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Malereh

Examples Of SL Meetings That Later Became RL Meetups

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I know people would get tired of that very easily. I know however not to ask for RL sex unless the other person is a little more comfortable with me.

I actually did tell my previous SL girlfriend that we either meet in real life or nothing. She never really gave me a solid answer about any of that until yesterday, so I was under the impression that we would meet up one day throughout our relationship. It's unfortunate that so many girls that talk about Second Life relationships pretty much stay things that the guy wants to hear in order to string him along. That's actually what happened with my first Second Life relationship when I first started. This sort of thing actually happens more often than you think.

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I guess that was one of the handicaps of my previous relationship, although I guess this was more of an issue with her than it was with me. She said she liked living in the suburbs while I prefer the city life (I live in NYC). She wasn't really digging the idea of starting a relationship with me.

And I guess you can't really start an SL relationship without sharing something about your RL life with the other person, even if one of them believes in the whole "SL=SL & RL=RL" mentality. Talking only about SL? As much as there are so many things you can do here, there are still a bunch of other things that are only possibe in RL that you would like to talk about. Since when was the last time you entered an arena or a statium occupied with 5000 people in SL?

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I guess it isn't as uncommon as I though, although with so many people that believe in the whole "SL=SL & RL=RL" concept on their profiles, it sure feels like most people on here are just not that into it.

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Well I don't know. I guess another handicap that I was somewhat of a fool to see while in my relationship with that my partner kept coming up with different excuses to not go on Skype with me. It's like I said, if there's no possiblity for me to meet the girl in RL, there's not going to be a possiblity for me to ever start an SL relationship with them. I probably should of have ended it after she gave me her second different excuse.

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And i guess maybe one of my mistakes was that I rushed into this relationship a little too fast. That's always been an issue for me but although in my case, I wanted to make sure that my SL relationship would be worth while and not just something done for roleplaying purposes, which are a waste of time to me. My Second Life consists of being a "player" among the SL sex clubs, so a relationship for me would tie me down I feel, hence why I'm not all that interested in SL relationships.

And I guess another mistake on my part during my last relationship was that I was too real, or too fake, whichever comes first.

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You could probably say that there's a strict double edged sword with me when it comes to SL relationships. As I said, if there's no intiuitive for the girl to see me in RL, a SL relationship is not going to happen. I guess the hard part for me in this case then would be how would I know if the other person is willing to meet if she would only be open to the idea if we are several months into our relationship. So for me, if it's not at least stated that "maybe we should take it slow, I may be open to the idea after a few months" then there wouldn't be a reason for me to be in the relationship due to my own requirements. So I guess that's one big factor as to why I'm not into SL relationships.

Another factor being that I have been in a long distance relationship before. Let's just say that it's just not something that I want to be in ever again. There are just too many possibilties that the girl will find someone in her hometown to have sex with.

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It looks like you have a lot of experience with RL meet ups. I guess I really have to motor if i wanted to meet people I've met online. I've really been slacking off on that.

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That was probably my mistake. I mentioned it already that I probably didn't give my relationship with this girl enough time and I had made a pretty hasty decision to end the relationship quickly.

And now, I guess I should probably just admit that yes, I was looking to have sex with my ex in RL if possible. However, the biggest hint that I have gotten that this was not going to happen was that she had told me that she only had sex with 3 guys in RL and was "willing to keep it that way". That, combined that she was wary of starting a relationship with me because of our differences provided the death nail for our relationship as I then knew that I wasn't going to get what i wanted out of it.

I'm actually wary myself of my SL partner wanting to marry me in RL. I have a very negative view about marriage and I honestly don't plan on getting married anytime soon. So I know that I'm basically stuck in a rut when it comes to possible SL to RL relationships, but i'm holding out hope. There is one woman that is possibly willing to meet me in RL. I can only hope she's being honest in what she says. In my experience, many ladies I've met already enjoy telling guys what they want to hear in order to string them along.

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Well I already understand that. I'm definitely not one of those forgien guys that would hit on every girl they see, both in RL and SL, and with their lack of good looks and knowledge of the English language expect to have a girlfriend overnight. I've seen that so many times it's not even funny.

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One of my alt avatars has one. Too bad it doesn't work in sims that don't allow pushing. :matte-motes-crying:

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Madelena wrote:

People can spawn relationships anywhere. You can meet someone at the grocery store while buying milk, you can meet someone at your place of employment, and/or you can meet someone in SL and take the relationship to real life. It's all possible and it's not surprising that it happens. I even heard once about a couple who met at a gas station while pumping gas. But (in my opinion) you aren't any more likely to find real life hook-ups in SL, much less sexual ones, than you are a grocery store, place of employment or gas station. SL is not match.com. And I would really question your sanity if you said you preferred not to get to know a  co-worker, a person in a gas station or a grocery clerk unless they promised a relationship and/or sex.

Any smart lady is going to be careful with their real life identity on the internet. And any self-respecting one is going to wait to decide if they want to meet someone they met online until they trust them enough to do so.

I enjoyed your RL examples. You left out 'at the Library', one which happened to me. And you're right, sex was not discussed at all. I asked if she'd like to go for a cup of coffee, which was not (and as far as I know is still not) a code-phrase for 'have sex'.

She did go for the coffee, and we went on to see each other for quite some time—there might even have been some intimate meetings before it was all over, but I can't discuss that here. She may not have been instrumental in inspiring my fondness for librarians (that was probably inevitable given my fondness for libraries) but it certainly didn't hurt.

More to the point of what you and so many other people who responded here were saying: if it's going to happen, it will happen. The OP is in my opinion completely off-base, out of line, missing the point, etc. If he wants to pursue his protocol, fine: that's certainly his right. What he shouldn't do is assume there's something 'off' about people who don't care for his approach. It's not them. It's him.

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You use the word relationship a lot but it sounds to me its a sexual encounter you are after.

Most women like to be romanced and feel loved and appreciated before they even consider meeting someone in RL.

Who wants to be a cheap lay?

If you can hold a relationship without applying pressure for her to put out meeting will come naturally though never within weeks or even few month...the risk is just too great

Trust must be 100 % first and to be honest...a guy with only sex groups in his profile doesnt raise trust to begin with..only my humble opinion...smile

 

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Hermione Lefevre wrote:

You use the word relationship a lot but it sounds to me its a sexual encounter you are after.

Most women like to be romanced and feel loved and appreciated before they even consider meeting someone in RL.

Who wants to be a cheap lay?

If you can hold a relationship without applying pressure for her to put out meeting will come naturally though never within weeks or even few month...the risk is just too great

Trust must be 100 % first and to be honest...a guy with only sex groups in his profile doesnt raise trust to begin with..only my humble opinion...smile

 

This. If what you're looking for is random RL sex then I suggest the sites already set up for that 'cause you probably ain't gettin' it through sl.

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Malereh wrote:

It looks like you have a lot of experience with RL meet ups. I guess I really have to motor if i wanted to meet people I've met online. I've really been slacking off on that.

Keep in mind the four romantic relationships were over a 15 year period. When I met each of the men online I was absolutely not "looking" for a relationship.  Two of the men I met in general IRC chat channels, we enjoyed the group chat and then began chatting in IMs.  The other two I met in IRC rp channels and, again, just hit it off over time interacting within the public rp.

I had known two of the men online and via talking on the phone (prior to Skype) at least 9 months before meeting in person.  The third, the man who lived in my city, asked me to dinner after a few conversations online; we met at a restaurant and began dating from there.  That relationship was more like the traditional meeting someone in RL that progressed to dating and to a relationship, it just happened that our initial meeting was online.

The fourth man that I met online and did not wait a long time prior to meeting was a major disaster.  Had I given it more time online prior to meeting RL I would likely have picked up on some of the "cues" that would then have caused me to end the online relationship prior to meeting RL.  Time is your friend. :)

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Malereh wrote:

That was probably my mistake. I mentioned it already that I probably didn't give my relationship with this girl enough time and I had made a pretty hasty decision to end the relationship quickly.


So let me get this straight...in NYC, where you can go to a stadium with 5000 people, you can't find a gf RL or even a one-night-stand?  Not that I'm advocating this just that, since you have now stated your primary motivation, I would think there would be a lot of opportunity where you live vs someone who lived in small-town USA.

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I am curious as to how long do you wait to consider a relationship serious enough to exchange RL information. I would gladly share personal RL stuff with someone I am serious about however it wouldn't be just a few weeks. It would take months. Im talking 6 months plus. I could be wrong but you seem like an instant gratification person. If its not right away you back off. Like I said I could be wrong but from your post it seems you don't like to wait and you throw away easily. After the death of my fiance (whom I met on sl and was a LTR) I swore I would never share my RL info and yet a select few have cracked my walls. So sometimes when comfortable a woman can change her mind. However no rushing is involved.

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Malereh wrote:

Maybe online and LDR relationships "work", but not for me. They equal no RL sex, not a good deal for me.

 

Then why don't you log off SL, go out into the big, bright world and find yourself a real, live girl if that's what you seek? Why try to impose so many RL/SL restrictions on something (SL) that is meant to be partaken of ONLINE?

 

It's not a dating agency. It's not a hook up joint - and you shouldn't see it as such.

 

You're setting yourself up for disappointment time and time again.

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Sephina, I find that sharing RL info should not be in any way compromising your security. You can share almost all of it without any fear. Your real name is critical. Hard to find someone without knowing their name, right! Otherwise, you can create skype accounts with your SL name. You can share emails with a hotmail account. Share RL photos. There are only a few things not to share so as to keep your true identity private and prevent some weirdo from knocking on your door.

Otherwise sharing your RL details, but keeping your privacy, is very important. I cannot imagine developing true feelings without knowing about a person's RL. I just do not see that happening. PPL grow towards each other by knowing them better. You don't have to know the name of the street they live on but living in a suburb of Dallas in a nice neighborhood is enough to get the picture.  

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I guess that probably the best advice one can give when it comes to a situation like this. I take it from the responses that I have gotten already that gaining a woman's trust can be quite a headache, and I can just imagine how it could be for someone like me that might hope above all hope that the girl's emotions would warm up to me, but losing hope myself the longer time goes on.

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That's quite infruiating to hear; a woman that would throw away her existing relationship to be with another man, whether or not they clicked. People can rest assured that I wouldn't start a relationship with someone that would destory their own current relationship to be with me.

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I guess you got me, but this is only after being in so many bad and toxic relationships that I have decided to be less risky in a matter of emotions and more outgoing in seeking something that I want, and can get for free. So yes, I might be only after one thing, but that's just how it is for me.

By the way, I really wasn't joking about someone offering me plane tickets to visit her. She was quite serious about it until she backed down.

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Well it's true. I really would not be able to handle a LDR or SL relationship without a promise to meet. It's like I said, I've been in several bad relationships already.

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Well I kinda understand that, although I might still be baffled as to why so many women these days are deadset against revealing anything about them as long as they don't reveal too much. I've always had an easier time talking to women in SL as I could talk to several at once, and there's always that risk of being slapped and bing called a "creep" in RL, although I still take the risk myself. I guess it's just the easyness when it comes to getting "sex" in SL that makes all the difference, although I know that that usually wouldn't lead to RL meet ups.

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Well I never said that there was anything "off" about people who might not like the way I do things. I certainly don't expect to get much praise or luck for how I handle things, but there sure is a convinience in finding people online as opposed to in RL. I could literally talk to 20 women in a row and at least one might speak to me back, although I will say, it does feel like a job.

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It's kind of funny when it comes to all the things I've been taught about relationships. I was at first taught what you just said; being romantic and everything. It actually ended up with me becoming a doormat and being waled all over. I was then told that if I wanted to stop that, that I should be aggresive and confident. Now I'm being told to be romantic again. Pretty confusing.

 

But yes, I might as well admit being only after one thing, but I've learned long ago not to care what others thing. I guess I learned that after I decided to stop being a Nice Guy.

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