is it wrong to say Hello to people in stores?

[LeeHere Absent]

Ya know, another thought occurred to me, and it's a sensitive subject, so let me see if I can tread lightly around it.  My personal experience of online life in general and virtual worlds in specific, includes meeting a lot of people who choose this life because they have issues that are...easier to manage...in a virtual world.  Lots of people with physical, mental, emotional, social challenges or disabilities or disorders.  Something as simple as a hello from a stranger might seem like nothing to you or me, but it can freeze some people, scare some people, confuse some people and, well, other reactions I may not know a whole lot about, but that are out there.  Sometimes people aren't being actively impolite or rude or offensive.  Sometimes people just don't have the wherewithal to respond the way we might expect them to respond.  Just a thought.

[Pamela Galli]

To be on the safe side, why not save the attempts to socialize and meet new friends for places that are for that purpose, like clubs or events?  Don't assume that everyone looking for a pair of shoes wants to socialize. 

 

It is a big mistake to assume that "Everyone thinks and feels like me" and then get insulted when they do not.

[Attica Bekkers]

I quite often wont notice someone saying hello for ages after it happened, even if Ims, even it is my best friend... Often I go back and say something, if I dont crash before I get to it and lose the name.

I think its fine to say hello, just the responses you might get will vary a lot. 

[Senobia Xenga]

SL is a cliquish place full of self-absorbed people. You'll do good and far better than most, if you can walk into a club and get a host to greet you. So if people who are being paid (via tips and such) to greet won't even bother, it's not bloody likely that others will either.

Yep, there are a million and one legit reasons (AFK, phone, work blah) that someone blows off a hello. But 9 times out of 10, it's piss poor people skills.

Keep saying hello and walk away with your head held high. More likely than not, they don't respond because their heads were too far up their own arses to notice the gesture.

And to the people who reply that they are exercising their right 'not to', I am exercising my right to form the above opinion of you, based on  your actions so no need for any backs and forths to that effect.

[Teagan Morningstar]

No, it's definitely not wrong to say "hello" to people when you're out and about! Just don't expect them to say anything back.

Truth be told, when I manage to get to a store, I try to say "hello" back if someone says it to me. Since I rarely pay attention to local, however, admittedly I am sure I have neglected to acknowledge someone who has said something to me. I'm not intentially being rude... honestly, I forget local even exists, and I'm usually IMing someone. Sometimes, in particularly laggy-type stores, I just run in, grab what I want, then get out.

Just don't take it personally. We were all raised differently, from different parts of the world, and one person's insult is another person's normal.

[Maryanne Solo]

I base my Hello's on the feeling you get from other Avis.

If they are obviously watching you for example and dont seem to be any kind threat I suppose.

Heavy stuff really :matte-motes-whistle: 

[Sassy Romano]

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Lycari Ghostraven wrote:

Just don't take it personally.

We were all raised differently, from different parts of the world, and one person's insult is another person's normal.

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Very true.  I'm on vacation and drivers will yield to let others in but i've yet to see one acknowledge this yet in my country, if someone doesn't acknowledge with a thank you, this is considered most rude.

Contrast, in my home country, I don't expect to be greeted in a shop and it's the exception if I am.

[SpiritSparrow Skydancer]

I think its more rude to make a negative comment about someone when you have no idea why they didnt respond.

[Melita Magic]

This is not unusual in Second Life.

But if you think about it...in real life, if you walked up to two people having an intense or animated (no pun intended, heh) conversation and said Hi, Hi, and got no response, would you be surprised? If you didn't know either of them beforehand, especially?

It is not "wrong" to say Hi to someone in a store in RL or in SL or most places. But, not everyone will respond.

Possible reasons besides "we are ignoring you" might be:

They mute everyone by habit in order to load the sim quicker

You were already on their mute list for some reason (woot-ing at a club, etc.)

They were too wrapped up in one another to notice

They never pay attention to local, possibly assuming no one will talk to them

That's pretty much it, I guess.

[Melita Magic]

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LeeHere Absent wrote:

Ya know, another thought occurred to me, and it's a sensitive subject, so let me see if I can tread lightly around it.  My personal experience of online life in general and virtual worlds in specific, includes meeting a lot of people who choose this life because they have issues that are...easier to manage...in a virtual world.  Lots of people with physical, mental, emotional, social challenges or disabilities or disorders.  Something as simple as a hello from a stranger might seem like nothing to you or me, but it can freeze some people, scare some people, confuse some people and, well, other reactions I may not know a whole lot about, but that are out there.  Sometimes people aren't being actively impolite or rude or offensive.  Sometimes people just don't have the wherewithal to respond the way we might expect them to respond.  Just a thought.

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Excellent point. Social anxiety disorder is a real thing. Many in SL could have this struggle, since SL is a place you don't have to see a face.  But their disorder might flare up if it's someone new, and an unknown factor. 

Sometimes people have only a few minutes in SL, and want to spend it solely on the task they set themself, whether that is shopping, or talking with a certain friend. Even without social anxiety disorder, they might 'fear' an unknown factor entering into that short amount of time. 

Some things people in SL tend to be afraid of before answering a random Hello:

Being hit on (can include very unwelcome lewd commentary) with or without being partnered, even

Getting 'stuck with' a person who needs assistance in SL or in the shop or in some way

Getting stalked/griefed (that can begin with a "Hi" as well)

Or simply having to stop what they are doing to entertain a stranger for a while.

In a kind and gentle world and assuming no struggles with anxiety or shyness, the stranger would drop what they are doing to talk with you, but the world isn't always kind or gentle. Or maybe they are having a bad or challenging day themselves.

It might not seem it but I am actually quite shy and I've learned to make myself be social when I don't always feel like it because usually the reward outweighs the risk. But it still feels like something I am not good at...Just to let you in on what they might've been feeling. With people I know, I am comfortable and there is no problem. I don't mind saying Hi, but sometimes I don't know what else to say.  

So try to not take it personally if you can. 

I also agree with those who said it could be cultural norms coming to bear. In urban areas in the U.S. at least, saying Hi will usually be regarded with suspicion. I used to anyway if I was a regular at a store etc., because that's how I was originally raised. (But with the workers,  rarely with other customers...the one time I did try to speak with another customer in a place, they took it SO wrong...Lol. I managed to stick my foot in it.)

 

[LeeHere Absent]

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Melita Magic wrote:

Excellent point.  

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Thank you.

[Kaidin Ulrik]

it's all time and place.. you were browsing yachts..... high chance of <points nose up> snobby finger pointers..... nothing wrong with saying hi ever... i do it all the time promoting and it fares pretty well actually, it's just where you are and what mindset another person is in.

in this case you were more than likely to get some arrogant **bleep** in saying hi in looking for a yacht!

[Kaidin Ulrik]

my main thing will be just look at different forums and see how people act from people just trying to find a topic to small talk on.... some people just can't look away and not say some hateful drama filled garbage

[Sadkiel]

Maybe they don't....