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lizbeth2u

Looking for something I don't have yet in SL, excitement!!

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Hello everyone,

 

  First off, since I have given up on romance in SL ( for myself) now I am seeking some

Type of excitement, perhaps being a vampire, or a role play group.

 

 Have left behind my conservative self, moving on towards having some fun. So, I've

 

Been changing my outfits to allow myself to become more like most of the ladies here

 

Off with the old and on with the new me!

 

Maybe becoming a vampire would give me the much needed excitement I crave

 

( umm nice words for a vampire to be ? )

 

 

Anyway, I'm ready at last to have fun and let out all my fantasies

 

 

I stopped seeking a relationship in SL, just want to have some excitement

 

Boring will not work for this lady , any help appreciated

 

Lizbeth:smileyhappy:

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Syo

 

   After being either ignored, hurt, told I needed to change my way of dress etc

I've concluded two things : 1 either just get out of SL  2. Totally change what I am looking for

 

Since I have spent too many lindens to just give it up ( at this point in time) I came to the conclusion I have to make some needed changes.

 

One being to stop looking for anyone, just to have some fun.  And, to change the way

I dress, where I go , and what I want to get out of this virtual world.

 

Was going to just stop playing, then thought what the heck, give it one more try

 

I have met a couple of nice people, that when they are in SL I enjoy being around them

 

Not romantic at all, But, a good friend is worth so much in both lives.

 

 

So, today I'm looking for new clothes, not expensive to be sure and some excitement

 

How many times does a lady need to be told she is invisible to get the message?

 

Well this one has had enough of that and is moving on

 

 

Does that make any sense?

 

Have a great day, real life is calling

Lizbeth

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I won't change my look, what I enjoy doing, or where I go in SL for anyone.  I wear VERY conservative clothes, especially compared with the "norm" for women in SL but 1) I LIKE the clothes I wear - most always dresses, sometimes contemporary, but often Victorian or Medieval, and 2) NO WAY do I want to look like "most ladies" on SL.  Looking like a trampy streetwalker isn't my style.

Of course the places I choose to spend time in SL are consistent with my preferred clothing choices ie. Victorian sims like Caledon, Medieval sims, ballroom/jazz dance venues, etc.  As for meeting men, I haven't had any problem with that so I don't feel at all "invisible" - it's just the quality of the men but one will find kissing a lot of frogs happens in RL as well.

Whatever one chooses to do with their SL is certainly their own business.  I just responded because your post sounds like you are trying to change to "fit in" with one aspect of SL.  If it works for you, cool.  But me - not changing my preference for anyone in any world. ;)

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Well, lizbeth2u, you certainly sound enthusiastic.

I'd suggest taking a look at the latest "trending" on the Second Life feeds. http://my.secondlife.com . At the moment there is a lot of excitement about the Fantasy Faire, and people are running (flying/sailing/teleporting) around taking photographs of it all.  I've actually felt so excited about it, that I have been jealous of everyone there today, because I've not been able to log into world at all because of RL commitments.

I hate to admit this, because I was not at all a fan of the Second Life feeds when they were first introduced, but you can pick up so many great locations from the photo uploads, and every day is potentially a new adventure.

Worth noting is that it really doesn't matter what shape or form you are, as long as you are true to your own personality, you can have a ball.

And you should have a go at the Giant Snail Racing over at Devon Dreams sim. Its totally insane, brilliant fun, and on race days you just get swept along by the crazy atmosphere.

A couple of ideas there for you .

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Lizbeth, sweety... you don't have to change who you are or the type of person that you wish to be to make anyone else happy.  I would consider the fact that you don't dress like the majority of people here an asset and tell you to do your own thing and keep on being you.  Changing the places you go might help though... that would certainly be better than changing the way you dress to please the people at the places you go now.  I guaranty you, there are other places where the way you choose to dress will fit.  Change your hangouts and not yourself.

As far as the relationship thing, not only is it true that it's better for you to just try to have fun instead of looking desperately for someone to be with in SL, it's true in RL as well.  Take it easy... do what makes you happy and everything will eventually fall into place for you.

Good luck ...Dres

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Oh Czari

     I fear I've given the wrong perception of who I am and what I want. You see from the start

Of my sl time I was true to my RL self, a very proper lady. In fact too proper,so that is the reason I decided to give sl a try. To allow myself to let my fantasies out. Well, that seemed to not happen, I remained the conservative lady and was mostly ignored. I thought my outfits were

Pretty, not at all sexual. But, I've had several gentlemen tell me I dressed as they said "vanilla"

I didn't stand out. I did go to nice clubs, but just stood there unnoticed.  I have been told my avi is very pretty, so not sure what the problem is unless my gowns were too tame.

 

If I can't find some fun/for lack of a better word, I will give it  all up. Having spent many lindens inworld I just wanted to try another approach.

 

I am not one to do sex Sims, no way. Just looking to get out of my rut, as you see I stay

To myself roaming the man lovely Sims ( alone is not fun)

 

So, I will not change who I am, but need to do something to enjoy sl. I do not seek men

Not anymore. Just good friends to explore with and chat with. So many things to do but when alone, they cease to be enjoyable.

 

 

I am so glad you have a wonderful experience in sl. Being yourself. What you describe would have been my ultimate delight. It just has not happened for me.

 

So, I have to move on and do things in a different way, not talking about being a tramp

But as someone that might be seen. Instead of being invisible

 

Hope this makes sense. Would you want to spend your time alone?  It really is not enjoyable. Believe me.

 

 

I am still the same caring woman I have been from the start. Just wanting to enjoy sl

Instead of being ignored and invisible

 

 

Thank you for your remarks, I value all

 

Lizbeth

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Dresden

 What a nice man you are,, thank you. Since I posted this I have tried to change my outfits

And did not like the people that wanted to "friend" me. Not my type at all. Rather funny when I think of all this.

 

And, on the relationship thing, you are so right. Just want to find some friends to hang out with

So I won't be alone.  Believe me after a few bad judgments in both RL and sl, I am not looking for a close relationship in either world.

 

Being hurt in whatever world is not something that brings joy. Rather pain

 

So, off that subject. And onto life. It is getting late in RL and my doggy needs me

 

Thank you

 

lizbeth

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Thank you Marigold

 

  You are a true lady, and I do appreciate you kind words and help.  Will be checking out the site you gave, wish me luck

 

And I wish you more free time inworld.  RL is calling me now so I have to go and play with my doggy. The news has been to sad to watch here in America. Another reason

I came to sl to get away from the RL issues.

 

So darn TV stays off ... :matte-motes-smile:

 

To all a great night

 

Lizbeth

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lizbeth2u wrote:

Dresden

 What a nice man you are

Shhh... you're not supposed to say that out loud.  I'm friends with Pep... I have a reputation to uphold.

...Dres

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Personally I think Fashionatic is sexy with out being whorish. And they are full outfits, ie shoes purse outift and accessories for under 300. Regardless though have fun but never lose site of who you are.

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Good morning Sephina,

 

      Thank you for this site, will check them out. Always looking for a shop that sells

Sexy yet not whorish outfits.

 

 

    Again, I do appreciate everyone's help. Have a wonderful week.

 

Lizbeth

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Hello, Lizbeth.

I’ve been following your various threads, and I gotta say you seem like the nicest lady... but I can’t help seeing something slightly puzzling about you... and that’s your seeming willingness to bend to almost any advice, suggestion, expectation or anything thrown your way. You know, it’s perfectly OK to heed advice (especially if you asked for it to begin with, lol), at least in a ‘oh, good idea! How didn’t I think of *that* before?’ fashion... but maybe not so much in a ‘Commenter A: you should dress more sluttily / You: Oh!, thanks, I’ll try to dress more casually / Commenter B: you should dress more conservatively / You: Oh, thanks, I shall strive to dress more formally’ way. There’s been quite a bit of that in all your posts... perhaps unconsciously and partially driven by politeness and gratefulness to all the suggestions; but it’s there, rather markedly in fact, and from many of your comments it does seem as if you’re extremely keen on pleasing others’ tastes... a bit too keen, if you know what I mean.

Believe me, I understand how tempting it is to try and please others, especially if -as you’ve already mentioned- doing otherwise and just being yourself in every aspect hasn’t been met with a lot of (perceived) social acceptance. And in SL it’s even easier to become ‘everyone’s wow-person’... you change from top to bottom to utter sexiness, you fill your profile with Marilyn Monroe and Anaïs Nin quotes, and voilà, you’re the next big hottie in everyone’s mind.

Problem is, you’re not that... you really aren’t, and pretending to be so is going to become tiresome and frustrating to you right about the time some people (the key ones, actually) will start seeing through that mask anyway; and then these key ones will decide that they cannot trust you to be what you *seem* to be behind that mask, either. So you’ll find yourself stuck to the ones that fell in love (or, more likely, lust) for that mask, and will never, ever find the kind of friends or special ones able to like you just for what you really are... and those, no matter how few of them, would be the ones that in the long run would make your SL experience more enjoyable and fulfilling, because you could relax and speak your mind with them without having to constantly double-check yourself with ‘is this what I should say/do/look right now?’.

Be yourself. If you go somewhere and no one notices you because of your attire and your manners, just go somewhere else... chances are you wouldn't find many people in there with whom you could relate, anyway. If one day you feel sexier and more adventurous, be it because *you* feel like it, not because ‘you might be more noticeable like that’. Again, it might take more time to find like-minded people (in part because, ironically enough, you’re hardly the only one doing that, so in the end there’s a whole lot of ‘imagined personality #1 digs imagined personality #2’... and no, I’m, not even talking about those who statedly play their SL selves as ‘different to their RL ones’)... but sooner or later, most people do find their niche here without having to sacrifice their own personalities and tastes to become the umpteenth ‘SL standard personality’ clone.

Apologies if some of this came through as slightly harsh... that wasn’t my intention. I actually think I’d like you myself just the way you *really* are, quite more than what you seem to be trying to be.

 


Oh, and by the way:


lizbeth2u wrote:
How many times does a lady need to be told she is invisible to get the message?

Have you thought that maybe the message is ‘sorry, we’re blind to everything except the shallowest things?’.

There’s a lot of blindness in SL, Lizbeth, I’ll grant you that. But not everyone is blind... just sayin’ ;)

 

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Again, Lizbeth, (and good morning :matte-motes-big-grin: )

Take a look at what's trending on http://my.secondlife.com Some great links are there to places to visit that may or may not be well-populated with potential new friends and contacts, and also some ideas about where to go for some good statement pieces for your wardrobe. Definitely classy and fun rather than trampy on Venus and Cait's feeds.

In our UK news we have a comedienne who has 'secretly' married her new love, so I am feeling warm and fuzzy about the world.  Hard, I know, it is to cope with today's world and local news when things seem to be going to the dogs, but take heart, Lizbeth, there is more good stuff going on in the world than bad stuff, its just bad news seems to have more impact, and is naturally very upsetting at times.

Going back to my pile of RL laundry now :(

But hope to be whizzing around the world and taking a look at the Fantasy Faire before it closes for the season.

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Aside from the image thing, i notice that you mention feeling invisible or ignored.  Do you wait for others to IM you, or do you strike up conversations yourself?  Just a thought. 



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To everyone that  has sent replies, thank you!

 

     As I sit here trying to absorb all your comments ( much appreciated ty), my thoughts

Go to where do I really want my SL self to go? Soon I will be taking some much needed

Vacations in RL.  These will add some excitement that I do need in my RL. (Travel to be exact abroad. )

 

   I so wanted to fit in and enjoy my fantasies, some I just cannot in RL. My standing

In RL will not allow such fantasies.

 

   Now, my fantasies may be tame to many in SL. But for my usual reserved self they

Are wild. ( we each have our own set of dreams, fantasies, none of us are alike I suppose, what may be my fantasy, would not be someone else)

 

And,, to add  to some of you that have expressed how I wish to change for others.

 

You know all my life I have been one to do for others instead of myself. Some have even

Said I let people run over me ( RL)That I don't stand up for myself

 

My nature is a nuturing one, as is my work in RL. To care for others. Not thinking of myself

 

When I care for someone it is with all my heart and soul. So, that came with me to SL

 

I have tried to be true to myself, and found it did not work

 

 

I could never wear what some ladies do, so when I say I am changing my way of dressing,

Believe me it is not wild to the extreme that many ladies wear.

 

Perhaps I am not meant to be in SL. That I should give more of my RL time to help others

As our world is truly in need. Of compassionate people.

 

And, it is true I do not wish to hurt anyone, and do try to be polite to all even when I disagree

It is just who I am.

 

So, not sure what my next move is. Will check out the stores given by some of you here

 

And the sites given also;

 

To all a wonderful day, may the sun shine down on each one of you today!

 

Lizbeth

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Hi Squashy,

 

    well, many times I do wait for others to IM me, but there are times I will send an IM

Myself, then if ignored  and no reply will not say anything else.

This happens with those on my list of "friends", not sure why people want to be friends

Then won't IM me back, even to say "I'm busy now".  Very puzzling to me.?

 

Still trying to figure this whole thing out. What I am doing wrong and what I should do next.

 

Thanks, Liz

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Be yourself. SL alows people to be who ever they want to be. Most choose the typical supermodle AVI. SOme choose to be Nekos. THose are cool, cute and can be sexy. THen there are the Vampires. Be carefull if you choose that rout. Then there are a select few like me who like dressing in superheroin costumes. SL is full of individuality yet is same. Just be yourself and have fun doing it.

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I think I understood your main point - you began being the RL you in SL but thought because you weren't being asked to dance, etc. that it was due to the non-sexy clothing so you changed for the purpose of wearing what you thought would gain more interest.

A few points:

*I've never felt ignored by the type of clothes I wear.  There may be men who don't ask me to dance due to that, but I likely would not be attracted to that type either.  When I first began SL I met someone where I worked at the time and we eventually partnered. (Note - I met him participating in a mutual activity.)  At the time I met him, I was involved in a separate RP sim where I spent most of my time in SL when I wasn't working at the jazz club and the last thing I wanted was a partner.  So another point there is, as others have said, I wasn't looking.  In fact, I didn't even like this guy initially....lol.  Obviously he won me over, but he had to work for it.  I think we had maybe a month's worth of "dates" before I would even get on a kiss pose ball with him.  We remained partnered for 3 years. :)

So, having had a built-in dance partner for my first 3 years in SL, I can understand the angst of going to a dance venue alone.  When partnered I said I never would if single, but I love dancing.  I only go to ballroom and jazz venues and, yes, most are couple dancing.  I also am not the type that will get on the dance floor and single dance.  When I first went by myself to a ballroom, I figured no one would ask me to dance.  To my surprise, I got about 3 IMs almost immediately!  The most common comment was how much they liked my profile. (It was set up to be a more "social" profile at the time than what it is now.)  I found this to be a continuing pattern; I rarely went to a ballroom that I wasn't asked to dance.  I mentioned to several men your/my concern - that I thought men would ask the more sexual-looking women.  Many men told me that there is a difference between sensual and skanky looking.  One man said, "Oh, you mean the sticks with huge boobs popping out?  I won't go near them with a 10-foot pole."  So there *are* men who appreciate more conservative women.

*The person who said you dressed "vanilla" - that is generally a term one only hears in the D/s, BDSM world referring to people *not* into that scene.  If you're not into that and/or sex sims, looking vanilla shouldn't be an issue.

*When I first began SL, most of the avatars were ultra-tan, like you could just see the white of their eyes tan.  I have fair skin in RL and wanted my av to reflect that.  In 2007 trying to find a non-tanned av that wasn't Goth white was a challenge, but I finally located one.  Thereafter I had friends and strangers telling me I was "too pale" or "you need to get out in the sun more."  One "friend" had the nerve to drop a tan skin on me.  I told each person I preferred to have a fair-skin av.  I'm a redhead and very stubborn, so not only do I not change how I like to look for anyone, depending how they approach me on the subject, they end up wishing they hadn't. :matte-motes-wink:

*Would I want to spend my time alone?  Actually, I do about 95% of my SL time.  I am an only child and learned early in life how to create my own entertainment.  Being alone, but not lonely, on SL much of the time is my choice.  I create, I have a small store, most of my SL friends are people I met on the forums, mostly in the merchant forums because we have a common interest, etc.  There is a saying (which I can't recall verbatim) that is something like, "One first needs to be comfortable within themselves before they can be successful in a relationship." 

No matter what you wear or where you go in SL, you will still be "you."  I'd be interested to hear updates of if this new style works out for you.

I do wish you well and hope you enjoy SL; my main advice is "Be yourself" in whatever way that manifests. :)

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Ren Toxx wrote:

Hello, Lizbeth.

I’ve been following your various threads, and I gotta say you seem like the nicest lady... but I can’t help seeing something slightly puzzling about you... and that’s your seeming willingness to bend to almost any advice, suggestion, expectation or anything thrown your way. You know, it’s perfectly OK to heed advice (especially if you asked for it to begin with, lol), at least in a
‘oh, good idea! How didn’t I think of *that* before?’
fashion... but maybe not so much in a
‘Commenter A: you should dress more sluttily / You: Oh!, thanks, I’ll try to dress more casually / Commenter B: you should dress more conservatively / You: Oh, thanks, I shall strive to dress more formally’
way. There’s been quite a bit of that in all your posts... perhaps unconsciously and partially driven by politeness and gratefulness to all the suggestions; but it’s there, rather markedly in fact, and from many of your comments it does seem as if you’re extremely keen on pleasing others’ tastes... a bit too keen, if you know what I mean.

 

This is exactly the impression I got, but you wrote it far better than I could have.

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Hi Czari

 

        For once I'm at a loss for words, to express my feelings. Will say my avi is not one of those huge boobs, nor big butt ones., She is rather normal in size being perhaps too thin if anything. But, I like the way she looks. I didn't want my avi to look like a tramp. But, a lady. Which I am in RL.

    

Taking time to digest everything. Back to work.

 

anyway, thank you

 

Lizbeth

 

     

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This is strating to look more like a soap serie

Why change clothing to be noticed? If you want to be noticed, just go naked and every one will notice you

Why change clothing to "fit in" some where, fyi, clothing means absolutely nothing, people`s IQ however does, besides, if you don`t feelk comfortable wearing those clothing to fit in, you most likely don`t belong between those people to start with

You sound nice, but sooo naive, you are who you are and nothing will change that, well, a few things could but that might be expensive

Every one is boring when you don`t share their hobby, like playing a vampire when you don`t have much interrest in it will be so exciting, find people who have the same hobbies/interrests to have fun

Friendlist in sl means diddly squat http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Make-Friends/Are-you-friend-material-Sign-up-now/m-p/1960591#M16370

 You keep mentioning RL info, your ex and your desire not to share info, this has been answerd many many many times and starts to sound like a broken record
On a rare occasion i envy people who found a partner and share the same hobby, but then i hear these sorts of stories, like yours, and it makes me happy i`m single in rl and sl with no bleeding eyes or ears

 

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Well Alicia

 

      You are very frank, so lets just say I am stopping this soap, done.  Really regret

Ever asking for anyone's opinions. And, my IQ, is just fine. Perhaps I am naive, will admit to that. As, I've not experienced what so many others have in SL. Nor, do I wish to.

 

Liz

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Read what i typed again along with what i wrote in your other thread

I`ll sum both up in a hopefully easier way to understand:
People who only take others in due to the way they dressed up, are retards (the IQ thingy i mentioned & face value from the other thread) 

IF you need to change your clothing to something you do not like, neither do i, to "fit in", you most likely do not belong between those people your trying to "fit in" with
IF you want to "fit in" some where, find the people who do not take you on face value (avatar/clothing/typing style) and "take you in" because of who you are

Do not change for others, specially not for a stupid virtual world that thrives on anonymity heh

Yes, i speak my mind because i just look trough all the you know what, never won popularity contests because of that, but otherwise you would get a 947 bookwork reply saying nearly nothing as peggy does
I just can`t put it all in a nice little package and just say as i see it (my opinion)

You should not regret asking for every one`s opinion, but you do know your asking it on a public medium so you will get replies across the spectrum
The friends list is actually how it goes in sl, no one bothers to get back to you and this is from expirience so i know how you feel regarding that

You are free to think about me as you wish, but open your eyes and see what you are about to do to your self as you clearly have some self esteem
With reading all these forums threads, don`t you see it?

Welcome partially to my world, not fitting in anywhere, friends who never initiate a conversation and half bored

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