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About having an affair


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Affairs are like a beautiful sunrise, promising everything and nothing. And then the clouds move in and rain begins to fall. Small drops at first and then a torrential drenching downpour that leaves you soaked and shivering like an addict deep in withdrawal. When it's over, you'll wonder how you survived.

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I assume by affair, you mean cheating on a spouse or partner in a non role play relationship in SL.  I've never cheated so I can only tell you what I have observed.

Generally someone always gets hurt.  The people having the affair when one of them decides it to end it or they get caught and have to face the music, The person being cheated on gets hurt when they find out.  If you are the one cheating, it may feel thrilling at first but in the end you are just going to feel guilty and cheap.

If the person you are having the affair with is the one cheating, remember that if you end up partnered or married, they will eventually cheat you you too.

 

If you no longer want to be exclusive to a spouse or partner, do the right thing and tell them before you take up another relationship.  Yes it may hurt them, but it will hurt far less than finding out you cheated.  If you don't want to do this you are either a coward or worse, you are using the other person for some ulterior motive.  EIther way it doesn't say much about you as a person.

 

 

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Men are not made to be monogamous; women are.

Which is why females who reply here will be full of splenetic condemnation (especially those who have been discarded) and any other men who can be bothered to respond will pretend to feel the same way, to be seen as sympathetic, all the better to get into the panties of the aforementioned.

© The Judge

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  • 4 weeks later...


Aislin Ceawlin wrote:

I don't believe humans (males and females alike) were meant to be monogomous. It's a lovely philosophy, but in practice, usually not so lovely.

Yeah....because people who **bleep** around, have kids from 3 different partners and every month a new love have such a stable life and provide such a relieable environment for said kids! Oh, and how well humans can deal with jealousy, ha, they can share their loved partner with a milion others!

Ok...now back to reality. In what universe are you at the moment?

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Syo Emerald wrote:


Aislin Ceawlin wrote:

I don't believe humans (males and females alike) were meant to be monogomous. It's a lovely philosophy, but in practice, usually not so lovely.

Yeah....because people who **bleep** around, have kids from 3 different partners and every month a new love have such a stable life and provide such a relieable environment for said kids! Oh, and how well humans can deal with jealousy, ha, they can share their loved partner with a milion others!

Ok...now back to reality. In what universe are you at the moment?

You are certainly free to your beliefs. I never said that I don't also wish that it would be easier. I, personally, have never cheated on anyone. I just think that it is more of a societal based philosophy, based on need rather than what we are hard wired for. Women are less likely to cheat because they have more to lose, especially if there are children. I actually feel much the same as you, Syo. I was just looking at it from a purely scientific angle, rather than an emotional one. 

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Aislin Ceawlin wrote:


Syo Emerald wrote:


Aislin Ceawlin wrote:

I don't believe humans (males and females alike) were meant to be monogomous. It's a lovely philosophy, but in practice, usually not so lovely.

Yeah....because people who **bleep** around, have kids from 3 different partners and every month a new love have such a stable life and provide such a relieable environment for said kids! Oh, and how well humans can deal with jealousy, ha, they can share their loved partner with a milion others!

Ok...now back to reality. In what universe are you at the moment?

You are certainly free to your beliefs. I never said that I don't also wish that it would be easier. I, personally, have never cheated on anyone.
I just think that it is more of a societal based philosophy, based on need rather than what we are hard wired for.
Women are less likely to cheat because they have more to lose, especially if there are children. I actually feel much the same as you, Syo.
I was just looking at it from a purely scientific angle, rather than an emotional one. 

"In 2011, Emma Nelson of the University of Liverpool and her colleagues looked at the finger bones of ancient hominid fossils. From what they found, they concluded that hominids 4.4 million years ago mated with many females. By about 3.5 million years ago, however, the finger-length ratio indicated that hominids had shifted more toward monogamy."

... from this article.

Social animals experience societal selection pressure, so your argument that it's more "societal based" than "hard wired" is perhaps a distinction without a difference.

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Aislin Ceawlin wrote:

Perhaps, it was just a thought. Nothing I seriously investigated.

Understood. Like almost anything involving people, as you said...

    "It's a lovely philosophy, but in practice, usually not so lovely."

or, as the great philosopher Yogi Berra said...

    "In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is."

;-)

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irma1992 wrote:

Hi

 

I want to ask

did you ever having an affair and what it was like.

 


I was tempted to have an affair when I was living with someone and they worked away most of the time. I confessed to him that I was tempted, and he was most understanding about it, saying that if I did go ahead and meet this other fellow, that he also expected that I would find alternative accommodation and kindly move out.

I didn't have the affair, but I did move out. It wasn't love. Obviously.

When I was 18/19 I was involved with a married man. He was having the affair. I thought it was fun at the time. The sex was ... ok. His wife seemed bored with him. But I would never wanted him to leave his wife. How stupid and naive. I broke us up. I would not have liked to have hurt his wife. And I would hate it even now if she should ever find out, but what has been done cannot be undone, and if you are about to embark on an affair, then simply DON'T. The repercussions will reverberate for the rest of your life, and too many people can potentially be hurt by the selfish actions of just one or two people.

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I was once married.  I had an affair for almost 5 weeks during our marriage.  We were only married for 6 weeks.  I still consider my ex-wife to be the "one that got away."  

My ex-affair/love considers my ex-wife to be the 'affair' I had whilst having an affair with her..  30 years later and I'm still confused. 

Carpe diem.

 

 

 

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Storm Clarence wrote:

I was once married.  I had an affair for almost 5 weeks during our marriage.  We were only married for 6 weeks.  I still consider my ex-wife to be the "one that got away."  

My ex-affair/love considers my ex-wife to be the 'affair' I had whilst having an affair with her..  30 years later and I'm still confused. 

Carpe diem.

 

 

 

I think my signature line should now read

"Fifty, fiercely single and no longer confused."

*****

This too shall pass. :matte-motes-whistle:

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  • 2 weeks later...

If you are in an exclusive relationship, why stress out by sneaking around? Either ask to take it Open or leave the relationship and remain unattached until you have successfully glutted your sex-drive and have a shot at staying with one person.

 

Most likely, if you ask for an open relationship you will wind up single anyway........

 

Stable relationships require trust in the other persons integrity, if you feel that you sexual needs are leading you to stray - then free the person who expects you to be loyal from their false assumption and go do what you need to without deception.

 

 

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steph Arnott wrote:

The majority of men just can not cope being alone, were as women never are.
Just because
If a women has no partner, she still has many sisters.

This is quite simply, as my padawan The Farquhar might say, ******* ********.

On the charge of talking antiquated feminist nonsense that has no relation to the contemporary civilised world: Guilty

© The Judge

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...

My RL husband had a RL affair with someone he met in SL. She is from Norway and we are in the US.. She left her family to meet him in the US.  What the idiot doesn't know is that he is also on SL as a female lesbian, and hanging out in B & D sims and screwing everybody in site. I am the wife and i am the one that hired a private detective, I know everything!!!!. When you hook up with someone in Sl you have no idea what you are getting involved in. My RL husband of 30 years and I are now in the divorce process and she is in love with a fantasy! I understand that 25% of the females on SL are men, I believe it! I never thought my husband would be one! I was devastated. Be careful of men on this site!!!

Sherron Bluestar

 

 

 

 

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Sherron Bluestar wrote:

My RL husband had a RL affair with someone he met in SL. She is from Norway and we are in the US.. She left her family to meet him in the US.  What the idiot doesn't know is that he is also on SL as a female lesbian, and hanging out in B & D sims and screwing everybody in site. I am the wife and i am the one that hired a private detective, I know everything!!!!. When you hook up with someone in Sl you have no idea what you are getting involved in. My RL husband of 30 years and I are now in the divorce process and she is in love with a fantasy! I understand that 25% of the females on SL are men, I believe it! I never thought my husband would be one! I was devastated.
Be careful of men on this site!!!

Sherron Bluestar

 

 

I'm sorry your husband is an A$$, but don't lump us all in with him. There are plenty of women who have cheated on their RL partners. Just say, be careful on SL.

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