Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Cadeon Bayn

Polygamy & Polyandry - Taboo?

Recommended Posts


Now, for my true purpose of posting this... What are your own opinions on Polygamy and Polyandry? Taboo for you or not?

Well I guess it is a culture thing .. not living on the right continent for that ;p

I can only comment on the whole cheating thing .. if .. noone gets pregnant, catches anything or falls in love while doing so .. and well never tells, I guess it's alright

 

<3

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have no problems with polygamy in second life because in the virtual world polygamy is closer to the idealized idea of polygamy where the marriage is equal among all members. In the real word, polygamy is more about the subjugation of women by a single man where abuse and child brides are normal. In the virtual world, there are no real children and you can't subjugate anyone because people can just mute and go play in another region. If polygamy does exist in SL, it would be made up entirely of consenting adults.

It's not my personal cup of tea but if someone said they were a polygamist in SL I wouldn't think any less of them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First, there are very few taboos in SL, given that by definition a taboo is something that is against the basic rules of a society. The 'society' that is Second Life is possibly the single most tolerant society in history, but that's a topic for another place. In any case, no: neither polygamy nor polyandry are taboo.

Second, you vastly understimate the intelligence and sophistication of that society if you really believe more than a handful of us don't know the difference between polyandrous/polygamous connections and someone cheating in a presumed monogamous relationship.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Cadeon Bayn wrote:

Taboo for you or not?

Are you conducting a survey to find out how many of us our polygamists?

 


Polygamy: Out in the open, all partners are consenting. Nothing kinky, but instead individual relationships with these different women (or men if you practice Polyandry).

Nothing Kinky?  Sounds like you are imposing your moral definitions on the terms.  By kinky are you meaning group sex never occurs?  Or that all sex is vanilla, behind closed doors, with the lights out and only the missionary position is allowed?  And what if everyone in the 'group' is bisexual? 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Cadeon Bayn wrote:


Well I guess it is a culture thing .. not living on the right continent for that ;p

I can only comment on the whole cheating thing .. if .. noone gets pregnant, catches anything or falls in love while doing so .. and well never tells, I guess it's alright

Tsk tsk Betty. Lol. I have to disagree. In my eyes, cheating is cheating no matter who knows. However, thanks for your opinion. Glad you were able to share.

 

I have no problems with polygamy in second life because in the virtual world polygamy is closer to the idealized idea of polygamy where the marriage is equal among all members. In the real word, polygamy is more about the subjugation of women by a single man where abuse and child brides are normal. In the virtual world, there are no real children and you can't subjugate anyone because people can just mute and go play in another region. If polygamy does exist in SL, it would be made up entirely of consenting adults.


Ouch. While I can see what you're saying about SL's version of polygamy being somewhat inaccurate, I don't think true polygamists subjugate women. In my opinion if an adult female has willingly consented to marrying that person, in that form, it's not subjection. While there are underage brides out there (of all marriage types), I think the media puts that in the face of millions to put that stigma on polygamy. That's a huge problem, I agree. But that doesn't make it more important than an underage bride in a monogamous relationship or abuse in a monogamous relationship. What I'm saying is, abuse and underage marriage happens all over the world, not just or more so in polygamist relationships. It's just more publicized.

 

 

Second, you vastly understimate the intelligence and sophistication of that society if you really believe more than a
handful of us
don't know the difference between polyandrous/polygamous connections and someone cheating in a presumed monogamous relationship.


Surely this depends on the level of education & age of the females involved. The "Evil" media focusing on particular societies can't negate the scientifically proven disadvantages of the results of these types of behaviours?

Starting to see the clear reason behind such a strange survey now.  This would be much better in a language thread of those types of societies.

Good luck changing the whole world to your ways. \o_

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Cadeon Bayn wrote:


 

Polygamy: Out in the open, all partners are consenting. Nothing kinky, but instead individual relationships with these different women (or men if you practice Polyandry).

Nothing Kinky?  Sounds like you are imposing your moral definitions on the terms.  By kinky are you meaning group sex never occurs?  Or that all sex is vanilla, behind closed doors, with the lights out and only the missionary position is allowed?  And what if everyone in the 'group' is bisexual? 

 

 

 

Answer to your first question, no, I am not conducting a survey. I simply think it's an interesting topic to discuss.

As for my comment about "nothing kinky", it was simply in reference to what I was saying in the sense that polygamy isn't one big orgy, but separate, private intimate relationships with each "couple" in that marriage. If you like it on all fours, use toys, a little probing, ropes and leather, hey more power to you. Lol. Not saying that doesn't or couldn't happen in those private intimate relationships. That just wasn't the point I was trying to outline in my original post.

 

and you were wrong. A polygamous relation can include groupsex or other group activities involving 3 or more of those involved in the relation.

It also doesn't (as a lot of people seem to believe) have to be 1 man and a lot of women, with the man abusing them all and/or the women fighting each other to become "favourite wife".

That's the bigomous Christian/western social "mores" speaking again. Not saying it can't happen, but if it does the relation is not entered and maintained with consent by all those involved (which is typical in societies having arranged marriages, which rl is often the case in places with polygamous systems but doesn't have to, just in some societies women are often seen as chattel, property, and their wishes and needs are not taken into account when it comes to putting them in a harem or having 10 wives in 10 cities just so you can have sex everywhere without needing to pay a prostitute).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think true polygamists subjugate women. In my opinion if an adult female has willingly consented to marrying that person, in that form, it's not subjection. While there are underage brides out there (of all marriage types), I think the media puts that in the face of millions to put that stigma on polygamy. That's a huge problem, I agree. But that doesn't make it more important than an underage bride in a monogamous relationship or abuse in a monogamous relationship. What I'm saying is, abuse and underage marriage happens all over the world, not just or more so in polygamist relationships. It's just more publicized.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Bingo.

I support Polygyny in RL and practice it in SL.

Why don't I also practice it in RL? Only because I dont wish ANY marriage in RL at this time.

I don't think its "taboo" at all in sl. I think you will find a lot of ladies who will speak against it -particularly in the company of other ladies not wanting to be singled out and criticized. But I certainly wouldn't call it "taboo".

 

And I would not just think twice but 9times before having 10 wives just for the sake of having someone to have sex with. Thats a lot of headache to take on just for a travel convenience. Entirely too  many loose women to make that rational.

------------------------------------------------------------------also--------------------------------------------------------------------

"some societies women are often seen as chattel, property, and their wishes and needs are not taken into account"

 

I couldn't help plucking that line out of  jwenting's's post.

I'm one who does often view women as chattel, property, and their wishes and needs are not taken into account. BUT **grins** it goes back to that original phrase by Cadeon:

   I don't think true polygamists subjugate women. In my opinion if an adult female has willingly consented to marrying that person, in that form, it's not subjection.

...at least not nonconsensual subjugation.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The practise of polygamy are really an old practise designed for

- breeding, keep the lineage because the were a lot of males died due to war and diseases

- welfare of untended women and children

- money

 

Today it was more of :

- selfish reasons

- cultural brainwashing

- for showing off. Most men in SL who practised this are often love to announced it to everyone else

 

If the women are ok with these reasons.. yeah, go ahead.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here's hoping we can hear from more people without them feeling like they must be "showing off" before they can reply to someone having asked to hear from them.

Not that this was your intention but I surely can see where it could be the result.

Scenarios like that are often what makes people not come forward and perpetuates enough of an illusion that nobody could "possibly" be serious about such a thing to the point that a dialog or thread like this one dies before it really even moves forward.

It is in keeping with the sentiment and philosophy of "the many" today to decry anything but feminism and male sublimation. I get that. But where is the allowance for those who do NOT agree with that to voice their stand and not be negated or accused of "showing off" or in some other way invalidated in order to silence that stand?

You can. But its still there.

And honestly, looking at that first list :

- breeding, keep the lineage because the were a lot of males died due to war and diseases
- welfare of untended women and children
- money

With the ratio of males to females what it is in SL, I can see where it easily is then adaptable. Who knows, could just be my convos but I hear from a lot of females who are NOT looking to be in poly marriages however they ARE looking for male influence , care, presence and input in their created sl families. Families with excruciatingly low numbers of males, and the females (often single) becoming accutely aware at lack of male presence ,influence, even male control, specifically, over her children.

And even in a world of prim genitals , where everyone can have any that they like, the feeling is reported by some as "hollow" or unfulfilling to them to not have a male sire and father for even their cyber children.

So where is even the "valid list"  not applicable?

 

One  persons "cultuaral brainwashing" may be another  person's acceptance of the fact that there is a natural reason for both the presence and demeanor of a man.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For a mere man who boasted that he alone could provide the needs for more than woman is just that, boastful. That or you are looking at an SL relationship with high turn over rate. It become meaningless and your entire point become moot. Yours and Sinful's long explanantions are exactly the most subtle way to brainwash a woman's mind. I've known the religion and the culture that shall not be named on a personal level and at one time, close to intimate... Although it was allowed, it was not encouraged by their original leaders. This concept of polygamy were exploited down the course of history for be it political power or economic reasons. Today, the reasons why a woman willing to share her husband to another woman basically comes down to this:

1. She was made to believe that didn't have any other choice

2. SHe didn't know any better

THat is what these women considered as Acceptance.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Speaking about SL polygamy and polyandry....well, I see it as a endless spring of more drama for everyone around. People getting jealous on each other. Fighting for their part of the love-pie. Starting to feel uncomfortable, because things turn out the wrong way. Boundaries get hurt.....and at the end everyone is sad about the drama and moves away.


Thats how I see it. Good thing is: No real children get hurt in a virtual world drama.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Polygamy is a marriage consisting of more than two partners. There are two subsets:

- Polygyny is a marriage with one husband and multiple wives. SinfulPrince used the correct term.

- Polyandry is a marrage with one wife and multiple husbands.

I wouldn't say polygamy is a taboo to me, but I would not enter into a polygamous relationship. I think a polygamous relationship would be very difficult to manage. There are barely enough hours in the day for two people to properly care for one another and their family. How could anyone manage to do the same for multiple partners?

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Willow honey I've read enough of your post in forum to honestly appreciate your input. However I gotta say that while it is valid for you as an indivual to feel as you do , particularly if (it sounds like) you had some negative personal experiences, it just isn't true that those are the only reasons or the only women who participate in and indeed sometimes seek polygamous marriages.

Matter of fact it wasn't a week or so ago that I listened to woman youtube to the fact that it was HER who brought the idea to her previously monogamous husband , and that was the result of her INITIALLY feeling it was all just a sexual rouse to the benefit of the sexual appetities of men but subsequently changing her mind. And it was a mind she changed alone while solo looking into that concept.

What you say will apply to some. But will not apply to all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Maryanne Solo wrote:

You are confused about which culture you are talking to unfortunately.

The woman gave up her career for this?

Very funny.

Post the link ^^

Where is the word "career" in my post? And I don't care, nor am I confused, about anybody's culture.

Topic is nothing about cultures.

I said the woman initiated the interest in the couple and thats exactly what I mean.-Since it is the popular conception that all of this invariably stems from a male.

 

However the tube in reference is this one:

 

You can agree with her you can disagree , but she didn't get led by someone else . -THAT is what my post said.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


SinfulPrince
wrote:

Willow honey I've read enough of your post in forum to honestly appreciate your input. 

Thanks, but when I'm posting sometime it usually is for my own personal entertainment. If people are entertained by it then, yeah..
thanks
. However,
it
also not within my interest to force someone into believing what I believed in. The only reason because I do not think it is fair for men to speak on behalf of us women thinking that WE think it is OK to share. 

Matter of fact it wasn't a week or so ago that I listened to woman
youtube
to the fact that it was HER who brought the idea to her previously monogamous husband , and that was the result of her INITIALLY feeling it was all just a sexual rouse to the benefit of the sexual
appetities
of men but subsequently changing her mind. And it was a mind she changed alone while solo looking into that concept.

I told my father once that I prefer not to be married and will rather just pay a random healthy guy to impregnate me with his baby and raised the child on my own. Radical? He thinks so..
in
fact when I told him about my opinion, he, the usual Alpha male in the family was lost for words. He thinks it was absurd...
not
culturally accepted. But then his moment of silence made me ponder myself as to why I had such idea. Basically it comes down to this,
I
lack of trust...
in
a man, in a marriage and in myself.

Do you think this woman in
youtube
 wanted polygamy because it will make her happy? Many...
many
women in polygamous marriages that I've encountered had unnatural reasons why they wanted to 'share'. Where you see her as someone adventurous and strong, I see her as someone who has been defeated, surrender and resigned to the fact that anything is better than being alone completely. Ask any educated, well travelled, well read, well
socialised
, financially independent sexy and young single woman if she would want to marry a middle aged man with 3 wives and 7 kids? What do you think her answer will be? The same woman in that
youtube
, if she was given another choice of a loving, rich, stable, mature and handsome single man that met her every
expectations
, do you really think she's going to stay with her current partner? My point is, it is not a natural instinct to share...
Sharing
needed to be learnt..
sometimes
this is taught in a positive and stable environment, sometimes this is exploited and enforced upon the
physically
weak gender into believing that life without a man is futile so therefore share if you have to. 

What you say will apply to some. But will not apply to all.

Let me rephrase that, What you say will apply to MOST. But will not apply to few.
 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow,


Willow Danube wrote:

 The only reason because I do not think it is fair for men to speak on behalf of us women thinking that WE think it is OK to share. 

I dont see the relevance between "I appreciate your input" and this? One person appreciates the other , and the individual blasts back about not wanting to be spoken for. But ok.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

I told my father once that I prefer not to be married and will rather just pay a random healthy guy to impregnate me with his baby and raised the child on my own. Radical? He thinks so..
in
fact when I told him about my opinion, he, the usual Alpha male in the family was lost for words. He thinks it was absurd...
not
culturally accepted. But then his moment of silence made me ponder myself as to why I had such idea. Basically it comes down to this,
I
lack of trust...
in
a man, in a marriage and in myself.

Do you think this woman in
youtube
 wanted polygamy because it will make her happy? Many...
many
women in polygamous marriages that I've encountered had unnatural reasons why they wanted to 'share'. Where you see her as someone adventurous and strong, I see her as someone who has been defeated, surrender and resigned to the fact that anything is better than being alone completely. Ask any educated, well travelled, well read, well
socialised
, financially independent sexy and young single woman if she would want to marry a middle aged man with 3 wives and 7 kids? What do you think her answer will be? The same woman in that
youtube
, if she was given another choice of a loving, rich, stable, mature and handsome single man that met her every
expectations
, do you really think she's going to stay with her current partner? My point is, it is not a natural instinct to share...
Sharing
needed to be learnt..
sometimes
this is taught in a positive and stable environment, sometimes this is exploited and enforced upon the
physically
weak gender into believing that life without a man is futile so therefore share if you have to. 

--

 

I'm amazed that you get that she thinks she'll lose her husband out of that. I didn't see anything like that with her and I watched both parts one and three of her story. I have to think that personal experience will color everything even remotely connected then. And while I like you personally, makes your view lack any objectivitiy for me if this womans choice cannot even be accepted as being her own even when seeing her her say it.

Nope, no reply on your life decisions, I didn't get in the topic to hash out other people's  choices as valid OR invalid for them. But to say that polygamy is valid for those that choose it.

People choose all kinds of things.

There are people in minorities who choose NOT to support affirmative action. Catholics who choose to have abortions.  Women who choose to also be misogynists and verbally call it that themselves
.

We can like their choices, we can dislike their choices, we can even decide whether they are "unnatural" (to use your word) from our personal viewpoint. But we should realize that its just that, our personal viewpoint.  And that they have a right to choose it. And that
they have a right to have their choice seen as their own when it is

We also ought to be willing to admit that they count too when tallying up who's here in this world.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Let me rephrase that, What you say will apply to MOST. But will not apply to few. 

Smh. For a person who's first paragraph in this very post, says she would appreciate somoene else not speaking for HER you sure don't have any problem doing it for someone else do you? But lets go there:

Most and a few are only relative when voting, and no one needs other people to vote their choice in life into being valid.

And I'll translate that myself so you don't have to.

The personal choices of any majority does not eliminate the 
freedom
of choosing something different for an individual.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...