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3 years and no friends to show.


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I've been here a long time and don't have many friends to show for it either. Over 50 on my FL and maybe 3 or 4 of them talk to me regularly. I'm mostly at fault for this, though. I vanish for months at a time and hardly talk to others. I wait for people to talk to me instead and even then, sometimes I'm too anxious or uninterested in conversation to carry it on long.

And then I wonder why I'm lonely, heh. :c 

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Treyu wrote:

I've been here a long time and don't have many friends to show for it either. Over 50 on my FL and maybe 3 or 4 of them talk to me regularly. I'm mostly at fault for this, though. I vanish for months at a time and hardly talk to others. I wait for people to talk to me instead and even then, sometimes I'm too anxious or uninterested in conversation to carry it on long.

And then I wonder why I'm lonely, heh. :c 

So then you or any others in this thread should send me or another an IM and say Hi.

 

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I think the best way to make friends is to become part of a community. You could try joining in the conversations on the dance floor at a club that has a good crowd, say like Big Daddy's 80's club and Wet Willies Rock club, both of which are busy 24/7, or by joining a group like the RP groups or now days there are a lot of Motorcycle Clubs in world. These communities can be a little tough to crack, some are harsh on new people but if you stick with it you can usually make a friend or two that will last the distance. It is about putting in a little effort though, having something to say, messaging people in a friendly manner and having a discussion and stuff :)

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hi Moz!!! I'm Sierra and have been in sl for 3 years.  i know exactly how you feel. sometimes it gets very lonley.  I had a big friends list like 200+ which i narrowed down at 40 people. i talk to 8 of them regularly the others are mere acquaintances. i think most people in sl sl are too busy doing their own thing, whatever might that be. time zones can pain in the a...also. anyways, i i'm a novice builder, i like dancing, rping in gor and bloodlines, sim hopping and shopping. feel free to hit me up in world. huggies, take care till then.

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I'm a long time SLer, most of my friends have moved on in their RL's, which I have too, but I still have time to play.  I would love to have new friends to hang out with, goof off with, or just go to a club or two.  I've been really interested in live shows as of lately, I have two singers that I always try to attend their shows.  I get intimidated to strike up a conversation at times too, I think a lot of us feel this way, but we need to break out of our shell if we want some company.  So here I am, doing just that, hit me up in world if you'd like to chat or hang out sometime! :D

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I am a rather early user of SL (nearly 8 years). My friends from those early days are mostly gone, moved on. Kind of like RL. So when this happens its time to make new friends. And yes... they come and they go, just like in RL! You have had some friends over your 3 years and if they were real good friends, they would still be there. 

You cannot measure your friendships by how often they IM you. Its up to you to maintain your friendships. Just like you would a loving relationship. As I make friends either by a casual meeting, over several meetings or even a romantic situation, I take time out while inworld to IM them. Just to say hello, how are you and whats going on. I always look at their profile page to look for changes or new pictures and to also see what notes I wrote about them. I use this 'Notes" area for information I learn about my friends so I can have a more meaningful relationship. 

It doesn't matter if they IM you or not. If they really like you then you will hear from them on occasion. The woman you met that wanted to know where you were and what you were doing each minute is a little extreme but it shows you that some ppl do care. PPL cannot read your mind. So when you do meet someone and they become a friend, you IM them! Do it on a regular basis too. Don't bother them all the time. Just say hi.

About meeting ppl, thats so easy. Just say hi. Real simple. Whats the worst thing that can happen? Rejection! Well guess what... theres a lot of us out there and the good ones of us will say hi back at you. Keep saying hi.

Let me tell you what I do:

I will go to a club or ballroom or any type of normal event or even a special interest event that I like. Then I check out the single women in the place. I will even check out any beautiful woman too that is with a guy. What do I mean check out? Well, I look at their outfits, their skin, their shape. I look at all the details. This tells me about my first impressions. The ones I like, I then check out their profiles which is why for me their profiles are so important. It tells me about them. What they write about themselves and their likes and the groups they belong to tells me even more. So with all this intial information, I will just IM them and tell them they look great or the outfit is really stunning or anything that is a compliment that they would like. Maybe even something from their profile. But its just saying hello with some kindness. If they are kind as well, they will respond. And off you go. Wherever it leads you. just like in RL. But in RL, you don't have this ability to get some information before you say hello.

If you are just a boring person then fix that in yourself. We all have value. The things we know, the places we have been, the experiences of our lives and the loves of our lives. Women love to share their love lives when they want to find a friend. They want to know about your love life too. Just share things. Be brave. You will not be punished, I promise, but instead you will be rewarded. 

If you are a loner in RL and when you are in SL and behave the same way, guess what... you will still be a loner. Sl gives you a chance without penalty to learn about friendships and relationships. Yes, there are real ppl behind each avatar but finding out whom they are and why they are in SL is definately wothwhile. Don't hurt ppl. Have your morals and ethics in place. I pormise that if you follow some of this advise that you will gain friendships and maybe even a SL relationship. And it will be these things that may contribute favorably to your RL. 

Good luck!

 

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I have the same issues,can't seem to make friends .I have my sissy and we like to have pool parties ....send me ims and you can all come hang with me and my sis ,I must warn you tho i'm not much of a talker at first but I like to have fun and  learn to open up we can help each other out and become friends,have a get together :matte-motes-smile:..........hope you all will come over..........

 

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