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ElaraTuesday

Ejected, banned, muted.

21 posts in this topic

Wednesday morning we talked, then I logged out, a few hours later, I logged in. I had been ejected and banned from her property, and then also muted by her. There was a short message in IM: "I know what you have done...I am angry as I have ever been. I never want to see you again."

I have absolutely NO IDEA what I did to cause this to happen. I wasn't even online when it happened. I tried to talk to her with my alt - - she banned and muted my alt. I tried to have a friend talk to her, all she would say was, "She knows very well what she did....I will not be duped.....I have nothing to add....except that I never want to see her again."


I am completely baffled, bewildered and hurt. How can someone claim to care so much about you, then turn around and throw you away with no explanation? I feel like I never want to go into SL again.

One of my friends said there was no reason, she just did it because that is how some people are in SL. Another friend thinks that someone must have done something, lied about me to her, sent her something about me. And yet another thinks there must be some mistake that was made, a misunderstanding. I cannot even defend myself against this unknown crime that I supposedly committed. Part of me is like, well, screw you if you can do that to me. The other part is just sad and confused. I don't know what could have possibly transpired in those hours, but the curiousity is killing me.

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in a world where multiple alts are possible then it can get messy sometimes

ike your friend thinks you maybe someone else seems like. you not but it can seems that way sometimes

while everyone is unique person we share quite a lot of same characteristics with other people. specially in text only situations

is bummer when this happens. can only just carry on being yourself and not worry

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You have done all you can....but lets face the facts: She must have a brain of the size of a peanut. Someone who went so easily crazy and act like a baby wouldn't have made you happy anyway.

See it from this side: Something happend without your avatar being involved and she doesn' have the guts to talk to you like an adult would do. Also she seems to have little to no trust in you, other way she wouldn't believe any kind of garbage she hears (or whatever might got into her brain).

If you still want to know what is going on....maybe you should try it some weeks later again. Could be that she cooled down by then.

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If you have a relationship in SL with someone, you kind of ask for this.

If RL romantic feelings get involved, take it to RL. Call the person on the phone, or meet in person - if its going to go that direction.

Save SL for friendships, acquantences, 'frisky play', and a place to play with your RL romantic interest.

 

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ElaraTuesday wrote:

 "She knows very well what she did....I will not be duped.....I have nothing to add....except that I never want to see her again."

 

I'd guess somebody told her you were a male in rl. People are really paranoid bout that. Maybe something you said or did to a friend of hers made them think you were male rl and then they told her.

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Anyone that really cared would give you at least one chance to talk about it. Sounds to me like you dodged a great big drama queen bullet. Thank your higher power and move on with relief.  Don't feel like a fool,  she is for acting that way.

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one of her friends that wanted her must have told her that you cheated on her, because he was jealous of your relationship. but dont worry, she is gonna get rid of that friend when another person tells her that he cheated, she is like that.

youre not losing much, she doesnt love as much as she says, she is willing to believe what others say over your word  without questioning, and she didnt fought to not lose you. theres a lot of people better than her in SL, you just meet a bad apple.

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My advice, would first be, to stop attempting to contact that Resident. You don't want to provide for a convenient excuse to be Reported.

 

If you really have something you must say: 99 - 1, that Resident will review your Profile at some time in the future. You could use that, to communicate a thought or idea; write anonymously.

 

I have to agree with other comments here,

Gross, emotional over reactions, may indicate the possible presence of other behavioral instabilities. Know what you are getting yourself into.

 

To counter:

Gross, emotional over reactions, may be the sign of an intensely passionate person. Their capacity for love and kindness, is equal to that of their jealousy and rage.

 

 

 

If you have been disingenuous, or insincere; you should fess up, IF you desire to attempt to salvage the relationship. If they don't like truth, you will have your answer.

 

 

 

 

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I am going to echo what others have said.  You need to think really carefully about how this girl has responded to what ever it is she thinks you have done.  Sometimes our "dream person" we are with turns out to have a side to them that is not pleasant at all.  And it sounds here in this situation it has reared it's ugly head.

I can understand you wanting to know what it is she thinks you did.  It might be possible to defend yourself but more than likely you won't be able to. 

The best thing is to continue to live your SL.  It may seem hard at first when you log in.  But it is the best thing.

If you really want to get back with her, continue to do the things you did.  Just avoid doing anything that may have the appearance of being intimate with someone else.  Let your friends know you are totally stunned by what happened and leave it at that.

I hope this helps.

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Welcome to SL!


I agree with the other comments here. Let me tell you a short story what happened to me once:

I was very happy with someone and married for 2.5 years, and never cheated on her. Well i have to admit i am bipolar and have some mental issues, but most people can handle me pretty well when i am being a brat... lol

Anyway... Last year i was "playing" with a neighbor girl who lived on the same sim. She was more like a daughter to me, she even called me daddy and we got along good. (Keep in mind: theres a difference between "playing" and having sex).

But then she started to like me more and i suggested we could use my alt and get together there if we want to "play".

My wife and i had both agreed that we can have someone to play with on an alt. And that's exactly what i did.

But then later my SL-wife thought i was screwing her on my main, and we hadnt done nothing yet. But she didn't believe me and broke up. She cried and told everybody that i screwed her behind her back, and i got banned very fast.

But honestly, i haven't even screwed her. I really dont need sex in SL. I have my RL wife who gives me everything i want. So i dont have the desire to do it in SL.Besides that, my RL wife is sitting right behind me when i play SL. I didnt even ask my SL-wife for much sex, simplay because i can't do it!

Well the neighbor girl didnt like my wife either so she back stabbed me too and told her that we f...ed several times, which is a lie. She was after me too, but i couldn't be for her what she wanted me to be. So i was the big cheater and i got no chance to defend myself. Nobody listened to me, but they banned me and muted me fast. And i was being faithfull all the time.

But thats life: Some people believe God is a woman... my ex wife believes i screwed that neighbor girl... well let them believe it!

Best thing is to shut up and let people believe what they want to believe.

Best thing you can do is to (try to) move on... there will always be a...holes in SL.

 

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I can sympathize with the way you feel, but unfortunately, it's out of your hands.

That's the only sucky thing about a virtual world:  things can get very confusing, very fast.

 

My personal opinion?

If the issue doesn't resolve itself in time, (ie: I'm assuming someone lied about something you did), 

then you will eventually mend your heart and move on.

 

I completely disagree with the childish way she went about banning/muting you before you even had the chance to defend yourself against .. whatever allegation she had against you.

Perhaps you're better off.  Like your friend said unfortunately, some people just .. do that in SL.  

You'll love again.  :)  And much stronger than before.   Just give yourself time to move on from this situation.

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Jinx Requiem wrote:

You'll love again.  
:)
 And much stronger than before. 

You'll probably also get hurt much worse than before. Isn't that really the lesson to take from this? Love doesn't last, especially in SL. 

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Devon Wildmist wrote:


ElaraTuesday wrote:

 "She knows very well what she did....I will not be duped.....I have nothing to add....except that I never want to see her again."

 

I'd guess somebody told her you were a male in rl. People are really paranoid bout that. Maybe something you said or did to a friend of hers made them think you were male rl and then they told her.

My thought is that the person who did this has something to hide. Maybe they are involved in RL, maybe they are another gender than they claimed, in RL, maybe they have standard commitment issues, and freaked out at the intense day when they said "I love you in 5 languages" as the OP put it. Maybe they have 20 alts with 20 affairs each and wanted to burn some bridges. I have heard of all of the above happening, in SL and in other online arenas. 

If you haven't seen it, felt it, tasted it, there is some chance it's an illusion. That's the lesson, in my opinion, but don't let it harden you.

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"If you have been disingenuous, or insincere; you should fess up, IF you desire to attempt to salvage the relationship. If they don't like truth, you will have your answer."

 

I haven't been either of those things. I was honest and forthright about myself the entire time. And there is no way for me to salvage anything with someone who will not even speak with me.

I have decided to take an extended LOA from SL.

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Sounds like she is hiding something and using you as an exuse. As someone who has been hurt before in sl the best advice I can give you is NOT to fall in love and if you do KNOW that if will not last so ENJOY it while its happening. 

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Sorry for what Happened to you but Yeah it happens in Sl A lot.. Matter of fact Happened to my friend Gen who was Ejected and banned from from his GF land without no Reason Until he learned that someone Faked logs and send them to her .. Sl is tricky.. She should of Taken the time to talk to you one on one to discuss it. Not give you the chance to tell your side of the story

 

God luck to you my friend :D

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It does sound as if someone lied to her, and the comment about fake chat logs really struck a chord with me. Chat logs are proof of nothing, given from one resident to another, as they are so very easily forged. Should anyone give me a chat log as proof of a thing, I would take it with a grain of salt.

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So you tried to contact her with your alt, and thru a mutual friend, and your ex is still acting this way. You can honestly say you tried. What more can one really do? Be proud of yourself for giving an honest effort.

couple things no one seemed to mention -

If you are gonna get involved with SL relationships, make it a private thing. Don't date people within your "circle" if you even have one. The person I have been dating since about my second month - we do not even know each others' friends so anything that goes on with us is strictly between us.

Of course most of my SL friends don't know each other. I am more of a one-on-one type and not a clique type.

Also, now I am not saying for sure but - what if you were to know this person RL, like say afforded a chance to meet face to face. What if you were at that point horror-stricken at who they are RL? Right now you imagine them to be this beautiful, wonderful person but what if it were your worst nightmare? You might get that "sinking" feeling and think "I let THIS person make me upset and hurt?"

I mean I don't know but who they are either obviously. I would just say being how we are in SL, don't put too much stock in who you hope someone might be in RL.

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We didn't have mutual friends. She met one of my friends, one time. The more I think about it, the more I believe that she just wanted to get rid of me for some reason of her own. I know I didn't do anything wrong. So, a lesson has been learned and I will have to be more careful in the future.

Thanks to everyone for your opinions and thoughts, I appreciate it.

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Yeah I don't trust them unless im there to see the message or witnessed it by somebody.. I just toss them out..  Don't matter where they come from..

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