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RaeLeeH

Abusive "partners" - possible?

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I have a kink I can't seem to find a group for; to be abused physically as well as sexually by a partner/potential partner. Yes, as in domestic violence. I know that sounds creepy, and one would wonder why someone would actually WANT such a thing in SL, given it's horrific effects in real life. Well, the same argument could be made about rape and kidnap, which are both popular in SL too. But I just don't see anywhere that entertains a little spousal or partner abuse. Is that at all possible?

 

I've seen animations and such that allow one avatar to 'slap' another; usually in the context of rough or foced sex. Is there anything out there that enables such abuse (slap, punch, etc) AND is there anywhere Sim-wise that caters to those wanting to do a little regular beating/abusing/loving or to be the victim of such? I realise to a large degree abuse can be played out or implied via role play, but too have found people wanting to partake in this sparse. It's not exactly something you bring up on a crowded dance floor is it? "Hi my name is Jane Doe; would you like to abuse me on a semi-regular/sporadic basis?"

 

I know people will recommend one wait, find someone, allow feelings to develop over time etc, but I am not looking for an actual partner, just one to role play with. I find it weird I can get raped on a daily basis if I want, but try and get a guy to yell at you, he shies away and suddenly has to be somewhere else. Is there no one else out there that finds this... well, a turn on, or is it just me?

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I will not use this to get into the issue of DV..in RL, it is a horrible thing and no one should have to put up with it.

That being said, my suggestion may be to frequent BDSM clubs...Masters are very good at "abusing" their slaves in the same manner as what you're looking for. I would ask a Master if he would be interested in having you as his "spouse" and playing that kind of RP.

Good luck

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jwenting wrote:

Actually, a quality Dom(me) won't abuse his/her subs. Any other is too dangerous to recommend dealing with.

True...but I think that is the best option to play out her kink. It's all a matter of mutual limits..what each will do, as we all know. 

I wanted to just suggest that as a place to start looking. There are all kinds of people here..who are looking for all kinds of things. That was just my suggestion.:matte-motes-sunglasses-1:

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jwenting wrote:

Actually, a quality Dom(me) won't abuse his/her subs. Any other is too dangerous to recommend dealing with.

If all parties agree to play it and enjoy the kink - it is not abuse in any kind of way.

Perfectly normal that consenting adults play out such things. Nothing wrong with it.

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Efurou wrote:


jwenting wrote:

Actually, a quality Dom(me) won't abuse his/her subs. Any other is too dangerous to recommend dealing with.

If all parties agree to play it and enjoy the kink - it is not abuse in any kind of way.

Perfectly normal that consenting adults play out such things. Nothing wrong with it.

OP explicitly called for an abusive partner, that was a red flag for me. Too easy to end up with a really abusive person...

 

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Do you play female or male ?

 

For females you may want to check out the group 'Brutally Punished Wives'.

If you check the owner of said group you might find a few more groups which might interest you

in their group list.

Or check some of the groups I have on my avatar lists for my characters Katyenka- and Zazya Zenovka.

 

 

It is also quite strange that someone roleplaying a rapist would shy away from beating you or yelling at you.

 

 

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Thank you Tex, jwenting, Efurou, Conaletta, and Sephrenya for your responses. I should have replied long before now. Your posts, and some 'In world' exploration, helped me better define and understand what it is I wanted, and what it is I still want.

 

I'd like to amend my original post, and I'd like to clarify a few points.

 

In no way do I condone real life violence. I also realise now that no matter how hard one tries or likes to pretend otherwise, inevitably real feelings and emotions DO come into play even when role playing with arguably fictional characters. I was naive to think that I could keep emotions separate. Doesn't work.

 

I have been on Rape-based Sims. Have been a regular user of Sassy's skirt, jeans and shorts, the BH Use-me tool, and to a lesser extent the VGPS transmitter. I also joined the 'Brutally punished wives' club mentioned by Conaletta. I did have a modicum of success. I met men who abused me, which was fun... but brief. Most accounts were just that; random attacks. Even in the club, the premise of being punished for murder is not what I am looking for. I'm not looking for an utterly controlling manipulative monster, (or a collar carrying Master) but someone who CAN be that on occasion, but also has moments of the opposite. Most men I have met in the aforementioned were sexual brutes, and while that's great for a rapist, it's too narrow-minded to what I am interested in. So you have a bad day at work, you come home, you snap, you vent. It doesn't have to happen every time we see each other, in fact, I enjoyed the suspense of never knowing when the abuse was coming greatly in previous trials... the problem is, and I recognise it now, is that there is a rather gray area between "real" feelings and those that are played out like virtual erotica. It's hard NOT to feel something as abuser or the abused, and it's easier for some just to strike once and get their quick fix and walk away...

 

Previous rapists have never really had issues with yelling, beating, or even threatening to kill my character in a role playing environment. But as stated previously, these attacks are one-offs, purpetrated by avatars I never (or raley) see again. He's a stranger. The fear is piqued, then once the attack is over, he goes, and life continues on as normal as though it didn't happen. There's little fulfilment in a one-off attack. I felt more aroused when familiar faces returned, and I knew I was in for more abuse. That APPREHENSION was erotic, and the attack itself a bonus. Having said all that, I'm not interested in Gor (at this point), or being held in a cage or chains etc for someone's amusement. I like living my virtual life as 'normal' as possible. I have prim babies and a child avatar daughter (role played by a woman actually older than me in real life!) -  I like my "normal" family life, and I like my abusers to be less in-your-face monsters, and more cunning, discreet, even charming. The guy next door hiding a dark sadistic nature.

 

My fondest experiences in the realm of abuse came from an attacker who knocked on the door of my avatar's then suburban house and posed as a political candidate or the like, completely catching me off guard. After several minutes talking politics he lunged at and attacked me, and the experience of being so shocked heightened my arousal. It was amazing. He had seemed so charming and polite; he wasn't musclebound or stereotypically savage-looking, he actually did strangely personify the skinny quiet guy next door. That particular attack stayed with me fondly. I compared that to others that followed. Another attacker threatened to return and did so. Each time he arrived he was different. The apprehension of never knowing his mood made his abuse that much "sweeter" dare I call it that. This attacker would swing between violent assaults to long slow love-making; I never knew what to expect from him, considering the first time we "met" he too was so helpful and charming that I never really suspected the animal beneath.

 

Rape here in SL is so prevalent. And the virtual rape is fun. The virtual dating while slow too can be fun. It would be too greedy of me to wish for some kind of happy medium between the two, done in a certain way/using a commonsense approach (if commonsense can be applied to wanting to be beaten/raped by potential love interest!) I'm not looking to be punished for a crime like murder (as implied in Punished wives club). I'm not looking for a hundred different rapists to attack me in broad daylight either. I am interested in finding someone that wants to in a "relationship" but who possesses a temper, a possessive mean streak, and isn't afraid to lash out at me for a bad day, a perceived insult, or just because you got out of the wrong side of bed. In short; I'm not looking for Mr perfect. I'm looking for Mr Not-so perfect, who can love and hate, caress and cause pain in similar intensities.

 

Now this brings up one more point that needs to be clarfified. In recent months I was involved with a man In-world who wanted to take the virtual relationship over into real life. I was naive initially and didn't expect to develop real feelings for him, but after posting with him daily, I did. I had wanted fantasy, and that fantasy started to bleed over into my real life. Now while we were too far apart geographically to "do" anything, it did trouble me to a degree. I expect as with any prolonged relationship real feelings will emerge, but I would like to stress now that I am really interested in the virtual (in-world) relationship. Anything beyond that would take careful consideration on both parties and is not the desired destination. I want to be loved and abused IN WORLD. I want a partner who keeps me guessing, who can fool my friends into thinking he's a nice guy, but has a dark other side, and a mean streak a hundred miles wide. Your real life is your own. I don't care what you do. Maybe we will simply strike up a friendship, and that too is fine. It's what happens IN WORLD that I most care care about.

 

I don't care if (in real life) you are a man or a woman behind the avatar. In fact, as I am a woman in real life, having another woman role play as a man may save the problem of feelings developing later down the track, but that too is over-generalizing. Most people may not understand what it is I seek, or think I'm sick, or looking to be raped or abused in real life. Again, I am not. I want to "live" these experiences in-world, so when I log off I have the safety of reality. I am, and have always been, a writer; living in my imagination. I enjoy putting myself into characters, to empathize, to see through their eyes and suffer their highs and lows, but at the end of the day I know no matter what people say or do that life here is not real. Feelings and emotions are. I know the difference. I know (some of) the consequences. In the virtual world anything is possible. Why can't I (or shouldn't I be allowed to) find someone who wants to be bad WITH and TO me, amidst this endless possibility?

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Conaletta wrote:

It is also quite strange that someone roleplaying a rapist would shy away from beating you or yelling at you.

 

why?  A lot of rapes in rl are not violent, which is why there's a low reporting/conviction rate in some countries.  The myth that you have to be physically hurt during rape is a reason why a lot of women aren't believed.

 

don't believe the propaganda and dump that stereotype sharpish.

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