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mustangstud

How many of you have a "real" SL relationship?

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Tari Landar wrote:

It's far more interesting for people to read the ones that don't make it. So you won't read nearly as many.


Yep. One of the side effects of media's ability to rapidly and precisely measure audience reaction to "news" is that what we wish to hear increasingly competes with what's happening.

Delusion on a grand scale, by request!

 

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Sephina Frostbite wrote:

They can work although I would say its not the norm.
I was engaged to be married to someone on sl and on our wedding day he died.
I had to attend his funeral instead. I will be forever shattered so I am not sure if I will ever find sl love but I am not looking for it. However I know it can happen.

The funeral in RL?  Sorry, but I have heard this 'cold feet' tale before.

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The story about the husband dying on the wedding day... Sorry to be so jaded, but I've heard this tale before. Did he truly die in RL? Or did someone log in as him (or another avatar) to break the devastating news to you online?

If he truly died in RL and you went to the funeral and everything, ouch, that is a terrible tragedy.

If someone told you online that he died and that's all you have to go on... sometimes people lie about that to get away from commitments. Which is a childish and hurtful way to do it, but it's happened in the past, to other people.

I've had SL friends "leave the game forever" and abandon their old avatars, many times - only to find out they never left, they created new avatars and are still in game, up to their same old tricks. It's hurtful to think that people would abandon their friends like that, but it happens, and SL makes it easy. I just try not to take it personally when it happens. People have their own reasons for doing stuff, I think it's a fear of being accountable for something no matter how silly like a host job or whatever - and it's usually not because of anything you did (one of my catch phrases that I use all the time in RL as well as SL is, "It's NOT all about you").

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Depends on what you see as "real" ;-)

 

But I'll chime in here and say that the relationship my (RL) husband and I are in started on Second Life. When we felt it was appropriate, we moved from SL to Skype video chats, and when we felt it was appropriate after that we met in person. At that point, we knew that things between us would work well for an SL to RL transition, and when we were ready we made that transition. It was a little difficult dealing with disapproving family members in the process but after two years things are okay now. :-)

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One thing you said was key, and others (as you point out) have mentioned it: you weren't 'looking'. It just happened because things like that
do
happen. Obviously that's true with almost all of us in terms of the friends we have here, the ones we spend the most time talking to. We like them, That's how we became friends. It isn't exactly a huge leap to see friendship go beyond that level, if circumstances can allow it.


This. This and and a thousand times this.

 

My boy and I were amazingly well clicked friends before we began our relationship. We weren't looking for it... at least not with each other. I was attempting to start seeing people in the real world and had several play dates lined up for myself. He had stopped looking completely. But the moment I realized he meant something more to me than a friend, I immediately cut of fall communication with these people I planned to see in the real world, and devoted myself to furthering my friendship with him, not because I thought at the time I'd actually have a relationship with him, but because at the time, he was the most consuming and intoxicating individual I'd ever conversed with. I could stay up with him until six A.M. doing absolutely nothing, because he was just that enjoyable of a person.

 

Funny, because we had a bit of a slow to our friendship! We were RPing together in the same area. One day I noticed that he was an exceptionally well written person, and while the interactions my character was having with another refused to allow for her to pay him much attention, I IM'd him my sincerest compliments to his writing style. He was a delightfully friendly person, and even more engaging to speak with in private messages... but I wasn't actively involved with the game at the time (Should note, this was not on SL). I would only pop on for a short time once every two weeks, and usually at the time I'd pop in, he'd be engaged with a different scene. We talked more than we RP'd, until I made time to RP for him.

 

Then one day I wanted to play a game called League of Legends with him. I forced him to get on skype so I could have a better time explaining to him what the game mechancis were. He ended up hating LoL, but from the second or third conversation we had on skype... and I've confirmed with him on this, we both began falling for each other, madly and deeply.

 

A year later, we've already met several times. We're going to be seeing each other in two weeks, actually, and I'm pretty excited. We already have plans to move in with each other by the end of the year.

 

It's not easy. It takes a lot of work. it takes a lot of dedication. It takes a lot of working on our individual faults. We both have some issues that get in the way for us from time to time. But since our goal is to live and grow old together, we happily do what we can to make each other comfortable with the situation. We both learn new things about each other, and we both share a happy FRIENDSHIP along with a healthy sexual appetite for each other.

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Your story is heartwarming, only I am confused as to why your profile doesnt seem to exist in SL

 

all I get on your page is

 

jaedendelanaire

This name is unavailable.

 

*shrugs

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My RL boyfriend and I met in SL met in SL about 2 and 1/2 years ago. We became an RL couple....2 and 1/2 years ago lol. We moved in together in RL about 2 months after meeting in SL. We just clicked, became best friends and have a lot in common. I think for any relationship to work, you both have to be on the same page. My boyfriend doesn't play SL much anymore, but I still do. Even though we don't do much in-world together, he's still my SL partner, and the only one I will ever have. That won't change even if he decides to never log on. If I dated someone else in SL, I would consider it cheating, and so would he. I know relationships are complicated, and I know some RL couples do have separate partners in SL. I'm not going to pretend to understand that, but I am genuinely curious how people are able to reconcile that.

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I met my partner 3,5 years ago in SL. It was never just an online-thing, not one single day. Last month i moved to him RL and i am thankful for each day we are together. Generally i would not recommend everyone to meet RL too just because it worked out well with us. Sometimes it works out well and sometimes not ... Everyone is different ...

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