ADVICE NEEDED: I don't get it, where is everyone at?

[MarqueesN9ne]

I've been logging on and off in Second Life for two years now. When I log on, I look around and notice that many people already have their own groups, or just have no interest in making friends because they are in relationships. How do people make friends so easily? I feel as if everyone else just walks into a room and they just automatically click with everyone. Maybe the problem is that i'm too quiet? I have a nice avatar, spend lindens when I want, but that fun can only last for so long when by myself. Are people not messaging me because I have my first life section filled out, do a lot of people get intimidated by that? 

Another thing that I have noticed is, why are most places so empty? Where is everyone at, (besides the BDSM places)? 

If you have any advice on how I can make my self more noticable, or maybe you relate and want to share anything, just respond back to this, thanks! 

[Ry0ta Exonar]

Here are a few threads where you can find suggestions.

http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Make-Friends/Good-places-to-meet-people/m-p/1199165/highlight/true#M8269

http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Make-Friends/Where-to-meet-SL-folks/m-p/759829/highlight/true#M1315

http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Avatar/where-can-you-meet-peole/qaq-p/820725

If you search on the forums, you could find more threads to read. Good luck!

[Charolotte Caxton]

Hi. You mean for a different avatar of yours? Because the profile for this avatar is very blank.

Also, you might want to post in the Make Friends forum or general discussion, this is mostly a question and answer section. 

However, lots of people make friends in different ways, the best way is to be friendly and open to whatever while still being true to yourself.

 

[Rolig Loon]

I'm basically a loner too, so I'm often working alone when I'm in world, especially during the day when many people are at work in RL.  I kind of enjoy those times.  I can get a lot of creative things done then.  People start coming home in the evenings, so that's my social time. 

You might join a group that sounds interesting, or take up an activity like sailing or theatre that is a natural for group participation.  People do seem to clump at certain places, and at certain times.  Look for musical events, for example.  The group I have worked with for more than five and a half years always dances on Monday and Friday evenings as a way to stay in touch.  We always welcome newcomers, so there's usually a good mix of people, not a clique.  I suspect there are lots of groups like that in SL, just as there are in RL.  You just have to explore and be open to opportunities.

[Peggy Paperdoll]

I'm a naturally shy person in real life and that shyness carried over into SL when I first joined (many years ago........LOL).  I spent almost all my time wandering around by myself and almost never spoke to anyone (aside from an accidental meeting of who became my best friend in SL which progressed to a RL friendship since we lived less than 10 away from each other).  Sometimes I would say "Hi" and get nothing back, or maybe a simple "Hi" back..........but it was always the "now what?" after saying "Hi".  My accidental friend is somewhat of an extrovert (which is why I got to know her........I would never have initiated a conversation on my own) and I watched and listened to how she met people.  She always found something to say after the "Hi".......even if it was just "Darn, my typing is miserable" (which may or may not have been true..............it was just an opening to say something else).  I took her cue and started throwing out silly, non threatening chit chat............and it worked.  People started talking to me.  You just need something to say after you "meet" someone.  And from that little change in my initial encounter with people I learned about clubs and events from those new aquaintances.....they gave me landmarks to clubs and told me to check them out.  I started doing that and using my friends silly none sense chit chat got to be part of the group.....once that happens it's easy to talk about most anything (I don't get serious in SL so it was all silly stuff...........which most people feel comfortable with so "friendships" were made and groups were joined.  That took me about a couple months to get to that point.........and it's been uphill since then. 

A very good venue to explore is life music events.  The people attending those events are about the most friendly I've found in SL.  The singers are extremely friendly, their group members are so enthusiastic that it's contagious.  Not to mention that you get to hear some very good music and singing...........any genre.  Give it a shot.