How do you deal with Second Life?

[Keli Kyrie]

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Hippie Bowman wrote:

Hi Keli!  My SL is and extension of my RL.  What you see is what you get if you dig.  I Don't like banning or muting, but sometime I have to.  But they all come off the list once a year on May the 3rd, to see if they will behave.  HEHEH!  Everyone deserves a second chance!

 

Peace!

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You are a wonderful and forgiving man Hippie I respect you for that. I love that you try to give people second chances, but I also see you as being open to SLers from all walks of life, am I wrong?

[Keli Kyrie]

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Tari Landar wrote:

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Keli Kyrie wrote:

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Tari Landar wrote:

Personally I'm not fond of any opinion that supports the thought that another person can actually "ruin" sl for someone,or any aspect of it. If that makes any sense at all. No one can ruin your experience, unless you let them. I live my Sl the way I choose to and believe others ought to be given that same opportunity. We each control our own sl, for our own self.

If something, or someone, annoys me, sometimes I speak up and sometimes I simply walk away. It depends entirely on the situation at hand. I don't find it difficult to avoid the things I know I dislike, though. Or to, at least, pay them no mind when I do come across them. I don't really need to use mute, or give them more thought than I think they deserve. I don't sit and wish they were banned, or continue mulling over whatever it was that happened. It is what it is.

But that's just me.

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Very good points Tari and I wish more people would handle things the way you do. But what do we do when these different people come together in the Forum? There is no mute button here and the Dragons, Trolls, and Vampires (virtual and metaphors) have just as much right to be here as the rest of us. How do we react when we can't walk away?

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You can walk away, you can

always

walk away. You don't have to react to everything and the thought process that drives people to that conclusion is one of the very things I avoid like the plague. It's also something I don't fully understand. Why do you feel you

have

to do(or say, or deal, whatever) anything at all? Even acknolwedging they exist is likely giving them more thought than they probably deserve at that time-if they truly are attempting to "ruin" an experience for others. That's a general you, of course.

I just don't see any real reason to worry about it, at all. Everyone has every right to be here and provided we stick within the rules we're given, we all have a right to say and do as we please(here being inworld, forums and such). There are lots of things people say, and do, that others are going to dislike-greatly even. How we react to someone, or something is not dependent upon that person(or thing/situation), it's dependent entirely upon us. We don't have to

do

anything, though. Doing nothing is just usually way better than what most

choose

to do.

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I love ^^^this^^^ very well said. Hey where is the kudos button?

[Keli Kyrie]

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ROB34466IIIa wrote:

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Keli Kyrie wrote:

 the Dragons, Trolls, and Vampires (virtual and metaphors) have just as much right to be here as the rest of us. How do we react when we can't walk away?

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You might consider chosing your friends more wisely ... :robotindifferent:

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But they are all part of this strange and wonderful world and I love exploring it. What is wrong with making a few friends along the way? At least when I am friends with them don't burn down my house, well one still does, but we are trying to get her help. It is really a sad story... poor girl.

[Keli Kyrie]

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Storm Clarence wrote:

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Keli Kyrie wrote:

. But what do we do when these different people come together in the Forum? There is no mute button here and the Dragons, Trolls, and Vampires (virtual and metaphors) have just as much right to be here as the rest of us.

How do we react when we can't walk away?

---

We throw a party.  

The two parties that helped shape my forum experience were: Hippiestock I, and the church 'scene' that was started by you and wonderfully captured in an interactive photo by Madelaine.  

I really want to say that all fora are alike, but it just isn't true.  SLF is my home; I rez here, chat here, and I make friends here.  This forum is unlike any other (not that I have participated in so many) so when the going gets tough I say throw a party. 

 

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As you wish. but do you think we can all get along for one day?



[Keli Kyrie]

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Hippie Bowman wrote:

Yes!  Hippiestock!  It started out to be just that.  A big party!  I called it a Forum Dwellers party.  As time went on during the planning of the party, the name Hippiestock was coined.  And the name stuck.   I must say that Hippiestock was and is one of my greatest pleasures in SL. The church picture was also great fun!

 

Peace!

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I think having that party was one of the best things that has ever happened to us Forum Dwellers.

[Keli Kyrie]

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Alazarin Mondrian wrote:

Hmmm.... I have a fair amount of overlap between my SL & RL in that I bring my music in-world and perform in SL. I have come across some pressure to make my SL avatar & SL music performance reflect my RL life. Some people would rather watch a grainy 2 fps webcam stream from my studio instead of the performance presentation I do in SL. Meh, I've probably lost out on alot of bookings and money from not pandering to the 'realo' crowd in SL. At least I don't need their money so I can walk away and 'do things my way' so to speak [to mix quotes and paraphrase Frank Zappa].

That said, I believe that SL is a fantastic medium for musicians to reach audiences outside of their geographic catchment area.

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So you are a Real Lifer with SL Tendencies, that sounds fun and isn't that what SL should be, fun.

[Jo Yardley]

To me SL is very much like my RL.

My avatar looks like me, I live in a RP city with lots of rules (you even risk traffic fines), I work hard, I live in a small damp apartment above a noisy bar, etc.

The only difference is that in SL I live in 1929 and in RL I live in 1939.

[Keli Kyrie]

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Jo Yardley wrote:

To me SL is very much like my RL.

My avatar looks like me, I live in a RP city with lots of rules (you even risk traffic fines), I work hard, I live in a small damp apartment above a noisy bar, etc.

The only difference is that in SL I live in 1929 and in RL I live in 1939.

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(pouts) I know ...but even with your very strick rules I still found you to be very nice to us evil doers.

Just think in a few years it will be 2019, the sim 1929, and your RL 1939. I think there should be a party when this happens.

[Jo Yardley]

Hahaha!

Well early next month 1920s Berlin will have its 3rd anniversary and one of the events we're having is an open door day, on that day there will be no 1920s dresscode, so people can come and explore the sim in modern clothes, as furries, dragons, whatever.

So then we will have fewer rules

In 2019 my 3 time warp hole moments of being will colide and the world will implode.

Sorry.

The Mayans were wrong.

[Day Alderson]

The way you describe it, I also think that Puff and Scruff are rather harmless and I wouldn't mind if they tried to have a little fun. So as long as they don't carry it to excess, I would let them. If I would like to make friends with them depends on other things.

And regarding Real Lifers telling me what or what not to do, I will tell them once and politely that I'm not not going to observe their rules. If they don't stop then, I'll just walk away. I would probably not mute them right away, but ignore them until they come up with another topic. However, I doubt that I could be friends with Real Lifers, because our view on Second Life is simply too different. Which doesn't mean that I would not tell people who I trust some things about my RL.

I'm not interested in having anyone banned (with a few exceptions maybe, i.e. if I saw under age play). If someone annoys me personally, I just want that they stop doing it.

[Hippie Bowman]

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Keli Kyrie wrote:

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Hippie Bowman wrote:

Hi Keli!  My SL is and extension of my RL.  What you see is what you get if you dig.  I Don't like banning or muting, but sometime I have to.  But they all come off the list once a year on May the 3rd, to see if they will behave.  HEHEH!  Everyone deserves a second chance!

 

Peace!

---

You are a wonderful and forgiving man Hippie I respect you for that. I love that you try to give people second chances, but I also see you as being open to SLers from all walks of life, am I wrong?

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Awww!  Keli!  Thank you for your kind words.  I am humbled by them.  Yes, I am very open minded, and love all humanity!

 

Peace!

[Madelaine McMasters]

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Keli Kyrie wrote:

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Tari Landar wrote:

Personally I'm not fond of any opinion that supports the thought that another person can actually "ruin" sl for someone,or any aspect of it. If that makes any sense at all. No one can ruin your experience, unless you let them. I live my Sl the way I choose to and believe others ought to be given that same opportunity. We each control our own sl, for our own self.

If something, or someone, annoys me, sometimes I speak up and sometimes I simply walk away. It depends entirely on the situation at hand. I don't find it difficult to avoid the things I know I dislike, though. Or to, at least, pay them no mind when I do come across them. I don't really need to use mute, or give them more thought than I think they deserve. I don't sit and wish they were banned, or continue mulling over whatever it was that happened. It is what it is.

But that's just me.

---

 

Very good points Tari and I wish more people would handle things the way you do. But what do we do when these different people come together in the Forum? There is no mute button here and the Dragons, Trolls, and Vampires (virtual and metaphors) have just as much right to be here as the rest of us. How do we react when we can't walk away?

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Keli, although you have softened your rhetoric since this post, where you declared that we need trolls, your current contention that they have a right to be here seems not to be held by the Lindens, who have banned a few, some permanently. In the four years I've been in SL, I have filed one AR and have yet to mute anyone.

Tari, while I'm in general agreement with the idea that we can walk away from unpleasant people and their behavior, that doesn't always ensure happiness. I have watched some of my friends endure the aggravation of unpleasant characters here in the forums and feeds. They are, to varying degrees, able to weather the abuse by ignoring it. But, to the extent they cannot, my enjoyment of SL is diminished by their unhappiness.

So it's not quite true that no one can ruin your experience unless you let them. While we can try to make the best of a situation, as long as we have empathy and friends, our happiness will be affected by others. For this reason, I do not advocate inclusiveness to the point of amorality.

Sadly, it is sometimes necessary to walk away from people we like to avoid people we don't.

[Perrie Juran]

I try to simply take things in stride and be respectful of others.

I do have my Martian avatar that I goof off with occasionally but I also recognize that there can be a point where enough is enough.

As far as your SL experience being a reflection on your RL I don't see a way to separate them.  It is still "you" sitting behind the keyboard.

But really what your questions make me think of is my best and oldest friend in SL.  We have stood by each other for over five years now.  She is a very warm and caring person.  She is a Second Life artist.  Her art work is stunning!  But it is also dark and moody.  So while I marvel at the emotion she can capture and evoke with her art work, it is also difficult for me to look at. Maybe the best way I can express it is that when I see here art I can also feel her pain.

[Storm Clarence]

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:

...

I have watched some of my friends endure the aggravation of unpleasant characters here in the forums and feeds.

 

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QFT!  

I, too, have witnessed many friends subjected to, and endure, the aggravation and unpleasant characters on both this forum and the feeds.  So sad... isn't it.  Rhetorical.  

[Keli Kyrie]

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Jo Yardley wrote:

Hahaha!

Well early next month 1920s Berlin will have its 3rd anniversary and one of the events we're having is an open door day, on that day there will be no 1920s dresscode, so people can come and explore the sim in modern clothes, as furries, dragons, whatever.

So then we will have fewer rules

In 2019 my 3 time warp hole moments of being will colide and the world will implode.

Sorry.

The Mayans were wrong.

---

I look forward to your event it is always fun to visit your sim... hehe those crazy Mayans.

[Keli Kyrie]

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Day Alderson wrote:

The way you describe it, I also think that Puff and Scruff are rather harmless and I wouldn't mind if they tried to have a little fun. So as long as they don't carry it to excess, I would let them. If I would like to make friends with them depends on other things.

 

And regarding Real Lifers telling me what or what not to do, I will tell them once and politely that I'm not not going to observe their rules. If they don't stop then, I'll just walk away. I would probably not mute them right away, but ignore them until they come up with another topic. However, I doubt that I could be friends with Real Lifers, because our view on Second Life is simply too different. Which doesn't mean that I would not tell people who I trust some things about my RL.

 

I'm not interested in having anyone banned (with a few exceptions maybe, i.e. if I saw under age play). If someone annoys me personally, I just want that they stop doing it.

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I respect Real Lifers for their courage in mixing their Real Lifes with there Second Lives, that is a really hard thing to do, but it is not for everyone. I mean do you really want your mom or your boss to know what you do in here? Some people are in SL to have fun, to game, maybe even to test social limits and push buttons. If we can look at things from the right angle I think we can learn how to react to each other without blowing a gasket.

[Jo Yardley]

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Keli Kyrie wrote:

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I mean do you really want your mom or your boss to know what you do in here?

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Yes, I even gladly and proudly give them a tour

I post what I do on facebook, share it with friends, family, employees, etc.

Everyone may know what I do here!

[JeanneAnne]

Personally, I dont want2 see any1 banned. I dont like the censorship in these fora, either, for instance. I've never banned any1 in SL or filed an AR on any1. (iv muted an ex- or 2 tho LoL) Then again, iv never encountered any serious griefers .. Some ppl ~like the guy who used the avatar magnet on me~ iv ended up making friends with .. Doofy dom guys i let put their collars on me then steal them LoL The way i look @ SL is ever1 should just do what they want .. if i dont like what some1 is doing i can go elsewhere .. imo SL suffers from 2 much control, not from not enuf ..

Jeanne

[Keli Kyrie]

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:

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Keli Kyrie wrote:

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Tari Landar wrote:

Personally I'm not fond of any opinion that supports the thought that another person can actually "ruin" sl for someone,or any aspect of it. If that makes any sense at all. No one can ruin your experience, unless you let them. I live my Sl the way I choose to and believe others ought to be given that same opportunity. We each control our own sl, for our own self.

If something, or someone, annoys me, sometimes I speak up and sometimes I simply walk away. It depends entirely on the situation at hand. I don't find it difficult to avoid the things I know I dislike, though. Or to, at least, pay them no mind when I do come across them. I don't really need to use mute, or give them more thought than I think they deserve. I don't sit and wish they were banned, or continue mulling over whatever it was that happened. It is what it is.

But that's just me.

---

 

Very good points Tari and I wish more people would handle things the way you do. But what do we do when these different people come together in the Forum? There is no mute button here and the Dragons, Trolls, and Vampires (virtual and metaphors) have just as much right to be here as the rest of us. How do we react when we can't walk away?

---

Keli, although you have softened your rhetoric since 

this post, where you declared that we

need

trolls

, your current contention that they have a right to be here seems not to be held by the Lindens, who have banned a few, some permanently. In the four years I've been in SL, I have filed one AR and have yet to mute anyone.

Tari, while I'm in general agreement with the idea that we can walk away from unpleasant people and their behavior, that doesn't always ensure happiness. I have watched some of my friends endure the aggravation of unpleasant characters here in the forums and feeds. They are, to varying degrees, able to weather the abuse by ignoring it. But, to the extent they cannot, my enjoyment of SL is diminished by their unhappiness.

So it's not quite true that no one can ruin your experience unless you let them. While we can try to make the best of a situation, as long as we have empathy and friends, our happiness will be affected by others. For this reason, I do not advocate inclusiveness to the point of amorality.

Sadly, it is sometimes necessary to walk away from people we like to avoid people we don't.

---

The point of this post is how you react to people that are different then you. There are people in this world of ours that like to test limits, push buttons, play games, even create their own little social experiments to see how people will react. Should all of Second Life look like Disneyland? Where is the sense of adventure, seeking out new worlds, new people, new ideas? If we can not learn how to react to each other in the safety of this virtual world how will we ever be able to in RL?

[Jo Yardley]

It all depends on where you are and what you do in SL.

In my sim I have no patience or interest in interacting with visitors who are not willing to follow the rules and I also have the repsonsibility towards my tenants and the people part of our community who I promised a certain quality of life.

So in some sims rules may be more important then in others.

[Ever Dreamscape]

Haha Keli...you've nailed me here and I love the name. Scruff on the other hand, I think got a bad rap.  I believe you said that these “characters” in your example here are more a compilation of persons to illustrate a point and pose some questions. Scruff I cant imagine scaring anyone (we wont mention who put Bozo in my apt or another person that tried to frame a Linden for graffiti on my walls hehe etc etc), nosing....i wouldn’t think that regularly going afk and shopping while posing for our antics and pics would deserve a nose poking criticism...eating pets...well that one I don’t know.... there is now that I think on it.... a distinct lack of pets at the Plaza... hmmm. but I will ask you to clarify that you use this pic to demonstrate the larger differences in SL than the pixels we portray here.

 

Now when it comes to muting, banning, wishing etc. I'd like to be clear on another point; while I have done many things deserving a mute, ban, bounce, blame etc. ... such as spamming feeds, being generally ridiculous at infohubs, wreaking “natural” disasters on friends properties, and “decorating” other friends homes, any muting of me that I’m aware of  involved a very mutual muting by two parties on a matter of great personal seriousness, and is not as most here may be likely to think; the result of pranking and such. I know of another person that doesn’t much talk to me anymore, he once asked me my opinion and apparently didn’t like what I had to say. Be careful what you ask for right?

 

That said... I always love it when this topic comes up as some are so opinionated about it. Let's see if I can address your questions.

 

Diversity fuels evolution. I very much enjoy meeting people that are different from me, what a great way to learn about myself and others.  I don’t much appreciate people telling me how to “play” SL (unless I'm out of line of course) and try to respect their wishes as well. I know that in any life its entirely easy to make mistakes and let one's judgment lapse, it's also far too easy to misinterpret a persons words and even actions. I find I need to check myself regularly (or try to), and hope others do the same.

 

I do feel that SL is an extension of RL, as wherever I go I find myself being me. Also I am not secretive about my RL, and try to understand and respect those that are. I don’t even feel it's about being secretive; its a simple matter of personal choice. I'm a big fan of choice. However I don’t like being lied to; if I ask a personal question I prefer a yes, no, maybe, or none of your business... all of which are wholly acceptable. Generally I've been able to sort out rather early in my relationships where the boundaries are and try to respect them. All that being said I have as of late found myself being rather one-dimensional in SL; pranking, punking, joking, being a general dumbass; a caricature of myself in some ways. Sometimes that annoys me, sometimes I roll with it. It's generally fun and purposefully easy. Yet my whole person is a multidimensional one of many talents, weaknesses, and emotions. I'm gregarious, silly, a prankster, and fun loving, I’m also deeply passionate, sensitive, contemplative, and tender. I try to be supportive, honest, and sincere. It's highly likely that the clownish self attempts to mask the more vulnerable one.

 

I love that SL gives me a place to express my inner child and also to ponder serious questions. I love letting loose any creativity I may have here, and exploring that of others. To me, SL offers a unique window into people's imaginations and dreams. I am often in awe. While I feel integrity is paramount in both worlds, I don’t share my full spectrum of emotions with many people in either world, as time and whim constrain me.

 

I do try to make rules for myself as to how long I want to be on, what sorts of things I am willing to do or not, etc. and who or where I choose to do them with, but doubt I’ve ever suggested anyone else do anything they don’t want to do. Perhaps some well meaning advice idk. I can tell you I don’t like feeling pressured to do things I’m not comfortable with, and greatly detest persons who in the past have  implied that I am some sort of tight ass for having declined offers of pixel intimacies with them. I am here to entertain only myself and any friends... should they want to come along for the ride. I'm generally quite willing to give advice, opinions, help with a project and even don a silly avatar has someone a need, or fun idea; but have better things to do than fuel the fantasies of married men who are bored with their wives... uggg... and highly resent even being asked. (The first time not so much, the second time...get over it already.) I am free to look like a Barbie doll all I want to; that is not implied consent to virtual sex! (whew, glad I got that off my chest ...those guys burn me up!) -no pun intended.

 

Again I like discussing this subject, I very much like serious discussions in general, although have not been at liberty or much inclined to participate in many lately. I respect greatly that SL means many things to different people, and how people “play” in “it” in so many ways. The one thing I find highly distasteful is any person trying to dictate how another should act here (TOS aside). If I should get carried away, then I expect a talking to, a mute, or to simply be ignored. If someone should try to tell me how to behave in SL or anywhere, they can expect the same from me. It's pretty simple really, and I guess that’s the key, life can be very complicated sometimes, lately I find I am just looking for a good chuckle.

 

Anyhow...there's my 3L.

 

BTW... I had fun yesterday...I hope you did too!

 

...now...where did I put those matches

 

 

[JeanneAnne]

>>In my sim I have no patience or interest in interacting with visitors who are not willing to follow the rules..<<

Which is why i have no interest in visiting your sim. :womanhappy:

Jeanne

[Cali Souther]

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Keli Kyrie wrote:

Some people think whatever is true in Real Life should be true in SL. It is true you can see SL as an extension of RL but I think you will take all the fun out of it. For example my two friends below, let's call them Puff and Scuff. Puff likes to warm things up a bit, setting fires where ever she pleases and just causing general mayhem. Scuff on the other hand likes to poke his nose into what ever he can, scare people, and tries to eat their pets. We have all kinds of wild and crazy things, even Vampires in SL that would be more than happy to suck all the happiness out of you. Do you let them? Do you mute them? Do you make friends with them?  Do you wish they were banned?

And for you Hard Core SLers how do you deal with the Real Lifers that want to set rules for how you are to live your Second Life that want to tell you your SL experience is a reflection on your RL? Do you let them? Do you mute them? Do you make friends with them?  Do you wish they were banned?

We all see things from different points of view. I am not to saying one is right and the other is wrong, but they are different. When we are inworld there are ways to keep these different groups of people apart but here in the forums we all come together and there is no way to separate us. So how do you react to people that are very different from yourself?

 

All characters appearing in this post are fictitious. Any resemblance to real or virtual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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I enjoy all the creative options in SL.  Quite often, my avatar is non-human.  Still,  regardless of my avatar,  I am me ... so my RL persona does extend into my SL.  If that makes sense.  =)

 

PS - That is one cool looking dragon!

[Jo Yardley]

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JeanneAnne wrote:

>>In my sim I have no patience or interest in interacting with visitors who are not willing to follow the rules..<<

Which is why i have no interest in visiting your sim. :womanhappy:

Jeanne

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I wouldn't miss the chance to visit an sim just because they have some rules.

[Storm Clarence]

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JeanneAnne wrote:

>>In my sim I have no patience or interest in interacting with visitors who are not willing to follow the rules..<<

Which is why i have no interest in visiting your sim. :womanhappy:

 

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And that is your absolute right.  I have visited Jo's sim on several occasions; I have recommended to others; I will visit again. I will also donate to the sim accordingly, and within my means.  That is what SL is all about.