"Child" Avis and is it only me who is uncomfortable?

[Magnus Brody]

I'd be grateful for your opinions.

I'm co-owner of a couple of sims which are based on a rl place, not rp.  We are a community and get visitors from all over the world.

We don't ban rp at all, but we are a very social community and generally discuss rl.

Now and then we are visted by child avis or families and, as a rl tourist attraction, we are welcoming and polite.  However I have always been ill at ease with adults rping children, but I realise that is part of sl and I suspend judgement.

Today, I had quite a freaky experience.  An avi, describing itself as a 13 years old girl, and with an avatar which was very small and in keeping with their profile desciption, visited an event I was holding.  I was concerned at their appearance enough that I checked their profile and became even more concerned when their "rl" pic was a very young female selfie.

The avi IM'd me without me making any welcome in local and the convo went like this...

[2014/05/11 12:12]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Hello.
[2014/05/11 12:12]  Magnus Brody: Hey
[2014/05/11 12:13]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): You're from UK too? :)
[2014/05/11 12:13]  Magnus Brody: yes
[2014/05/11 12:13]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Cool
[2014/05/11 12:15]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Do you own this place?
[2014/05/11 12:16]  Magnus Brody: Yes
[2014/05/11 12:16]  Magnus Brody: Sorry I'm djing, so sorting out tracks etc
[2014/05/11 12:16]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Oh, maybe you'd like to do something later? :)
[2014/05/11 12:19]  Magnus Brody: tbh I find your profile is something I'm not comfortable with
[2014/05/11 12:19]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): What do you mean?
[2014/05/11 12:20]  Magnus Brody: I prefer to talk to adults
[2014/05/11 12:21]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Oh, so you wont even concider talking to me? :(
[2014/05/11 12:21]  Magnus Brody: No, I feel a little creeped out by someone role playing a 13yo
[2014/05/11 12:22]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Why's that?
[2014/05/11 12:23]  Magnus Brody: Well, let's just say, I don't talk to 13yo rl or sl
[2014/05/11 12:23]  Magnus Brody: If you continue, I shall report this convo to the lab, as I feel it very creepy
[2014/05/11 12:23]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Sorry, report for what? I havent done anything
[2014/05/11 12:24]  Magnus Brody: I have told you I am creeped out, that should really be enough
[2014/05/11 12:24]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Okay, Im sorry.
[2014/05/11 12:25]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): If I were to change my age?

At this point I banned them.

I was left feeling quite sick and uncomfortable, really creeped out.  I found this approach very weird as my profile makes it quite clear I am nearly 50 and contains a photo to evidence I'm certainly within that ballpark.

Perhaps you think I overreacted and I would like your views.

As a larger discussion, is it acceptable to rp children in SL?  Is anyone else generally creeped out?

[xCindersx]

Ok, the only part I find creepy or not right is the asking if you'd like to do something later but that being said sometimes things come out not as meant, especially with me! Maybe they meant it in a different way?

I don't really find kids here creepy unless they babytalk & have diapers that talk etc but do prefer to not be around them, I have no problem with the people playing them but just as in RL I wouldn't hang out with kids unless my own or ones I babysat for so wouldn't here & don't login to hear all about school etc

 

IMO definitely acceptable to rp kids here, SL can help with RL in many ways and for some they never had RL Parents or family etc so here they can rp that. For me I have a non existant relationship with my RL Brother so having an awesome SL one helps that. I actually think it'd be weird without kids when we have old people, jobs, homes & pets etc everything rl has but kids? For me that would be even weirder

[Magnus Brody]

Thanks for your reply.

Generally I am merely a little uncomfortable with them, in much the same way as rl when in the middle of a dinner party and a child appears from upstairs, obviously any adult conversation changes until the child leaves.  It could also be said that my conversation might well also have changed if my Grandmother had appeared.

I take your point that sl might well be as weird without children, as rl would be, and also that many adults experience a childhood in sl which they were denied for whatever reason.

However, as an obvious 50yo man, I was creeped out to be asked to hang out later by an avi which so clearly, both prof and appearance, described itself as a 13yo girl.

[So Whimsy]

---

Magnus Brody wrote:

 

I was left feeling quite sick and uncomfortable, really creeped out. 

---

It's okay, I feel quite sick and uncomfortable and really creeped out at biased people, too. Especially those who threaten to AR others without an actual reason as per TOS and who are incredibly rude about the whole thing. 

All she did was question why you felt that way, which is a valid question, and instead of politely declining to answer her, you went on to threaten her. What IS your reason for said AR that is in compliance with the TOS? I'd love to hear it.

I'd rather hang out with five child avi's than one of you. They tend to be much more polite and stay quiet as opposed to going out of their way to make others feel bad like you're doing here.

Shame on you.

[Magnus Brody]

Thanks for your reply.

As a clearly identified 50yo, I still feel creeped out to be asked to hang out with a 13yo, as I would be irl.

I politely indicated her profile made me uncomfortable, she persisted.  So rather than declining to answer, which I personally find more impolite, I indicated that I was uncomfortable.

Her last remark indicates this was ageplay, and not a genuine roleplayer, and it is under this section I decided to contact the lab.

I have been in sl for 8 years and this is only my 4th AR, therefore it was considered and not reactionary.  If I were reactionary, I'd have filed a few more of them by now.

We are visited by a few child avis in my sims, and polite to all of them, however they do not IM me randomly and ask me to hang out.

[So Whimsy]

---

Magnus Brody wrote:

Thanks for your reply.

As a clearly identified 50yo, I still feel creeped out to be asked to hang out with a 13yo, as I would be irl.

I politely indicated her profile made me uncomfortable, she persisted.  So rather than declining to answer, which I personally find more impolite, I indicated that I was uncomfortable.

Her last remark indicates this was ageplay, and not a genuine roleplayer, and it is under this section I decided to contact the lab.

I have been in sl for 8 years and this is only my 4th AR, therefore it was considered and not reactionary.  If I were reactionary, I'd have filed a few more of them by now.

We are visited by a few child avis in my sims, and polite to all of them, however they do not IM me randomly and ask me to hang out.

---

I'm close to my 7th rez day and have roleplayed for the past 12 years, what's your point with pointing that out? SL age and roleplay age are nothing, there's accounts from 2004 active right now that have no idea what they're doing due to long hiatuses. There's roleplayers playing for over five years and still do not understand the concept of third POV storybook style. It's simply not relevant.

And I have read the conversation over and over again, and quite honestly, to me there is nothing indicating that she wanted to ageplay, which is a hefty thing to read into it, and even worse to AR since you have absolutely no proof other than the feeling of being creeped out.

What I see is genuine curiosity about why you feel that way, a normal human reaction, and quite frankly, I would have inquired, too. The last of her statement also doesn't imply anything you, yourself don't want to read into. Clearly she has realised you're not interested to speak to a 13 year old avatar, hence her offer to change her age to perhaps portray her RL age. You're a DJ and a venue owner, perhaps that intrigued her and she wanted to have a conversation about it.

I think it's very poor form that you were this blunt about your feelings, going out of your way to tell us how child avi's make you sick. A gentleman would have politely declined and left it at that.

Again, to me, the conversation seems entirely innocent, but to an already biased person I can see what it might look like, whether that's the truth or not.

What rubs me entirely the wrong way is, that you filed an AR when you have not a single fact at hand. Filing a false AR, or an AR on a whim without solid proof can get YOU punished, did you know that with your eight years of SL experience? Perhaps next time you'll take a step back and not let your feelings cloud your judgment.

Edit: Any typos found you can keep, english isn't my mother language, and it's 3:30am. Off to bed to reload my inbuilt spellchecker. 

[Innula Zenovka]

I think, in your position, I'd have given her the opportunity to leave and then -- if she wanted to -- to return using an adult avatar, but you know best.   You felt uncomfortable on what appears to be your own land, and acted accordingly.    

I'm not going to try to second-guess the situation.   

[KarenMichelle Lane]

I made a decision long ago to accept the avatar's I see "as  Presented". This has worked out nicely as my particular fan base when I DJ includes a number of Teen & older Child AVIs. Now since I DJ Blues, Jazz, R&B, Soul and Rock as a general rule, I find that I do enjoy the attitude and enthusiasm my "Younger" fans bring to the chats when we discuss the music I'm playing.

Now, all of this said, I'm never had an inappropriate suggestion offered or even hinted at by one of my child/teen fans and I do have to admit they love being chatty as a general rule. Their knowledge of the era of music I specialize suggests that a number of them are in my age range which I find interesting.

If reliving a lost childhood as a child/teen AVI helps my fans, I'm all for it.

Now, Magnus, as to your queasiness with the AVI you encountered, The question posed "Oh, maybe you'd like to do something later?" is a bit off the mark and if I was offered this as a question, I would have simply dismissed it with a quick, "I'm sorry, I have a pretty busy SL so I'll have to pass."

It's an easy way to politely dismiss an unwanted offer of friendship or "advance" if you think that is what it meant to be.

Of course from your POV you offer a pair of regions for adults from all over the world to enjoy as they might in real life but I don't think this should exclude Teen/Child avatars if the content you offer is G in nature.

Many of the Teen/Child avatar members I've taken time to get to know are delightful and as far as I can tell are looking for friendship from a more innocent POV. I welcome these with open arms especially if they have open "Ears".

 

[Innula Zenovka]

I have an old friend who RPs with a child avatar, and he's delightful.   I told him if he wanted me to join in the RP he had to accept I'm his bossy and rather grump auntie who is usually too busy scripting to chat,and he accepts that.

It did give me the opportunity the other day, after I'd I'd not seen him for some while, to compliment his new mesh avatar, considerably smaller than the older version, with auntie-like cries of "My, haven't you shrunk! What a small boy you're growing into!".  

[KarenMichelle Lane]

---

Innula Zenovka wrote:

I have an old friend who RPs with a child avatar, and he's delightful.   I told him if he wanted me to join in the RP he had to accept I'm his bossy and rather grump auntie who is usually too busy scripting to chat,and he accepts that.

It did give me the opportunity the other day, after I'd I'd not seen him for some while, to compliment his new mesh avatar, considerably smaller than the older version, with auntie-like cries of "My, haven't you shrunk! What a small boy you're growing into!".  

---

I love it - Benjamin Buttons here we go !

P.S. I'm "Auntie" to several of the Teen/Child AVIs I've known for years. I totally understand.

[Madelaine McMasters]

Magnus, I do think you over-reacted. Though the chat you copied would have raised a hair or two on the back of my neck, I'd have played along until either that hair settled back down or an alarm bell rang. If I was busy, I'd have politely declined the invitation to "do something later".

I've had very few visceral reactions to encounters here in SL, only one of which resulted in me filing an AR. And there was no question in my mind that the person causing that reaction was violating the TOS.

I'm generally happy to give people the benefit of the doubt. If that benefit ends up being the rope with which they hang themselves, I can ameloriate the disappointment with the guilty pleasure of watching the the corpse swing in the hot breeze of my scorn.

;-).

[Marigold Devin]

---

Magnus Brody wrote:

I'd be grateful for your opinions.

 

I'm co-owner of a couple of sims which are based on a rl place, not rp.  We are a community and get visitors from all over the world.

 

We don't ban rp at all, but we are a very social community and generally discuss rl.

 

Now and then we are visted by child avis or families and, as a rl tourist attraction, we are welcoming and polite.  However I have always been ill at ease with adults rping children, but I realise that is part of sl and I suspend judgement.

Today, I had quite a freaky experience.  An avi, describing itself as a 13 years old girl, and with an avatar which was very small and in keeping with their profile desciption, visited an event I was holding.  I was concerned at their appearance enough that I checked their profile and became even more concerned when their "rl" pic was a very young female selfie.

The avi IM'd me without me making any welcome in local and the convo went like this...

[2014/05/11 12:12]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Hello.

[2014/05/11 12:12]  Magnus Brody: Hey

[2014/05/11 12:13]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): You're from UK too?

[2014/05/11 12:13]  Magnus Brody: yes

[2014/05/11 12:13]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Cool

[2014/05/11 12:15]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Do you own this place?

[2014/05/11 12:16]  Magnus Brody: Yes

[2014/05/11 12:16]  Magnus Brody: Sorry I'm djing, so sorting out tracks etc

[2014/05/11 12:16]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Oh, maybe you'd like to do something later?

[2014/05/11 12:19]  Magnus Brody: tbh I find your profile is something I'm not comfortable with

[2014/05/11 12:19]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): What do you mean?

[2014/05/11 12:20]  Magnus Brody: I prefer to talk to adults

[2014/05/11 12:21]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Oh, so you wont even concider talking to me?

[2014/05/11 12:21]  Magnus Brody: No, I feel a little creeped out by someone role playing a 13yo

[2014/05/11 12:22]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Why's that?

[2014/05/11 12:23]  Magnus Brody: Well, let's just say, I don't talk to 13yo rl or sl

[2014/05/11 12:23]  Magnus Brody: If you continue, I shall report this convo to the lab, as I feel it very creepy

[2014/05/11 12:23]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Sorry, report for what? I havent done anything

[2014/05/11 12:24]  Magnus Brody: I have told you I am creeped out, that should really be enough

[2014/05/11 12:24]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Okay, Im sorry.

[2014/05/11 12:25]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): If I were to change my age?

At this point I banned them.

I was left feeling quite sick and uncomfortable, really creeped out.  I found this approach very weird as my profile makes it quite clear I am nearly 50 and contains a photo to evidence I'm certainly within that ballpark.

Perhaps you think I overreacted and I would like your views.

As a larger discussion, is it acceptable to rp children in SL?  Is anyone else generally creeped out?

---

I'd have probably laughed off the offer of doing something later, and reminded the "child" that their parents would not like them talking to strangers - but I expect I have creeped you out some more by suggesting this. In fact, you didn't have to engage in conversation with them at all.

On the one hand you say your sims are a community, and you are welcoming and polite, and then you go and ban someone for really no reason that I can see. If there was something overtly sexual in her profile content or words to you, then a ban and an AR would have been appropriate, otherwise, you should have just given her the benefit of the doubt and accepted she just not a worldly wise person and likes to make friends with everyone, but kept your interaction to the barest polite minimum.

I'm a 51 year old woman in real life, and I think women generally get more opportunities to mix with children, friends being parents and grandparents. My friends and family don't stick their kids up in the attic here in the UK while the grown-ups have dinner parties. Kids are part of the family here - certainly in my area - finger buffet teas rule! (And when else would I get to play with Lego etc?)

"As a larger discussion, is it acceptable to rp children in SL?  Is anyone else generally creeped out?"

When I was first a resident in Second Life, I was a bit freaked out, I admit, when a child avatar was out shopping alone in a mall. I was almost sure it was an adult behind the avatar, but it momentarily seemed odd nonetheless for a child to be shopping alone. But that is the beauty of SL - you can play like a child without actually being a child, or you can be a child avatar and own a store.  Its a lot of fun to change form and tour the grid.  Over the years I've learned the value of family roleplay, have almost adopted a couple of kids myself,(and if you'd told me eight years ago I would do that I would have laughed at you).

You don't have to like it or accept it. Some people kill spiders, some people collect them in a jar to put safely outside.

 

 

 

 

[Canoro Philipp]

nice way to treat the ones that support you.

a ban for no reason, since you welcome child avatars, and an AR for no reason, because the avatar was not breaking any TOS rule.

just because that person, that even went as far as offering to change itself to please you, had a friendly conversation with you.

i dont know what do you call that, "great service", "welcoming place", politeness, let me tell you that that attitude really ruins what you want your sim to be.

so what if a person wants to be whatever s/he likes, a furry, a tiny, a child, another race, a vehicle, as long as they dont break your rules? since you say you welcome child avatars.

you blew it, that person didnt do anything to be punished, its just sad when sim owners just ban people that agree with their rules and decide to support the sim, just because the owners like the rush of a power trip.
thats why many sims dont make it.

[Pussycat Catnap]

---

Magnus Brody wrote:

 

[2014/05/11 12:23]  Magnus Brody: Well, let's just say, I don't talk to 13yo rl or sl

[2014/05/11 12:23]  Magnus Brody: If you continue, I shall report this convo to the lab, as I feel it very creepy

[2014/05/11 12:23]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Sorry, report for what? I havent done anything

[2014/05/11 12:24]  Magnus Brody: I have told you I am creeped out, that should really be enough

[2014/05/11 12:24]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Okay, Im sorry.

[2014/05/11 12:25]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): If I were to change my age?

At this point I banned them.

I was left feeling quite sick and uncomfortable, really creeped out.

---

There's no violation of the TOS for you to report when someone you don't care for merely talks politely to you.

Nor is there any offense in someone merely asking if you'd like to do something together later. People trying to be social is not a TOS violation.

 

[Pussycat Catnap]

@Syn: Completely off topic but where did you get the ears you're wearing in your profile image. Those look kind of nice.

[So Whimsy]

The ears are amazing, they are very subtly animated, and come with a hud to change to "Relaxed, Perky, Grumpy and Slouchy." Nowdays I have one ear at slouchy, the other at perky because that's what my cat likes to do in RL, and it's cute as hell The HUD and the ears themselves are incredibly well scripted and barely use any script time at all.

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/WISH-Fuzzy-Foxy-Ears/5573569

The resize option is incredibly efficent, too to the point where I can go from small cat ears, to fox size, to desert fox size. I'll stop gushing now  

On topic:

@OP: If child avatars really do make you sick and creep you out, why allow them in the club in the first place? It seems horribly hypocrital how you're absolutely prepared to take their Linden as tips and/or donations but ultimately think they're creepy as hell. Let me ask you...what the fudge? 

[Theresa Tennyson]

---

Magnus Brody wrote:

Thanks for your reply.

As a clearly identified 50yo, I still feel creeped out to be asked to hang out with a 13yo,

as I would be irl.

I politely indicated her profile made me uncomfortable, she persisted.  So rather than declining to answer, which I personally find more impolite, I indicated that I was uncomfortable.

Her last remark indicates this was ageplay, and not a genuine roleplayer, and it is under this section I decided to contact the lab.

I have been in sl for 8 years and this is only my 4th AR, therefore it was considered and not reactionary.  If I were reactionary, I'd have filed a few more of them by now.

We are visited by a few child avis in my sims, and polite to all of them, however they do not IM me randomly and ask me to hang out.

---

Why are you uncomfortable around young people in RL? That's the thing that stands out about being creepy in this whole thing.

[Sonja Smedley]

---

Theresa Tennyson wrote:

---

Magnus Brody wrote:

Thanks for your reply.

As a clearly identified 50yo, I still feel creeped out to be asked to hang out with a 13yo,

as I would be irl.

I politely indicated her profile made me uncomfortable, she persisted.  So rather than declining to answer, which I personally find more impolite, I indicated that I was uncomfortable.

Her last remark indicates this was ageplay, and not a genuine roleplayer, and it is under this section I decided to contact the lab.

I have been in sl for 8 years and this is only my 4th AR, therefore it was considered and not reactionary.  If I were reactionary, I'd have filed a few more of them by now.

We are visited by a few child avis in my sims, and polite to all of them, however they do not IM me randomly and ask me to hang out.

---

Why are you uncomfortable around young people in RL?

That's

the thing that stands out about being creepy in this whole thing.

---

Right, this is the same I thought about this thread.

To me it sounds like you have a problem with kids in general....why you feel creeped out If spending time with a 13 year old in RL?

For me it is only you who is interpreting something abnormal or possibly sexual in the situation and that is creepy!!!!

[Freya Mokusei]

---

Theresa Tennyson wrote:

Why are you uncomfortable around young people in RL?

That's

the thing that stands out about being creepy

---

Nah, you're reframing the issue.

I'm in my 20's and female, which makes me 'favourable' around children - men talking to non-dependent kids raises many eyebrows in Western/US culture - and this stigma is powerful. I am not surprised that adult males are made to feel uncomfortable from dealing with kids - understanding this is called empathy. It is not helpful to say that people who feel this pressure from society are themselves weird.

If a 13 year-old walked up to me while I was on my own property in Real Life, and asked me to play xBox with them? I'd be like Nope, go bug your parents. That'd be weird. They're not my responsibility and I've got adult (as in grown-up) stuff to do. Even if I wanted to hang out in that situation, would it be appropriate for me to spend an afternoon with a child whom I didn't know? And had never met (or informed) their parents? I'd be surprised if you said yes.

Further - obviously - this avatar does not have a mental age of 13. They knew they were interacting with an adult and decided to continue to roleplay. This is fair enough on the condition that the non-roleplayer accepts the continuation, but I'm pretty confident that the OP did not do this (and it seems like he made that fairly clear). Pushing a roleplay onto someone that doesn't want to be involved in it is rude at best. This is the same rule as goes for every other roleplayer in Second Life - don't involve others without knowing they're happy to get involved with you.

It looks like the avatar was trying to say "Well, how about I grow up a bit?" (which is the correct response to 'no, I don't want to deal with your roleplay while talking to you'), but this was mis-understood by the OP.

 There's a billion and one reasons why an adult roleplaying a child in a virtual environment is not analogus to happy and comfortable relationships with young people in RL. Child avatars share nothing in common with real life children, aside from the height that they're percieved to be.

[So Whimsy]

---

Freya Mokusei wrote:

---

Theresa Tennyson wrote:

Why are you uncomfortable around young people in RL?

That's

the thing that stands out about being creepy

---

Nah, this is distortion.

I'm in my 20's and female, which makes me 'favourable' around children - men talking to non-dependent kids raises many eyebrows in Western/US culture - and this stigma is powerful. I am not surprised that adult males are made to feel uncomfortable from dealing with kids - understanding this is called empathy.

If a 13 year-old walked up to me while I was on my own property in Real Life, and asked me to play xBox with them? I'd be like Nope, go bug your parents. That'd be weird. They're not my responsibility and I've got adult (as in grown-up) stuff to do. Even if I wanted to hang out in that situation, would it be appropriate for me to spend an afternoon with a child whom I didn't know? And had never met (or informed) their parents? I'd be surprised if you said yes.

Further - obviously - this avatar does not have a mental age of 13. They knew they were interacting with an adult and decided to continue to roleplay. This is fair enough on the condition that the non-roleplayer accepts the continuation, but I'm pretty confident that the OP did not do this (and it seems like he made that fairly clear). Pushing a roleplay onto someone that doesn't want to be involved in it is rude at best. It looks like the avatar was trying to say "Well, how about I grow up a bit?" (which is the correct response to 'no, I don't want to deal with your roleplay while talking to you'), but this was mis-understood by the OP.

 There's a billion and one reasons why an adult roleplaying a child in a virtual environment is not analogus to happy and comfortable relationships with young people in RL. They share almost nothing in common aside from the height that they're percieved to be.

---

What she did was not rolplaying. Roleplaying is something else entirely. Merely being a child avatar, or furry, or demon or whatsoever in SL does not mean they are roleplaying at all. I myself am a Neko most of the time. Do I roleplay? Within Second Life hardly ever. I also own a toddleedoo avatar, with which I hardly roleplay with either, I just enjoy running through SL without being propositioned to have sex. 

Nothing about the text indicated she was roleplaying, the point that she was willing to change to an adult avatar to have a conversation strongly underlines the fact that she was indeed not roleplaying. Someone who does roleplay will stay IC and they'd never change shapes/species/whatnot unless it was relevant to the rp plot. 

[Amie Kaestner]

First impressions can say a lot. Don't feel bad, I think you were absolutely right to question why someone roleplaying a 13-year-old girl messaged you specifically after seeing your profile.

"You doing anything later?" definitely sounded seedy.

Child avatars rub me the wrong way too. Sure, it could be an adult engaging in some harmless roleplay, but people in this thread seem to be pretending that SL isn't inhabited by bad people. 

 

[Syo Emerald]

And you seem to like to pretend all child avatars are pedophiles and their only goal is it to drag random people into questionable actions.

It doesn't work that way.

[So Whimsy]

---

Amie Kaestner wrote:

but people in this thread seem to be pretending that SL isn't inhabited by bad people. 

 

---

Ah, the age old "A lot of people do not share my opinion so must be pretending" excuse. Let me quote Syo here:

---

Syo Emerald wrote:

It doesn't work that way.

---

 

 

 

[Phil Deakins]

I've only read the first two posts but, imo, the line [2014/05/11 12:16]  13yo Avi (13yo Avi): Oh, maybe you'd like to do something later means only one thing, especially as it came at the start and without making friends or anything like that, in spite of the fact that you are both in the UK was established. I meet other people from the UK and nobody suddenly suggests doing anything on the strength of it. It may have meant something else, but that's my opinion. In your place, and if I wasn't too busy, I might even have asked what she had in mind for later, and pursued that in conversation to the point where it became blatantly obvious (if my suspicion was correct), and then reported it.

However, I'm as comfortable with child avatars as with any other avatars. Some of them look really cute and make me smile, just like some furries look really cute and make me smile. The only time I keep an eye on them is when they are in my store, in which I sell sex furniture among other stuff. If I see a child avatar there, I watch it to make sure it doesn't try out any of the sex animations. So far I've never seen one do that. Other than that, they are as welcome around me as anyone else, and I don't understand why anyone would feel uncomfortable with them around. I don't feel uncomfortable in the presence of RL children, and I don't feel uncomfortable in the presence of SL children.

[Freya Mokusei]

---

Syn Anatine wrote:

What she did was not rolplaying. Roleplaying is something else entirely. Merely being a child avatar, or furry, or demon or whatsoever in SL does not mean they are roleplaying at all.

---

She's playing a role. The role of a 13 year-old human child, which she is not in real life. I use the term roleplayer to distinguish child avatars from child users (which are not allowed within Second Life). Nekos, demons and other anthromorphic animals and mythical stuff doesn't exist in real life so this distinction isn't required.

My opinion remains that she was attempting to control the topics of conversation by framing herself visually as a child. I consider it rude to try and engage with someone who is an adult as if you were a child - especially without prior (adult-to-adult) introduction - a biological Uncanny Valley exists here.

The important bit:-

People react weirdly to things that pretend to be human children, this is not new information. The exchange ended entirely predictably. Some people in Second Life have learnt to ease this concern, but please don't pretend that acceptance is the normal reaction, or that there's any similarity between this situation and a real human child. That's just projecting, and probably a little wishful thinking.

What reactions like yours do is punish normal responses. It's not helpful to do this by framing it as "maybe your problem is with real things", because it's both confrontational and inaccurate. The only result will be that people walk away assuming you're delusional or combative - they won't learn anything from you because you're tackling the wrong end of the problem. You'd do better teaching acceptance of the difference, not punishing the initial gut reaction when confronted with the difference. Acceptance of child avatars will always be a learned response. Your distortion of the issue will cause more confusion and arguing of semantics down the line.

I hope this helps clarify.