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Princess Gata

kids vs kiddy haters

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Ya know, I wanted to talk being a SL Kid. The reason I wanted to bring this up is I just got bullied out of a family by a kiddy hater. They seem to think we are all there for sex thrils and how we're flaming freaks of nature, but we're not, we just are roleplaying differently to them. Wouldn't it be good if SL could take action on haters and hate crime people? Those who push others off the land just because they can. There's got to be enough outcasted and discriminated against players on sl (without the kids who just are there for sex thrills). Anyway, I for one am really quite angry.

Please comment if you can be at all helpful.

 

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Hello, Princess

It's really not good to post when feeling angry, although I understand fully why you would be angry. It's a very negative experience.

Everyone seems to judge someone else, just because they're choosing to look or to act differently than them.  That's human nature.

When bullied, best to try and stay calm, stand your ground firmly, don't answer back, let them blow themselves out. (If I think of a better way of phrasing this I'll come back and amend this).

And just know, haters are in the minority anyway.  Take comfort from knowing you have good and true friends, and this kid-hating bully really does not matter.

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Who exactly would determine who is a "hater" and what kind of test would they use? How much time would this take? How many employees would need to be hired?  Would there be a court so both sides would get to testify?

 

No it would not be good. 

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your right, I shouldn't post when angry or upset, yeah I get that. But don't you think sometimes the problem should be addressed?

 

And a hater, someone who launches a hate crime or attack to scare off another without provokement from there victim.

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"Hate crime"?  That's a hot button buzz word in today's world.  People toss that word around as if it hold validity for what their present beef is all about.  Is it a "hate crime" if something makse someone uncomfortable and that someone does something to relieve that discomfort?  It's not always what you think it is.  I happen to be one of those who are uncomfortable when child avatars are around.  I stick to mature rated areas or above just to help that discomfort of knowing that 16 year olds are legally on the grid now.........it's a self preservation thing since all it takes is someone making an accusation and bringing in some RL legal issue.  I don't necessarily think all child avatars are manned by children..........but the odds are very great that, at least, some of them are manned by 16 and 17 year olds.  I don't want to deal with that so I avoid situations where I feel I have to deal with it...........I'll ban a child avatar from my land if I'm uncomfortable with it.  And it won't be because of hate.  Just because someone does something you don't like does not make that person a hater. 

Hate crime.........jeeze what a useless term.  You're guilty of a hate crime because you don't like Hip Hop music. 

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I fully agree with you. Although i have no experience being a kid myself (lol, in SL that is), i've seen many times SL children being insulted by complete random bypassers, saying they are RL pedofiles! How dare these people assume that everyone else has such dirty sex-minds as themselves?! What about the people who long for a family or the love of a mother, without having sex on their mind?! We don't know anything about people's individual reasons for wanting to roleplay being a child in SL. Even as a bystander, it leaves you completely frustrated. But i totally agree with Echo, there will always be negative people and experiences and the best thing to do is ignore those people and don't give them any fuel or platform to release their narrow-minded crap on!

And to comment on the "hater" topic, those people are called "griefers". Copied from the SL Wiki: "A griefer is a name for a Second Life Resident who harasses other residents. See the "Griefer" article on Wikipedia for more information on this topic. Griefing is a violation of the Second Life Terms of Service.". So i guess LL would determine who this is and who is not. Don't think we have to worry about how many employees they hire for that, i'm happy they want to make sure SL remains a peaceful and open-minded world for everyone, without griefers!

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Life is one big test, for all of us.  And in this life most of us will come across someone who is irrational about, or has strong views against an individual or group of people. 

If it is just words, though, you have to remember that childhood poem of:

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but calling does not hurt me."

If, as a child avatar, someone tries to instigate inappropriate situations with you, you can submit an abuse report to Linden Lab.  If someone undermines their servers, or causes your viewer to crash with some kind of tool designed to 'grief' you - child avatar or not - Linden Lab will take action against this type of person. But verbal abuse tends to be treated like schoolyard scraps, and we just have to mute/block move on.

Now, in your case, you say you got bullied out of a family.  How much influence did this kiddy hater have with the family then?  Or were the whole family run off the land?

I still truly believe you should not be posting while you are so angry and emotional.  It is understandable you want them to be stopped, but you have to do what you can for yourself, and let these emotionally stunted morons who choose to bully anyone - be they child avatar, redhead, Gorean, furry - to have their little corner of the world.  They are unhappy individuals in real life, and not worthy of your anger or sadness.

Now, regarding the other members of your family.  Are they good people?  Will they be in touch with you?  Or do you have to start all over again finding new family?  I do not need responses to these questions, I just want you to realise that the griefers and haters are in the minority, really they are, and you have the right to be who and what you want to be in our virtual world. 

Linden Lab do take action against racists and bullies - where it's appropriate - as I say, though, if it appears to be just schoolyard name calling and tip taps, we just have to block/mute and move on.

Tomorrow is another day, and will be brighter and more full of rainbows hopefully for you.

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I have played a child avatar in one account or another for a really long time and never really found anyone who would give me such a hard time over it, never been bullied, never been greifed. It could very well be the fact that I never put myself in situations to be "hated on". It could also be that I believe in the saying "live and let live". I care not one bit if anyone says anything hateful to me because they are insignificant to me and I don't let it bother me. If the family you were with pushed you out because of the beliefs of one person then you should be glad, good riddance. Find yourself another family and move on. Life is too short to dwell on petty things like this.

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Depending on how bad the abuse was, you probably can't expect that only one abuse report against a person will have much effect. But if there were more reports in the past, or will be in the future, then LL will certainly take action. I checked the SL Community Standards and copied the information which is relevant to your case:

 

Community Standards
The goals of the Community Standards are simple: treat each other with respect and without harassment, adhere to local standards as indicated by simulator ratings, and refrain from any hate activity which slurs a real-world individual or real-world community.

Reporting Abuse
Residents should report violations of the Community Standards using the Abuse Reporter tool located under the Help menu in the in-world tool bar. We review these abuse reports, and the identity of the reporter is kept strictly confidential.

Behavioral Guidelines - The 'Big Six'
Within Second Life, we want to support Residents in shaping their specific experiences and making their own choices. The Community Standards sets out six behaviors, the 'Big Six', that will result in suspension or, with repeated violations, expulsion from the Second Life Community. All Second Life Community Standards apply to all areas of Second Life, the Second Life Forums, and the Second Life Website.

Intolerance: Combating intolerance is a cornerstone of Second Life's Community Standards. Actions that marginalize, belittle, or defame individuals or groups inhibit the satisfying exchange of ideas and diminish the Second Life community as a whole. The use of derogatory or demeaning language or images in reference to another Resident's race, ethnicity, gender, religion, or sexual orientation is never allowed in Second Life.

Harassment: Given the myriad capabilities of Second Life, harassment can take many forms. Communicating or behaving in a manner which is offensively coarse, intimidating or threatening, constitutes unwelcome sexual advances or requests for sexual favors, or is otherwise likely to cause annoyance or alarm is Harassment.

Assault: (left out as not relevant)

Disclosure: (left out as not relevant)

Adult Regions, Groups, and Listings: (left out as not relevant)

Disturbing the Peace: (left out as not relevant)

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Hey Princess Gata. Sorry to hear you got bullied. I'm letting you know I support SL Kids on here. I enjoy talking to them and just treating them like actual kids. 

I do think folks need to respect roles people wish to play on here. Wether it is being a kid, furry, or whatever. 

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if you play a child avatar in an adult sim, that's a massive red flag and most sim owners will kick you out because it's extremely risky for them to allow you to stay there.
Even if being or allowing access to a child avatar isn't explicitly prohibited in adult sims under the TOS, the risk of that avatar getting involved in (passively or actively) sexually charged conduct is high, and that IS a TOS violation which can get the sim owner banned and his sim closed down.

As a child avatar therefore, best stick to PG sims and maybe some M rated sims (though there too things can happen that would be a TOS violation if you got involved).

I've had that happen myself, someone threatening to file an AR against me for "lewd behaviour in the vicinity of a child avatar", when neither was my behaviour inappropriate nor was the avatar a child avatar.
In my experience and that  that happens far more often, and not just threats either, so I can fully understand sim owners being extremely careful (often far in excess to what the letter of the TOS requires).

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Gotta agree with you there, labeling people as 'haters' is a silencing tactic.

Maybe some people deserved to be silenced, but some don't.  Some have valid opinions. I would much rather judge matters on the arguments than on the lables people are given. It really is unhelpful.

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People can be mean to SL children or get the wrong idea. Unfortunately there are some children who are played by people without good intentions and some people think a few bad apples spoil the bunch.  Myself I know I am an adult with a normal rl and only play a child for nostaligia and fun.


There are plenty of child friendly places you can go and tons of family sims. I stay away from places I know I won't be welcome.  I own land near my favorite place in all of SL: Magicland. I have my mom and my little siblings (zooby babies) in somersley where I spend a ton of time.  Some people are not going to like kids and are uncomfortable for whatever reason.  Go places where you are welcome and where it is ok to be a kid.  As far as family, it can take awhile to find the right one. I had one adoption trial with a mom that lived in an adult sim where the only place I could have gone was her skybox. I liked her but it never would have been a good fit for me.

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Sorry you got Harassed but you do have some in sl that do judge others on looks..  Either you be a Kid,Furry,Vampire,Elf or a Neko you have some that will Deny you on anything if you aren't tall.. Just like some people Judge Furries or other non humans.. Won't let them work in some clubs or be on some Sims that non human is Probably a better worker anyways.. So just stick with it and file a report if need be.. And just stay away from those who treat you differently .. Good luck in your future endeavors in sl :D

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Reading the OPs comment that she was removed from the parcel doesnt sound like bullying to me. Sounds like someone wanted her gone and had the authority to remove her. My experience with child avatars has not been positive. As a merchant I prohibit child avatars in my store because of the many adult animations. Usually when informed of this policy they respond with a very unchildlike verbal abuse. so much for role playing a 5 year old huh. And after watching very young kids sampling the sex positions on beds, that was it, no more kids in my store.If you play a child, act like one.

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yup, many think that if they look like a child they can behave irresponsibly and nobody will be able to prevent them. Then, when called out, they throw a tantrum and get abusive, suddenly behaving more like spoiled teen brats who've no respect for other people or their property.

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I think child avis who insist on going to adult areas and doing adult things give the rest of us bad names.  I don't understand why they do it.  If I wanted to go to an adult area I'd make an adult avi.  Seems easy to me.

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I think child avis who insist on going to adult areas and doing adult things give the rest of us bad names.  I don't understand why they do it.  If I wanted to go to an adult area I'd make an adult avi.  Seems easy to me.

-------------------------------------------------

My thoughts exactly.  And it is easy..........so easy that it's quite obvious that the reason those who choose not to put on an adult avatar is that they simply want to "be offended" or "discriminated" against so that they can call foul and be the "poor litle child avatar that is so abused in SL". 

I have not sympathy.......none.  Zero, Nada.  Be a child in SL if you want (and I support that choice........even if it's not a choice I would make) but you know the rules.......play by them and have fun.  You'll find your child life experience much more enjoyable for both you and everyone around you.

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starladustangel wrote:

I think child avis who insist on going to adult areas and doing adult things give the rest of us bad names.  I don't understand why they do it.  If I wanted to go to an adult area I'd make an adult avi.  Seems easy to me.

I totally agree.

We're all allowed to (officially) have up to five avatars per household, so it seems sensible to have child avatars and avatars as separate entities. 

And Peggy is right, when people are choosing to be child avatars, to immerse fully in a childhood role can be a great experience, but I fail to see the pleasure people are getting when they are, in effect, putting a target on their own backs when they live part time in SL as adult avs and part-time as child avs, and yet have a non-PG profile. 

Now that a few days has passed since this thread was started, I hope the OP has found some peace and moved on from her negative experience. 

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I avoid kid avatars - completely and totally. I don't grief them, name call, bully - none of that stuff. I simply choose to have zero interaction with them. If they come to a club or venue where I am and plan to stay, I mute them and derender them. 

Part of the reason I come to SL is to get AWAY from kids. I don't want to see them here, nor do I care to hear their badly butchered and overly annoying 'kiddie speak'. Adults in RL really don't strike up conversations and friendships with kids so why would you expect them to here? And the ones that do usually do have ulterior motives so why wouldn't you expect them to here? 

If that's who you wanna be and what you wanna do - it's absolutely your right and you should be able to. While I won't be hateful to anyone who chooses this route in SL, I won't have anything to do with them, either. 

 

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A private sim owner has every right to ban whomever they want, whether you're a kid avi, furry, or have red hair. There's not much you can do about it. If someone verbally harrasses you, the best you can do is file an abuse report against them.

Child avatars tow a tenuous line because a lot of people simply don't understand/like child avatars. I personally feel those who abuse having a child avatars (like going to an adult sim, trying out sex furniture, or otherwise acting un-childlike) are probably only a handful. Most people who roleplay as children, or adults who adopt children simply want a family roleplay experience in SL. I know a few people who really enjoy that because they can't have children in real life, so the only way they can experience having a family is through SL. I don't think it should be up to anyone to deny those folks that opportunity.

At the same time, I do support private sim owner's right to ban child avatars from mature or adult regions. There are plenty of general or family themed areas for child avatars and their families to go/hangout in. If you're on a kid avi, you really have no business hanging out in a BDSM club anyway.

 

 

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I don't get why some here come up with topics such as child avatars on adult sims, child avatars using adultanimations or child avatars getting banned from some sim owner for whatever reason. Princess only wrote she got bullied out of a family and that doesn't indicate that she was anywhere were she shouldn't go and even if that was the case, bulling isn't ok either.

So....I don't really get why the topic is flying into that direction, Princess seems to know pretty well that adult content isn't for child avatars?

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I know this is a very old post I'm replying to and that chances are good Peggy isn't even reading this anymore but I'd like to reply to this idea that minors are sneaking onto sl and using child avatars. Here's the thing about kids...they always want to grow up. They want independence. They want to get away with things and be treated like adults. As equals.

     So, it really doesn't make much sense for kids to sneak on sl.. just to be kids. Especially for a kid to sneak on sl to be a younger kid....what would be the point? Sure there might be a rare teen who'd like to go back to babytalk and binkys but I'd say the odds are far less than one making an adult avatar. I have, over my years on Sl found out about 6-7 minors. In most cases I found out from them AFTER they turned 18. In one case one confessed to a friend and was reported. All of them were using adult avatars. Not one of them was wandering around in a frilly knee-length dress with a binky in their mouth saying "I loves mine mommy so much!!" while shopping for toys in a kid's mall. Just saying...

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