentially satisfying on multiple levels.

What do I get out of it?

I like feeling desirable - for my avatar's appearance, for my erotic writing skills, for my personality, & for my voice. I like seeing an attractive man chatting, dancing or having sex with my avatar. I really like having good conversations with these guys too. It's not just sex, but personal stories, shared desires, shared fantasies & shared experiences. When it's someone in my age range, we can relate on many levels. Of course, when it's possible I also like being able to reach a climax, but much the time I'm not doing that. I get pleasure knowing that I can help them do that, though. I'm sure many people would view that as creepy, but I see it much as serving a good meal gives pleasure. There is pride in exercising an ability that others enjoy & appreciate.

In RL there are social taboos against promiscuity. These rules exist for good biological & social reasons. In a virtual world, those reasons don't apply. You can't get pregnant or get an STD in SL. You can't get robbed, beaten or raped in SL. You don't even need to worry about your RL reputation being tarnished (unless you put yourself on TV with this stuff). When the biological & social reasons for sexual taboos don't matter, why do we still hold onto them in a virtual world? I think it's mostly a matter of habit & psychological programming.

I'm still not going to do dangerous or hurtful things in RL, even if I were to do them in SL. I'm not an idiot. I can jump thousands of meters to the ground in SL, but that doesn't mean I'm going to jump off a cliff in RL. I can have casual sex with multiple partners in SL, but that doesn't mean I'm going to do the same thing in RL. This is a fantasy world, & most of us realize this. Sometimes that means having an avatar that's a dragon. Sometimes that means going to an SL sex party & acting out a scene from Eyes Wide Shut. Whatever you choose to do with your virtual life, as long as you're having fun & not hurting anyone, you're playing the "game" right.

 

ETA:

I'd be happy to show you adult places in SL that I think are interesting, beautiful & classy. If you need to quote me or show my avatar, I'd be willing to do so with an alt account, but not with this one.

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Thanks for your input FatherofDavid.

I think that Dillon Levengue put it best: There is no one singular "Second Life Story." I'm not looking to pass judgement on one "side" over another, but hoping we can accurately and honestly portray the perspective of the individual users that might share their experince with us. I imagine thoughts on the topic will vary from user to user.

 

 

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markkemp wrote:

I don't mind you covering the sexual side of Second Life at all. Any publicity is good publicity. But if you want to make a real IMPACT with your article you need to be different. To do this please at least feature that sexual activity with images of
Second Life at its very best.

Rather than the usual grainy images recorded on an office laptop with minimum graphics settings in a sim with 100 people lagging it out. Because that is what every journalist since 2007 has done.

No doubt these better images would look better on an HBO program too.....

If you need help with how to set that sort of scene and visuals up on your computer I am available - just send me a notecard in the game or message me on this forum. I'll set it all up for you free of charge and even record it for you in 1080p if you need. Then you just need actors to take part and I'm sure you can find those for a dime a dozen.

For reference this is how good Second Life can look. And people can have animated sex iin private high-performance sims. They can do that using sexbeds and other furniture with thousands of pre-recorded animations, made by real actors using motion capture:

second life looking good.jpg

And god forbid they might actually be doing something other than sex in these beautiful virtual worlds too...

This is absoluttly amazing. I would love to meet you inworld to discuss this further.

 

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