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Satioh

Does this place/people exist in SL?

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I've been lurking around forums and SL hangouts about bondage/BDSM etc for quite some time now. I'm wanting to explore my submissive side, but there is a few things that would make it very hard to find a Master/Dom. 

Firstly I've never tried it out, so I don't really know what I would like or not, so I can't really dicuss and make that clear infront, but it has to be tried out, so a potential Master/Dom won't know what he is getting and also have to deal with me beeing some sort of a newb. I feel a bit attracted to beeing dominated and bondage, but not sure if I'm a natural sub, maybee a switch, but with stronger tendacy to wanting to be dominate, than dominating myself. Also I know I would never make it go into RL. For me SL and RL are totally different places and won't mix.

Second and maybee the largest hurdle is that I'm not really into pixel sex. I like the flirting, teasing and cuddeling, but when it comes down to actually take use of your most private parts, it gets boring. I tried it, with both male and females, one on one and even in small groups of 3 or 4, but it doesn't give me anything at all. It was fun at first, but not more than it was fun figuring out how I could adjust my skirts so it doesn't go through my butt. Fun at first, but not it's repetative and boring. Though since I'm not interested in sex I won't totally disregard a female, but would prefer a man. as some things might be a bit on the border, while exploring limits and stuff, and I'm straight myself.

Is there any place in SL where you can meet people that are interested in domating/bondage, but does not care about the sexual part of it? I've tried looking, but from what I've found, it's mostly about sex and throwing a little bit of bondage and dominance into it.

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Your SL profile page may be a good place to post information about your interest. Experienced Masters will contact you first. You only need to visit SL locations which host activities that interest you and wait for a Dom to approach you.

Your Master can be a friend, but her or she is not your friend. Find a friend when you want to chat about things friends talk about.

Sometimes Jobs just need to be done, and they are not always fun. So long as sex is not the only recreation a Dom engages in, you could consider grinning and bearing with it.

Look in search for 3 of the top locations relevant to your interest and begin visiting those destinations. Don't approach anyone, let them come to you. Only go with someone you like.

 

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"Your Master can be a friend, but her or she is not your friend. Find a friend when you want to chat about things friends talk about."

What the h*ll are you talking about?  If a sub can't sit and have a normal conversation with their Master like they would a friend then they are with the wrong person.  And the "don't approach anyone let them approach you" aspect doesn't work all the time either.  Good Lord.  No wonder subs are always distressed and look lost, recieving crap advice like that.

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   Wandering around the forums this morning, I run across this post.  I know it's a little out-dated but it reminded me of a conversation I was having last night with my sub.  Yes we do have conversations, quite a lot actually, about BDSM and subs in Second Life.  We just came back to SL from an extended break, over a year, and I am not sure how things are in SL now compared to our past experiences.  It used to be, in my opinion, that way too much of the BDSM scene in SL was too closely linked to Gor lore, or a gross approximation of it, and centered far too much on sex itself. 

   It's far too easy to find a lot of Masters/Mistresses who simply stick the title in their name and think themselves the part.  Those you should try to stay away from.  If someone approaches you, take the time to learn all you can from them, remember until you submit yourself to them you are in control, so use it.  Make sure they understand what you want/need and the same of them.  Myself and my sub have spent some time in SL counselling women who came wanting to experience the submissive lifestyle and have been hurt/upset with the experience.  As others have said there are a lot of toads out there, and worse.

   Finding someone who enjoys being a submissive and can give you advise freely and confidently is something I would recommend if you can find it.  We've talked about trying to start a group or system for people new to the lifestyle in SL or those who have been hurt but don't want to leave to help them learn how to find the right situation for them.  Unfortunately we don't have the resources to do what we would like right now, which is frustrating.  There are a lot of people in your situation and we both would like to help them safely and productively. 

   If you still happen to have questions please feel free to message me.  I'd be happy to answer anything I can and help anyone I can.

   And to the matter of you second hurdle you may find if you can find the right situation it may not be as boring as you think.  It's all about who you are with and the relationship that makes it work. 

 

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