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Help me? I'm hopeless in social situations.


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What can I say? I try, really I do. I suck. I try to say hello to people in crowds or try and get involved in the conversation of a crowd but ultimately, well. I fail. I used to have an AVmatch so I could meet people but I've lost that password :/.... I've been in Secondlife since 2007 originally. I've got skills, but few personal friends. Most of my friends list is work related. It's time to clean that out and get some REAL friends. I've tried going to random events of my same sort of interests but nothing ever comes from it. :/ I'm lonely here...

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This advice I also give to my friends when they tell me they can't find Mr. Right

"STOP LOOKING"

Same with Friends. Stop looking for friends. So many people forget about themselves when they look for friends. They start acting like they think people want them to act.. which usually results in social clumsiness.

Before you find friends find yourself. Who are you? What makes you happy? What can you do to become a good friend for yourself. Accept that and then let it go.. As a result you will walk through life like you are worth knowing, you will start attracting what your heart desires .. not your mind.

Altho avatars do not have that special glow that people who are friends with themselves are and love themselves that will attract others to them, but I'm sure energy works the same.. even in SL.

Stop searching and let your heart guide you.

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Aurelia

 

I know who I am, thank you for trying to help though. Its not a situation where I cant find people because I don't know myself or love myself. I accept myself for everything that that means. I have trouble meeting people because of who I am as a person. I just don't know how to say hello first.

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I DJ at Ambrosia Dance Club.  The patrons are friendly as is the staff.  Come join in,  (it is open 24/7), dance and watch local chat.  Do not expect to make friends the first time there (who knows, though, you might!).  Many are regulars.  Perv profiles and initiate chat with someone who looks interesting.

Make sure your profile reflects you, too.  Enjoy and have fun.

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Anita, I know what you mean very well.

I don't have a problem with saying "hello" first, but I also found that most people aren't interested in horlind the conversation after that intitian greeting. It also depends on what kind of people you are interested in, that would probably decide the place you are trying to meet them in.

When I jsut started SL what helped me is to pick a place and go to it regularly, then you get to know people that come there at the same time as you, those that work and that is how friendships were made for me.

If you ever want to chat, find me in world, we can have this conversation there.

Diasonia Stransky

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Heyyyy Anita!

I bet you like to get all dolled up and go dancing.  Come to Frank's Jazz Place which is my favorite place to hang out.  Sometimes you meet the most interesting people---just take a deep breath and say Hi!---you'll never know what is in that avi standing next to you---might be a dud, or might turn out to be a really cool person---just be yourself.  It's something like fishing---hehehe   :) ---just be patient and diligent.  Come regularly so that people will recognize and remember your name.   Relax and hang loose---and  there's nothing wrong with picking a solo dance if you get tired of waiting for a guy to ask you to dance---you might as well enjoy the music.  Please do say hello to me if you see me.  :matte-motes-bashful-cute-2:

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am guessing you are not good with being "part of a crowd" in real life either? That is not a problem, maybe you are like me and feel like "Two is company, three is a crowd".

Problem with trying to be part of "the crowd" is it takes too much time and energy. Maybe try to find others who are more on the loner side.

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