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Comfortable in your new skin


Sephina Frostbite
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I have had my same skin for three years and where it is still far more detailed then a lot of new ones and she is still a beauty I took the step to start buying other skins. I think Ive wasted about 20k in skins. I found some demos I loved and so I bought it and then switch. That when I would look at her and pick and fuss. I would find excuses to go back to my other skin, despite the fact that all the skins I have bought are flawless. I always find something wrong. I really want to get over this.

Has anybody had that experience and how did you get over it? It doesn't feel like me yet I want a new look. Im probably being silly but its a harder transformation then I thought. Some people seem to be able to shape shift no problems no emotions attached and here I am not able to change my skin.

 

EDIT: Spelling

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I feel your pain!  I just finally found a new skin I loved after several years of being in the same skin. My old skin was very very good, very high detail, but I wanted a change.  I still fill weird in my new skin, even though I love it.


Why? Because she's me!  It's like I had plastic surgery or something and changed who I was!


We get attached to our avatars. They are part of our identity.  I think this is a good thing. :)

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Of course there are exceptions, but I think it depends on how you view your avatar.  Those people who view it as a character they play probably have no problem switching skins, hair, eyes etc and looking completely different when they do.  Those that view their avatar as an extension of themselves probably have a harder time with it. It would be like having plastic surgery in RL that makes you look completely different.

Personally I don't switch skins very often. I only buy a new skin when the current generation of skins make my avatar look more real.  The last time I switched, it took me over three months to find the right skin.  I am picky about them.  The body has to look right and i don't want the skin to change my facial appearance, just improve it.  If after switching skins I am still comfortable with my avatar and people notice that I look better but don't know it's because of a new skin, then I have found the right one.

Right now the trend seems to be pale pale skin and an overall look that screams very young teen to me or the fish face punk look.  Neither look is for me.  I know some people switch their avi's appearance to follow the latest fashion trends, which is fine for them but not me.  I am not a follower and would rather go my way with my own original look which I like and see no reason to change.     

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I agree that it's all part of who you are...

I've had the same skin since I started in SL. Tex was originally an ALT (now become my main), so I took some money and went out and bought a really nice skin that I thought suited him. At the urging of a friend, I tried another look. She really liked it...thought he was really sexy..but I prefer my normal look. So basically, I've used the same skin since 2009. I like it.....not really interested in changing.

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It's not weird and I haven't gotten over it :) It took me a long time to find another skin that didn't change my face. I only have 2 skins. My original on this av and the one I finally purchased. I was lucky to find one that didn't change my face. I never wanted to change my look, just enhance the realism of the skin. I can fully understand  picking the new skins apart, because they don't feel like the same as when you connected with your av when you made her :)

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I have vitiligo in RL and wear (increasingly less) makeup to cover it on my face. During my first Second Life, I spent weeks looking for a pale skin to match my winter RL look and ended up wearing that for the next two and half years. I've been tempted to alter my SL skin to depict my RL vitiligo, but haven't done so yet. For my second Second Life, I was unable to find a skin with modest makeup, so I made my own from a base skin I found on the web. I've been wearing it for nearly three years.

So, like you, I don't change skins often (or ever really). Nor do I change hair. I find hair to be a more distinguishing feature of SL avis than skin, probably because it's identifiable from a greater distance. I have probably worn no more than half a dozen hair styles in my five years here, and only one in the last couple.

I think AO is much the same. I've worn the same Vista "Perfect Girl" AO for nearly five years now.

I'm just as loathe to make changes in RL. When I was a newlywed, I found a pair of basic pumps that were comfy, looked nice and were available in a rainbow of colors. I bought two dozen pair. That was 20 years ago and I still have all but a couple pair of the black and navy in my closet. I've done the same with clothing (particularly jeans) partly as a way of encouraging myself to maintain my weight.

I recently joined a community theater, and for the first time in my life, altered my look signficantly to play a role. It was great fun and not unlike dressing up as a ghost or a mouse in SL. Nevertheless, I was happy in both worlds to get back into my vitiligo and short blonde haired self.

I'd like to say this is a sign of my comfort in my own skin, but friends are just as likely to say it's because I'm lazy.

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I understand all too well, Sephina :)  For years I wore a LAQ skin exclusively, it was just me, a look I was happy with. I can't tell you how many Lindens I spent on others trying to find something different or better, but I always went back to my original because I felt like a stranger. Like you, I always found a flaw to make me change back.  But over the past 6 months I found, with the help of a very dear friend, a new skin and a new shape and I love the new me, I won't ever go back to the old look.  I hope you can eventually feel that way about a new skin, because sometimes, change can be good :)

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I find the best way to work through this feeling is to update all at once. Get a new skin you adore, and with that skin, tweak the shape, get new hair, buy some new outfits, maybe fix up your ao, whatever. 

I've recently changed an avatar I had (my main) for nearly 3 years, with only updating a skin when one presented itself (it's hard to find a young looking face and non-muscular stomach for boys v___v) which was very rare. 

I recently got him an all new skin, added on a freckle layer that I was used to from my very first skin!! got him a new hair COLOR (I only ever had him in black with a red streak in his bangs - he's ginger now wow) and new ears/piercings, a few new outfits, new stands in my ao, everything.

It took me a moment to get used to seeing orange hair but with the total overhaul I found it easier to adapt to the new look as a whole, not just stressing over a new skin and that's it. 

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The "advantage" of not being caucasian is there are almost no choices for me in SL for skin - so I save money in this regard. Though this isn't really why I switch skin so rarely.

 

On the one hand the lack of choices means everyone on my end of the spectrum ends up on the same few skins, but on the other hand I can't tell much difference with most of the skins in SL anyway... Maybe sefver-side-baking will fix that, but "they all look alike" kind of holds for me here - and sometimes I wonder if they're all not copying each other.

Lack of choices for me though means I fuss less over little details, and if its more or less decent I go for it. If I can even get one that doesn't have that 'ash colored' look from being a darkened caucasian base that still has the wrong shadows and highlights, I consider myself lucky. :)

I've been pretty much on the same skin for a long time now. Though in furry form I've switched around a bit - for my neko look once I managed to find one of a deep enough shade, I've stuck to it. The furry - Its just been hard to find a cat furry that I realy liked, but I think I've had one now since mid-late 2012.

My avatar has essentially had 4 skins since coming 'back' to SL in 2009: The one I grabbed on initial login that was a 'dark' shade of a popular PSD freebie, but was lighter in tone than even a jersey tan. One labeled 'dark' that was still very light, but had neko spots... and then two African skins from the same shop - having switched when he put out a better one, and when I decided to stop using a tattoo layer of neko spots.

 

Once I find the comfort zone that feels like "me" I like to stick with it, for each alt... and each then has its own theme, albeit all very similar. So I do buy more - but per account: with each alt being a visual theme.

Though the place I bought it from hasn't had a new product in almost a year or more - so I wonder if they'll be around much longer...

 

 

 

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You could get your skin custom made as many real skin designers who does not use kits but makes there own base could make you a one off depending on designer between 5k to 10k but a lot of work involved:smileywink:

Food for thought HD High Definition Skin is way to go as well but as custom could be made using HD Photos of you in real life cut out depends how far you want to take it and if designer has the time:smileywink:

I use my real life measurements then i use templates using my real life photos the work was done by drift monde who was a very talented resident it is a several years old but still looks like superduper new:smileyhappy:

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I haven't brought many skins in the past, because my taste doesn't seem to fit the mainstream. I like my skin pale, but not like a vampire. Sadly I often just get the choice between all shades of tanned skin. The perfect skin for me also doesn't have any make-up, especially not around the eyes. I love my make-up and tattoos and doesn't want to be tied to what the creator thinks is pretty.

Also quite a lot skins either tend to be for fishface ponyriders or for drama-diva-queens who spend their time dressing up for ballrooms. Both not my style.

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Sephina Frostbite wrote: 
[...] I always find something wrong. I really want to get over this [...]

Why? There's no 'mandatory update' (we already have far too much of that with the viewers, lol), you can stay with your skin for as long as it pleases you the most; it's one thing to keep an eye on new products that could either improve on what you always wanted your avatar to look like, or suggest a minor/major change in looks that you end up fancying enough.

But updating for the sake of updating is dangerously close to 'I don't actually like this new skin as much as the old one, but I don't want to look like I'm three years out of date' ... too close to wanting to please others, instead of yourself.

You don't need to 'get over' anything... SL has flexibility enough (not just in avatar products, but in how and why you decide to use some and not others) that it can, and in fact should adapt to you, instead of the other way around :smileywink:

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Syo Emerald wrote:

I haven't brought many skins in the past, because my taste doesn't seem to fit the mainstream. I like my skin pale, but not like a vampire. Sadly I often just get the choice between all shades of tanned skin. The perfect skin for me also doesn't have any make-up, especially not around the eyes. I love my make-up and tattoos and doesn't want to be tied to what the creator thinks is pretty.

Also quite a lot skins either tend to be for fishface ponyriders or for drama-diva-queens who spend their time dressing up for ballrooms. Both not my style.

you say that like you don't WANT to look like snookie!? HOW CAN THAT BE!?

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Pussycat Catnap wrote:

The "advantage" of not being caucasian is there are almost no choices for me in SL for skin - so I save money in this regard. Though this isn't really why I switch skin so rarely.

 

On the one hand the lack of choices means everyone on my end of the spectrum ends up on the same few skins, but on the other hand I can't tell much difference with most of the skins in SL anyway... Maybe sefver-side-baking will fix that, but "they all look alike" kind of holds for me here - and sometimes I wonder if they're all not copying each other.

Lack of choices for me though means I fuss less over little details, and if its more or less decent I go for it. If I can even get one that doesn't have that 'ash colored' look from being a darkened caucasian base that still has the wrong shadows and highlights, I consider myself lucky.
:)

I've been pretty much on the same skin for a long time now. Though in furry form I've switched around a bit - for my neko look once I managed to find one of a deep enough shade, I've stuck to it. The furry - Its just been hard to find a cat furry that I realy liked, but I think I've had one now since mid-late 2012.

My avatar has essentially had 4 skins since coming 'back' to SL in 2009: The one I grabbed on initial login that was a 'dark' shade of a popular PSD freebie, but was lighter in tone than even a jersey tan. One labeled 'dark' that was still very light, but had neko spots... and then two African skins from the same shop - having switched when he put out a better one, and when I decided to stop using a tattoo layer of neko spots.

 

Once I find the comfort zone that feels like "me" I like to stick with it, for each alt... and each then has its own theme, albeit all very similar. So I do buy more - but per account: with each alt being a visual theme.

Though the place I bought it from hasn't had a new product in almost a year or more - so I wonder if they'll be around much longer...

 

 

 

i hated that being limited like that..i mean hated when i seen a skin i wanted and they just didn't have my tone..

so i finally started to look in to tone layers and tattoo's and found a few that really are nice..

so now i can have more freedom in tone..

plus in the summertime i can darken up like i naturally do in rl..

it was one of thos ethings i found and sat there thinking to myself..

why did i not think of doing this before lol

 

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Its hard to find a great top of the line quality skin for slightly darker then tan skin. I saw a tan skin other day and it was white when I grabbed there deep tan version it was black. I have no place for me.. lol But I love your tone ceka! You always look like you are going to kick someone a(s)s and can do it with ease lol. 

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the tones i use are tatto packs that you can wear over your skin..all they do is make a skin darker in slight changes..

 

like

light

medium

medium dark

dark

and you can even put on a few at a time and experiment..

they change nothing but the tone look of your skin

 

so if you have a white skin or light skin..you can adjust thier tone with the tattoo's

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Sephina Frostbite wrote:

I have had my same skin for three years and where it is still far more detailed then a lot of new ones and she is still a beauty I took the step to start buying other skins. I think Ive wasted about 20k in skins. I found some demos I loved and so I bought it and then switch. That when I would look at her and pick and fuss. I would find excuses to go back to my other skin, despite the fact that all the skins I have bought are flawless. I always find something wrong. I really want to get over this.

Has anybody had that experience and how did you get over it? It doesn't feel like me yet I want a new look. Im probably being silly but its a harder transformation then I thought. Some people seem to be able to shape shift no problems no emotions attached and here I am not able to change my skin.

 

EDIT: Spelling

I'm very comfortable in my skin :) Pre-2008 I used to have the same problem  finding a skin. I got so fed up with it, I decided to make my own. The great thing about making your own is that you can continually upgrade it. I've changed my skin thousands of times but the changes are so subtle only I would see the short term difference.

IMO what many people face in skin shopping is as old as SL itself. Skin images you see on the package or in fashion blogs are overly photoshoped. When you put on the skin you say “this isn't what I purchased". So many people are fooled into thinking they are getting the same product as they see in an image.

Anyone who goes inworld regularly knows avatars don't project the same way as you see them in the enhanced images on people’s profiles or sales ads. This is one of the biggest scams in SL. What's worse are the people who propagate the scam by photoshoping their image and then giving a list of credits in support for the merchant. These people are obvious and are typically the first ones to post a reply to someone asking for a type of skin.

 

While it may seem at first to be a difficult task (making your own skin) in the end you can customize it anyway you choose.

 

New isn't always better. Some people may like wearing makeup applied by a 13 year old, every skin imperfection in the world or eyelashes that resemble facial hair. Others do not. In the end, it's about your own personal preferences and what better way to get them right but to do it yourself.

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Ceka Cianci wrote:

the tones i use are tatto packs that you can wear over your skin..all they do is make a skin darker in slight changes..

 

like

light

medium

medium dark

dark

and you can even put on a few at a time and experiment..

they change nothing but the tone look of your skin

 

so if you have a white skin or light skin..you can adjust thier tone with the tattoo's

In actuality they do more than that. This process is similar to adding a layer of shading to a final skin texture in gimp or photoshop. Not only does it change the base tone, it changes all the shadowing and highlighting of the texture. If it were for a head texture, it would change the lipstick and makeup shade as well.

The only way to change only the base tone is with the original base file. If these products only changed the base tone, you could lighten up a skin as well but of course you can't.

I'm not saying it's a bad alternative but it does more than advertised.

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Suspiria Finucane wrote:


Ceka Cianci wrote:

the tones i use are tatto packs that you can wear over your skin..all they do is make a skin darker in slight changes..

 

like

light

medium

medium dark

dark

and you can even put on a few at a time and experiment..

they change nothing but the tone look of your skin

 

so if you have a white skin or light skin..you can adjust thier tone with the tattoo's

In actuality they do more than that. This process is similar to adding a layer of shading to a final skin texture in gimp or photoshop. Not only does it change the base tone, it changes all the shadowing and highlighting of the texture. If it were for a head texture, it would change the lipstick and makeup shade as well.

The only way to change only the base tone is with the original base file. If these products only changed the base tone, you could lighten up a skin as well but of course you can't.

I'm not saying it's a bad alternative but it does more than advertised.

that is all part of the skins..all the dodge and burn and shading..there is where a lot of the detail comes from to make a skin look more realistic..

it's going to changethe tone of what ever it covers..

 

just as if you put a big black tattoo over your whole back..it's going to cover your whole back..

in other words..all the lighting and shading on a skin is one layer..where in photoshop  can be countless layers..

same goes for details that are not shaded yet..they can be put on their own layer in PS and the shading on it's own..

but the final product in sl is one layer that tats will change the tone of the skin which is everything..

so no it's not more than i advertised..because makup and shading is part of the skin..

they are not drastic changes either..

and changing everything keeps things looking more natural..especially on a more realistic skin..

 

you can go as extreme in tone change as you want or just a touch darker..

that is how they get the different tones in a skin pack..they don't make all those colors one by one..they change the tone..

plus most skin makers also sell makup anyways..but it's never messed my makup  up or shading at all..

everything stays nice and uniform..

 

the main point was..there are options for people that cannot find a darker version of the skin they are wanting..

sothis was one that works for me that i figured i would let some know about with the same problem i used to have..

 

the skin i have in my forum avatar..i have a lighter version and a darker versiion of it..but i wanted something inbetween..

that is where i just used the lightest one and it worked really nice for me =)

i'll see if i can find something on flickr with it.

 

ok found the pic..this is a skin with a tone tat on it..the hands are  different tone because they are sculpt..

i wish i could find one with the actual color to show that it's not really drastic at all..hehehehe

5906444424_9031ea409d_b.jpg

 

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Sephina Frostbite wrote:

Wouldnt the make up stay the same if its applied after the tat layer is put on?

Yes, tattoo layers stack in the order you wear them. If the last layer you wear is an overall tint, it will tint everything underneath. If the last layer you wear is something like lipstick, it will cover only the lips, thereby hiding the tint. This is why you have to be careful about the order of eyelashes and eye shadow/liner. Lashes have to go on last, or they might be covered by the shadow/liner.

ETA: I generally wear only lipstick and eye shadow, which don't conflict. So I don't know what happens if you wear an outfit containing multiple tattoo layers, which might not stack the in the order you added them when making the outfit.

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Suspiria Finucane wrote:

I'm very comfortable in my skin
:)
Pre-2008 I used to have the same problem  finding a skin. I got so fed up with it, I decided to make my own. The great thing about making your own is that you can continually upgrade it. I've changed my skin thousands of times but the changes are so subtle only I would see the short term difference.

IMO what many people face in skin shopping is as old as SL itself. Skin images you see on the package or in fashion blogs are overly photoshoped. When you put on the skin you say “this isn't what I purchased". So many people are fooled into thinking they are getting the same product as they see in an image.

Anyone who goes inworld regularly knows avatars don't project the same way as you see them in the enhanced images on people’s profiles or sales ads. This is one of the biggest scams in SL. What's worse are the people who propagate the scam by photoshoping their image and then giving a list of credits in support for the merchant. These people are obvious and are typically the first ones to post a reply to someone asking for a type of skin.

 

You don’t see a RL brand of cosmetics  going to Wal-Mart, asking random customers if they will model for the newest product.  And photograph them right there in the parking lot after they got 5 minutes with the lipstick and a hairbrush. That would be the most realistic way to show how it truly looks.

Yet in SL you mean skin designers should turn off their Nvidia graphic card and use the built in graphic that can hardly deal with SL, turn off antialiasing and then photograph their skins in standard SL light at noon? LOL, you can’t blame them for wanting to make an attractive ad. Most skin creators does not cheat and fix up images. A good graphic card and windlight setting can really give images that’s compared to studio light and professional stylists in RL.

As long as they offer demos, I don’t see your point. That is what demos are for. The ad make people notice the skin, the demo gives the facts how it looks on your avatar with your computer.

Bloggers often photoshop the images, but you can still demo it. I once heard one guy bickering about how he was disappointed with his skin. When asking if he tried the demo first he said: “No”. I haven't heard it after. A lot of ppl demo skins and hair without buying, simply because it don't look right on them. That is how it should work.

 

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I have to agree with Susperia here.. I don't think any ads for SL items should be photoshopped. That highlights the skills in photoshop not their products. I use the "avatar optimized whiter" windlight setting for my pics. The only GIMP work i do is layering the info on the pic. Do most ads look better than mine, sure.. Do mine accurately show what the items will look like in SL.. most assuredly.

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Sephina Frostbite wrote:

Wouldnt the make up stay the same if its applied after the tat layer is put on?

ya if you use another tattoo after..it will be sitting ontop of the tone changer tats.

all the tone tat's do is change whatever is on the skin layer itself.. just as they do in pretty much most skin fatpacks..

and whatever is sitting below them that is a tattoo..

 

 

 

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