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Help, I continue to have this SL identity crises.


hahaha83
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I really just want to have fun on SL, meet people and explore new places.
However, it's not all peaches and cream. I was a child avi for a bit, and I have constantly been
dumped by parents who weren't ready for a kid. It seriously had a deep impact on me. I was pretty depressed.
(I've had roughly five SL parents, my longest one was great, but the family totally fell apart. Then I tried being an adult.
I found it hard, honestly I have no talent in scripting, fashion, hair making, or building whatsoever. so I went back to a child,then I went back to an adult, then a kid, then an adult.
Then I just feel depressed because I spent so much money making a great ago and then changing my mind.
and now I'm having yet another identity crisis; I want to be a guy avi.

Do you guys know how I can make up my mind? Has anybody else suffered from an "sl identity crisis?"
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This is why I have what I consider my 'main' avi, or rather, the first avi I made for myself. (well, the second but the first was gross so shhh) He's evolved over the years and has been updated to keep up with the times, but he stays more or less he same 'feel'. He's petite, white, freckled, and turning into a hipster.

I got bored of being only him so I made myself a female avi because fashion and I like to wear her around when I'm creeping new releases at stores I like. She also wanders fun sims because whatever. She's a good distraction when I'm bored. I also like to cross-dress her to see if I can get away with it.

After her, I made myself a big black guy because I felt it was time for a change again. He's pretty...hm...'street' but also has a touch of the hipster look about him from my main look. I think that travels over all my avis more or less on accident and also because my fashion sense is atrocious. But that works for hipsters? idk man

Then I was bored of being a human so in between these avis I had been literally piecing together a furry avi because why not. He's half faun, half house cat. He wears my main avi's clothes, for the most part. They are the same size, in any case.

Aside from those, I made a hispanic guy for photoshoots and I have some feral animal avatars like a fox and a tiny cat and a wyvern and I think a t-rex? Yeah.

 

Keep in mind all of these are under the same name. I have a lot of stuff. pfffft

 

Oh, and I was a teen for a hella long time, too. I understand about your broken families. It really sucks. I ended up growing up after the fourth failure and managed to find a place where I could afford my own spot of land and chill out.

You don't have to have a skill set to be an adult on SL. It helps to bring in lindens, sure, but it's not necessary if you are having trouble deciding. The same goes for children content creators. There's a lot of child avis who make and sell things. Those don't go hand in hand so much.

Luckily your username is very genderneutral, so you'll be able to have any gender of avi you want if you feel like it.

Hit me up in world if you'd like some help outfitting a male avi if you decide to make one! Also I can totally vouch for my land if you're interested in trying to live on your own to see how it is.

 

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I can relate, I have a building identity crisis.

I started small, and wanted to learn how to make Big things.

Then, when I could make big things, I wanted to focus on detail.

When I could create detail, it wasn't intricate enough, so, I started making builds with Tiny prims.

Then, I wanted to make something very big, using tiny prims.

I had the Low prim cycle, the High prim cycle, the Building to Scale phase. If complication could be created; I was set on making it.

Over the past week, I've made a house, another space craft (not sure where I'm going with that), another memorial type build (monument).

I decided, that I'm not going to decide right now. I will keep making things, and sort it out later.

 

If you're learning, you should continue the journey.

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There is no secret to it, and no  one can really tell you how to to decide.  Try various things until you feel comfortable is my advice.

SInce the average relationship lasts approximately 3 months in SL, it is not surprising that you have gone through so many 'families'.  If you like being a part of a stable family, try to find one that isn't dependent on a single couple.  There are many large family groups in SL like this,  You don't even have to be a child to belong to them.

You don't have to build, script or create to be an adult in SL.  Most adults don't actually.  They come to relax and socialize.

As far as gender, its up to you.  My only opinion on this is that if you are going to get into a relationship with someone that is more than friendship make sure the other person views it as roleplay and be sure that they understand it is strictly roleplay for you.  If the other person is not into roleplay it is only fair to reveal your RL sex to them. Not only is it the decent thing to do , but if the person is looking for a man, it will avoid a lot of drama and heartache when they find out, which they will eventually.

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Thank you to people who have been responding- it's lifted a ton off my shoulders.

 

I suppose I should rephrase my "building, scripting, EcT" statement, I guess it's just my own laziness that is making me complain about not being able to build or script.

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I feel for you, I honestly do :/   I have a family member in world who kind of sounds like they may be going through something real similar. - Kid, adult, kid again, adult again, wants to quit.......

I wish I knew the answer to "how to be a happy kid avatar" .  Its been hard watching her go through this. I  dont know that answer though. So really all I can go to is Klistie's advice regarding having a "main". A main character is awesome become it "grounds" you. Its your base. The "home position" if you will.

Other avs you might make fill needs that are "situational" and typically have an entirely different physical descriptor attached. I say that last bit so that you are mindful that the av isn't just cuz "things got hot" on another character and you wanted to run off from "x" situaltion. No, it would be that the known identity of the main (as a man, as an adult, as a black person....something like that) could not POSSIBLY also "be" this new character. ie.  I need a girl character for this; I need to be Asian; I'm going to be a teenager. If a situational av's situation falls apart (the parents divorce, whatever) you have the option to find a new situation OR sit the entire character to the side for another time.

Your basic you , main character, is still there. Unmarred and unmixed up  in what happens with the situational avi. You can go home. All you have to do is make sure "home" is always created around and about you not the comings and goings of others. -Don't poop where you eat.

Anyway, its my .02 and input on the concept of a main .

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My advice is don't build your entire SL around others, because people will come and go all the time for all kinds of reasons. If you enjoy being a kid avatar, then be a kid avatar. You don't necessarily need parents do you? Maybe find friends who will be more of a parental figure, than a formal adoption situation. Try making more friends with other kid avies.

It's your SL, it's perfectly okay to explore your options, so don't be too hard on yourself because you haven't decided who you want to be in this world.

I agree with what a couple of others said, maybe just make a separate avatar for your male avi, and give it a try. If you don't like it...try something else. You can be whoever you want to be in SL, that's the best thing about it. Best of luck to you, whatever you decide :)

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Bree Giffen wrote:

Why not split yourself into two? or three? Three avatars. One child. One adult female. One adult male. That way you can be any of the three or you can be them all at once.

Very true.  Although I am on my main avatar 99.99% of the time, for rp and fun in the past I made an elven avatar and a Japanese avatar (a minarai in training to become a geisha).  I also have an advertising alt for my business (created when the group cap was 25).  I still have all of them and, if nothing else, use them to backup my builds and to hold transfer inventory I rarely use.

 

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Tracy Redangel wrote:

My advice is don't build your entire SL around others, because people will come and go all the time for all kinds of reasons. If you enjoy being a kid avatar, then be a kid avatar. You don't necessarily need parents do you? Maybe find friends who will be more of a parental figure, than a formal adoption situation. Try making more friends with other kid avies.


Based on what I read on the old forums there is, or at least was, an established group of child avatars.  I don't use "group" in the sense of a SL group or a family.  A well-known, long-time SL resident and child avatar is Marianne McCann.  If the OP is still reading, perhaps contacting her would be an idea.  She could very likely put you in touch with other child avatars.

 

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hahaha83 wrote:

I really just want to have fun on SL, meet people and explore new places.

However, it's not all peaches and cream. I was a child avi for a bit, and I have constantly been

dumped by parents who weren't ready for a kid. It seriously had a deep impact on me. I was pretty depressed.

(I've had roughly five SL parents, my longest one was great, but the family totally fell apart. Then I tried being an adult.

I found it hard, honestly I have no talent in scripting, fashion, hair making, or building whatsoever. so I went back to a child,then I went back to an adult, then a kid, then an adult.

Then I just feel depressed because I spent so much money making a great ago and then changing my mind.

and now I'm having yet another identity crisis; I want to be a guy avi.

 

Do you guys know how I can make up my mind? Has anybody else suffered from an "sl identity crisis?"


If all that stuff has such a negative effect on you - maybe sl simply is not for you.

I know I would not play a game that gives me depression.

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[Replying to OP... I'm still getting used to this message board, haha]

Ever thought about trying an animal or anthro avatar?

I personally find the separation from RL social norms satisfying.

And if you enjoy playing in the context of a child, playing as a small, cute animal has a lot of similar dynamics.

Example: https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/Tokushi-Blue-Tiny-Fox/3103740

But yeah, I changed avatars a lot when I started SL until I found something I was happy with. And you could always have multiple avatars to fit your mood.

Feel free to drop me an IM if you need any help finding stuff or building/editing too!

Good luck finding something that feels right. :)

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Having fun, meeting people and exploring new places can be done in form of a kid avi, adult one or you can be a tree that stands next to the landing point of some busy sandbox and says boo to every person that lands there. 

I have identity crisis every day and I LOVE every one of them. There's nothing bad about it, or there is, if you look only at the bad side. Where do you look? Why do you say you were dumped? Are you a bad person? Boring one? Can you stay alone for half an hour and not cry because noone wants to hang out with you? Do you love yourself? 

If you want to play a kid avi, play it because you like to be a kid, not because you expect some nice family will adopt you. Learn to make yourself happy and others will make you happy too. Good luck:)

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My avi has evolved exponentially over my 2 years, and recently I took the massive leap of faith of changing from my previous human avi to a demoness, complete with claws, wings and horns. I love the responses it gets sometimes. I still weave in and out of my human avi from time to time.. I kind of consider them both as equal halves of my Second Life.

My point: Who says that you need to have only the one regular 'identity'? To this day I don't have any idea of what possessed me (no pun intended) to become a demon but I don't regret it in the slightest. Just go with what feels right.

 

Edit: Removed stupidity.

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hahaha83 wrote:

I really just want to have fun on SL, meet people and explore new places.

However, it's not all peaches and cream. I was a child avi for a bit, and I have constantly been

dumped by parents who weren't ready for a kid. It seriously had a deep impact on me. I was pretty depressed.

(I've had roughly five SL parents, my longest one was great, but the family totally fell apart. Then I tried being an adult.

I found it hard, honestly I have no talent in scripting, fashion, hair making, or building whatsoever. so I went back to a child,then I went back to an adult, then a kid, then an adult.

Then I just feel depressed because I spent so much money making a great ago and then changing my mind.

and now I'm having yet another identity crisis; I want to be a guy avi.

 

Do you guys know how I can make up my mind? Has anybody else suffered from an "sl identity crisis?"


Have you considered therapy?

...Dres

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