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Only ever IM you when they need you to write a script for them, or need a build, or need music edited...

I find more and more, unless I send a message to people to make casual conversation, they only ever talk to me when they need my technical expertise. The friends I had that used to talk to me just for the sake of talking to me don't seem to use SL anymore.

Do we all have "friends" like this?

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I wish.  I would love friends who would send an IM to ask for help or to ask if I wanted to join them someplace.  'Talking for the sake of talking' is ... extremely boring, in my opinion.

Good IM's:

  • "Hey, we're down at suchandsuch club and listening to a really good live guitarist.  Wanna come?'
  • "Oh, hey, can you do a profile pic for me sometime?"
  • "Can you tell me where you found that hair in that one pic?"

Bad IM's:

  • "Hi."
  • "How r u?"
  • "Wut r u doing?"
  • "How was ur day?"
  • "Why do u have me on ignore?"
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Janelle Darkstone wrote:

I wish.  I would love friends who would send an IM to ask for help or to ask if I wanted to join them someplace.  'Talking for the sake of talking' is ... extremely boring, in my opinion.

Good IM's:
  • "Hey, we're down at suchandsuch club and listening to a really good live guitarist.  Wanna come?'
  • "Oh, hey, can you do a profile pic for me sometime?"
  • "Can you tell me where you found that hair in that one pic?"

Bad IM's:
  • "Hi."
  • "How r u?"
  • "Wut r u doing?"
  • "How was ur day?"
  • "Why do u have me on ignore?"

To me, that bolded option there doesn't belong with the other two. I'd love to get either of the other two from time to time- all I ever get is the "can you do [this] for me?" Never because they want to see my latest creation or show off some item or location.

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"I’d always end up broken down on the highway. When I stood there trying to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But when I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself—people like to see that." — Chris Rock

If they aren't learning, it's time to stop teaching.  Maybe it's time to remove some of those people?

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Janelle Darkstone wrote:

"I’d always end up broken down on the highway. When I stood there trying to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But when I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself—people like to see that." — Chris Rock

If they aren't learning, it's time to stop teaching.  Maybe it's time to remove some of those people?

Yeah, I started doing that. Pretty soon the only people on my list will be the ones that haven't logged in for months.

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I think sometimes there is a tendency for people to get lost in their own little worlds in SL.

They forget that there are other people out there beside the one or two they hang out with on a regular basis.

I don't think it's really intentional.  But I can only carry on so many conversations simultaneously before I start getting my mords wixed and my IM's crossed. 

I'll look at my friends list and realise I haven't spoken with some one in ages.  So at least for me I take some time occasionally to at least touch base.  Not everyone is proactive like this.  Mostly because they are focussed on whatever bright shiney object happens to have captured their attention at the time.

For me the number of people who I chat with regularly has dwindled.  Most of my original SL friends don't log in any more and sometimes it seems harder to make new friends.  I don't know why but sometimes it is harder for me to relate with new folks.  In a sense they are not my peer group.  I graduated from walking into walls a long time ago.  Because I have been here longer I get treated a little more like a mentor by them.

So yes, sometimes it is a problem.

But I still have fun and enjoy much of what SL has to offer.

Just like RL, in SL  friends come and they go.

The best I know is for me to stay proactive to stay in touch.

The more I do it, the more I find others doing it with me also.

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charge them gadget, make something up if you have to.

you are a smart guy to turn to and i'm sorry friendship isn't working out much for you right now. there will be other times again, it's not that easy to find someone or even sometwo you click and spend all your time with at all. sl can be a very boring and lonely place.

 

:)

 

 

 

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Usually how I do it is each person I add to my friends list gets one favor from me on the house then if they do a favor for me i write it down and make sure to do something for them at sometime in the future like if they are hosting/djing I drop what I'm doing and show up for their event at the club some people I would use to give giftcards too i only have a few friends that will come hang out with me any time to try something new to them I'm doing for fun

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Gadget,

    You can IM me, if you'd like, I'm on SL evenings. I always feel bad if I even think of asking someoen for help other then maybe advise. So I'd be 'could you do this for me' free, lol. Mybe we'd get along, maybe not, but worth a try, right? You never know until you start talking ^_^

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Maybe don't smile when you see them?

Maybe you always busy?

Maybe you are not very friendly?

Maybe you reply IM 23 seconds too layte?

Maybe is you?

 

That woman Jannelle is very right. She not pretend she is nice so people who talk to her are either noobs or people pretending to be her friend. 

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Um... Gadget, sweety... I hope I'm not disturbing you, but I could really use your help.  You see, I really need a script for this music box I'm trying to build... I say trying, because it's not going very well.  If it's not too much of an imposition, would you being willing to help me figure out how to build it?  I'll be eternally grateful.

Oh yeah, I also seem to be having difficulty uploading the music for it... I'm thinking it's a bit too long or something?  You know about these things, right?  Maybe I could send it to you to look at for me when you have time?  I'm sure you could figure it out right away, because your just so amazing like that.

Oh, and btw... hi, how are you?

...Dres

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  • 2 weeks later...


Gadget Portal wrote:

Only ever IM you when they need you to write a script for them, or need a build, or need music edited...

I find more and more, unless I send a message to people to make casual conversation, they only ever talk to me when they need my technical expertise. The friends I had that used to talk to me just for the sake of talking to me don't seem to use SL anymore.

Do we all have "friends" like this?

Egads!  I'd LOVE to have some friend's who IMd me just to ask me to do some skill related task.

Want to swap some friend's?!   *smiles*

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Celestiall Nightfire wrote:


Gadget Portal wrote:

Only ever IM you when they need you to write a script for them, or need a build, or need music edited...

I find more and more, unless I send a message to people to make casual conversation, they only ever talk to me when they need my technical expertise. The friends I had that used to talk to me just for the sake of talking to me don't seem to use SL anymore.

Do we all have "friends" like this?

Egads!  I'd LOVE to have some friend's who IMd me just to ask me to do some skill related task.

Want to swap some friend's?!   *smiles*

Would it make you feel any better if I IM you next time I need someone highly skilled in connecting alts? :matte-motes-big-grin-squint:

...Dres

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Yes Gadget , i know exactly how you feel. many of my "friends have not talked for ages and all of a sudden they go without even a "hi" "hey sierra can you come and do this or that?" I will definitely show them how but will not do it anymore for them. Recently i have started clearing up my "friend list", if we have no iteraction for about 10 days i see no reason of watching them log on and off. There should be a nice balance between "hi how are you" and "requiring your skills" ims.

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