Sexually Harrased :(

[Meggie Seerose]

Thanks to everyone who replied.. good and bad replies.

I've decided to delete this theard (wish there was a button)

No matter how "silly" you think my topic was, or how stupid it was it happened to me, so respect what I say instead of judging me. Anyways. Thanks to all the supportive people. And to the morons go screw yourselfs.

[Kat Messioptra]

While I sympathize with you about this issue there are ways to protect yourself and make sure this type of unwanted touch does not happen again.

 

There is a tool, on your Xcite HuD that enables you to Allow or Ignore people from accessing your 'parts'.

If you do not have the control panel I urge you to get one, it makes using the product much easier.

 

http://www.getxcite.com/help/article.php?id=229

This will walk you though how to use your control panel to use the ignore and allow feature.

 

Best of luck in the future, and again I'm sorry you have such a rude neighbor, reporting him/her was the best thing you could have done.

[Baloo Uriza]

Please see the Linden Research Harassment Policy for the official answer.

[Untameable Wildcat]

It's also possible to set your excite bits so that they use an access list, and if an avatar's name is not on the access list, nothing happens when they touch.  No menu, no posing, no nothing.  It just ignores them.  Check the documentation to find out how that works.

 

Edit:  In fact, it's probably better to create a "white list" - that is, a list of people ALLOWED to touch, if there's only a few people on it, rather than using the "black list" and having to ban everyone by name.

[Prokofy Neva]

This sort of harassment is unacceptable, and I take it seriously as a rentals manager and I don't trivialize it, as some do, by saying "it's only pixels" or "RL sexual harassment and rape are worse and therefore put it all in perspective."

 

Well, we are supposed to be making a better world, and online people are supposed to have freedoms without being able to take them away from others -- which is what happens when you don't take this problem seriously.

 

So here's my advice, in addition to what others are saying here, as not all products are configurable and when you are attacked in this way, you can't always get your wits about you to go into "edit" mode and start trying to fix things.

 

Locked doors and security orbs can't prevent something like this from happening, as there isn't any true privacy in SL given the capacity of camera zoom.

 

You can take a preventative measure by using a free avatar radar hud that will show on your screen whether avatars are in range -- and then you can see if strangers are approaching. You can also use a visitor list script in your home to see if anyone is using your furniture while you are away, and then ban them next time you are online.

 

If you are attacked, while it can be hard to do and you feel angry and entitled to your time online, especially if you are paying for a rental, you must log off. Even five minutes will help break the chain of attention that griefers thrive on. If you are not there to react, they will move on. It helps you become composed and realize that while your avatar is an extension of yourself, it's under your control and you can use log-offs to stop an attack like this. Another option is to teleport away to a landmark in your inventory or to another place on the sim.

 

When you log back on, change the log on place to a generic welcome area like

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Waterhead/128/128/23 r

ather than your own land so you don't land back in the middle of the harassment. Then approach your land and ban the person harassing you. Be sure to abuse report and include the chat history.

 

Although sometimes griefers are day-old alts, if you find a sexual harasser like this who isn't a day-old then it's good to publicize the name in groups so that others can ban the person from their land and that some sort of community condemnation might work.

[Baloo Uriza]

Do wear clothes before landing at any mainland safehub or infohub like Waterhead or the locations I'm suggesting.  I would probably aim for Oritz Safehub or Arapaima Safehub instead as they tend to be less inhabited and more forgiving and mature in terms of the locals.

[Indeterminate Schism]

While you should absolutely AR him for this behaviour you should not post the IM here, including his name, or you could find yourself being reported.

Now we know who he is though, when are we having a pitchfork barbecue with the SOB?

[Ann Otoole]

if your home is not on Zindra then all sorts of bad implications are possible. Have you tried putting a skybox at 4000 meters and hanging out there?

[Itazura Radio]

Without making any excuses for the person who did this I have to object to adding hyperbole to the reality of what happened here. Using words like "attack" and "rape" to describe having a scripted attachment touched without permission in a virtual world while you are sitting at home, safe and sound behind your computer does a disservice to the seriousness of what those words are meant to stand for.

 

Referring to something as trivial in comparison to the real thing as having a scripted naughty part clicked on as "harassment" or "rape" detracts from the impact of the true act those words actually describe.

 

Anyone who has been harassed or attacked in real life; where you cannot tp away, where people know who you are, where your life or livelyhood is actually being threatened, where you are truly powerless to make them stop is VERY different from what happens in a virtual world where none of these things genuinely apply.

 

Yes, it is annoying. Yes, it is wrong. Yes, it is frustrating. But to refer to it in the same terms as a real life attack is, in my view, offensive to many of those who have experienced the real thing. I would ask everyone to please stop it.

 

My recommendation is to read the instructions first before putting something so personal on. As many have said, most of these items have a feature that turns them off or limits the individuals allowed to use them to avoid the very situation you describe.

[Casval Viper]

I agree 100%.

[Borat Sciavo]

AHAHAHAHA, sorry but this is hilarious. Seriously, get over it, some douche touched your scipted part of your TOON and this made you cry??  If you take this game this serious then maybe you should take a break...you're losing touch with reality. <3

[Unklebob Hotaling]

She was in her own sl home, with her partner doing private stuff, on a private properly... surely she should be entitled to that.

Some lowlife cams from across some other properly, through the walls, to get their jolly's playing with her Xcite... and it's her reaction thats the topic of discussion?  There are some things people should have a certain respect for online or not, and it's unfortunate some don't clue into that... if i'm wrong about that i'm happily wrong.  I don't buy into the 'its a game so i can do wtf ever i want and what other people think or want has no meaning'.

If you don't know how personal some people take their Xcite and some sl husbands take a total 'hands off' approach as far as their wife's go, or how its actually a sl act of respect you ask a woman first.. now you do.

(now if she was in public and didn't have her Xcite muted, that would be different, but she was at home with her guy... )

[Meggie Seerose]

First off I think your a moron. Just to let you know

 

As for everyone else wanting to know...

The moron neighbor moved out of the neighbor hood, and I haven't had any problems since.

Some people don't agree with how I think, and some people did. Either which - you should remember someone's feelings, and before judging on how upset I was, rather then being a ass hole you should remember someone has feelings behind that computer screen. Even if your a mindless idiot saying nothing bothers you.

 

Other then that. Thanks for reading

 

Meggie Seerose

[Brigid Kira]

You know yes for most people this is just a game and shouldn't be taken so seriously. However there are some of us who use this as a medium to interact with our RL partners as well as RL friends. My partner and I are doing a long distance thing until the summer and I would be horrified and feel exactly as this woman should something like this happen to me and my partner.  It is one reason our home is 3000 Meters up however not everyone has that luxury.

This guy is a scumbag and needs to have his account suspended he had no right to touch her uninvited.

Good job standing up for yourself and filing the AR I just hope that LL steps up and does the right thing.

[Lola Longully]

lots of valuable advice there, Meggie, and I think we all jknow which TWO creeps we need to mute and put on our banned lists

[Shiva Draconia]

I can see where the above comment is coming from, but I'd just like to say my bit.

 

No, I don't think what happened should be classed as 'rape', because it wasn't...in a physical sense. I would personally class rape as a physical thing, but that's jsut me.

 

Harrassment, yes. An attack, yes. Abuse, yes.

 

Just because it was in a cybernetic environment, does not make the other three any less true. There isn't jsut physical harrasment in the world, or physical attaks, or physical abuse, is there? There are verbal and mental forms as well...which is what this was, in my opinion.

 

I think, asking people to stop calling something like this harrassment because it's not physical, would be like asking us to stop calling mental torture abuse...it's a similar situation, as far as I can see.

 

Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion, this is mine.

[Rust Gearbox]

Some of the replies here are so hilarious it's hard to believe that these people are serious and not simply trolling. To say that you were attacked or raped because someone clicked your stupid little xcite object you bought is possibly the most insulting thing in the entire world to anyone who has actually experienced those things. Are you so completely detached from reality that an object you just got that spits out green-text lines when someone touches it becomes an analog for your genitalia in real life?

You realize it's just an object with a touch_start event on it and some simple dialog options?

Boo hoo, someone touched an object you attached that, get this, is explicitly meant to be touched. If you didn't read your instruction manual it's because of your own ignorance that (a completely harmless) annoyance fell upon you. It's not an "attack" and it's not "rape," it's "some dude touched my touch-object, but I was ignorant and didn't set the permissions correctly, so some guy touched it who I didn't want touching it."

I'm still hoping this is some kind of elaborate troll trying to see how many sympathy posts they can get because this entire ordeal is silly. It shouldn't be Linden Lab's job to punish people for using a third-party object as intended just because the user was too ignorant to set it up correctly.

[Lola Longully]

of course, there had to be a creep #3 ... and more to come I'm sure

[Borat Sciavo]

Well said, mate. I really dont mean to be a jerk, but SERIOUSLY, all of you people who are takeing such silly shenanegans on SL so serious should step out of their parents homes and experience life and love outside of their computer!!!!. Then again if you think SL is overwhelming then maybe you shouldnt...

[Baeric Constantine]

The comments that belittle how a person feels, reacts in a given situation is doing exactly wht you claim the author of this forum is doing. It shows a complete lack of understanding of the entire seriousness of this issue and it is not less than that of the world away from secondlife. The fact it is a virtual reality does not in any way decry from the serious of what took place.

It would show as much that perhaps there is a partaking in similar behaviour? Now, dont get annoyed, because as you said it is not actually taking place is it?

My recommendations is that you withhold from making comment until you gain a deeper understanding of the entire issue.

[Baeric Constantine]

Such a response shows only your character... as one person said to me recently: A person's nature is shown how they are in the light and their character is how they are in the dark. You, sir, are obviously living in the dark.

[Baeric Constantine]

This comment again shows a lack of understanding and comprehension and I would suggest that you take part in such behaviour. Your response indicates that you undermine how people feel... and that you ignore that some actions can take place without having to accept a yes or no dialogue box. It amounts to harrassment including rape where a person so feels that has taken place, whether or not an actual act has taken place or not. If this comment upsets you, please re-read your own... as of course nothing occurred here at all according to your comment.

[Baeric Constantine]

" I really dont mean to be a jerk..." says it all... doesnt it. You are one... but of course this not real, it is not happening, so you should not really take offence then should you? No, I thought not. So no need to respond further. As of course, its not serious is it?

[Lindal Kidd]

No matter how "silly" you think my topic was, or how stupid it was it happened to me, so respect what I say instead of judging me. Anyways. Thanks to all the supportive people. And to the morons go screw yourselfs.

 

I'm sorry, I have to say it:  SEXUAL HARRASSMENT!

Seriously, though, even though your avatar is a cartoon, it DOES feel like rape, of a sort.  I know, I've experienced it.  It takes an effort of will to step away from your immersion and treat it as happening to pixels on the screen, instead of to you personally.

As others mentioned, there are security features in Xcite equipment and other scripted body parts that can prevent this.  I'll recommend one more:  Don't wear your Xcite bits until you are ready to use them, in private, with your partner.

[Meta Starostin]

Cyberbullying "involves the use of information and communication  technologies to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior by an  individual or group, that is intended to harm others. -Bill Belsey"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyber-bullying

[Pussycat Catnap]

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/necropost

Verb

Infinitive to necropost

Third person singular necroposts

Simple past necroposted

Past participle necroposted

Present participle necroposting

to necropost (third-person  singular simple present necroposts,  present participle necroposting,  simple past and past participle necroposted)

1. (Internet) To post, as on a  forum, to revive a long inactive discussion  thread.