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Why Do They Do It?


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Kudos to you for not using ugly ban lines!

However, don't bee to kind either. What about the wasp or beehives they sell as security? They are usually a bit slow to react, so passerbys who come a bit close driving or sailing, would not notice them at all.

I remember meeting those as a newbie. I was curious, and landed on a porch, simply because it was the best house and landscape I had seen. Those bees were pushing me, I promise you no one will manage to stay there and ignore them!

Set up one of those on the sky platform too. That would keep them from rezzing prims on it and pushing it over the land border. A too generous idea to have rezzing, even if you have autoreturn set. It's so many griefing tools that duplicate themself so fast, it is simply not worth the risk.

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Peggy Paperdoll wrote:

She's done everything reasonable to resolve the problem (in a polite and calm manner).  She's out of ideas........so are most here.  Some say move (or run and hide).  Some say ignore (don't run but hide).  I say fight fire with fire.  Stay within the ToS but stop being the nice guy.......she's tried that and got flipped off for it.

 

Couldnt agree more!

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Ignore the advice to go into a full confrontation with the neighbors.  As much as anyone would like to think, there is no real butt-kicking in SL.  The best you could do is get into a war of words (childish at best) or a war of prims/particles (potential TOS violation and backfire [you being found guilty]).  Both of these will take a toll on your peace of mind and enjoyment of SL, and only escalate the problem.  There are those who seem to enjoy constant bickering/drama, I feel you are not one of them.  

If you are inclined to do more than ignore, then I would take 16's suggestion to quietly go about trying to adjust your side of things and document the reactions.  If you can clearly demonstrate through documentation a pattern of griefing to any extent, then and only then would you come close to being able to use that to get a real resolution to the problem if one exists.  

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Kenbro, I know you've been around long enough to know that that tactic is not going to work well.  What you are saying is play the waiting game.......thinking your annoying neighbor is going to tire of the game just acquiesce, move the annoying build smashed against Melita's platform, and move away.  Yeah that does work sometimes but Melita is the one doing the waiting and meanwhile she's dealing with the people she has generously allowed previleges on her property..........she can't just ignore that her friends have to deal with the issue too (well she could but I'm sure she would never ignore her friends like that).  If she didn't have the friends she has given so much to then I might be agreement with you since it's only her having the problem.......but that's not the case.  The neighbor is, obviously, trying to ruin Melita's SL.  It won't take long before that neighbor might decide to annoy the friends.  Being a "milktoast" to aggession never works.  And that is exactly what you are advocating.  "Just roll-over and it will work out".  Yeah it will........but at what expense?

I've waited out a neighbor myself.....I won.  But it took about 2 years.  I didn't even play the "war of words" game.  I asked one time and got the finger (like Melita did) then I just moved higher.  Then they followed me and moved lower, then they followed me and I.........etc.  It was only me and, at the time, I was in the building mood and I simply used the annoyance as an excuse to build something else.  I wouldn't do the same today though.

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People are asses. You don't have any option to change that. However, you do have a few options where your land is concerned.

 

1. If you really must be free-hearted and let people roam your ground level, invest in a house with doors that lock. Unless a name is on its whitelist, the doors will not open. Bear in mind, this will not stop people from going inside your house. They can simply cam in and click to sit on a chair or any other prim. But that solves your door issue as you see it.

2. You can see a list of who has prims on your land in the land settings. You can also return any/all of those items with a click at the time of your choosing. That is if you want to leave rez/object entry on for the public - which is a bad idea in general.

3. If your neighbor rezzes unsightly stuff at any level, unless your sim has some kind of covenant to adhere to, there's nothing that can be 'enforced'. You can, however, derender anything you don't want to see. It doesn't make it go away entirely, but at least you won't have to look at it.

4. You can set the permissions on your land where nobody can see or chat with anyone on that parcel. Once you do this, the creepers won't be able to see you anymore, even if they do cam over.

5. Since your platform in the air seems like a simple one with few prims, why not just move it up or down or over? No, you shouldn't have to, but it's a lot easier than dealing with people who are just unable to be dealt with or reasoned with.

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Hello! Well, here is the update.

First of all I am sorry it has taken until tonight for an update. I could not bear to go in and see if there was any change, until tonight. That was in case there was no change. My IMs to email have not been showing up, which some say is impossible but has been happening to me off and on all year. So I didn't want to assume I had no reply from the neighbor at all, although there was none in my email inbox. (I do have IMs sent to my email, because they used to 'cap' fairly often; now I am regularly surprised with IMs I never knew I had, on log in. Anyway that is a whole other technical issue unrelated to this.) My point is that seeing no response in my email did nothing to reduce my stress on the whole thing. So I just avoided logging in until tonight. So I could not make an update until now.

The good news is: They moved the sky world somewhere else. I don't know where, but it isn't visible from my sky platform any more. I blinked a few times because I could hardly believe my eyes and then I tried to heave a sigh of relief. Part of me believes it will be back tomorrow. ;)

However for now it is gone. Last time I had logged in I had sent them a heartfelt entreaty basically pleading with them to move to another altitude. Whatever reason it worked I am just glad it did. Maybe when I didn't move right away they saw I wasn't going anywhere. I don't know if this will be a continued back and forth but for now I'm hoping this will be it and thinking positive.

I want to thank every person who posted in the topic. Each of you shared very good advice and thoughts and experience and many of you shared some humor as well. All of it was very greatly appreciated. It shouldn't have bothered me I suppose, but it did, maybe because SL is my little patch of blue or stress relief, and at times it is sorely needed. But when I read the responses here, I felt very supported. Whatever might have happened I felt like I had some course of action to choose that would help me at least feel I was sticking up for myself.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to each and every one of you!

Love,

Melita

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Simply because they can. Melita, with all you have done for others and shared many things with people who may not have the $ to spend, or just simply don't want to (nothing wrong with that as long as they realize that was their choice and others objects, unless told they can use, not use them) People for some reason feel entitled on SL to do whatever they want no matter how it may affect another person. It isn't just the ones that feel they don't have to pay for things they want , they rudely borrow others. Your neighbor seems to know what she is doing from what you said she built, so maybe the prims on your land was understood also, who knows. It's just rude and it's hard to understand when you do share and help people how some can be so ignorant. I guess you could make it so no one from another parcel can see other avs, not sure how that works on mainland though.

I know many don't like orbs, much better than ban lines in my opinion, I have very a very simple orb that we used for renters, no fancy menus, nothing. it does not ban or send people home and no lag. you can set area, and ejection time. If you would like one i will give you one, just message me. In my opinion I don't believe in warnings, but given an ejection time that is suitable is the same thing, but you dont have to be there to act on the warning. People just don't care about respecting others and their privacy. Sorry you have to deal with that.

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She doesn't have to go all demonic on them, but she is paying for that land so waiting out the neighbors is one more day she is not fully enjoying the land she pays for. I do see negative attention warrants more ignorance, but if handled properly, lol, it won't be an ongoing issue.

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It has as much chance to work as a war of words or wall screens and particles would.  We have threads about land disputes all the time in here where it has escalated to a personal level and it makes people's SL lives miserable, and the bickering never solves the problem.  Sorry, but going virtual whoop-azz has absolutely no effect on someone who starts something on purpose, it is the just the conflict they are looking for and feeds the fire.  Please explain to me how getting in a school yard fight is going to solve anything?  I made the statement that I did not think Melita was the type of person who could wage a war and get any enjoyment of SL while doing so.  I still believe that, in the end it would be her choice, but the ignore, mute, derender, and ban approach would at least let her continue to log in to a home instead of a war zone.  

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I just want to add here

am really proud of you Melita (:

you find a way to resolve it just by be true to yourself. you speak to them from your heart. about what it means for you

while we all got our ways of dealing with adversity. sometimes just to speak plain and honest and true can overcome. so we learn this from you

so thanks and I remember for always what you done this day. not just for yourself. but for us also

<3 (:

 

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