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sophienuage

Divorce

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That's pretty simple. You simply unpartner and that's it!

How to end a partnership

The person who "divorces" is charged L$25.

Follow this procedure to dissolve a partnership:

  1. Open the Partners page.
  2. Select "I, (your name), would like to dissolve my partnership with (your partner's name)."
  3. Click Submit
    Your partnership is dissolved and your now-ex-partner is notified.

Once you have dissolved a partnership, you can recreate it by following the procedure previously outlined and paying the L$10 again. 

That is the technical side of divorces in SL. The emotional side is another story for each individual... ;)

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sophienuage wrote:

Hello, I'm a student in humans sciences and I'm doing a study about Sl. I'm looking for people who are divorced on Sl. any one can help me ? 

Everybody is divorced on SL.

From reality, if not another avatar or human being.

© The Judge

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Please define what you mean as divorce in SL.  In RL divorce is clearly defined by law.  But there is no law or rule in SL that uses the word divorce and it could mean a lot of different things to different people.

Do you mean someone that was officially partnered and then spit up?

Do you mean someone that had a close romantic partner for a period of time but never had the name of their significant other in the partner box for a lot of different reasons, but none having to do with the intensity of their relationship, and then they split up?

Do you mean someone that actually had some type of marriage ceremony and then split up?

If you partner, or marry but it only lasts as few hours days or weeks then you split up, is that a divorce  annulment or just a breakup? If there is a difference how long would you have to be together before its a divorce?

Do you want only people that divorced and are still single or anyone who ever divorced, even if they are now in a long term stable relationship?

People role play relationships in SL like characters in a book and don't involve real feelings, while other relationships involve RL feelings.  Does that make a difference?

Finally, no one is going to come forward if you don't give more information like what you want to do with these people, how long it will take, what compensation you offer for their time, if any.  Many will want to know other things generally required of researchers.  Like your privacy policy, name of your school, your name, your supervising professors name, what type of research this is for, such as a graduate thesis, a short assignment, a long term study etc.

 

 

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Do you mean someone who is divorced in RL and is on SL?  Or do you mean someone who is "divorced" from an SL relationship?  If the latter then what Amethyst said.

 

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sophienuage wrote:

Hello, I'm a student in humans sciences and I'm doing a study about Sl. I'm looking for people who are divorced on Sl. any one can help me ? 

 If I may, I believe what the OP is looking for is people who were partnered in SL and are now divorced (since SL gives you that option)

What I might suggest, since you may not get many responses here, is to go inworld and check out some groups that deal with divorce...looking briefly in search, I did see a few.

As I've said with most students looking for information, do the work...go inworld and explore. It's easier to find the information than hope that we will give you what you are looking for...if you're lucky, you might get something, but with a HEALTHY dose of sarcasm and belittleing....

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Does it have to be SL? I met my ex husband on Everquest. We were married in RL a couple yrs later. We divorced 2 yrs after we were married. We are still friends, just not a "perfect match".

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Hello , thank you for these few answers.

To clarify, we are two behind the avatar, we do our research together. We are at the Catholic University of Louvain- La-Neuve in Belgium (sector: Humans Sciences) and we study this in the context of our university seminar third year. We have already made some observations on Second Life, but to open all the doors of the information we are also trying to find on the forums.

Our study is expected to last throughout the year. Our topic focuses on divorces taking place in Seconf Life. That is to say, people who have been married in the game but have finished divorced in games (at the base we aren’t interested in real life, but only in life in Second Life) . No importance for the duration of their marriage or the name, or if they are still single or relationship in Second Life. Our concerns about divorces in Second Life, why , how is this happening ? .... In our study , we need to find people (to do interviews ) or places (eg law firms if it happens like in real life). In short, our research question is " In virtual worlds such as Second Life , what are the reasons for a divorce between two avatars and what is the impact on the individual ? "

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Your problem is going to be that their is no such thing as a "divorce" in Second Life. This is not a game, not a life simulation. There are no game-like structures, no given happenings. People create everything on their own and use given options in their every own way.

Yes, there is a partnering option...but that can't be called marriage.  There is no change of surnames, no party if the people partnering doesn't set one up by themselves and basically "playing" wedding. Being partnered has no effect in SL itself. Some people partner their friends, some partner their second account...

If there is no real marriage, how can there be a divorce? Their is again, nothing offical. You just remove the partner-entry in your profile for another small fee.

 

Second Life relatinships range from roleplay to usual online love or relationship with a big distance between the two partners. So at best, you have couples, who had an online romance and then broke up. But thats not a divorce, at least not from my understanding.

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What Syo said is quite true... there really is no equivilant of real life divorce in SL.  What equivalence there is lies in what you would call a break-up.  Perhaps a simple modification of the wording of your topic from "Divorce" to "Break-ups" or "Dissolution of Relationships" would put you on the right track.

...Dres

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Dresden Ceriano wrote:

What Syo said is quite true... there really is no equivilant of real life divorce in SL.  What equivalence there is lies in what you would call a break-up.  Perhaps a simple modification of the wording of your topic from "Divorce" to "Break-ups" or "Dissolution of Relationships" would put you on the right track.

...Dres

 I'm sorry to say that I disagree with you, Dres. SOME people who partner set up relationships similar to that of an RL marriage...living together, adopting (or having) children and so on. When the "unpartner", I believe it is similar to a divorce. The relationship breaks down and each person goes their seperate ways.

IMHO, the study that the OP is trying to do has some merit. It may be set up differently than RL relationships, but I do think that the question is valid.

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Tex Monday wrote:


Dresden Ceriano wrote:

What Syo said is quite true... there really is no equivilant of real life divorce in SL.  What equivalence there is lies in what you would call a break-up.  Perhaps a simple modification of the wording of your topic from "Divorce" to "Break-ups" or "Dissolution of Relationships" would put you on the right track.

...Dres

 I'm sorry to say that I disagree with you, Dres. SOME people who partner set up relationships similar to that of an RL marriage...living together, adopting (or having) children and so on. When the "unpartner", I believe it is similar to a divorce. The relationship breaks down and each person goes their seperate ways.

IMHO, the study that the OP is trying to do has some merit. It may be set up differently than RL relationships, but I do think that the question is valid.

Similar is not the same as equivalent... I rest my case.

...Dres (Where's The Judge when you need him?)

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Similar is not the same as equivalent... I rest my case.

 Very true, my friend. But since we have no equivalent and the OP is trying to conduct research, they have to use the parameters they have on hand. I think that they can create a workable paper based on their thesis

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Dresden Ceriano wrote:


Tex Monday wrote:


Dresden Ceriano wrote:

What Syo said is quite true... there really is no equivilant of real life divorce in SL.  What equivalence there is lies in what you would call a break-up.  Perhaps a simple modification of the wording of your topic from "Divorce" to "Break-ups" or "Dissolution of Relationships" would put you on the right track.

...Dres

 I'm sorry to say that I disagree with you, Dres. SOME people who partner set up relationships similar to that of an RL marriage...living together, adopting (or having) children and so on. When the "unpartner", I believe it is similar to a divorce. The relationship breaks down and each person goes their seperate ways.

IMHO, the study that the OP is trying to do has some merit. It may be set up differently than RL relationships, but I do think that the question is valid.

Similar is not the same as equivalent... I rest my case.

...Dres (Where's The Judge when you need him?)

What equivalencies there would be would be the ones that were in the minds of the people separating.

After all, in RL, not all marriages are equivalent. 

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Tex Monday wrote:


Dresden Ceriano wrote:

What Syo said is quite true... there really is no equivilant of real life divorce in SL.  What equivalence there is lies in what you would call a break-up.  Perhaps a simple modification of the wording of your topic from "Divorce" to "Break-ups" or "Dissolution of Relationships" would put you on the right track.

...Dres

 I'm sorry to say that I disagree with you, Dres. SOME people who partner set up relationships similar to that of an RL marriage...living together, adopting (or having) children and so on. When the "unpartner", I believe it is similar to a divorce. The relationship breaks down and each person goes their seperate ways.

IMHO, the study that the OP is trying to do has some merit. It may be set up differently than RL relationships, but I do think that the question is valid.

A divorce and a break up aren't the same. A divorce implies, that there has been a marriage and that both are officially partnered. This standart is not avialable in Second Life. You can play "Oh, hey, lets have a wedding" but that doesn't even cut what divorce as a word implies in RL.

What you are talking about is a break-up. That exists in RL as well and would be a more suited term than divorce. People who are not married to each other can't divorce, but break-up and end the relationship. Not calling it a divorce doesn't mean that the feelings involved are less real.

Its all about the meaning a word has and since I don't think that the OP is anthing experianced in SL, I found it is needed to point that out. It will also help to specialize their search, so they find the right people for the study. It could also cause problems, later in the paperwork, to use the term divorce, if there is nothing that would make this term suitable for SL.

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Maybe the topic of the thread should read "Dissolution of SL Partnership" to keep everyone happy.  Or maybe "Questions for those in SL formerly formally partnered".  

In any case just as there are different reasons for marriage in RL and different kinds of marriages (most change over time) there will be different reasons for partnerships in SL and different kinds that may change over time also.  The reasons for a divorce in RL and for a dissolution of the SL partnership may be the same depending on the reasons for the relationship to begin with.  Now in RL divorce can be amiable and easy or contentious involving lawyers.  In SL I gather that the dissolution of partnership is rather easy.

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Syo Emerald wrote:


Tex Monday wrote:


Dresden Ceriano wrote:

What Syo said is quite true... there really is no equivilant of real life divorce in SL.  What equivalence there is lies in what you would call a break-up.  Perhaps a simple modification of the wording of your topic from "Divorce" to "Break-ups" or "Dissolution of Relationships" would put you on the right track.

...Dres

 I'm sorry to say that I disagree with you, Dres. SOME people who partner set up relationships similar to that of an RL marriage...living together, adopting (or having) children and so on. When the "unpartner", I believe it is similar to a divorce. The relationship breaks down and each person goes their seperate ways.

IMHO, the study that the OP is trying to do has some merit. It may be set up differently than RL relationships, but I do think that the question is valid.

A divorce and a break up aren't the same. A divorce implies, that there has been a marriage and that both are officially partnered. This standart is not avialable in Second Life. You can play "Oh, hey, lets have a wedding" but that doesn't even cut what divorce as a word implies in RL.

What you are talking about is a break-up. That exists in RL as well and would be a more suited term than divorce. People who are not married to each other can't divorce, but break-up and end the relationship. Not calling it a divorce doesn't mean that the feelings involved are less real.

Its all about the meaning a word has and since I don't think that the OP is anthing experianced in SL, I found it is needed to point that out. It will also help to specialize their search, so they find the right people for the study. It could also cause problems, later in the paperwork, to use the term divorce, if there is nothing that would make this term suitable for SL.

Agree with this post and Dres' comments on this subject.  Especially since the OP referenced "law firms" in a later post.  I highly doubt if people who were partnered/married in SL would go to a "divorce lawyer" if any even exist in SL; not saying they don't exist as I've never checked but I would assume it would be a very small niche probably set up for a select rp group if so.  As others have mentioned, "divorcing" or unpartnering simply means the avatars choose to no longer be known as a partnered/married couple and drop the person from their "partner" box, if they were there to begin with, as I have known a number of people in exclusive SL relationships that don't even use the partner box but are no less partnered, married, etc.

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Different people are going to have different definitions of what "married" means in SL.  In a non-roleplaying situation I would not consider anything less then checking the partnered box as being married.  Just as in RL all committed relationships are not marriages.  

The original poster will need to have each respondent/interviewee clarify what kind of committed relationship, the reasons for the relationship, the local customs (for roleplay situations), what changed or why they broke up and how they broke up.  There is probably a lot more that needs to be clarified but assuming that everyone means the same thing by certain words will only make the study completely useless.

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Studio09 wrote:

Different people are going to have different definitions of what "married" means in SL.  In a non-roleplaying situation I would not consider anything less then checking the partnered box as being married.  Just as in RL all committed relationships are not marriages.  

The original poster will need to have each respondent/interviewee clarify what kind of committed relationship, the reasons for the relationship, the local customs (for roleplay situations), what changed or why they broke up and how they broke up.  There is probably a lot more that needs to be clarified but assuming that everyone means the same thing by certain words will only make the study completely useless.

 I do agree that different people are going to have different definitions on marriage in SL. But I do have to say that I think a lot of people who are partnered are not in roleplay situations, per se. They feel as though they are in caring, meaningful relationships that are no different than an RL marriage. Most of the people that I know who are partnered feel this way.

I still believe the OP can conduct their research and come up with a valid study using the parameters that they set up, mainly:

" In virtual worlds such as Second Life , what are the reasons for a divorce between two avatars and what is the impact on the individual ? "

If you want to call it an "unpartnering", then fine. But, to borrow a phrase, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's  a duck.

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Czari Zenovka wrote:


Syo Emerald wrote:


Tex Monday wrote:


Dresden Ceriano wrote:

What Syo said is quite true... there really is no equivilant of real life divorce in SL.  What equivalence there is lies in what you would call a break-up.  Perhaps a simple modification of the wording of your topic from "Divorce" to "Break-ups" or "Dissolution of Relationships" would put you on the right track.

...Dres

 I'm sorry to say that I disagree with you, Dres. SOME people who partner set up relationships similar to that of an RL marriage...living together, adopting (or having) children and so on. When the "unpartner", I believe it is similar to a divorce. The relationship breaks down and each person goes their seperate ways.

IMHO, the study that the OP is trying to do has some merit. It may be set up differently than RL relationships, but I do think that the question is valid.

A divorce and a break up aren't the same. A divorce implies, that there has been a marriage and that both are officially partnered. This standart is not avialable in Second Life. You can play "Oh, hey, lets have a wedding" but that doesn't even cut what divorce as a word implies in RL.

What you are talking about is a break-up. That exists in RL as well and would be a more suited term than divorce. People who are not married to each other can't divorce, but break-up and end the relationship. Not calling it a divorce doesn't mean that the feelings involved are less real.

Its all about the meaning a word has and since I don't think that the OP is anthing experianced in SL, I found it is needed to point that out. It will also help to specialize their search, so they find the right people for the study. It could also cause problems, later in the paperwork, to use the term divorce, if there is nothing that would make this term suitable for SL.

Agree with this post and Dres' comments on this subject.  Especially since the OP referenced "law firms" in a later post.  I highly doubt if people who were partnered/married in SL would go to a "divorce lawyer" if any even exist in SL; not saying they don't exist as I've never checked but I would assume it would be a very small niche probably set up for a select rp group if so.  As others have mentioned, "divorcing" or unpartnering simply means the avatars choose to no longer be known as a partnered/married couple and drop the person from their "partner" box, if they were there to begin with, as I have known a number of people in exclusive SL relationships that don't even use the partner box but are no less partnered, married, etc.

I could come down on either side of this. If we're talking only about the neurochemical response to a "divorce", I believe SL could hold its own against RL, if we let it. But, if we're considering the entire ball of yarn that is a legal/biological RL marriage, there is no comparison.

The lawyer fees for my very amicable RL divorce were easily 10x the total money I've spent in nearly six years in SL (I am a SL cheapskate, mind you). The total financial ramifications of keeping all of my net worth since the divorce, rather than splitting it (Wisconsin is a marital property state) is greater still. On the flip side, living alone is less efficient than sharing the load with a well employed life partner. My divorce resulted a change of residence. Golly, I hate moving. It took me a week to pack and twelve years later, I'm still unpacking.

There is no public record of my relationship in SL, just my own fading/shifting memories to suggest I ever had one. There is plenty of public record of my RL marriage, and it took several years for my ex and me to disentangle things like our credit ratings. And my marriage had included children, the difference between SL and RL divorce would be beyond my comprehension.

Can anyone imagine an abused or unhappy partner staying in a broken SL "marriage" because of financial dependence? If so, it's not an SL relationship, is it?

Once again, if you back out the neurochemistry and potential subsequent effects (addiction, anyone?), I don't think SL comes within a country mile of a RL marriage and divorce. So long as it's made clear that "divorce" has different meanings between SL and RL, I've no issue with the use of the word. But to suggest it means the same thing in both worlds won't fly with me. Notice that LL itself uses the word "partner" as the formal declaration of connection between two avatars in SL. I believe that was intentional.

On a side note, my various hand puppets married and divorced each other regularly thoughout my childhood. My puppet theater was the perfect venue for playing out all sorts of drama. Nary a day goes by I don't wish I could divorce Snugs, but RL will not bend to my will... yet.

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Tex Monday wrote:

 I do agree that different people are going to have different definitions on marriage in SL. But I do have to say that I think a lot of people who are partnered are not in roleplay situations, per se. ...

I do not know how many people are married in SL in non-roleplaying situations and how many are in roleplaying sims or situations.  I'm just saying there is a difference.  The emotional commitment might not be the same so those doing the study should take that into consideration.

In roleplay situations if a couple joins in as a married couple or goes through some sort of wedding ceremony consistent with the customs of the roleplay in that sim then I would consider them "married" even if they were not partnered on their profiles.  In the roleplaying situation the feelings between the couple might not be as intense so divorce or breakup might not have the same emotional consequences.  A couple in some roleplay may decided they should breakup for the storyline.   Their emotions will not be the same as someone who was in a committed relationship.

 

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Tex Monday wrote:


Studio09 wrote:

Different people are going to have different definitions of what "married" means in SL.  In a non-roleplaying situation I would not consider anything less then checking the partnered box as being married.  Just as in RL all committed relationships are not marriages.  

The original poster will need to have each respondent/interviewee clarify what kind of committed relationship, the reasons for the relationship, the local customs (for roleplay situations), what changed or why they broke up and how they broke up.  There is probably a lot more that needs to be clarified but assuming that everyone means the same thing by certain words will only make the study completely useless.

 I do agree that different people are going to have different definitions on marriage in SL. But I do have to say that I think a lot of people who are partnered are not in roleplay situations, per se. They feel as though they are in caring, meaningful relationships that are no different than an RL marriage. Most of the people that I know who are partnered feel this way.

I still believe the OP can conduct their research and come up with a valid study using the parameters that they set up, mainly:

" In virtual worlds such as Second Life , what are the reasons for a divorce between two avatars and what is the impact on the individual ? "

If you want to call it an "
unpartnering
", then fine. But, to borrow a phrase, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's  a duck.

But there's a vast difference between a real duck and a rubber duck.

...Dres (And one of them comes with a lot more crap.)

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:

Golly, I hate moving. It took me a week to pack and twelve years later, I'm still unpacking.

I don't feel so bad now about still having boxes to unpack after beginning the third year in this apartment. *Beams*  Of course I've been busy doing other things like...oh, researching then buying a new PC...preparing to install a gra...errrrr, nm.  :matte-motes-bashful-cute:

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Hello, thank you again for your answers 

So yes we maybe change the term divorce to  "Dissolution of SL Partnership", or unpartenered or something like that, because it seems very complicated to find someone who's really divroced on Sl (  but yes we maybe found a person who has been married in sl ( not a role play ) and then divorced). 

We didn't want to create a debate about the divroce but thank you very much for all these reflections that will advance our research. 

So to be clear, we only need to find someone who has been in a relationship (married or not) on sl but it could be better if it was with real feelings to share with us his experiment, his feeling, his break-up, etc. 

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