What can I do about a stalker?

[dexdad]

My partner has been pursued by former partner for several months.  This stalking is done by several avi's as the former partner has multiple avis (the oldest to date is almost 6 years old). She blocked the known avis however still receives IMs.  She also gets email to a gmail she set up for her avi.  One avi has entered our property and has since been banned however security logs show multiple attempts to enter property.  When she signs on one avi in particular signs on as well.  The avi thens hovers above our property and cams her!

She has Im logs from multiple avis but tons from the aggressive 'hovering/spying' one.  These IMs have included requests for her PW, requests for Linden, outright threats of 'lassoing her'.  This has escalated in last few days to point partner does not want to come on SL.  

She has considered creating an alt but has almost 4 years of SL goodwill and inventory built up and I don't think its fair she can be stalked in this manner!  She left the relationship over half a year ago after finding out about multiple avis, partners, children and other issues she was not comfortable with.  She left thousands L worth of landscaping materials and property on one of the avis sim so she walked away without incident.

Can anyone please suggest the proper way to deal with this?  She has filed complaints to no avail.  She loves SL and wants to continue to enjoy but this multiple, mature SL veteran has destroyed her experience.  For the record she was not with this avi as a partner long and has had contact from this avis former partners that have had the exact same experiences.  

In my mind this must be stopped as there is NO WAY these types of bully tactics are good for SL!  Suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

[JPG0809]

Im very sorry that your in this situation and it sounds like a real pain... If you tried contacting LL or filed a AR, all I can think is just blocking the avi's when you recieve IM's. Eventually they'll get bored right? I would if I have to make multiple accounts to just stalk a person.

[KarenMichelle Lane]

Dexdad,

Your partner can do a number of things to protect herself. She has all the power needed to eliminate the burden of her ex.

Here are the various steps she should have taken.

ABUSE REPORTING:

1) You can A.R. Anyone who abuses you or threatens you in chat or is just plain annoying to the point of violating Community Standards as described in the SL TOS.

2) Don;t over A.R. the annoying person as you have steps you can and should take to protect yourself as well

 

BANNING RELATED:

1) You and she need to have your own parcel whereby you have land privileges.

2) Make sure that you have created a Land Group that you are both the Owners of and Deed the parcel to this Group.- This allows you both to enjoy privacy as you wish.

3) Add each of the annoying Avatar Accounts to the Banned List [ World / About Land / ACCESS / Banned Residents List ] - This prevents physical intrusion of any ALTs into your parcel.

4) Uncheck the [  ] Avatars on other parcels can see and chat with avatars on this parcel option located at  [ World / About Land / OPTIONS ] - This prevents visible intrusion of any ALTs into your parcel.

5) Ask your landlord [if you lease a parcel on a Private Estate  to ban the Stalker and his ALTs. [As a land owner and formerly staked individual I do this on request for my tenants.]

6) If this individual has also been annoying in open chat at a Club or similar venue they may have been banned there as well. Remember it's not the Managements place to decide if any action needs to be taken when Residents have this type of issue with each other. Muting the annoying individual protects you and any open chat by them will never be seen by you. 

 

MUTING RELATED

1)Mute each of the Ex.'s ALTs. - This prevents seeing the numskull and any message receipt by him both directly and in any Group Chat where you are both still members. You will not get any forwarded emails either.

 

SECOND LIFESTYLE RELATED:

1) Protect your information by setting your SL Profile visibility to Friends Only - https://my.secondlife.com/settings/privacy

2) Hide the Groups you both belong to by editing each membership and selecting that option -  This is only needed if you have not set your SL Profile visibility to Friends Only.

3) After all the above has been completed , start visiting different venues. Change you habits.

4) Don;t live as a victim. Once you know how to do the above go out and enjoy SL. You know what to do if you encounter anyone that annoys either of you.

 

PROPERTY RELATED:

You mentioned that when she logs in using a particular Avatar account that the Ex locates and hovers about. Well then do all I've outlined here as clearly she has made it easy to locate herself. She needs to delete anything that her Ex may have given to her from her inventory. There may be a spying script included. [ e.g. I once had an idiot give me a necklace with a locater script in it. I kept the necklace and deleted the script...and the idiot -  ]

 

Moral: Idiots like you are describing get bored once you start ignoring them, this is especially easy once you have muted them, You can't see them and can't hear them ever - LOL

 

 

 

[PeterCanessa Oh]

One thing your partner can probably do, as she's been in SL for 4 years, is look after herself.  Since your account was only registered today (on this forum) it is possible you are more worried about this than she is.

If that is not the case then here is what to do:

 

1. Contact your legal advisor
2. Obtain a court order to get the stalker's RL information from LL
3. Take the stalker to court
4. Have them jailed/fined/restrained as the judge sees fit

And if that seems like going too far; it's just SL drama so ban, mute and ignore.

[Bluerose31]

Stalking is dealt with poorly in Second Life, I have experienced stalking that started in sl and went to real life. What I really think is wrong is that Second Life does not have anyone to speak to about abuse concerns.  Issues of abuse sadly seem avoided by Second Life. There is no feedback when abuse reports are done. This is direspectful to those who are experiencing extreme abuse that began in Second Life. I have been a resident in Second Life for over a year and I love the site and was dedicated to it. I still am dedicated to it. There should be people from Second Life, genuine support and administration that will assist with abuse matters to at least attempt and create a space of respect for Second Life residents. When there is stalking, group stalking and harassment there is absolutely no support in Second Life. None. All you are told is to file the reports. On a site of so many people, where so many things can be done- it would be respectful to the residents to actually have someone they can speak to about abuse. Person to person contact makes alot of difference in matters of abuse, connection makes a difference. I think it is important that Second Life look into becoming more connected with its residents and their safety.

[DeadSet99]

I've been stalked for several years in sl.  They don't seam to get board of it, as I thought they would do, and was suggested above.  They can track me regardless of which alt I use or where I go.  Within a few minutes they turn up.  They obviously have some way of tracking my ip address.  They stack any venue I go to with alts to the extent they are almost dancing on top of us and the only thing to do is to de-render them.  They also IM anyone I am with and tell them lies about me so that that person stops seeing me all together.  If I start a conversation with anyone, that person is then contacted via IM.  There is no single alt which I can identify as being behind all this.  Blocking them has no effect as they never say a word to me directly, and if I do block them they say stuff in local that everyone else can hear but I can't.  If I go exploring they orbit me at every sim boarder crossing.   They seam to have some very nasty huds these days, for both stalking and griefing.  I have ARed till I'm blue in the face to no avail.  Owing my own land regardless of security/privacy/orb setting is pointless as it just gives them a place they can always find me.  They can tell what anims any sex gen item I use does then name alts accordingly.   Short of getting one of those huds myself and stalking/griefing them back, which would make me as bigger bastards as they are, leaving sl all together and never returning is about all that's left to me.  So, take heart from my story, at least you know for sure who is behind your friend's stalking.   SL is on it's last legs as it is, these people are driving in the final coffin nails.  PS I used to spend about L$10,000 of my own money a month, now I spend nothing.  What's the point.   Blue skies.

Edited January 16, 2018 by DeadSet99

[Alwin Alcott]

7 hours ago, DeadSet99 said:

I've been stalked for several years in sl. 

Age: 1 month old; 46 days

[LittleMe Jewell]

7 hours ago, Alwin Alcott said:

Age: 1 month old; 46 days

LOL - It should be pointed out that some folks that feel like they are being stalked will use an alt in the forums.  The post does specifically mention alts.

Edited January 17, 2018 by LittleMe Jewell

[LittleMe Jewell]

14 hours ago, DeadSet99 said:

  SL is on it's last legs as it is, these people are driving in the final coffin nails.   

If I had even a single $ for every time I've heard that over the past decade, I'd be quite well off indeed.

[Alwin Alcott]

the one alt blaming the other alt it's stalking... ...

stop going where you use to go...you'r most likely so stuck in a certain circle your "friends" know where you show up

They normally can't track your ip unless they use media or sound streams. (every dj is able to see your ip)

[Madelaine McMasters]

On 1/16/2018 at 4:58 PM, DeadSet99 said:

SL is on it's last legs as it is, these people are driving in the final coffin nails.

Evidence says otherwise...

SL concurrency seems to have stabilized. There are currently, on average, 80,000 last legs propping up SL.

On 1/16/2018 at 4:58 PM, DeadSet99 said:

They obviously have some way of tracking my ip address.

And there are equally obvious ways to prevent that, like turning off media. Unfortunately, I find your complaint to be both familiar and unconvincing. SL's privacy tools, coupled with a modicum of care in avoiding easy traceability (Alwin gave suggestions), make it fairly easy to lose stalkers.

[AlexandriteGem]

Based on my experience, I report them, administrators ban them from the sim for a few days and back they come to pick up where they left off. Either with the same account or as an alter.

I want to enjoy what the sim has to offer, and am not one to agree with just leaving and having some nitwit ruin my experience. I keep reporting but this weekend I filed numerous reports and there was nobody from Governance connected. This was an aggravation.

I support enhancing block controls so they are not limited to you just not seeing who you block, but also taking away all abilities to push and hit with scripts from the offending avatar.

[Lindal Kidd]

@Alexandrite,

That would actually be a good feature to have.  I too am troubled by the ability of blocked avatars to still have a physical interaction with you.  Why not submit a feature request?

[SBKT]

@DeadSet99You're probably infected with malware or a keylogger if they're able to track you anywhere like that. If you used Teamviewer or VNC at any point, then they can see your screen and send a legion after you. Make sure you keep up with safety including antivirus scans and the like. Uninstall things you're uncertain of, or if you're willing to, just wipe the whole computer and start fresh... It is only happening with the one PC, right?

@Lindal Kidd It still comes down to restricting build in the region you're in. Point it out to the moderators in question and hopefully they do something. If not, relocate yourself. Setting the build ability on the parcel in question is enough, but some instances might require expanding the restrictions to prevent things from entering the parcel as well. Turning off pushing is also an option for parcels as well.

Edited January 23, 2018 by SBKT
accidentally just sent a mention and nothing else. Added the real content.

[Lindal Kidd]

23 hours ago, SBKT said:

@Lindal Kidd It still comes down to restricting build in the region you're in. Point it out to the moderators in question and hopefully they do something. If not, relocate yourself. Setting the build ability on the parcel in question is enough, but some instances might require expanding the restrictions to prevent things from entering the parcel as well. Turning off pushing is also an option for parcels as well.

No, sorry.  I'm aware of all those tools.  Restricting object rezzing will prevent people from shooting you with bullets, but it does not prevent them from bumping into you, in person.  Turning off pushing does not prevent pushing, it simply reduces the maximum push force.  Besides, these tools are great if you have access to the land controls, but in many cases, you and the griefer/stalker will both be in an area where you don't have access to them.

You forgot to mention the best defense against pushing: sitting on an object.  But the "no physical interaction" function suggested by Alexandrite would be better yet, since sitting does limit you in what you can do.