Zenephobe Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:Dear Dr. Laura:Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.source: http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html
Griffin Ceawlin Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Zenephobe wrote: Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, ... Recently? This letter has been making rounds for over a decade.
Zenephobe Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 Awesome. I just now found it, thought there might be others who have not seen it.
Coby Foden Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Zenephobe wrote: Awesome. I just now found it, thought there might be others who have not seen it. I haven't seen it before. Thanks for posting. It was interesting - and amusing reading. :smileyhappy:
Drake1 Nightfire Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Footballs (feetballs?) are made from leather... And we have a different name for her in my circle of friends.. we call her Dr Laura Do**hebag. Self righteous old hag.. ETA.. here is the actual source of that letter... SOURCE
Teagan Tobias Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 A lot of people that quote the Bible only quote passages that further their self serving agenda. Something I have wondered about is, who in the church has the ominous responsibility of telling their God to go fly a kite when other passages are referenced.
Melita Magic Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 I think I got that in email spam like over a decade ago. Catchy topic title though. I thought I was going to get a free Cartman.
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