Jump to content
  • 0

Sexual harrassment


Guest
 Share

You are about to reply to a thread that has been inactive for 4893 days.

Please take a moment to consider if this thread is worth bumping.

Question

Last autumn at a force sex sim i encountered a female av that like so many others was standing around amidst the crowds of players...Her see through and scimpy clothes suggested she to was there as a player and as such i approached her. A quick converstaion though revealed her motives were more along the lines of entrapment than any wish to participate in rp....

I cut my losses and left her alone and in my mind that was the end of it despite her statement that she would now report me for breach of TOS.

Recently i decided to type my sl name into Google just to see if anything came up and was surprised to find a blog entry where this woman had cut and pasted out conversation into her blog and was attempting to use me as a demonstration of the "sexually corrupted" policies of second life.

Here is the URL to the blog .. http://sexsecond.blogspot.com/2009/10/examples-of-sexual-harassment-in-second.html

2 comments at the bottom of the blog both smacked of adolescent twoddle so instead of adding my own comment i opted to send her a notecard inworld. I was carefull to word the note in a way that was in no way abusive, threatening or confrontational however, despite that i can see she had been online a couple of days ago i have recieved no notification that she has either accepted or rejected my notecard which left me assuming the woman must have muted me....Fair enough.

This morning, again out of curiosity, i typed her sl name into Google to see if she was carrying on her "strange ways" and found this .. http://sexsecond.blogspot.com/

If you scroll down you find a heading "Message from a second lie Christian" .. Now the woman assumes that i have created an alt and used that to flame her on this blog.

The cut and pasted comments (strangly devoid of anything from her) raises some salient points although again his style of chat maybe done more harm than good.

My questions

I honestly don't think i have harrassed this woman in any way however can someone tell me .. Does my initial conversation (and only conversation) with this woman read like sexual harrassment to you's. I'm a staunch believer of the simple concept of "human Vs human"..some men are bad, some are good, some women are bad, some are good....The differences in the sexes are undeniable yet there isn't one that is better than the other..we are all at the end of the day "residents of earth". Seeing my sl name being hung out like some sort of sexual deviant is (without wishing to sound overly dramatic) perturbing!

Also........can a resident cut and paste conversations into their blogs without gaining permission to do so by those included in the chat logs.?

Olsin Skute.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Recommended Posts

  • 0

As this happened last autumn and clearly nothing resulted from the alleged TOS report I'd not worry about it.

Your comments were made in an IM and are in no way harassment - the "lady" is over reacting.

Also - she is breaking the TOS by posting the private IM conversation on her blog without your permission.

You could either report her for posting the IM chat log without permission or just ignore it and let her get on with whatever weird things she is up to.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

I think, though don't quote me on this, that sexual harrassment in a setting like SL is different than it would be in RL...like most other things. I could understand her being upset if you had approached her that way in RL, say, at work...because that would be considered sexual harrassment in most companies.

Here though, especially on a roleplaying sim that is specifically about sex, I would not say you harrassed her in any way. You initiated conversation because you assumed she was there to roleplay, and that's why the subject came up at all. When she told you she wasn't interested, you left her alone.


As for your second question, there are a couple of blog posts addressing just that, and from what I understand any chat logs taken and posted outside of SL or secondlife.com is not a TOS violation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

Doesn't look like sexual harrassment to me. You tried chatting her up on a sex sim and she wasn't interested, that's all. It says on her blog that she's an escort ... I wonder how she copes with that?

It must be distressing to know somebody is saying this sort of stuff about you on a blog, but if it was me, I think I'd try to just ignore it. There's no sense in giving her blog any more publicity. What an oddly small head she has.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

This "female" is obviously a troll. By dressing that poorly modified avatar in skimpy clothes and deliberately standing around to attract attention in sex sims, she is falsely representing herself.  Her "escort" status is another method of entrapment.  Her ridiculous threat to contact outside corporations points to a busybody holier-than-thou housewife with too much time on her hands and not enough excitement in her own pitiful RL. She should be volunteering at rape-crisis centers if she's really that concerned instead of harassing legitimate game players.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

After reading that blog entry, I have only one conclusion:


The woman is a flake and a hypocrite with way too much time on her hands. I wouldn't worry one bit about that conversation as I saw it, it was perfectly appropriate for the setting. Most reasonable people will see it for what it is... a conversation taken out of context and spun up backwards. Let her be on her crusade as she is only wasting energy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

don't worry about it she sounds like she is disturbed...from what was posted  u didn't do anything wrong...one thing that would have turned me off is that u called her dear... using dear usually is a tell tell sign someone might be older...i always think dear as some thing my grandma would say...so maybe she was threatened because she thought u were being too nice and maybe an old perv....even though any reasonable person can clearly see that u were just being polite...was something missing what was she going to report u for?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

Wow.....if you are a perv...you are the most polite perv in SL.....lol

 

I WISH a man would approach me in that manner.....I get more offensive IMs when I'm simply shopping or sitting at my home sim.

 

I read nothing that deserved her vindictive post.  And yeah...if she didn't want to hook up, then she shouldn't have been in a sex sim...plain and simple.  Sounds to me like her SLife was a bit boring at the moment and she needed a drama injection.....sorry she had to throw you into her pathetic dilusion...

 

I'm one of those women that DO actaully get harrassed......a lot.....and I'm quick to mute.....she was in no way harassed by you......... Some of the IMs me and my friends get are just strait nasty.....and yes...it can be visually assaulting at times on top of being extremely annoying.......but again...if a fellah approached me as you did her, well...that would be a refreshing change.  And in a sex sim even?? wow.....she got off lucky....she has no idea what real in world sexual harassment really is..............

 

When she gets hit with IMs of descriptions of man parts....or how awesome her tatts are and how much that person wants to lick em.....and she can thank Emerald for the bouncy boobs and the constant IMs about how AWESOME they look and what a guy wants to stick...ok....u get the point.....yeah..........then she can bitch......'til then...she's a poser drama queen.....

 

 

Oh....and I'm sure that sim owner would LOVE to know there is a troll there simply to get their visitors in trouble...never have I heard of such a thing....a person standing in a sex sim for god knows how long waiting for someone to break a rule so she can run and report them..........unreal.........I agree with the above..the girl's got issues.....And is obviously a crap escort, or she wouldn't have that much time on her hands.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

geez, everyone... I have heard and been the receiver of much more graphic and disturbing banter than this in SL public parks, etc., and am a bit surprised that this was taken as harassment.  I see no violation of anyone's rights here, most especially in the context of a sex sim.   However, this person has a right to voice an opinion, whether or not anyone agrees with it.   posting the conversation simply proves that the avatar who approached her was in no way abusive.  What was disturbing to me was not the original conversation posted by Lillie, but the reply to the posting by "Evenios."  In reply to Evenios:  perhaps it would interest you to learn many female avatars are male in RL; this is proven by scientific means and has been written about statistically, both in RL and SL.  It may further interest you to know many psychologists and sociologists are studying SL.  Should you be interested in any published research, IM me and I will send you links.  Additionally, to downgrade an entire gender based on this silly and unnecessary posting belies a high degree of anger that you are carrying from RL to SL.  The true issue here, both for Lillie and Evenios, is an angry and hostile reaction that goes far beyond any that would be expected in this situation.  SL brings beauty, art, and joy to many people.  Those who choose to visit sex sims are there for... well... Sex!  not surprising, right?  One more item:  every avatar in SL has a human being in RL operating it.  The reason we enjoy SL is because it is just what it says, a "second life."  Flying, riding a Harley underwater, listening to artists stream their music live, all of these activities are experienced as though real when processed by the brain as sensory input.  Emotional reactions that follow are also real.  It could be Lillie has been traumatized in RL, and is exploring this trauma through SL.  Right or wrong, her emotions are real.  But, really, an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind (Ghandi). 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

How would she feel if everyone make a "new identity" and post on her blog describing male genitalia, even send her links to photos of them online.  That might show that drama queen what harrassment really is.  I in no way would condone anyone doing such a thing of course.

/me removes tongue from inside of cheek

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

So I went there I read it and frankly could not believe it. I suggest you contact the sim owner and get her banned from the sim. Anyway, anyone who reads it can see you did nothing wrong. I did feel the need to respond to her though and posted this response. BTW since this thread went up several people have commented on her blog all in your favour.

Posted on the blog linked in the OP

I'm sorry but the simply is no such thing as rape in second life. No avatar can be made to do anything without consent. You consent when you sit on the posebasll or accept the request to animate your avatar. Using RLV you consent the minute you log in using it or open up your RLV relay or collar.
Olsin did and said absolutlely nothing wrong. There was no sexual content in his conversdation merely he expressed a desire to get to know you better. Intimate can mean any number of things and given the nature of the sim we all know what he meant but it was not overtly sexual. I was IM'd by a guy who clicked on me on mini map when I was at my home with a friend chatting, he expressed very explicitly his wish to have sex with me and impregnate and was most persistant on the point even asking me to teleport to my home there and then for sex. Had that happened to the blogger I believe she might have cause for complaint. Did I threaten to report this guy no, because at the end of the day had he not stopped I know where the mute button is.
To my mind it is the blogger who has violated ToS and should be reprted to LL but as she knows full well they don't act if IM's are posted for all to read outside SL, only had she circulated it within SL. So you have to wonder who's really flagrantly ignoring the spirit of ToS, the gentleman who complimented the blooger on her avatar and asked to get know her better or the blooger that posted it and screamed sexual harrassment?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

" I cut my losses and left her alone and in my mind that was the end of it despite her statement that she would now report me for breach of TOS. "

 

 

IMHO......such a level of deception and deliberate entrapment from a person could itself be said to be a violation of TOS.

A person who is deliberately setting themselves up to be 'sexually harrassed' is the true harrasser, and is also guilty of deliberate attempt to 'disturb the peace'......insofar as any willful attempt to create drama where there was none is a disturbance of the peace.

I do recall there was a voice blog by one of the Lindens, back when Zindra was being discussed, in which the issue of wilfully false abuse reports was mentioned.....and it was stated by one of the Lindens that under such situations Lindens were just as likely to take action against the accuser. That would be a welcome policy change.....and one we really ought to see in writing somewhere.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

Hi Olsin

Just posting here to support you, I am SO SORRY this happened to you   There are some real messed up people in SL.

I would file an abuse report against her, not sure if LL does anything about it but so they know.

Hope you can leave this behind you and continue enjoying SL, most people are okay!

take care

Suteruni

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

I too could not believe her post and HAD to reply with a comment myself....read yours and it rocked...hehe

 

I browsed throught the blog and noticed this is a common practice.  Going to what she deems "illegal" sims and setting these poor guys up without ANY leeway into "I'm reporting you!!"

 

I am so not a fan of blatant sexual IMs...but the majority of the conversations I read are not blatant at all.....And how freely she calls these men out on her public forum is frightening.  The guys seem so confused with her venom and say "But we are in a place FOR this...??"  I am guilty of posting something similar onmy Flickr about how I loath nasty IMs....but I somehow managed to get my point across without publicly humiliating anyone......and it's obvious a private IM with her doesn't stay private.....Might be best if people take note of her screen name and stay far FAR away.......

 

Her entire blog is a contradiction.  A virtual escort that hates sex is what I got from it.  She CAN'T be an escort if she attacks every man that approaches her...even those who do so in a calm and polite manner.  F'n ridiculous....and quite insulting to those who genuinely have a problem with the bombardment of sexual advances....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

  I have to admit, I more or less laughed out loud (good thing I live alone!) at the tone of the blog's writer and her "reason" for being in the sex sim in the first place...How can it be a TOS by someone if they approached, especially with how polite the guy was, the blog's writer in a sex sim such as that one when you know you will get approached sooner or later? I do hope the sim's owner/manager banned her.

  The commentor "Evenios" fortunately does not speak for most of us guys. I personally have never seen a woman lead any guy on, unless she was acting out a scene for a movie or show. Most of the time, it's the guy that doesn't bother listening to the woman because he has only one thing on his mind and when he doesn't get it, he blames the woman for "leading him on".

  As for Second Life not needing whiners, I agree. So when is the whiner "Evenios" planning on leaving SL? I say this in case he happens to read this thread as women are not the only whiners in SL. There are quite a few men that whine a lot too, and "Evenios" sure sounded like a whiner in that comment on that blog to me!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

I think I read the wrong part of her blog. The Coakley campaign thing. That blogger seems to a be a woman who deeply hates her own body and gender. Repeatedly she disparages womanhood and the experience of puberty - seeing it as a trial almost described as 'punishment from nature' rather than a blossoming into something wonderful.


That's kind of depressing that someone could have so negative of a self identity.


And it leaves me not at all surprised about her other posts and claims of being harrassed. This is someone who thinks nature / God / whatever harrassed women by making them not men. When you start out with that viewpoint, you can't win...

 

I don't think there is anything you can do to make peace with this woman. She has to make peace with herself and her own body first. Far from a dissapointment of burdens, the female body is a thing of grace, inner power, and elegant beauty.


As for a direct answer... reading the chat she herself quoted, there's no harrassment on -your- end of the conversation. Maybe she cut that part out. But the parts she left in seem to show her harrassing you.


That said, a sex club on mature land is a TOS violation. She should have just reported that, and left. It belongs on adult land.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0


Divine.Tokyoska wrote:

 

Wow.....if you are a perv...you are the most polite perv in SL.....lol

 

I WISH a man would approach me in that manner.....I get more offensive IMs when I'm simply shopping or sitting at my home sim.

 

I know...

 

I was thinking... geeze, come perv me like that, please. It'd be a nice change.

We need to have Olsin teach 'perv classes' at NCI so some of the other pervs can learn how to be successful at it.

(actually I tend to end up with mostly the nice pervs. Usually they big me when I don't have free time though... /sigh )

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

Thank you everybody....I had expected / hoped the more sensible people on this forum would see things from my side but that you ALL basically vindicate me of any wrong doings gives me a delicious glow as I sit here sunday morning with my breakfast on the table reading through your comments..

It was an impossible task focusing on one answer above any others as being "correct" and even harder trying to decide which one might be helpfull....I wish i could have given every single last one of you points for your demonstrations that commonsense has taken the driving seat here...I especially thank those that went the extra mile and posted comments on her blog.

As for Lillie....Well, with this thread in my backpocket i feel now no need to take this matter any further...Hopefully she will take this lesson to heart and learn from it...although it's a well know fact that some people wear the same colour all their lives...;)

Sincere thanks once again to you all .. Olsin winks and waves as he places his cup of coffee back on the table and swallows his last mouthfull of toast.

Olsin Skute.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

To say I am mortified at what this vile, perverted (IMO) woman is doing to you in a forum outside of SL, turns my stomach. She does not even have the guts to confront you in an area with her blog that is within SL ( I am sure because she knows that SHE is th one who is in the wrong and would bring a world of trouble down on herself.) She is gutless and a griefer of the worst kind.

Having read your conversation with her a couple of times, all I can say my friend is you are certainly not in the wrong... in fact, considering the area you were playing in when you met her, I would say you are a gentleman of the highest order. YOU have NOTHING to be ashamed of. I wish more were like you when they approach a woman. I certainly have had a damn sight worse from men (in pg) areas, who have approached me....my response.."not interested" and then I tp out.

To be honest, (again in my opinion) I don't think in this instance this matter should be left to rest...I suggest strongly you fill out an AR...she is practicing entrapment and harrassement. The sim owner needs to be aware...and the general populous needs to be protected from this type of person. She is a female predator of the worse kind.

I am sorry I sound so awful...but this post really affected me. I hate seeing the innocent hurt.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

I literally could not believe my eyes when I read that blog.  I went in there expecting you to have maybe pushed too far and got a knock back.  But nothing!!  That is possibly the nicest most polite come on I have ever read....

Olsin you are a gentleman and I think you should just think one thing.  People like this are too low life to even matter - their opinions should not even register.  Be clear than no one sane, sensible or with half a brain will read that blog and agree with her as shown by the posted comments.  Do not stoop to her level (thinking backhoe) and just realise you will never win with such trolls as this and ignore she even exists.

*Shakes her working half a brain and goes back to work with anger vented

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

The behaviour of this person, as you describe it, is clearly abusive.

First, the capture roleplay sims are an exception to the TOS and general legal/politeness rules on "attacking" or "harrassing" people, as it is a part of the roleplay here.

Second, this was clearly a provocation: sitting in an adult encounter/caapture sim, in adult attire, and claiming to be a victim...  it is so gross that all the bloggers saw the trap

Third, there is a disclosure of a private chat, and this is forbidden by the TOS and by laws.

So you can report this person, who seems to clearly be a griefer, and you could even sue her in RL, if the whole affair was nott utterly ridiculous.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are about to reply to a thread that has been inactive for 4893 days.

Please take a moment to consider if this thread is worth bumping.

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...