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Anyone have any advice on how to fix a broken Freindship?


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I think it was my fault, but here is what happened:

 

I met someone with my Avatar, they liked me and talked to me, and although on their main char they had obligations, they had an alt, untouched and changed it for me to my liking.

 

<My first thought is, this does not seem right and seems desperate> but I played along and we talked got to know each other and such. The more we talked I was like ok this person not half bad.

 

Well I think I said something to the tune of I could see my self being yours and you being mine, but did not really think of the implications or gravity of what I said. They took it literally.

 

Well I was in the middle of some time with my SL family which is just more like a group of SL friends, when this person popped in and started talking about how I was now their Boy friend, and even talking of our private time together etc.

 

Ummm I was not prepared for it, and was embarrassed. And I could see how they could make the mistake since I brought up the topic of me seeing myself as that, but I wasn't like serious.

 

Anyhow I decided its best to not see each other, and told them so. But they are actually a good person, who I left hurting.

I wouldn't mind repairing the friendship, but afraid it would be taken the wrong way or do you think I should let it go they do take things quite literally so Id have to be on my toes.

 

 

 

 

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Paxheat wrote:

I think it was my fault, but here is what happened:

 

.... on their main char they had obligations, they had an alt, untouched and changed it for me to my liking.
...

Well I was in the middle of some time with my SL family which is just more like a group of SL friends, when this person popped in and started talking about how I was now their Boy friend, and even talking of our private time together etc.

 

 


This sends up a LOT of red flags for me.  Unless it is strictly a RP situation, anyone that admitted to using an alt to start a relationship with me because they were obligated on their main and was willing to change their entire avi for me smacks of dishonesty and desperation.  Then to show up out of the blue and barge in on you....

How do you know they won't cheat on you on this alt or by creating another?  They probably would. 

Since they are so willing to change everything about their avi, they probably feel you should too.  Is that ok with you?

They'd probably be the needy type that would cling and not allow you out of their sight.

I think you dodged a bullet. 

 

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These are things you can only decide for yourself. So I won't advise you.

I'll just say that if somehow the same thing had happened to me I'd decide "not to see each other", too. Even if I knew that was at least somewhat hurtful to the other person I'd stick to it, because I have to think any attempt to go on would in the end be even more hurtful, and maybe to more than one person.

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I agree with what Amethyst wrote above. The relationship seems to have started the wrong way, completely.

Anyway, I'd like to add that you shouldn't say deep stuff like that if you don't mean it (referring to the "I can see myself being yours and you being mine"). Even if it's just SL, and, well, because it is SL, where any intended tone of joking or sarcasm will most often go unnoticed (especially in written language), and where some people take things very seriously.
I'm not making any generalisations now, just speaking out of my own experience, but I would say that among others, SL attracts a great deal of people who need some sort of shelter or comfort from RL - that can many times mean that they are mentally unstable (your friend sounds like that). So I'm always being extra careful with how I treat people I don't know very well in SL, because on the one hand, they may misinterpret whatever I say, and on the other hand, I rarely know who I am really talking to and more importantly; what kind of a state of mind they really are at that exact moment.

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