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lizbeth2u

Re: is it possible to make close SL friends and not involve RL?

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Yes, I've changed my badge, at least its better than that lame picture I had. now if only I could use something more like my sl self........... humm

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Hello Gene

 

     Ok, so to you it's really lame of me to ask this question. I will admit that point.

 

Suppose you mean I need to make my RL........... I take it two ways: 1. I make my RL sound the way I would love for it to be, not what it is.

2. I share what my RL is ?

 

How many in sl share with others eveything in their RL? I admit to sharing many aspects of my RL

 

while wishing to keep private the areas that are no one's business other than those I may wish to share it with

 

Some of us or to be specific Myself. As I can not speak for you nor anyone else have issues in our RL that we are not

willing to share due to not wanting to cross the line between fantasy and RL

 

all this must sound terrible to those of you without any RL issues. For me I am a reserved and proper lady in RL

 

and if I disclose my identity to just anyone it could jeopardize my RL situation.

 

I am truly one that values honest and open discussions. Just wanting to keep some of my RL private.

As I've stated earlier I did go out on the "limb" and give my email address to one friend. Who then searched

 

till he found my FB account and came in while I was there.  I thought that was totally un called for.

 

I should just stop this as I seem to upset some of you for that I am truly sorry. If you knew my reasons I suspect

 

you would not judge me harshly.

 

As I am a very loving and caring soul

not wishing to hurt anyone,

 

anyway, have a good day no matter what you think of my question.

Sent with all the best wishes

 

Liz

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Like many before me I say share only what you feel comfortable sharing.   

Why, given your email, would someone track you down in RL?  Lots of possibilities.  

Some folks are just very, very curious and cannot help looking.   They also shake wrapped gifts trying to guess what is in them.  They mean  no harm and are generally harmless, except when they spoil an otherwise well planned surprise.

There are some other types that are also largely harmless.  Turns out a number of folks take their SL friendships to gchat or email or other mediums without creeping on each other.

Unfortunately there are folks who are not harmless and seek you out with ill intent. 

You can never be absolutely certain of which camp the person falls into so having the SL email address as you get closer to someone is a great idea.  

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...and people call me paranoid :matte-motes-wink-tongue:

Don`t share what you don`t want to share
You must know, and expect, that every person will be curious, some will ask, some will not

The age thing i find a good indication of what to expect from some one regarding their development, i won`t ask it, but sure wouldn`t mind to know :)
SL is full of drama queens and that is something i keep getting my nose rubbed in several times a week, be sure you know who you go to bed with, sort of speak ;)

One thing that might help you, if you have the ability, look at the finer details of their general behavior, typing skills, read between the lines and that sort of things
You will be suprised what you may pickup about some people that will give you a warning about an incoming headache if you continue on that particular path, idea or "dream"

Finding some one is impossible, you will get smacked in the face when you come across that person, stop looking and just enjoy while feeling people out, just don`t give them the wrong impression even tho that`s hard to do as the general male population don`t use their brains to think with :matte-motes-agape:
I`m not generalizing as i belong to that race so allowed to make fun of our less fortunates :matte-motes-bashful-cute-2:

 

Never, never, ever take a person on face value, not their avatar or their 5 minutes that they can be arsed to make a normal sentance, wait for the 5th hour and see if they are still the same...

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VR Professor

 

thank you! I just felt in many ways that my private life had been violated

 

The information I post on my FB walls is for my real life friends as they know the real me.

 

I also wish to thank each person that has given their views, even if I disagree I respect

 

all view points. 

 

love, laugh, and live life each day as it could be your last. 

 

Liz

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Though I repect others feeling a need to maintain a distance, I never have any qualms in dilvulging my own personal information if an interest is shown. But that's simply because I don't distiguish between RL and SL friends as such. The people I am drawn to in SL are, without exception, the same as those I'd be attracted to if I met them in my neighborhood and the ones I'm wary of, I'm certain, I'd be leery of if I'd met them at a party.

 

Whether you're willing to share your RL or not really shouldn't matter. If you are comfortable with what you do and share, others will be comfortable being with you. If you're enjoying life the way your living it, others will enjoy what you allow them to share in.

 

And if they don't, then they're just the wrong "other" for you. Smile and move on...

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LepreKhaun

  Thank you for your honest reply.  I do share many aspects of my RL with those I have come to know that I also respect.  Being respected in SL is very important to me. So, I've limited myself inworld to not going to places that would give the wrong impression of who I am. 

While I realize this limits my exposure to making more friends, it also gives me ( I hope) the chance to find the type of person I would enjoy knowing in both worlds.

 

I came to  SL to explore the fantasy side of myself. It has been rather difficult to allow

My SL self to do some of the things I would most likely enjoy. 

 

I've just lived such a reserved life it is quite hard to let go of that and let my fantasies 

Go wild. Well, for me wild is not what it might be for so many others in SL. :)

 

So many wonderful people I know are in SL, just have to find them! I have found a few

 

Still seeking to learn and explore the many lovely sims, today is my 3rd month in SL

Yes, at last I am no longer a newbie!! LOL

 

BTW, I do enjoy life, am not some stuffy lady. I have a good sense of humor, and love to laugh and have fun. 

 

 

have a great day!

 

Liz

 

 

 

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It's possible, that's why you see some people say they keep rl and sl seperate on their profiles and what have you. Some people are more open to sharing and others not.

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Hi Nox

 

   thanks, and btw, I am still trying to make a badge for myself. without any luck so far. but I never stop trying :)

 

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Sometimes when I read the forums it really makes me think about whether I'm being realistic in my views. I think SL is SL and can stay there but in order to have a true deep relationship RL things like age, what you do things like that need to be shared. My thinking is because you do feel connected to that person in real ways and want to be as close with them as you can without physically being there. But the key is each situation is different. Take your time with people and let them earn enough trust for your to feel comfortable with them. Test them over time. There are those who can be trusted with everything then those who are just after drama. Time reveals all those things.

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Thank you Tigertat,

    I am finding myself more open with those I can relate to. And, desire to know better. 

One never knows when that someone will come along, so here I go again with a smile 

And anticipation of what might happen down the road. :)

 

Lizbeth

 

 

 

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You could give them "RL info" that coincides with your SL avatar. For instance, if you work as a DJ in SL & they ask what you do for a living in RL, heck -- say "DJ". As far as they're concerned, SL for your avatar IS its RL too; not like your avatar can walk off the screen & physically invade your space. :) That would be really freaky if it could! LOL

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Syo Emerald wrote:

And this will always be the case, because guessing aditional information because of age is always about sterotypes.

 

That being the case, what is there to gain from her disclosing it BUT those stereotypes, even when in direct contradiction to who she might be (as you yourself experienced/said). People ask for age because they want to build onto their idea of the personae presented. If it is her wish not to be  in a rl situation  then I see nothing to be gained except her feeling bullied and more than likely the inquiring party's mental image being blown by their own prejudice/stereotyping. And for what? To prove what? Not to know her better. Cuz you yourself said that the rl age did not reflect  "who you were" in personality or  or values or ideas.  And THOSE are the the things she's bringing. Asking for her body's age then is asking for "a picture" (mentally) to catalogue a body that she's said no one here is welcome to.

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