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Titan761488315425

LGBT Group for support and friends

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I am looking to start a group where LGBT folks can meet and make friends here in SL.  It will not be a cruising place or sex orientated.  Just a positive place where people can meet and have some G rated fun.  It might be too much to ask but I haven't found one here in SL.  I would be willing to donate land and build a meeting place.  If something like this sounds great to you, please contact me. I envision a group of tightly nit SL friends for support and comradery.  Once we build a core group, people can only join by invite.  Let me know what you think!  contact me Titan76

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Why not join an existing LGBT group that has land already?

If you're not setting up land or building, (I assume you just want to be a founder in the group) there's very little offered by just joining an SL group.

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SOunds good to me. I have seen only one Trans suport group but would be nice to be in a group for all in the LGBT community. 

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There are several very large groups for the LGBT community, but it is a mixed bag ... G rated activities and others. I don't really see a strictly G rated place having that broad of an appeal. There are clubs with dancing that don't allow nudity, most gay venues are not cruising or sex areas actually, and are rated M, not A . Some have gaming areas, I have friends who like to go bowling in fact. From my observations, there is not that much cohesiveness among the L G B and T people that make up the acronym, despite the liberal use of it. There are gay venues and sims that allow only adult male avatars, there are Lesbian sims that do not allow male avatars. Transgendered folk ... I am not quite sure what that means in SL exactly. I have known people who are transgendered in RL, and others who are one gender in RL and the opposite in SL.

From what I've seen, unless people are invested in RL LGBT politics and activism, there's little in SL to draw (what many consider to be) such disparate groups together. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLJulFeAFyk

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Hmm.. since LGBT is all about what sexual preference you prefer it would be some what sexual oriented. But not pixel porn anything thing like that. I know its also good to be around people who understood you more but you can have just as much fun with as straight person. Aslong as they support and respect you why can't they be one of your friends too ?

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I don't really get the idea behind this. In what way is it different to enjoy G rated activities with someone loving the same gender? Does it feel different to play a game with someone depending on their sexual orientation? :smileysurprised:

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Syo Emerald wrote:

Does it feel different to play a game with someone depending on their sexual orientation? :smileysurprised:

I can't tell if this is rhetorical, but this question comes up often in other forms ("why does <minority> need a place of their own?", "Why not practice inclusiveness?" "Why divide people deliberately?", etc). It's been tackled at length by social analysts far more competent than I.

The short answer is that yes, it does feel different. It can be very affirming to know that everyone around you accepts your choices, and that you don't have to be as 'on your guard' as many of these minorities are in the everyday world. It's a safe® place where one can talk about their same-sex partner (or atypical gender status) without gasps or having to defend themselves.

Some gaming communities are well-known to use homophobic insults freely, or without thought to those they might be offending. Attacks on transgendered people are incredibly common in or around a 'clubbing' environment (especially where people mistakenly feel their expectations were justified, such as a 'straight' nightclub). Two relatively sad and far too common examples of why it can be refreshing and different to know you're in a place where these things are less likely to happen.

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Well said Freya ... sympathy, empathy, common experiences ... support, friendship, comfort from those who share similar experiences is a very cozy feeling. It's not about sexual orientation, as that clip I included illustrated in a funny way, the sexual orientation of gay men and Lesbians has nothing in common. The trials and prejudices they face gives them something in common in RL.  Though I know many men who are gay in SL and live a straight RL, and women here who are partnered to women but happily married to men in RL, so I don't know how that factors in. However, regardless of who is what in RL, in SL there is a good deal of prejudice ... for example, the only griefer attack targeted at an individual I witnessed was because this person is transgendered in RL and identified herself as such in her profile.

As for why anyone would want G rated activities in that community ... while not every gay club is for cruising and not every club has sex, nudity and playing with each others' naughty bits and spamming open chat with that happens alot, and in a good many gay clubs, the focus of conversation is flirty with a large portion of raunchy tossed in. I can't speak regardling Lesbian clubs, I've only been to one, in an effort to be neighborly. Nice people there, big language barrier, and I had very little in common with the members.

 

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I think it is helpful to know the people you're mingling with accept your orientation, especially for new people. When I started I searched for TG places all the time and spent most of my social time in them and I agree that comfort level really helped. On the other hand, SL is different from RL. There are prejudices here, sure, but it's nothing like RL. Once I started meeting more non-TG people and getting out and about I discovered I could just be me here. Nobody snickered, nobody turned away. I still spend time with my friends from those days but I haven't been in a place that defines itself as TG since I can't remember when.

I've had one really snarky comment and a few not exactly polite dropped convos because of my orientation in going on five years. All from guys who hit on me without reading my profile. I can usually tell when that happens and of course if I suspect that I ask if they've read it. Most of the time I get at worse an "Oops", often I get a polite response before the conversation ceases. I've certainly never been harrased or griefed.

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I agree with you. I have found that actual RL gender or RL gender preffrense does not matter on SL. People see a Female AVI they treat her like a female AVI. They see a male AVI same thing. Even my partner on SL who had never even had the disire to be with a TG sees it that. Long as your AVI is one gender you will be seen as that gender. I still think a G rated group would be nice. Surely there are those out there not into it for the sex. For me, I am TG in RL and see nothing sexual about being TG. Surely there are others out there like that.

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I think it depends on where you go, I've met straight male avatars who refuse to hang out with female avatars unless they're voice verified. There are groups that voice verify gender (as if someone can't get a friend to talk on mic for him or her) and a good many people are all but obsessed about RL gender, you have only to look at some of these threads about playing the opposite sex, or wanting a gen-u-wine female or male. There are people who never make mention of their RL genders, they aren't liars, they just never say one way or another, and when friends find out OMG OMG LIAR LIAR and it's a lot of drama. Though I do believe for just hanging out and casual acquantance what gender someone is in RL doesn't really matter. I know a lot of guys with female alts, everyone knows who they are, and treat them sort of like dress up dolls to have fun with. I've known Lesbians with male alts who don't tell their girlfriends they're women in RL, and guys who have been appalled to find out that their SL wives are men in RL. Others don't care and mix it up all the time. One guy I met refused to come over to my place unless I voiced with him, which I thought was kind of vain, since I wasn't inviting him over for sex, I'd decorated my place with his wares and wanted to show him.

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Lucretia Brandenburg wrote:

I think it depends on where you go, I've met straight male avatars who refuse to hang out with female avatars unless they're voice verified. There are groups that voice verify gender (as if someone can't get a friend to talk on mic for him or her) and a good many people are all but obsessed about RL gender, you have only to look at some of these threads about playing the opposite sex, or wanting a gen-u-wine female or male. There are people who never make mention of their RL genders, they aren't liars, they just never say one way or another, and when friends find out OMG OMG LIAR LIAR and it's a lot of drama. Though I do believe for just hanging out and casual acquantance what gender someone is in RL doesn't really matter. I know a lot of guys with female alts, everyone knows who they are, and treat them sort of like dress up dolls to have fun with. I've known Lesbians with male alts who don't tell their girlfriends they're women in RL, and guys who have been appalled to find out that their SL wives are men in RL. Others don't care and mix it up all the time. One guy I met refused to come over to my place unless I voiced with him, which I thought was kind of vain, since I wasn't inviting him over for sex, I'd decorated my place with his wares and wanted to show him.

Well said! I'd just like to add that the T in LGBT is for transgender These are people actually changing or who do not inhabit the same gender body IRL, so stuff like voice verification and web cam, skype, pics, phone calls..really anything along those lines is totally out the window. It means absolutely zero other than for people fishing for RL dates of certain criteria. If it gives them cooties, they crawled out of their own ear and climbed into their...

 

:P

 

To OP, I know a very nice existing place. We may have actually spoken, lol. Sometimes the amount of activity can be sporadic but the way I see that is it's people that are comfortable enough with themselves not to be focused on the 'how do I come to grips with this' part of it all the time and do other things. :)

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I'm replying to you, Eileen (Hi, by the way) but since your post was a reply in fact I'm replying to both. From what I've heard/read you and Lucretia are both right. There are those who just will not socialize at ALL with anyone whose biological gender they are not sure of. To my way of thinking that's a dumb attitude even in RL; in Second Life it's just totally silly (not least because that 'sure of' component is way more doubtful here than in RL).

I suppose there are plenty of people who fall into SL and are swept away by the places where sexuality reigns. I knew someone like that back in my early days ;-). But that person didn't care about who anyone else was in RL. I personally think that those who do worry about that sort of thing have personal issues. 

There is in my opinion one gigantic exception to what I just wrote. When a real contact is made, when the two of you are staring into each other's imagined eyes and thinking of making commitments, the truth is required. Even if you both agree it is SL only.

And just to prove nobody knows anything: I was once roundly chastised for saying what I just wrote, by someone whe was misled about gender in a relationship. That person finally learned the truth, but was still grateful to the deceiver, who had apparently deduced exactly what the person needed at that time and fulfilled the task.

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Hi Dillon. :) Great to see you dear!

yea, it would just be so nice for it to be a non issue wherever you go in SL. Which brings it back to why have more comfortable areas for people. IMO, you can't have too many and having plenty in each maturity level is even better :)

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Could write the repeative story that goes back from when paper and pencil were invented...

Short version:
You are who you are, but your SL behavior represents your real life "counter part", roleplay my arse...

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I have a question. I have read the ToS and I have read the community standards; however, I like to role play in Gor, which has a lot of homophobia. I have been, what I feel, is sexually harassed for being gay, kicked out, banned etc for acting or looking gay or transgendered. Do these sims have the right according to ToS and community standards to remove avatars from their sim for being openly gay, acting openly gay, or looking effeminate? I would just like to get some input and discussion going on this issue. 

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Perrin Avindar wrote:

I have a question. I have read the ToS and I have read the community standards; however, I like to role play in Gor, which has a lot of homophobia. I have been, what I feel, is sexually harassed for being gay, kicked out, banned etc for acting or looking gay or transgendered. Do these sims have the right according to ToS and community standards to remove avatars from their sim for being openly gay, acting openly gay, or looking effeminate? I would just like to get some input and discussion going on this issue. 

The owners of a sim can restrict access to whoever they want and for any reason. If they don't want gays, or furries, or people with ginger hair, it's totally up to them and totally within the rules to ban those groups from their own sims.

What they can't do is hate speech.  For instance putting up posters that say "All gays are pedos and should be executed - join us in driving the gay menace out of SL" (okay that's maybe a bit extreme but you get the general idea, I hope).

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