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Shroom Steinbeck

Unpleasant return to Second Life.

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EDIT*

I wanted to thank everyone contributing.

It's a shame that this is no longer the virtual world I loved. But I figure this game does so much more for a larger audience now. Which is good. I also read an article that sated my ignorance a bit more.

 http://gwynethllewelyn.net/2013/05/09/second-life-has-no-humans/

II don't agree with all of it, and it's a bit edgy. But it made some very good points.

 Happy Holidays~

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Im fairly new still so cant comment on early sl.

I find ppl welcoming and friendly. If Im in sandbox, sometimes I will watch or admire what others are building but when Im home, I like my privacy. If I was out on the porch though and you walked by ...Id say G'day!

 

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When I started out in Sl with a different account way back when it all started it was a very different place all open and hey wow zap what is this, the open exploring for me is fine if it is obviously a public place when someone walks into a private home/residence uninvited and refuses to leave that is what I personally do not like there have been several occaisons when others have marched into my house or tped in and interupted what I was doing. I like sharing all I ask is knock first.

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Hi, alot has changed the social part too.

As for creators, because most if not all the work is done outside SL then only uploaded, is a lonely work without much social interaction. Maybe some prefer it that way.

Of course the economical problems from FL forced people to restrict money spend and that killed many wonderful places.

Last not least, even with all the "amazing" new mesh stuff, SL looks still the same and most of us seen the improvements games made in the same time.

Maybe wait for SL2 ;-)

Monti

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I am an oldbie myself (Rez date of 2004).

Some things about SL have indeed changed over the years and some not so much. I think for us old ones that return it might be a bit different getting plugged back in to SL than for a new person. We have expectations of what SL should be and others have expectations of what we the oldbies should be. Neither are usually reasonable. :)

The best advice I can give you is hit search and find some fun things to do where there are people. Take some classes. Go to some live concerts (believe me they are way better musicians now than the one guy we had in 2004). Learn about mesh. Do things that interest you. Eventually that will get you hooked up with people of similar interests who can turn you on to other people and places that meet your interests. Take SL like you did as newbie. Like it is a whole new world because in some ways it is.

As for others expectations of you. I find when I venture off our land people are shocked to see one as old as I am and kinda assume I know everything about everything. I don't. It shocks them that I don't. LOL. Just point out that you are returning and do they have any special places you should check out and why they like them.

 

Just a few thoughts for ya.

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I'm sorry to hear things are not improved or at least the same for you. I wasn't around, but other games I've played are less friendly, and if you ever visit my place, I'd be thrilled. I don't get many visitors at 2400 feet. The last, univited one was naked and obviously knew that, if you know what I mean. I started laughing to myself. Another time I lived in a different house and some woman with a literally whorish name was idle there. Again, to me, humor. Other people I have met on way have been actually offensive. I've evoked the blacklist, or made a report (only twice in a few years and for reasons I still don't regret). Just about that, if I can be offended by strangers, I can't imagine what uptight people, moralist, overly sensitive types, or perhaps offensive people themselves might think at the advent of a cool traveller like yourself. Please don't think I am down on the SL community, these lands are so big you are bound to find what you are looking for anywhere, or if not, there is always the proverbial pursuit.  I do wish you luck :)

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I too came back after a much smaller break away (only18mths or so) and have had to start again. I find people to be hit and miss - and have had mixed results with approaching people to say hi, but I usually look at their profile, what they are wearing and comment on that usually with something I think is cheeky, funny, cute, droll etc and hope for the best. Only a couple of times has the person not responded, but some answer and that is it, no further conversation but that's fine by me.

However, when it comes to someone coming onto my home area I have a note in the land comments that quite clearly states I have a security orb - if Im not at home it will be on and you will be kicked but if I am home and it is off I expect a level of decency and for the person to at least come and say hello. If you continually come to my land and say nothng you will be put on the land ban list and my orb ban list.

My home has taken me hours of rl time to get just right and a lot of money and I don't appreciate people thinking that they can use my stuff without my permission. 

I do think though that you need to give the current SL a little more time. It's not easy and even i've wondered why i'm bothering and then the next day i'll speak to someone who reminds me what its all about. 

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Shroom Steinbeck wrote:

But every time I walked up to a person to chat with them, they seemed gobsmacked I would do such a thing. There seems to be a social stigma.

I've no idea where you went to get this reaction?   There are plenty of friendly communities and clubs in SL where visitors are greeted warmly.   

 


Shroom Steinbeck wrote:

The few times I greeted people at their homes, they quickly told me to leave and/or banned me. Doesn't that defeat the point of being on SL?

SL evolved from a place where builders and creators hang out, to a place that mirrors RL (a fantasy or imaginary RL).  So, in RL do you walk up and greet strangers in, or at, their houses?   I think not.  People expect privacy.

 

 

No, it doesn't defeat the purpose of SL.  The purpose of SL is so each person can have their version.    Others aren't obligated to live their SL the way you want them to.   Since you're from 2005, you might remember the SL slogan:    "Your World, Your Imagination"?

 


Shroom Steinbeck wrote:

I did this all the time years back. And most people were delighted to have visitors.

 

I started in 2007 (only two years after you) and many people were not "delighted" to have strangers greet them in, or at, their homes.  I know because as a newbie I got kicked from places.    I think you're using a bit of hyperbole.

In my experience the people from 2004/2005 are some of the least social in SL.  What you seem to miss is a certain kind of socialization, that was part of the creator community.  Perhaps one of the builder communities would be a good place to visit.  (Oh, wait, you said you're pretty sure you're not going to return to SL.......grrr.....I wasted my time replying)

 

 

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You've come to the forums to complain about people being rude?

Father "That would be ironic if ironic meant what people incorrectly thought it meant" Jim

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"Others aren't obligated to live their SL the way you want them to."

I never said they had to. But what is the point of being private on a game aimed at being social? Don't get me wrong, I understand the argument. But at the end of the day: My pixels have come to your pixels to say hello. I don't think I am disrupting peoples lives to the point where they have to be so apprehensive. No they don't have to be polite, but is it so hard?

But thanks for the reply. You're right. The game isn't the game I enjoyed nearly a decade ago.

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Shroom Steinbeck wrote:

But I'm curious about the history. How did it get this way?

I think it is correct that there's been a subtle shift towards an emphasis on "privacy" and we could speculate about why that happened. Waves of griefers probably had some effect, but yeah, the default assumption now seems to be that one should have to obtain permission to explore a parcel, and that is a weird bit of role-play to drag in from RL. I've seen folks actually justify this with an analogy to wandering into RL houses uninvited. I suppose that's a reaction from "immersion" but it's hard to distinguish from paranoid delusions when applied to pixel property.

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Shroom Steinbeck wrote:

How did it get this way?


I think it's largely to do with the continuing influx of morons from AOL through to Facebook whose main contribution to social intercourse has been limited to ejaculations of  "Hi!" and "Add me".

Father "If you want conversation inworld, get a profile" Jim

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Was it ever different ? Then i must have missed this time.

A house/home whatever mainly was a place for me to be on my own. Sort inventory, IM friends, check what to do ...without getting "Hi´d" each and every minute, asked for where to av s.. or buy pixel mumus.

What´s the purpose of pay money if everyone just walks in use ur furniture and then gets nasty because on the net everything is free ?

One of the reasons i do not have a home anymore. The whole internet community has changed to the "all for free" mentality.

Look at all the cry threads about "why am i being banned from this sim i did nothing wrong"

Because someone pays 200 $ every month to make his own rules, stupid or not - end of.

Monti

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First...my apologies for your bad experience on returning to SL. Coming inworld in difficult enough as a newbie, it must be worse to come back after a few years absense to find it different and not pleasant.

That being said, my two cents:\

I have never really built or made anything and am not a big fan of mesh. I did make a T-shirt once which I was pretty proud of...took a texture, unloaded it and placed it on a long sleeve shirt. Can't do that anymore with mesh...but it never really bothered me. I have friends who build and haven't had any problems. I suppose it would have to do with whether or not you want to learn the new systems.

Socially, people are in their own worlds at times. It depends on where you're going to talk to people and what you said to them when starting a conversation. I'm not sure I understand the "gobsmacked" description you use, though. Visiting people in their homes...I can't even begin to describe how wrong that is. They asked you to leave because they probably thought you were a troll or something (and you just might be). No one likes someone to invade their privacy. And I can't believe you did that back in 2005..

Of course, it's your choice as to whether or not you wish to come back...and not our job to convince you to stay. If you're unhappy, there's no point in changing your mind. Out of curiosity...how long did you give it before you bailed? 

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Been here since '06 myself, and one of the things I learned early on is that hardly anyone likes to have someone pop into thier private space unannounced and uninvited.  Yeah, it gets you tossed and banned.  Violating private space has always been a no no in my experience. And I hope that as long as I have a private space, for which I pay good money, I will not have to put up with idiots barging in and ruining my peace.  My living room is *not* your sandbox.

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Shroom Steinbeck wrote:

"Others aren't obligated to live their SL the way you want them to."

I never said they had to. But what is the point of being private on a game aimed at being social? Don't get me wrong, I understand the argument. But at the end of the day: My pixels have come to your pixels to say hello. I don't think I am disrupting peoples lives to the point where they have to be so apprehensive. No they don't have to be polite, but is it so hard?

But thanks for the reply. You're right. The game isn't the game I enjoyed nearly a decade ago.

After all, it's not like you're popping in as a giant pudding while they're making out with their sweeties, is it?

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Pudding or not even so usually they look far worse ;-)

Social doesn´t mean putting my whole life infront of others, want that - go on FB.

As said there are moments even in a virtual life you just want to be on your own (or only with friends).

SL is big enough to stroll around without invading others space - paid space !!!

Monti

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Monti Messmer wrote:

SL is big enough to stroll around without invading others space - paid space !!!

I know lots of people feel that way and we're expected to respect the sentiment -- probably much of virtual land ownership depends on it now. But really, a baby-step back from the immersion, it all sounds mighty similar to "how dare you load my webpage in your browser -- I pay for its hosting!"

[ETA, it's great that we have the ability to enforce some level of privacy -- and considerably more than we had for years, thanks to the "parcel privacy" setting. I just think it's crazy and counterproductive that we seem to have adopted a default etiquette of "assume private until proven otherwise." It's just a very weird assumption, especially considering the enormous cost of making it possible for people to share all the virtual world.]

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Shroom Steinbeck wrote:

"Others aren't obligated to live their SL the way you want them to."

I never said they had to. But what is the point of being private on a game aimed at being social? Don't get me wrong, I understand the argument. But at the end of the day: My pixels have come to your pixels to say hello. I don't think I am disrupting peoples lives to the point where they have to be so apprehensive. No they don't have to be polite, but is it so hard?

But thanks for the reply. You're right. The game isn't the game I enjoyed nearly a decade ago.

Shroom, you're taking things too personal.   Whether it was in my early days when I wandered into people's houses, or now....if a stranger doesn't want to talk to me...it's cool.    Also, there could be many factors involved for the incidents you describe, none which have anything to do with you (personally). 

I will ask you this though:   Have you upgraded your avatar since 2005?   Or are you using an avatar that is disconcerting or odd?   Some people won't be bothered by this....but many will.  An avatar is a visual calling card telling us something about the person.   It's important...and the same few seconds of,  "make a good impression" also exist in SL. 

Your profile has it been updated?  If so, is it written to be open and friendly?   These are the types of things that make a difference.  Just like in RL, how you're perceived, goes a long way.

One of the keys to life in general, is to not take things personal, but also make an effort to present well. 

(End of unsolicited advice ; )

 

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Theresa Tennyson wrote:


Shroom Steinbeck wrote:

"Others aren't obligated to live their SL the way you want them to."

I never said they had to. But what is the point of being private on a game aimed at being social? Don't get me wrong, I understand the argument. But at the end of the day: My pixels have come to your pixels to say hello. I don't think I am disrupting peoples lives to the point where they have to be so apprehensive. No they don't have to be polite, but is it so hard?

But thanks for the reply. You're right. The game isn't the game I enjoyed nearly a decade ago.

After all, it's not like you're popping in as a giant pudding while they're making out with their sweeties, is it?

True story I once long ago (maybe 2006ish) walked into my own home to find a couple availing themselfs of the more adult nature of my furniture and got yelled at by the couple for disturbing them.  Yep freeze ban eject.

Now mind you I am not a prude. If they had not got nasty with me I probably would have just TP out and done something else for awhile. Heck I MADE that furniture and the animations in it. LOL

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I had that happen to me too, logged in found a couple using my stuff and they screamed at me for interupting them how dare i, didn't I know it was rude to interupt things in rp etc etc, I had logged off afte laying down on my own bed and rezzed right in the middle of them.

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Mirika Drasilova wrote:

I had that happen to me too, logged in found a couple using my stuff and they screamed at me for interupting them how dare i, didn't I know it was rude to interupt things in rp etc etc, I had logged off afte laying down on my own bed and rezzed right in the middle of them.

LOL

I actually considered rezzing a chair and popcorn and making snarky comments on their technique but then I decided naw....they might like it.

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Hey shroom, sorry things started off all wrong on your return.  Since I'm not a builder, or creator, I can't say much about socializing with that group or whether many are around or not.  I can say that I found people to be rather rude when I was all noob looking.  Not so much at the "welcome" centers but clubs especially.  And I got booted from homes as well not having any idea about anybody's feelings on privacy.  So many grieferss use "throw away" accounts and come in all noob looking and then annoy the living h*ll out of people that many have gotten really tired of noobs.  But I also understand the privacy issues.  Remember, there are a lot of people in sl now experimenting with sexual orientation or just looking for quick gratification, and there are couples who are in simulated partnerships and marriages in sl, all of whom keep their homes as their love nests.  There are lots of sophisticated sex animations now.   It's a little disconcerting to be in the midst of a passionate moment with your significant other (possibly on voice) only to have a stranger walk in on you and ruin it all, and cause not a little embarrassment.  So you need to make sure the folks there are really in the mood to have a guest turn up, or you may find them less than hospitable.  I'm just sayin' this is the reality of simulated reality in sl now.  Personally, I perservered and found places and people and activities I like too much to let a little rudeness get to me.  I find the live performances are friendly places and the folks there are more tolerant of unconventional looking avatars.  Before you go for good, you might give some of these a try:  Amforte Clarity, Edward Kyomoon,  Gina Stella, Noma Falta, Russell Eponym,  KevinM Thomas,  Maximillion Kleene, Anj Gustafson...and those aren't all, there are more.  Try it.  You might like it.

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I am sorry that you have had an unpleasent return to SL.

My two cents worth are for one thing fix your profile.

Your profile ssays everything about you and no offense but right now yours is saying im an alt.

You don't have a profile pic. There is nothing about you in your profile but web addresses, not one link in your Picks, the only thing that doesnt say alt is the fact that you have a payment info on file.  If you want to have friends you need to put something in your profile.

Your profile is the first thing someone will check out. If you had a profile like this and spoke to me I would think you were a griever, I don't know if you have dealt with grievers but it isn't a pleasant experience

I am not sure where you have been all these years that you just came back. I made my account in 2008 and I always look at the profile before I talk to someone.

If you want people to talk to you and take you seriously then put a pic in your profile and write something or steal it from someone elses profile then hop around and find some places to put in your Picks.

Then on 1st life photo write something cute to show you have a sense of humor.

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