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lizbeth2u

Looking for something I don't have yet in SL, excitement!!

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Alicia

 

     Let me apologize, as I am not one to say things unkind to anyone. I re-read your comments, and realize you are just saying what you see in my posts.

 

     I am not one to pass judgments on anyone, nor say harsh things. ( well unless someone really abuses me )

 

So, with a smile to let you know I hold no hard feelings. And, hope you do not judge me harshly will say have a wonderful night.

 

I have been invited to a new book club so that is something I look forward to in SL

 

My kind of thing, where I can dress modestly and feel good about myself.

 

Yes, I do have issues with self esteem.( in SL,  not in RL)

 

Quite an adjustment for me, but I will survive.

 

 

Thank you for your honesty,

 

lizbeth

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No worries and no need to apologize :)

Good luck with the book club and hope you enjoy it for a very long time
Just don`t let anyone or anything change you beyond who you are, it`s better to be your self then please others at your own expense

You are who you are ;)

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I don't think you're doing anything particularly 'wrong', Liz.  You just need to relax and take a more detached stance.  It does take time to find people you gel with, in both lives.  I have a few friends here but it didn't happen immediately, and i've been around nearly 4 years!  I've met a lot of people, made a couple of hundred acquaintances to say 'hi' to, but as regards tried & trusted friends i probably have about 6 -- and i'm happy with that.  :matte-motes-grin:  

The more people you meet & chat with, the more likely you'll find someone you hit it off with.  It's a numbers thing.

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Well hello squashy,

 

    Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. Like your way of  looking at things.

I'm staying out more than in for awhile, but am in with a new book club that starts this

Sunday. With hopes of that being something I will really enjoy. ( love reading in RL)

 

 I have made a couple of new lady friends, one gave me the name of a new store to buy

Mesh clothing. Oh for the love of shopping in both worlds, right ladies!

 

Enjoy the night, :matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

 

Lizbeth

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Hello Lizabeth. I'm looking for some friends as well. My partner is away a lot due to RL and I would dearly love another female friend, to just hang out with, chat and of course SHOP! lol. I LOVE to shop, so if you are interested in another friend, PLEASE feel free to IM me inworld. I most likely will be on most of the day tomorrow, so I will look forward to getting to know you and hopefully the start of a beautiful friendship! *smiles*

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I am a great believer in being yourself in SL, unless of course you want to try role-playing.  But assuming you don't, at least for now, here are my thoughts about SL after being here almost 7 years.

You will meet lots of people that end up on your friends list, but only a handful will end up being close friends.  Don't accept friendship offers from anyone until you have gotten to know them a little bit first.  It is kinder to tell people that to start than to accept a friendship only to drop them when you find out you have nothing in common or they just aren't you kind of people.  You might meet people that want to friend you right off but you never hear from again, until you drop them off your list.  Then they IM you and act hurt and offended.  Contrary to what some think, there is no contest to see who can collect the most names on a friends list.

Be true to yourself.  Don't dress or act a certain way because you think it will win you more friends or a partner.  The fact is that there are many many different people in SL and you sooner or later will find some that you mesh well with , but it doesn't happen over night.  So keep your heart and mind open, be yourself and have fun. My closest relationships with others have all come about when I wasn't looking or expecting anything. 

Try a lot of things until you find things that really inspire and interest you.  Don't be afraid to show your interests in your profile because that makes you interesting to other people and can serve as ice breakers when meeting new people..

Don't be afraid to stretch your envelope - just not to the point it makes you completely uncomfortable. There are a lot of people who come to SL and 'find themselves' because there are no expectations or responsibilities here other than the ones you choose.  For example, I've met a lot of people that say they are shy in RL and have learned in SL to loosen up and overcome their shyness in RL.

There is nothing wrong with making your dreams and fantasies a part of SL.  Don't worry about what other people think, because at the end of the day, when you log off, those people's pixels and opinions poof away unless YOU choose to make them a part of your RL,

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Good morning Heart Brimmer

       Thank you for the offer of friendship, I love to shop! In fact lately when alone ( as I am usually) I find myself trying on hair, new skins/shapes, just to see if I would enjoy a new look

       I'll try to log in today, a busy one for me but would be nice to meet you.

 

Thank you for the friendship offer

 

Lizbeth

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Good morning Amethyst

     Thank you for your words of wisdom, I have accepted too  many friend request from men

That after the first day just never say "hi" again. Even when I send an IM. So, I do after a period

Of time drop them from my list of friends.

 

    Concerning being my own "self" , you are correct. I have tried to be someone I am not, and that doesn't work for me. I do want to update my clothes, get more mesh clothing and hair

And perhaps a better shape. While I like my look, it is not equal to yours nor some of the other

Ladies that have sent me messages.  Seems I need  a more sensual look. ( compared to you and some of the other ladies, my look is not as good)

 

My look is rather thin compared to yours and another lady friend of mine. While alone last night I did try on some new shapes, but none had pretty faces. That is very important to me

 

Well RL is calling me again. But thanks for your advice.

 

To everyone have a great day in world or in RL

 

Lizbeth

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lizbeth2u wrote:

Good morning Heart Brimmer

       Thank you for the offer of friendship, I love to shop! In fact lately when alone ( as I am usually) I find myself trying on hair, new skins/shapes, just to see if I would enjoy a new look

       I'll try to log in today, a busy one for me but would be nice to meet you.

 

Thank you for the friendship offer

 

Lizbeth

You're very welcome, Lizbeth! :-) I look forward to hearing from you whenever you have the time to log on. 

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lizbeth2u wrote: [...] nor some of the other ladies that have sent me messages; seems I need a more sensual look [...]

I once was in a beach sim and saw a huge piece of a guy, one of those who maxes their every shape parameter to look super-buff... except he didn't know that the chest slider works counter-intuitive... the higher value you set, the less chest volume you have. Needless to say, he looked like the Hulk (sans the green) with a huge chunk of flesh carved out of his chest. So I told him that, and that if he wanted a big chest, he needed to lower that parameter, or even set it to zero. He did so, checked the results, and was happy as a clam.

 

Then again, though I myself have never offered unasked-for aesthetic advice, I've often been given it: 'you would look better if you did this, or wore that, or changed so and so...'. And that's fine, sometimes I've considered those advices, if and when they involved something *I* didn't know or was aware of myself. But if I set my avatar height to 95, or always wear red clothes, I honestly couldn't care less if someone tells me I should set my height to 60 and wear green sometimes... I know what each of my basic clothing decisions mean and how they look, and if I choose those instead of others, it's because that's the way *I* like it. And those that don't like it, are free to set their viewer's cameras elsewhere. I'm not an SL model, they don't pay me to please others.

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Hello Ren,   

    I totally understand what you are saying. When I started SL, I wanted to project a true

Lady one that while pretty, did not have that tramp look so many here have. Perhaps I went

Too far and created a lady that gets so little attention she is lonely too often.

   I do have one dear friend that has told me several time he finds me "hot". And that I should not try to please anyone but myself.

Sadly this dear friend will be gone most of the summer and does not take SL seriously. It is a game to him ( well it suppose it is a game to be sure) For myself I find I can become real

Friends with people and SL could be much more than a game .. I am doing my best to be open and honest with those I meet here. To be that lady that will both show respect to others, and in turn be respected.

 

 

I am in a dilemma somewhat as to what I should look like, as some of the nicest ladies in SL

Do have a very sensual look, and not one  that shouts "I'm a tramp" but rather turns heads

When they walk in a room.

 

I know my clothing lacks a certain look and my body is rather slim in areas that men prefer

More rounded. In the past I did pay someone to tweet my avi, but still do not have that

Look to grab attention in a room full of lovely ladies. In otherwise, I don't stand out.

 

Some could be due to my lack of body proportions, and some due to my clothing.

 

I am looking in the marketplace for new mesh clothes and hair. Perhaps a demo shape or two.

 

Just want to meet new friends and enjoy my time in sl not just spend that time shopping alone. Or exploring the many Sims alone.

 

I do understand what you are saying and I do appreciate your help

 

Have a great night

 

Lizbeth

     

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I understand what you mean, Lizbeth... and yes, being still relatively new to SL, part of the problem might be that you're not yet fully aware of all the options, stores, etc. available in this virtual world. I just wanted to make sure they're your options, is all :smileywink:

 

 


lizbeth2u wrote: ... and my body is rather slim in areas that men prefer more rounded.


1.- Too bad for them.

2.- Not all men do.

3.- You might actually find more likeable men among those who don't... or, even better, don't care :smileywink:

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Ren

    With a smile :matte-motes-bashful-cute-2: I have to admit something, just tried on some demos of

Some very curvy avis........... Not me!  So, I'll keep the way I look, she is to me rather pretty and not  built that badly if I may say so.

 

You are also correct in the type of men I seek are not after a body, but rather someone with a good sense of humor, a caring soul, and someone fun to be with. All these things I do possess.

 

BTW, thanks for making me smile :matte-motes-little-laugh: A quality I do possess...........

 

 

Have a great night, taking time off to enjoy some time at home with friends

 

lizbeth

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Once, I told someone that I don't find SL as exciting as it used to be. He then told me I needed to get laid in RL . Being 'proper and virgin-like' is not a big deal. He thinks that being 'improper' in RL will make we want SL even more.

So I did just that... and it was awesome!

Still didn't change my perception about SL, in general.... which is sad.. but at least the RL sex was good so it turned out to be a win-win situation for me. 

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Hi Lizbeth :)

May I suggest "Tiny Empires" which is an aspiration to nobility type role playing game. It allows genteel interaction between mainly more mature types it seems and a good few Ball attendances and the like. You do have to find and acquire new subjects to have "under" you in your quest for nobility which can be trying. Still good fun tho mostly.

Being a vampire can be very cool and great fun. I reached the level of Baroness in the clan I was in but I only ever bit two people lol. Once again you need subjects beneath you in your rise to Vampiric fame. I played as a vamp in order to wear sexier clothes and to tart it up a bit lol. It worked for a time but most of these games are pyramid type schemes where there are costs associated which all end up with the creator & good luck to them. Be warned however you will lose your virtual soul. Which you don't actually have one of but I found to be rather offensive:smileysurprised: We do get over these things of course.

For me I am happy to wander around fascinated by the world and make clothing items. Through minding my own business and keeping to myself, (unless severly provoked by griefers*winx), I have acquired many good friends and a virtual family over my four years or so of SL.

Look into making items, clothes or even books perhaps? You write superbly it seems. Making things is an adventure all on its own.

Kind regards, Ave

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Czari Zenovka wrote:

I won't change my look, what I enjoy doing, or where I go in SL for anyone. 

  But me - not changing my preference for anyone in any world.
;)

Woohoo! Ditto :matte-motes-sunglasses-1:

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I looked at your profile pic and the pictures in your web feed, and your avatar looks just fine to me.   From the looks of it, she also owns some sumptuous gowns!  

I think if someone had the nerve to criticise my look, i'd criticise them right back and not mince words about it.   But i guess you're more polite and restrained than me.  That's no bad thing, either.  :matte-motes-bashful-cute:

 

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Hi lizbeth :)

I don't think you cared for my last posts, but I'll try again.  Someone suggested, perhaps in your other thread, to add more information about yourself, what you enjoy, places you enjoy going in SL, etc. to your profile picks.  I looked at your profile earlier this week and saw just one pick. (If you have since added more, I apologize.)

In SL, I have found that interesting profiles gain a lot of attention.  As I stated in an earlier post, the majority of the time I was IM'd by men (my former profile of a couple years ago; I'm in a different place now) the first thing they said was, "I like your profile."  One man said, "You're a woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to say it."  That was in reference to my having things like, "I mute l33t speech" etc. on my profile. 

Another anecdote that surprised me:  I was at Frank's which plays jazz from the 1940's era.  I enjoy dressing in theme wherever I go in SL.  I was wearing a 1940's dress that some might think not "sexy" enough but I LOVE this outfit.  I took this photo later to show a friend and mention this episode:

1940

Something I do when I go to dance clubs solo is to stand by the edge of the dance floor, not sit hidden away somewhere on a chair like a wallflower.  This is the exact outfit I was wearing, complete with the skin - which was created to be a vintage 1940's skin.  I had IMs saying, "Cute avatar - you look like you just stepped out of a 1940's fashion magazine," "Great shoes," "Where did you get that hair? (from a woman)," etc.  Then I got a strange IM from a man:

Man: Excuse me please, this question may be a little odd, but I wondered...

Me: (Waiting for the odd question)

Man: are you a Dominatrix?

Me: (Thinking - How in the WORLD did he get "Dominatrix" from this outfit?)

Me: No... but curious what may have given you that impression

Man: ah just the deportment and certain style.

Man: Pardon me for troubling you

Me: No trouble at all....first time I've been asked that *smiles*

Ok, so...the LAST look I'm trying to achieve is "Dominatrix" and I personally see absolutely nothing about this particular outfit/skin/hair that conveys that....BUT...look at the bolded part of his IM.  Now I was just standing, with my avatar going through her AO poses (which are the older "static" ones), but somehow this man saw "deportment."

Main point - No matter how your avatar looks, it is my experience and opinion that one's self still comes through. (Errr, not that I wanted to convey "Dominatrix" but it could have been the AO stances or a "look" of confidence, who knows.)

I truly am writing all this to help you.  I'll say this once more then exit this thread: If *you* are happy with *you* (in this case meaning your avatar look), others will sense that in you and be attracted.  Certainly my photo above could not be considered "sexy" in the SL sense of the word, but I began getting IMs the minute I walked in. 

I do wish you happiness in SL. :)

(Edit - Typo)

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Well hello Czari,

  what an interesting and nice note. Btw, let me add I love that look! Where did you find such?

 

   I find your opinions very concise and helpful. And, I do thank you. The strangest thing about my time in SL is that in the very beginning with my first ( purchased) avi, I went to ballrooms and was  always asked to dance. :smileysurprised:

 

That is why I wonder now that I have a much nicer avi I can go and no one asks me to dance.

 

 So, I have stopped going. I did think of digging into my inventory in search of that first formal that seemed to get men's attention.

 

Concerning my profile, I have added many things in the area of interest. Are you speaking of the "picks" ?

 

Somehow I can't seem to add anything new there. Help appreciated please. How does one add picks ?

 

Not sure how The Botanical Gardens was added. I do stay there and use as my home. ( since I do not have one )

 

So, please advise me on how to add to my "picks" and I'll be more than happy to fill that in.

 

Today, I spent some time trying on new shapes and skins. But decided I preferred my own shape ( at this time anyway, with more shapes to try on yet)

 

I do love your 40's look, quite nice. Since I love the big band era music. If you don't mind sharing the store you purchased such a nice avi I'd love to try one on.

 

 

Thank you and have a wonderful night:smileyhappy:

 

Lizbeth

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lizbeth2u wrote:

...
The strangest thing about my time in SL is that in the very beginning with my first ( purchased) avi, I went to ballrooms and was  always asked to dance. :smileysurprised:

That is why I wonder now that I have a much nicer avi I can go and no one asks me to dance.

 

Its not you.  That is pretty common.  I think a lot of men go after the noob girls because they think they might get further with them,   After you have been around longer they figure you probably have wised up to their lines. lol

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Hi again, lizbeth :)

Thank you for your compliment on my outfit.  I'll begin with that...

* The outfit - It was a merchant gift during a hunt.  I believe it is from The Curious Seamstress but I will double check next time I'm in world.  It came with the shoes, a leopard print jacket that matches the shoes, a hat, stockings, and even vintage undies.

*The hair is from a shop that no longer has an in world presence but is still on the Marketplace - Curl up and Dye

*The skin was a freebie I picked up at least four years ago at I think (mind foggy tonight) a vintage store called 1-800-Bettie's.

(Note on skin - it is an older skin so not as realistic looking as newer skins, but I do enjoy wearing it with that particular outfit.)

*The shape is modified from a freebie I got when I first began SL

I agree with Amethyst on being asked to dance when you first came to SL.  I find the reverse true as well; many of the men who IM me to dance are brand new.  Over time it evens out. 

Re: your profile - yes I was talking about the "Picks" section.  Alicia gave the mechanics of how to put a pick in your profile.  Wherever you are (like a dance venue, shop, etc.) if you do what Alicia said (I am using an older viewer so how I add picks is different) the default photo and name of wherever you are will be added.  However, picks can also be used to relay things about yourself.  If you take a peek at my profile picks there is one called Literature Geek.  I first went to a Linden ocean sim to add the pick because I don't want my home location displayed.  Then I went back home and added an image from my hard drive and wrote whatever I said in the comment area.  I realize just reading this sounds overwhelming;  If you would like me to help in world I would be happy to.  Just send an IM my way. :)

Hang in there...things will get better...I promise. *Smiles*

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Good morning Czari

       How nice of you to offer help, thank you! I will try to go in world tonight, and if you are in

Will send an IM. I did try late last night to add to my "picks" and couldn't find a way to accomplish this.

 

   As I sit here thinking back, :smileyhappy: smiling to myself, you are right, the men that asked

Me to dance as a noobie, were after more than just a dance. I let them know right off "hands off" and once even poofed away.

I did make one nice friend ( taken but very helpful in the beginning). He helped me learn

So many things and I am grateful for his help. Seems I have met a couple of really nice men

But they were both taken. Just tried to help out a noobie.

 

Hope to find you in world as I do want to show what I enjoy in SL. So that others will know I

Can be a fun loving person.( with a serious side as well)

 

Again, I loved that vintage look. Last night I tried on so many skins, shapes, hairs etc

But, found I prefer ( so far in my search) my own shape, did find some lovely skins that I

Preferred.

 

Since my RL has its demands on my finances I hate to keep spending money in SL

 

Until I know I fit in.

BTW, what is your opinion on becoming a premium member?  If I had my own home

I could get a Virtual dog. Something I have wanted since I joined SL

 

I thank you again for all your help, wishing for you a day full of happiness

 

lizbeth

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Hi Amethyst

      with a smile I understand, as others have said men think they can get more than a dance

From someone new. ( were they ever wrong) :smileywink:

 

Have a wonderful day,

Lizbeth

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Hi there Alicia

 

      I tried last night to add more picks, but was not able to ....... My lack of knowledge

Especially techie type I suppose.

 

 Thanks for trying to help, I do appreciate everyone's help.

 

Oh RL is calling me away, just wanted to say thanks!

 

Lizbeth

 

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