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Senobia Xenga

Q. for Married Men who partake in pixelated perversions

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I guess the book/movie thing compared to SL is that this here is interactive and a movie or a book is not.

(Before I go on with my post: I am totaly aware of the fact that every woman needs to decide of their own what is ok for her and what not. In the following part I will explain MY point of view and how I would think of certain things. Not a rule for everyone, but maybe an interesting point to think of.)

Ok...lets start with books. No problem for me, as there is just a little step away from thinking yourself about some erotic situation. And you can't cheat with a book, its not alive and the charakters are also not alive. Maybe I just would be curious whats the book about and maybe ask what he likes about it. (could only turn out good I think).

Movies are a step further. There the fantasy is visualized and the people in there are real persons. But well, which guy hasn't watched them? I would just get irritated if its some really weird stuff or if the time he spend on those movies grows. But in a normal case its nothing to worry about, cause its also just some kind of passive story.

And then we have second life....its interactiv and behind every avatar is a real person. I can't help myself, but I would get suspicous if I caught my partner searching for cybersex in SL. I would ask myself why he needs an interactive virtual porn movie......why having fun with some escort when I can have real sex with his partner? I have the feeling that this is closer to the border than movies or books.

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Senobia Xenga wrote:

So a good old fashioned on the up and up 'relationship' is an absolute no no, due to your RL
commitment
and
causing conflicts of emotion
, but rubbing a few off to the sound/sight of another woman's
avatar
/words/noises is totally acceptable
because it's only superficial self-gratification
.

 

Amended the above for clarity.

The old saying of "it's only sex" can ring true on cases like these, and many times it's because it's just exponentially easier for men to separate their emotions from their lust/sex then it is for women. As a result, sex is much more of a simple recreation for guys then it is an expression of emotion, or something that has to be tied to emotion, or something brought on by emotion. The same holds true in a digital world as well.

Regardless of gender though, if one can omit the kind of romance that leads to developing those emotionally deep bonds, and steer clear of things that lead to forming the feelings of love, then it's definitely possible to ensure that their RL bonds, and any new feelings of love stay focused on their RL, and only come from their RL. It's when people create totally new imprints/feelings of love from sources inside SL that those feelings get filed away in their head in the WRONG folder. That's what causes the conflict of emotion, the feeling of being torn between two things, feeling helpless, and all that other nasty stuff. Avoid it by avoiding the things that lead to it, and sex play in SL can remain only about the superficial play and entertainment.

The one part about the old fashioned SL relationship that I didn't see mentioned was 'the lazy'. For a relationship to actually work, it requires work, effort, etc.., and many just aren't willing to invest that deeply in something if their heart isn't in it. Some also say 'why buy the cow if the milk is free?', and I really flippin hate that saying because it's so typical, and stereotypical, but I also have to admit for RL married guys here in SL that I can't argue with the reasoning behind it either. There's 'cows' everywhere! lol.

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Senobia Xenga wrote:


Ceka Cianci wrote:

so basically if a book stirs up those same things..they are still lying to themselves?

 

Books/movies don't type/talk back, shugah. 

I am so *quick* when achieving ecstasy that I scream SHUGAHHHHHH way before my partner has a chance to type it back!  It all the same thing to me, I don't need them to talk/type back; I like to look at the pictures :|

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Drake1 Nightfire wrote:


Senobia Xenga wrote:

I'll preface this by saying I don't wanna get into the whole "Married people have no business in SL" debate. That's not the intent of this post. This is a serious (to me) question that I've often pondered.

 

Joe Blow is on a pixel sex/RP sim trolling for a pixel piece of .....well, you know. He's a frequent visitor to these sims and loves, loves to partake in
pixelated perversions
. He has a profile and he tells you about himself, including a clause similar to this one:

 

"Not looking for relationships of any kind. I'm married to my one true love and soul mate in RL and couldn't be happier." (Made up on the spot for the sake of this thread. Any similarities between this statement and any user profiles is purely coincidental)

 

So a good old fashioned on the up and up 'relationship' is an absolute no no, due to your RL situation and defiling its sanctity, but rubbing a few off to the sound/sight of another woman's words/noises is totally acceptable.

*head tilt*

Thoughts?

(Yes, the same question could be asked of women, but I'd like to hear from the men in this thread.)

 


 

So now it's perverted to interact sexually in SL?  OK, so he is happily married in RL, so what? Maybe his wife has no issue with it since its not going to become RL. Maybe he get aroused by SLex and it spices up his marriage. Personally, i don't "Rub a few off" during SLex but i do get aroused, and my wife benefits from it. 

As stated on the wall of my Skybox.. "What happens in the cabin, stays in the cabin."

And just to ask... why shouldn't married people be in SL? Not every person in SL is here for the sex.

Perhaps your view of SL as a sex playground is the perverted thought.

i bow down to this post. i couldnt agree more.

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Tamara Artis wrote:

People are allowed to do whatever they want, as long as its "legal"
;)
And when someone marries, in lets say it "modern" worl, that person is still free to have fun and explore new things. Marriage is not a prison. That guy was honest enough to state it in his profile. Reason is, he doesn't want any lady he's having fun in SL to hope for something more than that... He is preventing those types of people from being hurt. And you should respect that and try to find someone who is free for any possible RL thing:)

 

isnt this still a form of adultry as there is somebody on the other side of that computer that you are having sex with.

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emmettcullen93 wrote:

no hun that is a gesture

you just type in the trigger faster than we type the whole word.

Are you addressing me as "hun"?   

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Storm Clarence wrote:


emmettcullen93 wrote:

no hun that is a gesture

you just type in the trigger faster than we type the whole word.

Are you addressing me as "hun"?   

that post was but it is general for me to address somebody as hun. dont take offence to it plz! *pouty face*

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emmettcullen93 wrote:


Storm Clarence wrote:


emmettcullen93 wrote:

no hun that is a gesture

you just type in the trigger faster than we type the whole word.

Are you addressing me as "hun"?   

that post was but i
t is general for me to address somebody as hun
. dont take offence to it plz! *pouty face*

With me, change that habit now!  Or, and more preferably, don't post into me again.   If you post to me with respect it will be reciprocal.  If you do not, then that, too, will be reciprocated.  

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Storm Clarence wrote:


emmettcullen93 wrote:


Storm Clarence wrote:


emmettcullen93 wrote:

no hun that is a gesture

you just type in the trigger faster than we type the whole word.

Are you addressing me as "hun"?   

that post was but i
t is general for me to address somebody as hun
. dont take offence to it plz! *pouty face*

With me, change that habit now!  Or, and more preferably, don't post into me again.   If you post to me with respect it will be reciprocal.  If you do not, then that, too, will be reciprocated.  

i dont see where i posted disrespectfully as i did make a mistake and i am sorry for that. but please dont get rude with me when i am trying to be nice to you. road goes both ways is all i am saying.

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emmettcullen93 wrote:


Tamara Artis wrote:

People are allowed to do whatever they want, as long as its "legal"
;)
And when someone marries, in lets say it "modern" worl, that person is still free to have fun and explore new things. Marriage is not a prison. That guy was honest enough to state it in his profile. Reason is, he doesn't want any lady he's having fun in SL to hope for something more than that... He is preventing those types of people from being hurt. And you should respect that and try to find someone who is free for any possible RL thing:)

 

isnt this still a form of adultry as there is somebody on the other side of that computer that you are having sex with.

Not if there was no intention. If a person enjoys just the act, without the romantic feelings involved, if there is no desire to make something meaningful of that act, then its not. I can't say in general.

Does the film actress makes adultery when she plays in a romantic movie? 

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Tamara Artis wrote:


emmettcullen93 wrote:


Tamara Artis wrote:

People are allowed to do whatever they want, as long as its "legal"
;)
And when someone marries, in lets say it "modern" worl, that person is still free to have fun and explore new things. Marriage is not a prison. That guy was honest enough to state it in his profile. Reason is, he doesn't want any lady he's having fun in SL to hope for something more than that... He is preventing those types of people from being hurt. And you should respect that and try to find someone who is free for any possible RL thing:)

 

isnt this still a form of adultry as there is somebody on the other side of that computer that you are having sex with.

Not if there was no intention. If a person enjoys just the act, without the romantic feelings involved, if there is no desire to make something meaningful of that act, then its not. I can't say in general.

Does the film actress makes adultery when she plays in a romantic movie? 

acting is acting

but in secondlife if you are there for sex i doubt it is acting it is probally for pleasure.

so if you are acting maybe find a way to show it off as art not as a game. it just sounds sinful for some reason.

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Syo Emerald wrote:

And then we have second life....its interactiv and behind every avatar is a real person. I can't help myself, but I would get suspicous if I caught my partner searching for cybersex in SL. I would ask myself why he needs an interactive virtual porn movie......why having fun with some escort when I can have real sex with his partner? I have the feeling that this is closer to the border than movies or books.

i understand there is a person behind every avatar..

what i am getting at is that i can't tell you it is real if you don't look at it as real..

some just see an interactive avatar..some don't even talk to them..

i'm not saying it isn't real in the sense that two people can chat with each other..

but if they are deciding to stick to roles that are just about the avatar and not about RL people..then it is just interactive role play and they put the avatars rl operator out  of the picture..

i mean if they are camming and voicing..ya thats kind of way on the rl side of things..or if they are getting all involved with what the RL person is doing..or they are getting a relationship going..thats just like being in yahoo doign cybor imagining what rl people are doing and imagining being together..

but if you have a giraff avatar and vampire avatar joining up to see what happens and sticking to the roles.. how is that not fantasy when it is all about the avatars and not the rl person behind the avatar?

they are not out for anythig else but the situation..

if i saw my husband doing something like that on the computer..i would be more curious about his fantasy that he felt too uncompfy to come to me about..  rather than thinking he was cheating on me with someone from second life..

he may have been curious about it and felt it was something i may look at as sick or maybe he thought i would look at him different for having  a certain fantasy..

there are lots of reasons rather than someone cheating..i would much rather him find that interaction on sl than RL thats for sure hehehehe

but me being in second life  i would be more understanding than someone that has not been in here..

 

if my husband ever found me doing something like that..he would probably be like..hey can i jump in there LOL

KIDDING!!

i guess what i am trying to say is that  it can be as real as people want it to be ..but also it can just be about looking at it as just an avatar  interacting and nothing more..

if people are saying it is just about the typing.. then it can be in any platform..like WOW or all those online war games or anywhere..SL is no more special than any game out there they can type in as well..

a troll and a bloodelf can meet up just as easily as two avatars can in second life..

 

 

 

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Ceka Cianci wrote:

a troll and a bloodelf can meet up...

  

I would be your bloodelf any day!  

 

 

ETA: /is not so sure that reads right. 

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Yes acting is acting and can you say that the actors don't enjoy their roles? Every person is different and if I can't have sex without the feelings involved that doesn't mean noone else can.

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SL(*edit* SL sex, that is ;) ) is definitely interactive porn, the operative word being interactive. You can't escape the fact you're interacting with a live person. On one hand in the original post's scenario, I can appreciate the guy's honesty about his relationship status. There are plenty of men in SL who do the opposite, they feign love and romance so they can get to the sex. Sometimes they convince themselves it truly IS "love" but then sure enough, two weeks later they grow tired of the person they're with and find another person to play house with.

Now back to the original point, people can say it's just 'cartoon sex' all they want. But the traditional Hentai/Adult anime cartoons don't reciprocate sex talk. Slex is interracting with another person (unless they boinkin' a bot or dead avi, etc).

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emmettcullen93 wrote:


Tamara Artis wrote:


emmettcullen93 wrote:


Tamara Artis wrote:

People are allowed to do whatever they want, as long as its "legal"
;)
And when someone marries, in lets say it "modern" worl, that person is still free to have fun and explore new things. Marriage is not a prison. That guy was honest enough to state it in his profile. Reason is, he doesn't want any lady he's having fun in SL to hope for something more than that... He is preventing those types of people from being hurt. And you should respect that and try to find someone who is free for any possible RL thing:)

 

isnt this still a form of adultry as there is somebody on the other side of that computer that you are having sex with.

Not if there was no intention. If a person enjoys just the act, without the romantic feelings involved, if there is no desire to make something meaningful of that act, then its not. I can't say in general.

Does the film actress makes adultery when she plays in a romantic movie? 

acting is acting

but in secondlife if you are there for sex i doubt it is acting it is probally for pleasure.

so if you are acting maybe find a way to show it off as art not as a game. it just sounds sinful for some reason.

 

Sin comes from others and rests with others..unless there is guilt made from them that gets attached to you..

the only one that can say it is wrong is you and the one you are with..

the rest of the world may have their own versions of a definition..but only you know the rules you have with the one you are with...

so for outsiders to judge what may be perfectly fine in someone else's house..that's just being judgmental going off someone else's plan they were programmed with as they were growing up..

each house has it's own rules and outlooks on life..

there is no one set of rules no matter how much the world would love to tame us..*winks*

 

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Storm Clarence wrote:


Ceka Cianci wrote:

a troll and a bloodelf can meet up...

  

I would be your bloodelf any day!  

 

 

ETA: /is not so sure that reads right. 

LOL

let me clear it wiff my husband first :matte-motes-evil-invert:

hehehehe

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Tamara Artis wrote:

So everyone except me are having SL sex?? :smileysurprised:

i'm not hehehe

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The closest I get to sex in SL is chasing Ceka in the forum (for the past 2+ years.)  I am a forum whore, so any sex I have is right here on this very board.  

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