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So I broke the one rule I have followed for 3 years... Never fall for someone.. and I did.. sadly. I knew it would end in them finding another person.. so I'm of course hurt. I am not looking for pity but its been so long my heart has been vulnerable I don't know what to do. How do you get over heart break. What do I do to make myself forget.. I feel... at a loss and angry I let myself fall for someone even though I know better. Any help would be appreciated thanks so much.

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Oh, Sephina,

"What do I do to make myself forget."

You wait it out. The neurochemistry of this takes time to dissipate. And although we're understanding that this is neurochemistry, I don't know that we're any closer to figuring out how to alleviate the pain, other than to do what we've always done. Deny, rant, bargain, get depressed (chocolate helps here) and accept.

We're actually pretty good at forgiving (others and ourselves) and forgetting. It comes naturally, but you can't rush it.

Hugs,
Maddy

 

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YOU GO ON FRIENDLY ADVENTURES WITH THE LOCAL MOOSE AND LISTEN TO HIM SCREAM BECAUSE IMMERSIVA IS REALLY SCARY.

 

But really, like Madeleine says.. Takes time. Go do what you want, talk to people, go on adventures :) 
Getting  over people sucks, but give it time and it will be long gone

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Sephina Frostbite wrote:

So I broke the one rule I have followed for 3 years... Never fall for someone.. and I did.. sadly. I knew it would end in them finding another person.. so I'm of course hurt. I am not looking for pity but its been so long my heart has been vulnerable I don't know what to do. How do you get over heart break. What do I do to make myself forget.. I feel... at a loss and angry I let myself fall for someone even though I know better. Any help would be appreciated thanks so much.

I feel your pain Sephina be cause I am there myself. I lost my partner of more than 5 years.

Trying to stand on my own two pixel seems rather hard to be honest.. but im trying my best...

But I can only say like Mrs Maddie did, that the only thing that works, is time... and it takes quiet a bit of it... Only time heals, so find something to do in the meantime, try to stay busy somehow, I been working my butt off with my shop and finally now I begin to heal, but its been a long road.

Allow yourself to be sad and upset, you need to get it out of your system, dont hide it and hold it inside...

Big warm hugs

Lis

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  • 3 weeks later...

From a rather shy person...

I've had a horrible time making any real substantial connection with anyone in "second life."  The drama, is the worst.  I wish I could offer some comforting advice, but all I can do is sympathize. 

After spending nearly a year dating different kinds of people I'd thought I'd struck gold, but it wasn't meant to be.  Threats from Ex's and jealous admirers "of my potential partner" made the relationship very difficult, and in the end, impossible for me to sustain.

I've sought solace with friends, but nothing will ever really take the heart ache away... except perhaps time.


Stand fast and don't give up.  There is someone out there...somewhere who will add to your life in a positive way.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Having survived a few years of upsets from relationship troubles, one of them an SL relationship that lead to a RL relationship, I can give you a few pieces of advice. 

Eat well. Especially, eat some healthy, tasty foods while visiting SL.

Don't be afraid to talk about the relationship with good friends. Talk it out. But set a limit on how long you're going to speak about it each time you do. Choose to discuss it for 15 minutes, then move on.

Every time you feel the heartache welling up, open up a Notecard, write out your pain and hurt, and store it in a folder. Take deep breaths, cry if you need to, but write until the feelings slowly wind down. 

Put up a picture of the two of you in your Linden home, a small one. Let those memories of good times be good times, and don't be afraid to show people you're moving forwards.

Find a new friend, or place to go, and don't talk about the old pain. Try and focus on having fun in a new way, building a new experience.

Remember that it is normal, and good that you feel this pain. It means you're alive and have real feelings. The pain will shrink over time, and one day you'll wake up and have a day where you barely think about this old pain at all. And when you realize this day has come, take a deep breath and smile. 

Delete something they gave you, something you really don't want anymore. Say goodbye as you do. 

I hope a single one of these help! I still hurt once in a while, but am glad I never turned away friendship and love when it presented itself once again. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
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