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Celestiall Nightfire wrote:

It's actually pretty funny that you think there's a "clique" that operates on his behalf.  LOL


I find this sort of misapprehension interesting, but understandable. I believe it's responsible for my being considered a cult leader. Knowing how difficult it has been throughout my life to secure the cooperation of others, I'm inclined to discount theories that require it.

There are simpler explanations.

;-)

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:


Celestiall Nightfire wrote:

So, it's clear to me that this whole thread has been orchestrated by the scenes, probably through PMs here on the forum.

A witch hunt of sorts.  (I know I got several PMs)

Which reminds me of a conversation I had inworld recently, where a woman told me that some new posters had told her they were leaving the forum.  Yet, why would random strangers send IMs to someone to say they were leaving the forum?  I doubt that's what happened.  I think the woman send them IMs  (Just like I got an IM from this same woman years ago on the forum) 

She also told me that new people have the benefit of "doubt" and might see the "troll" favorably.  Yes, they might, until they get an IM and get pulled into a campaign.

Years ago, there was a woman "troll" on the forums, and a whole thread sprung up to decry her actions.  I remember Scylla coming to that thread to say how distasteful the public witch hunt was.  Scylla was right. 

I said one person had IM'ed me that they were leaving the thread, check your chat logs.

 

I'm pretty sure you said "one or two" people.  (will try to find that log)  (Also, woman, I'd never have named you here...just so you know)

 


Madelaine McMasters wrote:

This was after I had PM'ed her, advising disengagement. It's not uncommon for me to PM someone who's being dragged into a exchange of taunts, to suggest backing away. I will continue this practice, both in public and in private. And I approach people in private when I believe that making the recommendation in public is likely to raise the temperature, not lower it. I certainly don't PM people who are not already engaged, encouraging them to pick up a baton and start bashing.


Yes, and I've encouraged people to disengage too.  I've actually suggested multiple times to people that they ignore, which is the single most powerful option.  (something you and I have discussed at length)   I know that you don't encourage bashing, nor did I imply such.

 


Madelaine McMasters wrote:

You and I have had discussions in which we've explained to each other the effort we've expended to reduce these inflammations. I'm disappointed you now
appear to believe
I'm instigating them.


Ah, Maddy this is a good example of how communication can be misconstrued.  (see bolded above)  I don't think you instigate flame wars.  I do think that you try to "control" them.  (as do I!)  (and we both seem to fail miserably at it, but we keep trying....haha)

 

 

I was referring to efforts to garner support (or anti-support as it were) against the "troll".  Which is a form of campaigning. not unlike this thread.

 


Madelaine McMasters wrote:

When I said "new people get the benefit of the doubt", I was referring to there being no backlash for new people in a venue who take sides in an melee that may be driven by old personal conflicts. Those of us who've been around a long time, even if we're not highly engaged here, are erroneously presumed to know what's going on and to be aware of those personal conflicts. I think this can largely explain why you've been perceived as a member of a clique. You've had the misfortune to drop into the middle of a heated exchange as a known old-timer, but absent the current context. You take a side based on what you see at the moment, while others presume that you're aware of all that they are.

When a new face arrives in the forum (and I mean a newly true one, not a face that's recognizable as a reincarnation within several posts), I think it's natural for there to be a honeymoon period. You and I don't get that benefit. We're presumed to know what's going on, and we often don't.

So, we both agree that we don't know what's going on.  Dammit!  ; )

 

 

But, I think we also both agree that we know a "hurtful" or "belittling" comment when we see it.  I see them all over, and done by multiple people.  Often more egregious than those done by the known "troll".   Yet, the people get a pass, or even "high five" type reactions by others, if it's directed at someone who others don't like.  Which just further cultivates a climate of mean spiritedness.  Because, jabs begat jabs, and things tend to escalate.   Which is how RL wars get started, and threads like this.

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Celestiall Nightfire wrote:


Madelaine McMasters wrote:


Celestiall Nightfire wrote:

So, it's clear to me that this whole thread has been orchestrated by the scenes, probably through PMs here on the forum.

A witch hunt of sorts.  (I know I got several PMs)

Which reminds me of a conversation I had inworld recently, where a woman told me that some new posters had told her they were leaving the forum.  Yet, why would random strangers send IMs to someone to say they were leaving the forum?  I doubt that's what happened.  I think the woman send them IMs  (Just like I got an IM from this same woman years ago on the forum) 

She also told me that new people have the benefit of "doubt" and might see the "troll" favorably.  Yes, they might, until they get an IM and get pulled into a campaign.

Years ago, there was a woman "troll" on the forums, and a whole thread sprung up to decry her actions.  I remember Scylla coming to that thread to say how distasteful the public witch hunt was.  Scylla was right. 

I said one person had IM'ed me that they were leaving the thread, check your chat logs.

 

I'm pretty sure you said "one or two" people.  (will try to find that log)  (Also, woman, I'd never have
named
you here...just so you know)

 

Madelaine McMasters wrote:

This was after I had PM'ed her, advising disengagement. It's not uncommon for me to PM someone who's being dragged into a exchange of taunts, to suggest backing away. I will continue this practice, both in public and in private. And I approach people in private when I believe that making the recommendation in public is likely to raise the temperature, not lower it. I certainly don't PM people who are not already engaged, encouraging them to pick up a baton and start bashing.


Yes, and I've encouraged people to disengage too.  I've actually suggested multiple times to people that they ignore, which is the single most powerful option.  (something you and I have discussed at length)   I know that you don't encourage bashing, nor did I imply such.

 

Madelaine McMasters wrote:

You and I have had discussions in which we've explained to each other the effort we've expended to reduce these inflammations. I'm disappointed you now
appear to believe
I'm instigating them.


Ah, Maddy this is a good example of how communication can be misconstrued.  (see bolded above)  I don't think you instigate flame wars.  I do think that you try to "control" them.  (as do I!)  (and we both seem to fail miserably at it, but we keep trying....haha)

 

 

I was referring to efforts to garner support (or anti-support as it were) against the "troll".  Which is a form of campaigning. not unlike this thread.

 

Madelaine McMasters wrote:

When I said "new people get the benefit of the doubt", I was referring to there being no backlash for new people in a venue who take sides in an melee that may be driven by old personal conflicts. Those of us who've been around a long time, even if we're not highly engaged here, are erroneously presumed to know what's going on and to be aware of those personal conflicts. I think this can largely explain why you've been perceived as a member of a clique. You've had the misfortune to drop into the middle of a heated exchange as a known old-timer, but absent the current context. You take a side based on what you see at the moment, while others presume that you're aware of all that they are.

When a new face arrives in the forum (and I mean a newly true one, not a face that's recognizable as a reincarnation within several posts), I think it's natural for there to be a honeymoon period. You and I don't get that benefit. We're presumed to know what's going on, and we often don't.

So, we both agree that we don't know what's going on.  Dammit!  ; )

 

 

But, I think we also both agree that we know a "hurtful" or "belittling" comment when we see it.  I see them all over, and done by multiple people.  Often more egregious than those done by the known "troll".   Yet, the people get a pass, or even "high five" type reactions by others, if it's directed at someone who others don't like.  Which just further cultivates a climate of mean spiritedness. 
Because, jabs begat jabs, and things tend to escalate.   Which is how RL wars get started, and threads like this.

I agree Celestiall, I honestly didn't intend to create this mess. There had been a lot of talk of what trolling was and wasn't, and I just thought I'd post the definition, and have a little fun doing it. (I know, run on sentence). I apologize to everyone involved for creating this monster. I hope you will all understand the initial intent was not malicious in any way.

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:


Celestiall Nightfire wrote:

It's actually pretty funny that you think there's a "clique" that operates on his behalf.  LOL


I find this sort of misapprehension interesting, but understandable.
I believe it's responsible for my being considered a cult leader.
Knowing how difficult it has been throughout my life to secure the cooperation of others, I'm inclined to discount theories that require it.

Wait a minute..what was the Initiation by Fire that I went through?!   (and didn't we both meet at an orgy, errr...party and dance and you mesmerized me?!

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Celestiall Nightfire wrote:


Madelaine McMasters wrote:


Celestiall Nightfire wrote:

It's actually pretty funny that you think there's a "clique" that operates on his behalf.  LOL


I find this sort of misapprehension interesting, but understandable.
I believe it's responsible for my being considered a cult leader.
Knowing how difficult it has been throughout my life to secure the cooperation of others, I'm inclined to discount theories that require it.

Wait a minute..what was the Initiation by Fire that I went through?!   (and didn't we both meet at an
orgy
, errr...party and dance and you mesmerized me?!

Celestiall, you know the best way to hide malicious intent is to feign incompetence. You're blowing my cover!

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Aislin Ceawlin wrote:


Because, jabs begat jabs, and things tend to escalate.   Which is how RL wars get started, and threads like this.

I agree Celestiall, I honestly didn't intend to create this mess. There had been a lot of talk of what trolling was and wasn't, and I just thought I'd post the definition, and have a little fun doing it. (I know, run on sentence). I apologize to everyone involved for creating this monster. I hope you will all understand the initial intent was not malicious in any way.

Aislin, I did think your initial post was meant in the spirit of humor.   But, as threads often do, it has taken on a life separate from your intent. 

(I shall now offer a rare thing...a HUG to you!)

(Yes, that's right...I'm not all huggy cuddly...but..I'm learning to overcome that with an insidious,...ahem..I mean helpful "Hug HUD" inworld. )

(So, if ANYONE, and yes, I mean anyone! Want's a hug..look me up inworld, and I shall hug you!)   *beams*

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Celestiall Nightfire wrote:

Ah, Maddy this is a good example of how communication can be misconstrued.  (see bolded above)  I don't think you instigate flame wars.  I do think that you try to "control" them.  (as do I!)  (and we both seem to fail miserably at it, but we keep trying....haha)

I was referring to efforts to garner support (or anti-support as it were) against the "troll".  Which is a form of campaigning. not unlike this thread.

Whew! Yep, a perfect example of misunderstanding. Mea culpa!

Yes I do indeed attempt to control, and as we've both agreed, I stink at it. But I'm happy to take the blame for being so stupid as to continue trying to control the uncontrollable. I'm in good company.

Madelaine McMasters wrote:

When I said "new people get the benefit of the doubt", I was referring to there being no backlash for new people in a venue who take sides in an melee that may be driven by old personal conflicts. Those of us who've been around a long time, even if we're not highly engaged here, are erroneously presumed to know what's going on and to be aware of those personal conflicts. I think this can largely explain why you've been perceived as a member of a clique. You've had the misfortune to drop into the middle of a heated exchange as a known old-timer, but absent the current context. You take a side based on what you see at the moment, while others presume that you're aware of all that they are.

When a new face arrives in the forum (and I mean a newly true one, not a face that's recognizable as a reincarnation within several posts), I think it's natural for there to be a honeymoon period. You and I don't get that benefit. We're presumed to know what's going on, and we often don't.

So, we both agree that we don't know what's going on.  Dammit!  ; )

 

 

Nooooo, it's only YOU who don't know what's going on. I'm omniscient!

But, I think we also both agree that we know a "hurtful" or "belittling" comment when we see it.  I see them all over, and done by multiple people.  Often more egregious than those done by the known "troll".   Yet, the people get a pass, or even "high five" type reactions by others, if it's directed at someone who others don't like.  Which just further cultivates a climate of mean spiritedness.  Because, jabs begat jabs, and things tend to escalate.   Which is how RL wars get started, and threads like this.

Yep. I get frustrated when I see people yanked off the tracks into exactly the sort of behavior they're decrying. I do make a distinction, perhaps sometimes erroneously, between unprovoked and provoked responses. That distinction, as I'm sure you've noticed, erodes quickly.

I was going to say that I also make a distinction between people who respond to my "advice" and people who don't, but as I've already admitted, nobody responds to my advice, so I any distinctions I'm drawing there are nonsense.

;-)

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Celestiall Nightfire wrote:


Aislin Ceawlin wrote:


Because, jabs begat jabs, and things tend to escalate.   Which is how RL wars get started, and threads like this.

I agree Celestiall, I honestly didn't intend to create this mess. There had been a lot of talk of what trolling was and wasn't, and I just thought I'd post the definition, and have a little fun doing it. (I know, run on sentence). I apologize to everyone involved for creating this monster. I hope you will all understand the initial intent was not malicious in any way.

Aislin, I did think your initial post was meant in the spirit of humor.   But, as threads often do, it has taken on a life separate from your intent. 

(I shall now offer a rare thing...a HUG to you!)

(Yes, that's right...I'm not all huggy cuddly...but..I'm learning to overcome that with an
insidious,
...ahem..I mean helpful "Hug HUD" inworld. )

(So, if ANYONE, and yes, I mean anyone! Want's a hug..look me up inworld, and I shall hug you!)   *beams*

Okay Celestiall, so you're going to be the insidious one, and I'm the nefarious one. I can live with that.

Aislin, no good deed goes unpunished. I'd offer you a hug, but I've seen both mine and Celestiall's. Get one from her. I'll just glare at you. The effect should be about the same.

It's all about perception.

;-)

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oh thank you Sephina :smileyhappy:

dont worry, i wont let it go to me. Ive noticed with time that it was always the persons who complain about my english. the same ones and at the same location always (the forum) . And even better ..... Always when they dont have better to answer to me... lol

so yeah.. i know... its a trick for some ppl when they dont have better to answer... 

It happened to hurt me at first, but now, i know, so its just an evidence they cant answer to my arguments... that happens... 

That must be jealousy too :smileywink:, maybe they cant do the same than me in another language... Who knows ? Id really like to read what they have to answer to my arguments in french... Really...

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Celestiall Nightfire wrote:

 

But, I think we also both agree that we know a "hurtful" or "belittling" comment when we see it.  I see them all over, and done by multiple people.  Often more egregious than those done by the known "troll".   Yet, the people get a pass, or even "high five" type reactions by others, if it's directed at someone who others don't like.  Which just further cultivates a climate of mean spiritedness.  Because, jabs begat jabs, and things tend to escalate.   Which is how RL wars get started, and threads like this.

well its then probable you missed out Storm's answer to me, or Ohhnoes one ..

you know... when Storm seems to know me so well in rl that he has a good knowledge of my relation with art and theater and then can judge me... when he also seem to know better than me who i have to have as friend and what comments to have to make on the feeds.... because, yeah, saying goodmorning everyday is so boring eh ? in my world its just politeness, education and showing friends we care them.

And you seems to miss out also the harrassment some ppl do on me because they know im not native english speakers (like they do also on other non native english speakers i know here in this forum).

Isnt that intended to be "hurful" and "belitling" ? 

Shame you missed those ones. 

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Trinity Yazimoto wrote:

Celestiall Nightfire wrote:

 

But, I think we also both agree that we know a "hurtful" or "belittling" comment when we see it.  I see them all over, and done by multiple people.  Often more egregious than those done by the known "troll".   Yet, the people get a pass, or even "high five" type reactions by others, if it's directed at someone who others don't like.  Which just further cultivates a climate of mean spiritedness.  Because, jabs begat jabs, and things tend to escalate.   Which is how RL wars get started, and threads like this.

well its then probable you missed out Storm's answer to me, or Ohhnoes one ..

you know... when Storm seems to know me so well in rl that he has a good knowledge of my relation with art and theater and then can judge me... when he also seem to know better than me who i have to have as friend and what comments to have to make on the feeds.... because, yeah, saying goodmorning everyday is so boring eh ? in my world its just politeness, education and showing friends we care them.

And you seems to miss out also the harrassment some ppl do on me because they know im not native english speakers (like they do also on other non native english speakers i know here in this forum).

Isnt that intended to be "hurful" and "belitling" ? 

Shame you missed those ones. 

I have no clue who or what "Ohhnoes one" is?  

Nor, did I see anything about what Storm says on the feed.    I'm on the feed to post notices about inworld events, and comment/discuss with people on my friend’s list.  Rarely, do I look at "trending" as it's usually full of porn, pic of things I'm not interested in or spam type posts, so I maybe take one look once in a blue moon.   So, how would I see your posts or things that Storm does?

Why would you assume I know what goes with you and other people?   Did you happen to see my posts on the feed?  Do you know what goes on with me? 

 

 

 

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Trinity Yazimoto wrote:


Celestiall Nightfire wrote:

 

But, I think we also both agree that we know a "hurtful" or "belittling" comment when we see it.  I see them all over, and done by multiple people.  Often more egregious than those done by the known "troll".   Yet, the people get a pass, or even "high five" type reactions by others, if it's directed at someone who others don't like.  Which just further cultivates a climate of mean spiritedness.  Because, jabs begat jabs, and things tend to escalate.   Which is how RL wars get started, and threads like this.

well its then probable you missed out Storm's answer to me, or Ohhnoes one ..

you know... when Storm seems to know me so well in rl that he has a good knowledge of my relation with art and theater and then can judge me... when he also seem to know better than me who i have to have as friend and what comments to have to make on the feeds.... because, yeah, saying goodmorning everyday is so boring eh ? in my world its just politeness, education and showing friends we care them.

And you seems to miss out also the harrassment some ppl do on me because they know im not native english speakers (like they do also on other non native english speakers i know here in this forum).

Isnt that intended to be "hurful" and "belitling" ? 

Shame you missed those ones. 


I have no clue who or what "Ohhnoes one" is?  

Nor, did I see anything about what Storm says on the feed.    I'm on the feed to post notices about inworld events, and comment/discuss with people on my friend’s list.  Rarely, do I look at "trending" as it's usually full of porn, pic of things I'm not interested in or spam type posts, so I maybe take one look once in a blue moon.   So, how would I see your posts or things that Storm does?

Why would you assume I know what goes with you and other people?   Did you happen to see my posts on the feed?  Do you know what goes on with me? 

End of her quote.

 

^^ See the bolded. It goes to show she didn't read the thread (though she responded to Storm) which I doubt and this is how she twists words around. Just responding to me of course lol. I am sure she can see your post didn't just refer to the feed. Anyone that read this thread would see the posts you are referring to. For someone who says they :

Celesitall Nightfire wrote:
"Yes, and I've encouraged people to disengage too.  I've actually suggested multiple times to people that they ignore, which is the single most powerful option.  (something you and I have discussed at length)   I know that you don't encourage bashing, nor did I imply such."
 

^^ And this, she sure doesn't practice it on here, words are just words unless actions back them up. I am no longer reading anything she posts because she is actually the one doing the witch hunt responding to a thread and to my posts only bringing up something from a previous thread. Old news :)

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Trinity Yazimoto wrote:

oh thank you Sephina :smileyhappy:

dont worry, i wont let it go to me. Ive noticed with time that it was always the persons who complain about my english. the same ones and at the same location always (the forum) . And even better ..... Always when they dont have better to answer to me... lol

so yeah.. i know... its a trick for some ppl when they dont have better to answer... 

It happened to hurt me at first, but now, i know, so its just an evidence they cant answer to my arguments... that happens... 

That must be jealousy too :smileywink:, maybe they cant do the same than me in another language... Who knows ? Id really like to read what they have to answer to my arguments in french... Really...

Trin, I don't think there's much profit in imagining motivation. If you feel people are engaging you constructively, engage. If you feel they're engaging you destructively, walk away. And if you come to the conclusion that someone will consistently engage you destructively, walk around.

Sometimes there are costs in doing so, but one can hope the benefits outweight them.

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:


Trinity Yazimoto wrote:

oh thank you Sephina :smileyhappy:

dont worry, i wont let it go to me. Ive noticed with time that it was always the persons who complain about my english. the same ones and at the same location always (the forum) . And even better ..... Always when they dont have better to answer to me... lol

so yeah.. i know... its a trick for some ppl when they dont have better to answer... 

It happened to hurt me at first, but now, i know, so its just an evidence they cant answer to my arguments... that happens... 

That must be jealousy too :smileywink:, maybe they cant do the same than me in another language... Who knows ? Id really like to read what they have to answer to my arguments in french... Really...

Trin, I don't think there's much profit in imagining motivation. If you feel people are engaging you constructively, engage. If you feel they're engaging you destructively, walk away. And if you come to the conclusion that someone will consistently engage you destructively, walk around.

Sometimes there are costs in doing so, but one can hope the benefits outweight them.

 

Maddy, as i said in the post you quoted, i move on indeed... i dont have time for this, you know it well... i don't mind.. they are not enough important for me for i care..

so yes, you know it already, i follow your advice... 

i was just explaining why i dont care anymore what these ppl say about my english

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:


Trinity Yazimoto wrote:

i was just explaining why i dont care anymore what these ppl say about my english


As I think you've noticed, I don't have difficulty with your English.

It's all the other stuff that drives me nuts.

;-)

lol, i know you would have told me since long time if you had pb with my english lol... that would have been a damn good reason for pushing me into your fireplace :smileywink:

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Malanya wrote:

Trinity Yazimoto wrote:

Celestiall Nightfire wrote:

 

But, I think we also both agree that we know a "hurtful" or "belittling" comment when we see it.  I see them all over, and done by multiple people.  Often more egregious than those done by the known "troll".   Yet, the people get a pass, or even "high five" type reactions by others, if it's directed at someone who others don't like.  Which just further cultivates a climate of mean spiritedness.  Because, jabs begat jabs, and things tend to escalate.   Which is how RL wars get started, and threads like this.

well its then probable you missed out Storm's answer to me, or Ohhnoes one ..

you know... when Storm seems to know me so well in rl that he has a good knowledge of my relation with art and theater and then can judge me... when he also seem to know better than me who i have to have as friend and what comments to have to make on the feeds.... because, yeah, saying goodmorning everyday is so boring eh ? in my world its just politeness, education and showing friends we care them.

And you seems to miss out also the harrassment some ppl do on me because they know im not native english speakers (like they do also on other non native english speakers i know here in this forum).

Isnt that intended to be "hurful" and "belitling" ? 

Shame you missed those ones. 

I have no clue who or what "Ohhnoes one" is?
 

Nor, did I see anything about what Storm says on the feed.
    I'm on the feed to post notices about inworld events, and comment/discuss with people on my friend’s list.  Rarely, do I look at "trending" as it's usually full of porn, pic of things I'm not interested in or spam type posts, so I maybe take one look once in a blue moon.   So, how would I see your posts or things that Storm does?

Why would you assume I know what goes with you and other people?   Did you happen to see my posts on the feed?  Do you know what goes on with me? 

End of her quote.

 

^^ See the bolded. It goes to show she didn't read the thread (though she responded to Storm) which I doubt and this is how she twists words around. Just responding to me of course lol. I am sure she can see your post didn't just refer to the feed. Anyone that read this thread would see the posts you are referring to. For someone who says they :

Celesitall Nightfire wrote:

"Yes, and I've encouraged people to disengage too.  I've actually suggested multiple times to people that they ignore, which is the single most powerful option.  (something you and I have discussed at length)   I know that you don't encourage bashing, nor did I imply such."

 

^^ And this, she sure doesn't practice it on here, words are just words unless actions back them up. I am no longer reading anything she posts because she is actually the one doing the witch hunt responding to a thread and to my posts only bringing up something from a previous thread. Old news
:)

I don't believe Celestiall is witch hunting, but I do believe she was surprised by the response she received from her first posts to you. Celestiall can be frustratingly "on point". She'll jump on inflammatory language from anyone, and it's not surprising that if she jumps into a thread and is met with an inflammatory response, she'll flip on her radar. I think I'm on her radar as well, hopefully for other reasons. We've known each other for years.

I've been on the receiving end of insults from the same people who peeve you, but I've avoided the "Wrath of Celestiall" by avoiding the "Wrath of Snugs" (who is me). I can't say which of those two pains in the asses is harder to deal with. When I feel like I've got a red laser dot on my forehead, I have to ask myself who put it there. If it was me, at least I can take it down.

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