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Symphony of Immersion - My Take on Love on SL


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"And when you have reached the very depths of your soul, when you have felt the exhilaration of love and felt the very pits of pain; you will come to understand all things of the Heart and Mind." 

 

It has been a very long time since I posted last on these forums, if you search my name my last post was just after the breakup of a very long relationship. After the battles of cancer, of alcoholic abuse and family troubles, I have come to the understanding of what works for me. I am still single, but only cause I choose to. To this point I have had to work to fix issues in my life, and come full circle to the realisation that I am happy and ready again. But I will not settle for anything. I know what I seek. Being on AVMATCH under the 'Symphony of Immersion' name which has become a mantra for me for immersion is key for me. Immersion of reality within my SL. 

When one immerses himself or herself within SL, they choose the style that best suites them. If you choose to separate your offline from your online, you will go into SL with a different set of guidelines and moral coded principles. If you are like me, and don't separate offline from online, you take the aspects of fantasy on SL but you fuse it into your everyday aspects, you will feel each friend as if they are there with you, you will share each emotion as if they are fireworks seen in the sky. 

During my cancer treatments I heard someone quote this "Change your thoughts and you change your world around you" and indeed that was the case. I chose to accept and believe that life was important and worth living and that I was full of love. I am a man who wants something and someone real. Therefore if a woman is married or in a offline long term relationship, she is not for me. For me, if I was married I would hate to know my wife was with another, for a relationship is like a string, joined and when you cut the string, you can never rejoin it. Hence I see a relationship in such a way. 

So I say to anyone reading this, the symphony of your SL is your own song to create. But if you create a symphony full of deceit, alts, cheating and lies, your SL existence will be full of drama. However if you choose to create a harmonious symphony full of loyalty, respect, honesty and love, you will find a SL existence full of richness. Immerse yourself. But stay true to who you are offline. Do not forget who you are, bring yourself inworld. 

And I leave this post with a new poem I wrote of Immersion. Namaste

Untitled poem - Monday 17th June 2013 

It was as if the weight of the world lifted off me 
When you turned and smiled at me, and offered your hand
I took that offered hand and stood up and fell into your waiting embrace
And I felt the heat of your body on mine, like the sun on the sky
I held you close and your beautiful touch took me in
I was lost within your soul, you were my radiance

In that very moment I knew I loved you so very much
And I didn't want to let you go
To be with you my love
You were my sun, my moon, my world 
You were everything to me
You whispered "Let me be your anchor in this world of pain" 
I whispered "Yes baby" 
I caste my anchor and it plunged until it felt purchase

I felt your nails on the back of my neck
I felt your breath on my throat, 
You clung onto me and I clung onto you
To understand, eventually

We were each other's anchor 
We were each others purchase 
I took from you and you took from me
I looked into your eyes and saw myself in you
And you saw yourself in me
I traced my fingers across your lips
I slid my lips to your ear and said 
"Let me be your armour, let me be your crossing point" 
And a catch of breath as we kissed
Lost in infinity, lost in eternity

You and I descended into the sun, to become Phoenixes 
It was as if the weight of the world lifted from me 
When we held each other
We made our home in the sun. 
Forever firebrands. Of Love

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I'm not sure if I should think of you as a beautiful human being or as a complete idiot.  If I wasn't pressed to choose, I'd say you're both.  I say this only as a person who has felt like a complete idiot for loving as deeply as I have, only to be hurt as you have.

I've loved someone before in SL, probably as strongly as you have... no doubt as strongly as I've loved anyone else before.  It came as a stark realization that my love for this person reached beyond that which was possible in a virtual world.  I felt as if I could not be without them in RL and yet being with them in RL wasn't possible.  My heart yearned for them and that yearning hurt very, very badly.  Something had to give... there is no way for that kind of pain to be sustained for that long.  It simply had to end.

The end was more painful to me than any breakup that I'd ever experienced in RL.  And all because I couldn't stop myself from wanting, so badly, something that I knew I couldn't have.  I know how meaningful SL relationships can be, but I also know that, no matter how meaningful they are, eventually, they just won't be enough.

I hope that the next time you attempt to find the love of your life in a virtual world, you're able to make it transition into something truly meaningful.  An LED monitor and a back-lit keyboard on your desktop, hold no comparison to a warm body in your bed.

...Dres

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Dres, 

That is a beautiful sharing of your experience. I fully realise how many others before and even after me have felt the true definition of love online, and I know of many friends who have transitioned into an offline environment. 

In the end we all want the same thing; to feel love, to be in love and to have that other person return the love to us just as much if not more. Life isn't a fairytale but Love can be its own fairytale. I like to think of myself as a idiot savant. I continue to learn on both realms online and offline, an ever rich virtuosity. 

For me the end of the 5 year relationship was tough and yet here I am, learned alot and ready again. Made me a stronger and better person for the experience. And I know next time I find love I will attempt the transition....with the right woman. 

Thank-you again Dres 

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Curiouser and curiouser, said Alice.

 

I'm not entirely sure what to think about this thread. It's always been my MO in relationships to never form attachments to people who I will never be able to meet up with in RL. Any 'online' relationship I've ever started has always, always been with the intention that it was as real as any real life relationship I'd enter. For me, my truth is that I cannot separate how I feel about a person just because they're online and many miles away. I accept who they represent themselves as completely, and I represent myself in the only way I know how to--by being me.


And so, KNOWING MYSELF--and note, to say you know yourself is an empowering phrase to murmur, even more so to believe in--I refuse to become attached to people who will not be a good match for me, whether that means location, financially, or health-wise. If I note that I feel those things toward them, I disappear. I do things with my life in other areas. I become more immersed in the real world for a reality check. I go to the park. I go through my banking account to see how wisely I'm using my own expenses. I start an exercise regime. I do all the things that are needed to get me to a place where the said person does not occupy my mind.


This is IMPOSSIBLE to do after those romantic, deep feelings have already fully matured and formed, which take at least a year to properly build. It's always possible to hault in the early stages. 

 

That sickening feeling of need and dread of being without a person at the beginning of any romantic spark is just an illusion, and a proccupation of the mind. It's not love. Most of the times, it's not even lust. It's co-dependency starting to take root. 

 

I've been in a long distance relationship for a year with a man (who despises SL) for at a least a year. We live on separate ends of two different countries. Airplane tickets to see each other range between 800 ~ 1000. We both have jobs and bills to pay. Things are always rather bleak for me.  There's nothing more I want than to be with him, every second of every day, and I'm forced to contend with that I only get to see him for a week at a time every four months, and that's if a financial crisis starts up. He is, simply put, my best friend and my only true sexual interest. I'm happier logging on just to half-heartedly hangout with him on Skype, than I am with every failed dating experiment I've tried in the real world. I nearly every free moment with him, and yet by the next day, that never seems enough.

 

It's hopeless to think about, at times, that it will take either of us a year before we're able to live together. Longer than that to cement resident permits to be able to do it legally, to be able to find a permanent home for the both of us. Maybe things will go on the way as they are now forever and ever. I'm not sure. But it's bearable, for now. And I'm happy with the arrangement for now. I have the freedom I need, and we still learn new things about each other day.


But if it were ever to become IMPOSSIBLE for us to move in with each other, or to be in a situation where we would see each other more often than this--and that's excluding if any health emergency should arise--then no, I wouldn't be able to go on with it. I would have to eventually end it, because I am a person with a life beyond the virtual word. I want to have children. I want to start and create a family one day. I can't do that  by sitting on a computer or cell phone every day for my romantic needs.


Until we're with each other, we're making it work so that we're both happy. We're completely open and upfront with each other. We make each other the priority. If we feel as if we're not getting enough attention, we speak up about it. If we're feeling particularly jealous about a certain individual, we don't mince words--we speak up about it, and talk it out like adults. If we have an issue with how either of us is behaving, we listen, and we don't get butthurt and wounded over honest opinions. We talk it out, and we come to a solution that fills us both with love for each other. We constantly find ways to keep ourselves immersed with each other. He won't play SL with me (hates it, loathes it), but he will play other games with me, like Guild Wars,  and RP games. We CONSTANTLY watch movies and TV series with each other, by talking on skype while watching episodes and movies at the same time. We occasionally read to each other, when all else fails, since we like the sound of each other's voice. And when we have absolutely nothing to say, we both share with each other things that we find on the internet that amuses us. Many days have gone by where the majority of our interactions was sharing pictures we laughed at off of imgur together.

 

If you feel Second Life is your only key to finding a new relationship, then don't give up hope, but don't do it stupidly either. Don't form an attachment with someone all the way across the world if you don't have the financial ability to buy an air ticket to go see them. Don't start an attachment with someone who you know to be a shady character. Don't form an attachment with a polyamorous individual when you're monogamous. Etc. etc. etc. 

 

Anywho, I wish you both luck! Sorry for the novelization.

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