Am I an SL Failure?

[Jazzy Bianco]

I have been a part of SL for over 2 years. I have tried to join a sorority-failed. I have tried to have a relationship-failed (he left SL). I have tried to model-failed (I don't know if the company is around anymore.) I have been pretty much a loner. No friends, no family. My time is spent visiting the different live music events, different clubs, sightseeing, exploring, shopping, etc. all alone. I have tried and tried to make friends and yet I fail. I join in on the conversation in local chat. I pm a person when I have a comment just for them. I really make an effort but it seems that everyone has their established family/friends and thats it for them. What am I doing wrong?? Should I just acknowledge that SL is not for me and leave?

I have thought about getting into rp but I have no idea where to begin or how that works. So thats a dead end.

[Sonja Smedley]

Hello...I would love to be your friend.

I am here now for about 2 years and tried different things.

But I also felt very lonely most of the time.

Just tell me when you are inworld and I will try to IM you.

Have a nice day.:0)

 

[Leia36]

If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change. John A. Simone, Sr.

*smiles* feel free to IM me.

[Aurelia Lionheart]

I read a lot of people having the same "problem". I don't know if it excists already but maybe you could start a group for kindred souls? Have a look in SL Search -> Groups or start your own, you could organise social get togethers, send out a notice for people to join you at the live music venues or to chat. Just an idea, maybe it helps.

Btw I don't think you are a failure! 
Good luck!

[SassyOne]

Hi Jazzy, I would suggest find the things you enjoy then go back regularly to the same venues, , after awhile ppl will recongnise the name and conversations will start. I think all go through this at same time. Good luck

[Venus Petrov]

If you like to visit clubs, why not work at one as a dancer or hostess or DJ???  I did just that...learned how to DJ in SL after I had been visiting a club several times.  Ambrosia Dance Club is always looking for staff.  Come fill out an application

[Maryanne Solo]

Tiny Empires is a good fun inworld game. Being a Vampire is also good fun. Live Music events are good places to make friends as well. Don't worry about losing your soul as a vampire because avatars dont actually have a pixel soul. This certainly raised my ire when I found out that soul count is what the game is based on lol.

Most games get boring after say 6 months or so especially when you realise they are linden hoovers to a certain extent.

Be aware that the majority of inworld games or solicitations/ads for venues are mostly profit oriented and you can make up your own mind about that type of thing.

You are not a failure by any means.

"Flashdancers" costs absolutely nothing and members flock to live music events dancing en masse which is really good fun and there is NO obligation to attend every event.

Highly recommended and lots of fun people in that group.

 

 

 

[Theresa Tennyson]

In over two years I'm sure you've learned a lot about getting around SL, maybe more than you realize.  From the tone of your post I'm betting you're saying, "I really don't know that much." Compared to someone just starting out, though, you DO.

 

New people join SL every day and need all sorts of help, and most of them come in here without having friends either. Try joining a group that helps new avatars or ask obvious newbies if they would like any help. At the least you'll be doing a good deed and maybe you'll meet some people you click with.

[Jazzy Bianco]

Thank you all so much for replying. You have each given me ideas to consider. I never thought I could possibly help someone else out or maybe start my own group.

I am usually inworld weekdays after 3pm slt, and anytime on the weekends.  Feel free to contact me!

Thanks again.!

[Jo Yardley]

"I have thought about getting into rp but I have no idea where to begin or how that works. So thats a dead end."

When you don't know how something works or where to begin, it's not a dead end, it is the opposite, it is the start of an adventure.

 

[Arielle Simondsen]

I just started a group for basically the same reason, its hard for me to meet people!  My post is here:  everyone is welcome! It would be so nice to have a group of friends in sl!

 

http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Make-Friends/An-Open-Invitation-to-all-the-amazing-women-in-sl/td-p/1657847

[Natasha Shoteka]

Great point

[JeanneAnne]

---

Jazzy Bianco wrote:

I have been a part of SL for over 2 years. I have tried to join a sorority-failed. I have tried to have a relationship-failed (he left SL). I have tried to model-failed (I don't know if the company is around anymore.) I have been pretty much a loner. No friends, no family. My time is spent visiting the different live music events, different clubs, sightseeing, exploring, shopping, etc. all alone. I have tried and tried to make friends and yet I fail. I join in on the conversation in local chat. I pm a person when I have a comment just for them. I really make an effort but it seems that everyone has their established family/friends and thats it for them. What am I doing wrong?? Should I just acknowledge that SL is not for me and leave?

I have thought about getting into rp but I have no idea where to begin or how that works. So thats a dead end.

---

oh Jazzy .. i dont think youre a failure .. in SL there is no fail .. i know what you mean about ppl being all into their friends & their thing & not having time for anything or anybody else .. but not every1 is like that .. iv had great times in SL .. exciting adventures .. emotional rollercoaster .. great fun ..... interspersed w/ long periods of boredom like you describe .. i hope you dont leave .. something fun is sure to turn up !!

Jeanne

 

[Seductive Dreamscape]

Please don't feel a failure! I want to invite you to Commune Utopia where many people gather at all times of the day and night for good conversation in a relaxed and happy environment. We have many events, discussions, parties, writing workshops, art and photography contests etc as well as places to just sit and hang out with friendly faces. <3 Peace and love, Sedi

[FairuzaB]

I can relate, I can't seem to make friends either.  I shop and explore alone all the time.  I'm not into night clubs but I enjoy live singers when I can find a good one.  If you need a shopping buddy, send me an IM! 

[JVart]

I visited Commune Utopia and no one was there. 

[snigletz]

I know this feel. I joined SL with a friend at the same time and she took off making hordes of friends throughout SL while i struggled to even make myself recognizable. 

i decided first on a solid look for myself and decided Neko fit my personality the best. Then i tried to make a unique profile that covered everything i'm looking for and what type of people i'm into. 

i'm by no means a SL pro... at all. I just stumble into interesting places and read other peoples profiles, find someone who says something that interests me, then i compliment their appearance or something in their profile. If they're interested conversation flows. If you're lucky you can meet someone who likes to introduce you to their friends and then their friends etc. 

Also, i made it a point to meet as many people as possible in one day that i had similarities with. Ended up having quite a nice time and made some awesome friends! These are just things i've learned in the almost month i've been here.

But i'll totes add you!! If you are down of course

[Julie Scharf]

Hey Jazzy! I'm SUPER late into this, but I feel a lot of the same way. All my friends left SL recently and I've been REALLY struggling to find a new place to fit. There's a live-events club I go to on Sundays, but the rest of the week I feel kinda lost if I go in world.

Good luck on finding a place where you belong, IM me if you ever need/want to talk to someone

[Jade Nova]

Eh don't feel bad. I have the same problem and I have been here for over four years.

I had a store for a while but I lost interest and went back to my main source of income (IMVU) for a while so I closed my store. Most of my friends on here are not active anymore. I typically have to ask people to log on if I want to do something, and most of the time they don't respond or just never get online. I always end up doing everything alone too and it kind of sucks when everyon else is shopping with their friends and I'm just kinda chilling in the corner, Lol. But I swear I'm not emo D; 

<--Metal chick!

Feel free to add me on SL if you're bored! I've been on every day for the past week and only once have I actually had someone to hang out with. ;o 

[Lynn Shiu]

If you consider yourself a SL failure, well... I'm worse. I've been around SL for about the same time as you have, two years. However, I just can't seem to overcome my shyness, not even in-world. I hardly say anything because I cannot imagine anyone being interested in my words. So I just kind of hang around, on my own, hoping someone will approach me. I know it's really stupid, but hey, maybe you'll feel less of a failure now. =)