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How do I talk to people?


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I've been on SL for about four months, but I still don't talk to anyone. It freaks me out to even try! I usually just shop or roam around parks. 

So yea, I don't know how to make friends. :( Do I just say hello to people? Won't they be bothered? Ugh it's so difficult!

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morganbelarius wrote: [...] 
but I still don't talk to anyone. It freaks me out to even try! [...]

Why? About the worst that will happen is that some will reply rudely, but you need to put that possibility in perspective: there will always be rude people; the trick is to learn to just shrug them off and keep trying until you find the good ones. And you will.

Unless you don't even try.

 

 


morganbelarius wrote: [...] 
Do I just say hello to people? Won't they be bothered? [...]

 Not anymore than you would. Whoever is bothered by just a 'hello' pretty much automatically tags himself as unworthy of your attention. In fact, it's even a useful reaction: you won't have to waste your time with someone who only later will reveal him/herself an idiot so, again, you'll have more time to focus on the good ones.

 

 

P.S: I do get that you're extremely shy, for whatever reason. So am I. But if there's a single thing I've learn about socializing, is that there's no 'infallible method' or 'manual' for it... just this: keep trying.

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Welcome to Second Life Forums, morgan, and the start of a type of "conversation" with strangers from around the world.

How scary was it to start this forum thread?  On a scale of 1-10, where 1 = not at all scary, to 10 = I'm looking at the responses on this thread through my fingers scary-as-heck?

Some days I feel like being quiet and go into a group situation just to watch other people and how they interact. Other times I find myself chattering away.  More often than not though, someone will have read my profile, have decided I might be interesting to get to know, and they'll buzz me with an IM.  What's your profile like? Find some interests to list, places you've visited and added to your profile picks maybe, and there's a start, your profile can 'talk' for you at first (which is much better than in real life where you don't have that much of a clue what someone is going to be like unless they are the type to be wearing odd shoes or a tee shirt that says "I'm with stupid" on it, or something. ;)

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Most of my (non customer) friends in SL I made after discovering forums. Over time I get a better idea of who a person is from reading their posts than by reading a profile. 

I also have customers who are just so very nice, and I have known so long, I consider friends as well, and enjoy chatting with them inworld.

I don't actually DO anything in SL besides run my business, so not a very fun friend :-)

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Belated welcome to SL, Morgan!

Taking the first step can be daunting, but if you don't do it, it often won't get done. You've already figured that out. Yes, you actually do just say hello to people. The hardest part is realizing that you won't look like a fool for doing so.

Now and then I'll drop into a new venue where I know absolutely nobody. Many here on the forums can probably guess the first line I utter after doing so. It's... "Hi, Kids!!!" That invariably gets me at least one "Hello Madelaine" in return, and off I go.

People will not show interest in you if you don't show interest in them. And even then, they may not show interest if they're busy with friends already. You've got to be a li'l tenacious and not be bothered by rejection. I suppose finding friends here is like getting an acting job in Hollywood. It isn't that people are bothered, but that they're busy, and... wait for it... they may be as nervous about meeting you as you are of meeting them.

Put more information in your profile, so that people who may be nervous about saying hello have at least a little something to grab onto. Make yourself look inviting. I won't say that mine's a good example to copy, but I will say that over my six years (today in fact!) in SL, I've had at least a dozen people contact me out of the blue because I mention Dr. Richard Feynman in my profile. You'd be surprised what can open people up.

Look up Hippie Bowman and join his Breakfast Group. It's a moveable feast, open to all, at which you'll meet some welcoming people.

Good luck, I'm rooting for you, we're all in this together.

;-)

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First off, belated Happy Rez Day Maddy! 

 

 I just want to add a little to what people have already said. Filling out your profile is a great way to make yourself more inviting it's true, but reading other people's profiles is the best way to find ice breakers. I'm with you, I feel uncomfortable and silly saying hi to people I don't know. So I browse profiles, look at the nearby people list when I go somewhere and start opening profiles. When there is something interesting or funny or sad or profound on one, I chime in with my two cents :D     

Welcome to SL, feel free to message me inworld if you want a little practice reaching out :)

 

(by the way, what happened to spell check?? D: I neeeeeed it!)

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Howdy....and as everyone else said, Welcome to the Wonderful World of Second Life.

My question to you is where have you been trying to talk to people? If it's in a club, then there's probably too many conversations going on and you'll get lost in the barrage...THAT in itself, can be frustrating and put you off.

I agree wholeheartedly with joining Hippie's group. Even though I haven't been there in a while (due to RL work and stuff), it's a fantastic place to meet other people and just chill and chat (just make sure that Maddy doesn't try to steal your keys... :matte-motes-sunglasses-3:). It was great to finally sit down and talk to a lot of the forum dwellers in person after only meeting them through posts in the forums for so long.

What I might suggest also, if you haven't done it already, is to go into the search function and find some groups that spark your interests...movies, music, dancing..there are live performances all over SL as well. Once you're in there, join the group...especially if they're free (you get 42 of them, so don't be shy) and then send out a group IM or send an IM to the moderator of the group. Worst case is that no one responds..but you never know. It's a nice way to see other people and find out what fun things might be going on through the group or other places inworld.

Anyway...if I can ever get my s**t together and head off to another breakfast, I look forward to seeing you there.

Good luck....

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Hippie Bowman wrote:

OMG! I missed your rez day Maddy? I hope that it was fun and full of mayhem! Hugs!

 

Peace!

You missed nothing, Hippie. My rez day is in October. The first Maddy, Madelaine Marbach, arrived in SL on April 6, 2008. As in RL, I don't celebrate birthdays, just Mondays.

;-)

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UncommonTruth wrote:

First off, belated Happy Rez Day Maddy! 

 

 I just want to add a little to what people have already said. Filling out your profile is a great way to make yourself more inviting it's true, but reading other people's profiles is the best way to find ice breakers. I'm with you, I feel uncomfortable and silly saying hi to people I don't know. So I browse profiles, look at the nearby people list when I go somewhere and start opening profiles. When there is something interesting or funny or sad or profound on one, I chime in with my two cents
:D
    

Welcome to SL, feel free to message me inworld if you want a little practice reaching out
:)

 

(by the way, what happened to spell check?? D: I neeeeeed it!)

Thanks for the birthday wishes, they're more for the woman in the chair than the avatar, as the birthday marks the sixth anniversay of the creation of my first avatar here, not the one I currently inhabit.

I imagine that the last Linden who attempted to log into the spell checker's administrative control panel was unable to spell "Administrator" and the feature was disabled as a result.

This is why everybody should use their imagination.

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I was the same Morgan...I hung out in the forest, learning how to do things before I was confident to go places. I did talk to people who I saw there a few times and two of them are still my good friends now. Ive been around  year now and still make mistakes but I dont worry so much now. 

I came to this forum much later. Wish Id come here first. Its a great place to get your questions answered.

Perseverance is my best advice....try and practice until you get there....its fun even if it doesnt go right.

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