is it wrong to say Hello to people in stores?

[danicah]

Yesterday we were on a sim looking at yachts, and there was another couple. We said Hello but the lady completely ignored us. She just kept talking to her friend in local. I think thats rude.

Later we saw them again, we said Hi but no response. She just kept blabbing to her friend. My GF made a negative comment about her in local, and she was right there but she didn't react. But she did shut up after my GF said that. So i am sure she heard it.

Why are some people ignorant like that? All we did was saying hello, 3 times and we didn't even get a Hello back.

[wiked Anton]

I have come across this type sooooo often, sometimes there are reasons, like they are on their phones and dont see every text, and sometimes they are so emersed in their own world, that they think they are alone in the world...bit like real life come to think of it.

[Charolotte Caxton]

Did you say hello and her name, or just hello? She may not have realized you were saying hello to her. 

Also, saying hello back to a total stranger is not a requirement. Depending on where one is from, saying hello to a random stranger may be considered rude. SL is a global environment, even here in the states, going from big cities to small towns you will notice that there are vast differences in what is considered rude and what isn't, doesn't make anyone ignorant, just different.

Those are just some ideas, maybe she didn't like the way you looked and was being rude on purpose.

[Tamara Artis]

Usually is, if its a busy store do you go and say hello to every person you see?

 

[Solaria Goldshark]

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danicah wrote:

Why are some people ignorant like that? All we did was saying hello, 3 times and we didn't even get a Hello back.

---

I'm glad you said hello....keep doing that.  There are many reasons why someone won't answer.

What I find amazing is that you actually found another avatar in a store to even get the chance to talk to....either I'm shopping at all the wrong places or everyone is sitting at home shopping on MarketPlace.....OMG  did I just describe real life?

 

 

[danicah]

yeah well we did say Hello and her name. No if its a busy store then i dont say Hi to everyone, but if someone says Hi then i say Hi back.

Well maybe she was one of those people who dont like talking to strangers.

Its like "i dont know you, i dont talk to you".

Oh well, thats life i guess...

[SinfulPrince]

Personally, I would say 50/50;  didn't want to talk to someone she didn't know and possibly from a place where that is not the convention.

 

In rl I'm from a place where strangers  act like you killed  a puppy if they speak to you and you don't speak back. But the fact is I just ain't always feeling talking to people.

At what point do we take away  the person's right to not want to?

You can never know why someone does something. Maybe her "friend" was actually her lover and there was tension before you came along about her being approached/hit on.  Maybe you were ignored to keep the other person from being pissed.  You just never know.

[161488303349]

is not wrong to say Hi to strangers. no

if people not say Hi back then is ok that they dont really. dont worry about it if they dont. just keep saying Hi like you do and if they say Hi back then cool

[Raven1 Short]

I don't think it should ever be wrong to say hello to someone. I met my best friend in SL by him doing that. People should at least say it back out of  human decency. 

If someone says hello and you reply and then they keep talking but you aren't in the mood, then politely say so.

How else do people meet?

[Sassy Romano]

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danicah wrote:

Yesterday we were on a sim looking at yachts, and there was another couple. We said Hello but the lady completely ignored us. She just kept talking to her friend in local. I think thats rude.

---

Saying hello to me might get you ignored, not because i'm feeling rude but if i'm in a store, chances are very high that i'm camming all over the place and unless I have the chat window open, I just won't see the chat message.  That simple!

I do have "speech bubbles" enabled but my view is rarely of the back of my avatar head.  If it's important, IM me, if not please don't be offended that someone hasn't replied, just move on.

Expect nothing, then anything that happens is a thrill

[vickiadams]

In RL I live in the South where it is very common to say HI to strangers in stores, and they say Hi back.. Smiles are also common. I know from experience that is not common (but occassionally done) in the North.

On SL I appreciate a hello from a stranger. Sometimes a real conversation  will result. However, some things to remember about SL:

Unless you say the name (as in Hi Vicki), the other person will not necessarily know you are speaking to them.

Often, an avi is standing and looking normal, but the person in RL is talking on the phone, looking at another window (email, etc.) on the computer, or otherwise occupied and not watching the chat. So the person will appear to be ignoring you but there is a real reason. So don't consider it rude for someone to not respond.

[Nova Convair]

If someone says hi to me - I answer - and the things go into a direction i don't like i just mute. Zap and silent forever. So no risk to answer.

Since hi's are rare it's not even an annoyance.

The other thing is: I usually don't feel adressed by a simple hi and dont bother to find out who is adressed - a hi followed by my name is highlighted in my viewer so that I will surely see.

My observations are that often people don't think they need to be polite, but odten people forget that this is sl - the other person can do other things and sl has no full attention.

In case of noobs - for some reason 90% can't read or talk - only the rest seem to be normal human beeings. Overextended or just weird or I scare them? ... hmmm.

Well, you never know what's going on in certain situations.

[Czari Zenovka]

Due to having a smaller monitor, to save screen space I keep local chat minimized, which is to say I don't have a local chat window open unless I go someplace I expect to be greeted such as dance venues, special events, etc., therefore someone can speak to me in local and I never even see the chat if I'm not looking at the bottom of my screen at that precise time.

I may be standing at a store entrance and appear to be doing nothing, but I am actually camming around the store to locate what I'm looking for, thus also not paying attention to a brief flicker of chat in local that appears on my screen momentarily and disappears.

If someone wishes to speak to me, the best way is to IM as that produces the *ding* sound and my IM window pops up.  Of course doing that just to say hi with no other purpose tends to annoy many people; but if someone would like to ask a question, etc. that is the method that I am sure to notice.  I'm an avid profile reader and I have noticed on many profiles people stating that they rarely watch local chat so please IM to get their attention, so I'm apparently not alone in this.

Then thre are so many potential factors involved.  You said there was a couple and the lady ignored you.  Did the man/other person say hello?  When I'm out in SL with a guy, especially if it's a "relationship," I'm totally focused on that person.  As someone else mentioned, I may even be in voice with them.  There is no way to know if the person a) even saw your local chat  b) something was going on in IM, even with her chatting in local; in fact she could have been buried in IMs c) or just isn't the type of person who responds to "Hi."  (I see that a lot in profiles as well...getting a "hi," in IM with no other conversation really irks a lot of people.)  I don't know how long you've been in SL, but people who have been in SL for years have often been approached by new residents who ask for money, sex, you name it...lol...and have gotten to the point that they just ignore, if they even saw, a "hi." 

Getting back to the relationship angle, when I was partnered, we could be wearing our "tags" that indicated we were a couple, have it all over our profiles, be dancing someplace and women would still IM my partner to proposition him.  Had this happen in local chat right under my nose once.  My partner and I were in a maze during Halloween.  The corridors were very narrow and difficult to navigate with a lot of dead ends.  My partner told me to stay where I was and he'd check around the corner to see if that led anywhere as he had a faster PC.  As he turned the corner I heard a woman in local say, "Hey baby," and walked around to see my partner in another dead end against the wall and this woman standing right in front of him.  He didn't say anything and I was waiting to see if she said anything else.  Then she rezzed a yacht (I'm not kidding) in the maze and poofed, thus making it impossible for anyone to complete the maze.  This is just one example of many we experienced.  So, it's possible some couples feel it "safer" to avoid arguments back home, by not responding to people they don't know.   I'm not talking about people who ask for help, directions, where did you get that outfit, etc., but a "Hi" can mean all kinds of things...lol.

One final example - people often come into my store when I'm there working, arranging merchandise, etc.  I welcome each person and say if they need any assistance finding something or have any questions to please let me know.  I would say it's a 60/40 split - 60% of the people say hi, thank you, etc.; the other 40% say nothing.  I could take that as rude, but again, they may be like me, don't have their chat window open and possibly didn't see my comment.

Your post sounds like you were simply being friendly and greeting people as you would where you live.  As another poster said, so many different countries/cultures/customs are represented in SL.  In RL in large cities people don't go around saying hi randomly.  In small towns where people know each other, it's a different situation.  It's human nature to bring what one knows of how to interact with others, according to *their* RL experiences into SL.

Bottom line, I wouldn't immediately draw the conclusion the person was "ignorant."  If they *were* deliberately ignoring you for a jerky reason...there's lots of people in SL...don't worry about it.

 

[Maryanne Solo]

The trick is not to say hello but make a smiley ->

That way you haven't actually said anything so you can't feel bad if there's no reply.

It extends courtesy without obligation of reply.

The majority of people will reply with a smiley as well and that makes SL a better place for me.

Friendly people will expand upon the smiley with a "hello" and sometimes pleasent chats ensue.

[Drake1 Nightfire]

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danicah wrote:

Yesterday we were on a sim looking at yachts, and there was another couple. We said Hello but the lady completely ignored us. She just kept talking to her friend in local. I think thats rude.

Later we saw them again, we said Hi but no response. She just kept blabbing to her friend. My GF made a negative comment about her in local, and she was right there but she didn't react. But she did shut up after my GF said that. So i am sure she heard it.

Why are some people ignorant like that? All we did was saying hello, 3 times and we didn't even get a Hello back.

---

So, you went to a shop, saw a couple standing there immersed in conversation and decided to just dive in the middle of their conversation to say hello? And you think they are the rude ones?

And when they didn't comment on your rudeness, your lil friend made a nasty comment about her.. Wow. Some people are so full of themselves.

If you walked into a Walgreens in RL and saw a couple deep in conversation, would you walk over to them, interrupt them and say "HI?" If so, you are the rude one.

[mikka Luik]

Well, context is everything =^^= If I'm in a club then yes open to respond to even a fly by hi, thats what the place is for. Out shopping? Well, usually pretty much focussed on what I am looking for, especially with a partner. If its staff, then yes, even to say 'no we are fine thankyou', anyone else - I check profiles first before initiating or responding, so that has quite a bearing, although I also default to a smiley - fits most purposes.

The RL analogy is fun too - round here, a stranger on the street saying hi has my reaching for my purse to check I remembered my little equaliser =^^=

[Perrie Juran]

There is nothing wrong with saying hello.

I met my oldest dearest bestest friend in a store.

On the other hand, SL being SL, I am not surprised if someone does not reply.

It is as much Their World, Their Imagination as it is mine.

[Venus Petrov]

Do not let this experience get you down.  There are a myriad of reasons no one replied and perhaps none of them have to do with you.  It is friendly to greet others so do not stop being friendly.  That they did not reply does not mean *they* are not friendly.

[Charolotte Caxton]

When I foolishly told my friends that I was wanting to end my life, on a public forum, I know, foolish, you told them, on the same public forum, that I had private messaged you to say it was a hoax. You know as well as I do that I never private messaged you any such thing.

You have no right to come here and comment on what it means to be friendly.

[MoiselleErin Teardrop]

I have made a few friends just by starting a chat in stores or whatever.

I would say though if they respond, make sure and have a chat-starter. Just anything really. maybe ask if they have purchased clothes here before and how they actually work on the avatar...

 

If you don't talk to people or at least make an effort, how will you ever gain friends? True that most of them never last long but sometimes they do. You cannot know til you try. Oh and also yeah make sure the person knows you are addressing them.

 

On the other hand - sometimes people you cannot stand at first could end up being decent friends after a time. I had one such person, we would get into flaming contests at first. I hated this person but somehow we ended up burying the hatchet and now are quite cool. We are both kind of busy at our own things most days but when the twine meets, it is good times. This same person also taught me a lot about advanced building.

[Amethyst Jetaime]

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Drake1 Nightfire wrote:

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danicah wrote:

Yesterday we were on a sim looking at yachts, and there was another couple. We said Hello but the lady completely ignored us. She just kept talking to her friend in local. I think thats rude.

Later we saw them again, we said Hi but no response. She just kept blabbing to her friend. My GF made a negative comment about her in local, and she was right there but she didn't react. But she did shut up after my GF said that. So i am sure she heard it.

Why are some people ignorant like that? All we did was saying hello, 3 times and we didn't even get a Hello back.

---

So, you went to a shop, saw a couple standing there immersed in conversation and decided to just dive in the middle of their conversation to say hello? And you think they are the rude ones?

And when they didn't comment on your rudeness, your lil friend made a nasty comment about her.. Wow. Some people are so full of themselves.

If you walked into a Walgreens in RL and saw a couple deep in conversation, would you walk over to them, interrupt them and say "HI?" If so, you are the rude one.

---

 

Actually it depends on where you are.  Where I live if you when you pass you say hi or smile and nod to acknowledge they are there, otherwise you are considered rude. Its a response embeded early on as a child and you do it automatically. You don't expect any conversation back unless the person choose to and would be considered rude if you commented on that.

So you see, its a culture thing, and you would be considered rude if you were here.  The OP was probably not rude by her cultural standards, but I agree that there shouldn't have been snide comments made when they didn't get a response.

 

[Anita61 Anatine]

It depends really, if I'm in a store and there are more people around I won't reply to a general "Hallo". If I'm greeted personally  with a "Hello Anita", I'll say a friendly hello as well.

If I'm talking to a friend in local chat I tend to discard the lines by others so I won't reply to them and sometimes I'm concentrated on IM so I don't notice local chat at all.

You never know what the person behind the avatar is doing or watching, maybe they're multitasking ;-)

[TxPitou Byron]

Well Your message made me smile, simply because if your in a shopping mall or even a wallmart or what ever store in real life, and you where talking to someone and you had someone walk around you and say "HI" , chances are you would glance and ignore you, Second Life is Yes a great way to Meet people, is a store teh best p lace to do so , I rather doubt it, try a Club, an event, a location that have discussion, most people tend to be more relaxed and less "Real life guarded" at those areas, and less distracted by their "shopping" ...

 

cheers and good luck.

 

[Pamela Galli]

I have lived in the South most of my life, and I have never found it usual to walk around the store saying Hi to strangers, esp i they are talking to someone else. I will catch their eye and smile, yes, but I think most people where I have lived would consider it intrusive and strange if someone came up to them and said Hi, or anything else unrelated to the merchandise or shopping experience.  This is because most people do not go to stores to socialize -- they have a task to accomplish. I don't go to SL stores to socialize either, tho of course I will socialize in my own store since I am sort of the hostess.  I don't chase ppl down to say Hi, tho. 

 

 

[LeeHere Absent]

Like many people have said, there are a lot of possibilites as to what's going on.  One I haven't seen thrown out yet is that with local being a public area where people have conversations specific to two or more people, but not everyone in range, that some people develop the ability to, or habit of, scanning local chat solely for their name and the names of their friends and just focusing in on and reading those bits.  Otherwise, in busy areas, it's a bit of sensory overload and there's a risk of brain fry or retinal scarring or some such thing.  People use Second Life for a variety of reasons and in a variety of ways.  There is no expectation set that each resident interact with all the others.  So you are a friendly resident.  You say hi, you don't get a response, no harm no foul, you move on and say hello to someone else and maybe strike up a conversation, yes?  It's all good, right?  No sense borrowing trouble.  I'm sure you're not the type who seeks to be offended or find offense, but rather to find good times and good people.  So a lot more sense finding common interests and chatting with fellow friendlies.