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Syo Emerald

Why do people hide their groups?

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I was wondering today why some people hide their groups. Are they ashamed of their groups? Do they think groups are private? Do you hide your groups? I'm curious, because I never really could understand why people hide their groups. Also I'm a curious profile reader.

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Privacy and drama containment. Because people don't want to be hassled about the extreme kinks that they enjoy, and because they don't want to open themselves up for drama when their SL lover sees that they're in 4 other land groups.

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And like me, because sometimes you just want to show the most important groups only, that benefit the profile (And also gives a cleaner profile along the way).

You know: People craft their profiles, in the way it benefits them, or their character, why not do it with shown groups? :smileywink:


(not everyone has a dirty mind per se, above poster :D)

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 I hide my groups for privacy, nothing more. I am not ashamed of any groups I am in. I used to have my groups visible but this wonderful person, her friends and army of alts found nothing better to do but stalk me and bf in the groups we were in and see when we were last logged on, etc. to play immature games at their finest. He hides his too.

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To hide all groups with open enrollment can stop some spying. If you and another person is in the same group, you can check if that other person is inworld, and if he's not, when he last was inworld.

I don't think I can sort groups, so if I was in a business, I would hide unimportant groups so the group for my business customers was showing on the top. So they could find it fast through my profile.

And also for feeling important... "My groups are hidden"... I am special....

For privacy too, no need to showe what kinks you have in peoples face. To keep a clean and vanilla profile.

Or all of the abowe and many other reasons.

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Whoa...I have been in SL since summer 2010 and I've never experianced any kind of stalking. At this moment its absolutly crazy for me to see how many experianced that or just carry an extreme fear to be stalked. Hmm...

@Dale: Isn't hiding kink groups for that reason the same as being ashamed of them? If a person likes to rub their face on a teapot, he/she should have the courage to say "yes, I like that". I've a person they meet has a problem with teapot-rubbing and gets mad about it...thats wonderful! Best way to avoid idiots.

Or if someone doesn't like to be friends with people who have nearly all 42 spots filled with sex and kink groups, then its best for both to be upfront from the start.

 

I've someone behaves strange because of a group...fine but nothing I see as a big problem.
But I came to an interesting conclusion so far...

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The last thing i want to do is scare somebody after they seen my groups.  I visit a lot of sims: Grated, M rated, RPing, hangout spots.  Since everybody look at profiles first I'm just doing it for their own safety.  :P

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there have been a few reasons over the years that gave me reasons...

 

lets see..

i think at first it was because of people showing up in clubs i would go to relax in after getting off of work at the club i worked at..

or was that the nude beach they kept showing up at? Oo

i forget..one of those !! 

 

the second was around the time someone said to someone else in either the xstreet forums or the old RA forums..if you didn't have anything to hide you wouldn't hide your groups..

that kind of made me want to hide them just because  i hated that fascist phrase to try to guilt trip people into being ashamed of their sl... so any groups i joined were hidden at the time just b'cause..hehehe

 

then i think later it became sort of about the same thing..but really was part of a security issue with the whole redzone thing..only showing my groups that people could contact for help with sl security issues..

like pink hands and some others..

i kind of sported my GZ group out front most because i wanted the RZ and JLU and other kooks to really know right away i was not hiding those hehehe

 

now i just keep them to myself..because really i just like relaxing in sl nowadays when i do go in..

and since the profiles went web..it's really none of the nets business what my sl groups are..

so i just keep my profile kind of dead all together..

you won't find much of anything serious on there now..because LL took it outside of SL..

that kind of defeated the word escape for me..

 

there was a time my profile was packed full and i used every bit of it..then stuff happens and we do what we do because of experiences ..not because of any one thing really..

sometimes it's just to bug people we never know lol

 

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In RL, I don't carry a document that any passerby can open and read... "Oh, Kelli May: Breaking Bad fan who shops at M&S, Argos and Schuh; fetish for red lipstick and prefers Android to Apple." I don't see why I should do the same in SL. Sometimes there are things I want people to know, sometimes it's Too Much Information. Not all of them are things I'm ashamed of, but some of them would colour how people think of me before they get a chance to get a more balanced picture.

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SL is not RL. You can't compare it for various reasons. One is that there aren't any groups or profiles naturally integrated in the real world, so there isn't even the option to poke a person and see what he/she likes.

Your example would mean, that you leave your profile completely blank, because hey, in RL I can't right-click you....

 

Edit: I sometimes wish we had profiles in RL. It would be easier to express what we like and find likeminded people. Thats a benefit a nice full profile has in SL. Groups can tell a lot about a person and how someone interprets them says a lot about that person too.

From reading your profile I now know we both like the same shoe store! :catvery-happy:

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Syo Emerald wrote:

SL is not RL. You can't compare it for various reasons. One is that there aren't any groups or profiles naturally integrated in the real world, so there isn't even the option to poke a person and see what he/she likes.

Your example would mean, that you leave your profile completely blank, because hey, in RL I can't right-click you....

Well, nothing wrong with someone leaving their profile blank if they don't want people learning anything about them.  My profile is completely blank for that very reason.

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Locke Nider wrote:


Syo Emerald wrote:

SL is not RL. You can't compare it for various reasons. One is that there aren't any groups or profiles naturally integrated in the real world, so there isn't even the option to poke a person and see what he/she likes.

Your example would mean, that you leave your profile completely blank, because hey, in RL I can't right-click you....

Well, nothing wrong with someone leaving their profile blank if they don't want people learning anything about them.  My profile is completely blank for that very reason.

Well, I don't start to talk to people with empty profiles (excluding newbies). I've made the experiance that its better this way.

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Syo Emerald wrote:


Locke Nider wrote:


Syo Emerald wrote:

SL is not RL. You can't compare it for various reasons. One is that there aren't any groups or profiles naturally integrated in the real world, so there isn't even the option to poke a person and see what he/she likes.

Your example would mean, that you leave your profile completely blank, because hey, in RL I can't right-click you....

Well, nothing wrong with someone leaving their profile blank if they don't want people learning anything about them.  My profile is completely blank for that very reason.

Well, I don't start to talk to people with empty profiles (excluding newbies). I've made the experiance that its better this way.

I can understand about not wanting to talk to people with blank profiles, but as long as they have something about them even in their picks, their choice of hiding their groups may be for good reason. I feel you can miss out on meeting some nice people that way. I don't mind if groups are hidden. I understand the privacy reason because it had even affected the rentals we had and that's a point to draw the line. All for some delusional jealousy in someone's mind.

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People with blank profiles never use picks. With blank I mean...really blank. And I rarely run into people with hidden groups who use those options either.

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Most of the ones that I have hidden are Land Groups.  I'm in several where I have permission to mess around but was asked by the land owner not to broadcast it.

I also hide my Martian Groups.  We don't want to incite any fears in the inhabitants here.  Earthlings scare too easy and some like to shoot first and ask questions later.

It is a shame that more don't heed the words of your great philospher Smirnoff.

"The biggest difference between America and many other places is the warning shot."  ;)

 

What a Country!

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say Moo wrote:

And like me, because sometimes you just want to show the most important groups only, that benefit the profile (And also gives a cleaner profile along the way).


I never thought of that and you're absolutely right that hiding groups that don't really have any meaning to others (support groups for products is an example that comes to mind) does provide a cleaner profile.  At present the only group I have hidden is my rental land group but after reading this post, I'm going to hide a few others.

@People who say if you have nothing to hide, why hide anything...I came across this quote recently re: the current NSA issue in the US:

"I don't have anything to hide, but I also don't have anything I feel like showing you."

~Daniel Day Soloff in the Chronicle of Higher Education

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Syo Emerald wrote:

Edit: I sometimes wish we had profiles in RL. It would be easier to express what we like and find likeminded people. Thats a benefit a nice full profile has in SL. Groups can tell a lot about a person and how someone interprets them says a lot about that person too.


What I'd like to see in RL & SL are "Stupid Signs" so we would know who to avoid.  I've heard this comedy routine for years and still laugh when I hear it:

"Here's Your Sign"

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To begin with, my avatars are not 'me'. Each one is a fictional character, with interests and activities that might be quite different from my real-life activities and interests. So the groups that they belong to are groups that fit those characters. It would be wrong though to assume that my own interests exactly match those groups.

In many cases several of my other accounts may also be in those same groups, for access purposes. But those accounts don't normally have an in-character reason to belong to some of those groups.

For my main account, that has been the one I do business with in SL. Many of the groups that account belongs to are the land groups for my clients. I don't need to broadcast who I have Estate Manager rights for. In some cases, I might be working for two groups that normally don't get along (like a Furry group and a Gorean RP group). But I still need those groups to do my work in building sims for clients. Why should I offend a potentuial client by showing groups that they might not care for?

Especially with the accounts that I do business with, the social groups that they also belong to are almost always hidden. When I go to work in real life, I don't wear a sign stating which bars, clubs and social groups I hang out with on my own time. So why should my avatars do that?

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Syo Emerald wrote:

I was wondering today why some people hide their groups. Are they ashamed of their groups? Do they think groups are private? Do you hide your groups? I'm curious, because I never really could understand why people hide their groups. Also I'm a curious profile reader.

Perhaps because when I'm walking about the world I don't care to grab a bullhorn and announce to the world that at times I like to be knee deep in a pile of steamy flesh moaning in ecstasy.  Much like real life, we get to choose who and what we want to reveal pieces of our lives to with other like minded people.  I suppose your question may be because the world we live in is becoming more a place where people expect openness and honesty from the start; everything right up front, saving us the time to get to know someone...what they like, what they don't.  There is still a thing called discretion, and choosing when and how, or even if, someone wants to reveal things about themselves is entirely up to them.  You can hide your groups, perhaps because you just want to go sit in a coffee shop and enjoy another part of yourself, not because you are ashamed of anything, but simply just because some things have their place and time.  Then perhaps, as you are sitting there having a nice afternoon, enjoying the beautiful surroundings, you happen to open up the other's profile and much to your surprise you find another person who enjoys the same things you do, and wow, they like going to coffee shops just the same....how weird is that?

One of the great things about life is that people get to choose their own boundaries.  We need to remember that.

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I do hide a few of my groups...mostly the kinky ones...:matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

Which is odd, because I love looking at other people's profiles and check out their groups to see if there in one that strikes my fancy.

I guess I'm like the others in why I hide..I don't need people knowing all the stuff I do in SL.

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If we could put groups in some kind of order like we can with picks, I wouldn't hide any. But since we can't, I have to hide many to make the relevant ones easier to spot.

 

Product update groups, for example, aren't relevant when someone is trying to contact me. If I could simply put them at the bottom of the list, I would. Since I can't, I hide them.

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I was wondering today why some people hide their ears. Are they ashamed of their ears? Do they think ears are private? Do you hide your ears? I'm curious, because I never really could understand why people hide their ears.

 

 Personal preference right?.

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