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Sephina Frostbite

For those who knew her or care...

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UncommonTruth wrote:

                      :heart: 

          :heart:    
 :heart: 
  :heart:                                  
I hope you can feel the love surrounding you, and know 

   :heart:       
YOU     :heart:                           
that your
 
forum family will be here 

 
:heart:     
 :heart: 
 
     :heart:                             
 
for you if you need us 
:heart:

      
:heart:    
 
:heart:

Awwww!  What Uncommon said!

 

 

Peace!

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Thank you everyone for your kind words. I means a lot to me. Its been hard. I lost my sister and my best friend. StarAlien Thank you for sharing your experience. I dont feel pressure to hurry up and get over it now. Took me a long time to get over my fathers death and some people dont understand the pain they cause when they say, "Youre still sad about it, how long has it been.? Isnt it time to move on?"

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Sephina,

Do not let anyone try to dictate how you grieve. If you need to wail, then wail. If you need to be angry, then be angry. Take as long as your heart needs. People WILL say stupid things like "You should be moving on by now" or similiar things. I lost my dad in '93, my oldest brother in '96, and my mother in '99, and you know what? I am still not over any of it. I grieve for them every day. It has gotten easier, but I can't imagine it EVER going away. Just grieve the way your heart tells you to. 

((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))

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Sephina Frostbite wrote:

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I means a lot to me. Its been hard. I lost my sister and my best friend. StarAlien Thank you for sharing your experience. I dont feel pressure to hurry up and get over it now. Took me a long time to get over my fathers death and some people dont understand the pain they cause when they say, "Youre still sad about it, how long has it been.? Isnt it time to move on?"

 

Unfortunately there will be people that will want to hurry up your grieving proccess. Maybe they have never lost someone close to them before or they don't feel things as deeply. Shrug. In any case, this is YOUR loss, YOUR grief, and no one can tell you how to go about it or how long it should last. This was not only your sister, but your best friend and you feel like a piece of yourself has been torn out. You can't possibly get over that quickly. I don't think people mean to be hurtful or insensitive. They just can't empathize with such a loss. Try to ignore them even though that is so hard  when it stings so much. The truth is, you will never get over her loss. Only time will ease your pain and I have to believe that going through the grieving process, no matter how long it takes is far healthier than burying it inside and being in denial. Not only are you grieving the loss of your sister, but the loss of a big part of your life. Nothing is as it was and how you anticipated your life, with her always there, has changed. It will take a lot of adjustments to learn to live your life without her. I know it did me. To this day I still miss my sister and wished she was here. I started to sort of live my life for her...I mean it pushed me to value my own life more and do things I needed to do. Like get out of an unhealthy relationship, go back to school and actually graduate...stuff like that.

You have a lot of tears to cry before it feels better, so don't let anyone try to stop your grieving. It will take as long as it takes!  (((HUGS)))

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Staralien wrote:


Sephina Frostbite wrote:

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I means a lot to me. Its been hard. I lost my sister and my best friend. StarAlien Thank you for sharing your experience. I dont feel pressure to hurry up and get over it now. Took me a long time to get over my fathers death and some people dont understand the pain they cause when they say, "Youre still sad about it, how long has it been.? Isnt it time to move on?"

 

Unfortunately there will be people that will want to hurry up your grieving proccess. Maybe they have never lost someone close to them before or they don't feel things as deeply. Shrug. In any case, this is YOUR loss, YOUR grief, and no one can tell you how to go about it or how long it should last. This was not only your sister, but your best friend and you feel like a piece of yourself has been torn out. You can't possibly get over that quickly. I don't think people mean to be hurtful or insensitive. They just can't empathize with such a loss. Try to ignore them even though that is so hard  when it stings so much. The truth is, you will never get over her loss. Only time will ease your pain and I have to believe that going through the grieving process, no matter how long it takes is far healthier than burying it inside and being in denial. Not only are you grieving the loss of your sister, but the loss of a big part of your life. Nothing is as it was and how you anticipated your life, with her always there, has changed. It will take a lot of adjustments to learn to live your life without her. I know it did me. To this day I still miss my sister and wished she was here. I started to sort of live my life for her...I mean it pushed me to value my own life more and do things I needed to do. Like get out of an unhealthy relationship, go back to school and actually graduate...stuff like that.

You have a lot of tears to cry before it feels better, so don't let anyone try to stop your grieving. It will take as long as it takes!  (((HUGS)))

Beautifuly put, thank you *hugs*

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My hearthfelt condolences Sephina; I am very sorry for your loss.

Words do fail me, so I am just sending you lots of love and a hug from the distance

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Since you haven't given any details, I don't know if your loss was expected or completely out of the blue.  In the last year, I've lost three good friends unexpectedly and one family member who I knew was going to leave this earth very shortly.

There's a big difference between being able to make peace with someone before they pass (in other words, having a last chance to tell them how you feel about them... like I did with my grandma), and losing them so suddenly that you never get the chance to tell them how you feel (like it was with my other friends).

I'm not saying that it's any easier to lose someone once you've made your peace with them... the loss of my grandmother hurt me more than anything I could ever imagine.  But, there was some closure there and that meant a lot to me.

You may not able to feel true closure with someone who passed away without you knowing that they would beforehand.  But, it's still possible to get your feelings off your chest, for your own good.

This may sound crazy, but I've been known to take a chair and set it across from me, then just talk to it as if it was my desisted friend.  I would tell the chair everything that I ever wanted to tell them, but never had the chance to before they passed.  Please understand that there's nothing wrong with doing this in the privacy of your own home... just don't do it on stage at a Republican Convention, when the person is still alive, and you'll be alright.

The only other things I could say to you would be empty platitudes and I'm sure you've had enough of those.  I'm quite sure that what I've had to say here (if it makes any sort of sense at all), won't make you feel any better... but maybe it will comfort you, a little bit, to know that you are not alone.

...Dres *hugs you very tightly*

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Riotstar wrote:

 

 

Very sorry for your loss
:(

Thank you, means a lot. As for you Dres It was unexpected. Ive my share of yelling at "her".. Im sure my neighbors think I am crazy for yelling at the necklace she gave me just before she passed away. I just want to go into her account just to look at her things she bought and had. Is that weird? I just feel maybe looking at her avi and her things, I might feel like she is here with me.

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